Author's Note: Hello! I'm back again with a new chapter! I am rather worried about how this chapter turned out though. I'm thinking of uploading it again after the story is completed. It's just seems like something is missing. The end is coming up soon and I'm saving my inspiration for that. If I do it right it should be pretty awesome! Oh1 before I forget, in this chapter I reveal a little bit of who Hilary is. Not that she is a spy or anything, just some of her past and what she feels and so on. Anyways, reviewer responses! I totally love you all!
Penguin Pop- Yes, it was very sad. I kind of feel bad for making Hilary go through all that. Oh well…Anyways, thanks for the great review and compliments! I hope you enjoy this chapter, though its sad too…
Chibi-Kari- Kai does have way too much pride, though not usually pompously so. He's worked to hard to give it all up now, he's always figured in my mind. It is true that Hilary better talk to him and she better get her butt in gear fast because she's already wasted so much time. Last chapter was sad, this chapter is sad, this whole fic is sad! Now, I feel sad. Thank-you for the review and I hope you like this chapter!
Mrs. Sumpter- Thank-you very much for your concern and don't worry I wasn't to hurt at all. I can't even remember hitting the door of the closet, just a loud crash. Plus I was so shocked and excited when I came to that I hardly felt the pain. Anyways, I totally agree with you on the "His spirit fled to her side…" thing. I really love that line as well. Hopefully there will be more…if I get my butt in gear. Um…I can't really say anything else without giving away too much of the story… I'll just let you know it's getting to the climax of the story soon. Thank-you for the wonderful review and I hope you like this chapter!
knowlee- Thank-you very much for reviewing. It is true that you will have to wait and see to figure out what is happening to Hilary and what she needs to do. You won't have to wait too long though because there is only about 8 or 9 chapters left until the end, so bear with me. Hopefully you will enjoy the ending!
Hutchy- You have asked another question I cannot answer without giving away the ending of the story. You'll just have to wait and see. Thanks very much for reviewing and I hope you enjoy this chapter!
ERALDA- I know exactly what you are saying. I feel totally bad for Hilary as well, but it is an angst fic. This story has made me cry tons as well. It's very depressing writing all this sorrow and it is especially so when I write Kai being held back by his pride. Oh, well. Thanks so much for reviewing and I hope you like this chapter!
Blue-Blade-Liger- Thank-you for reviewing! Yes, her headaches would hurt Hilary with excruciating pain. Poor her. I feel bad for writing it. Anyways, I hope you like this chapter.
Nubia- Thank-you for your concern and faithfulness as a reviewer. That really makes me glad. I am better now, though my memory is still a little foggy. Thankfully I can still write. Anyways, enough about me. You had very good guesses, but unfortunately I cannot tell you if you are wrong or right because that would ruin the story and then there would be no fun in reading the rest of it. Sorry! You are close though and I hope you enjoy finding out if you are right or very close. Thanks for your review and I hope you like this chapter!
darkness- I'm glad you like this story and I hope you enjoy the rest of it, especially this chapter. Thank-you for your review!
Random Reviewer- Thank-you for reviewing once again! Yes, I am very happy at all the reviews I receive. My reviewers rock and are so nice! That's why I do reviewer responses. But as to your feeling, yes the story is drawing to a close. The ending is very near. That makes me sad, but I'm planning a trilogy of KaixHil fictions and a few one-shots so I will be busy. Anyways, I hope you like this chapter!
Lady Paine- I'm glad that the story touched you so much that you were crying. That makes me feel that I've touched at least one person. You'll just have to wait to find out the how and why. I hope you love this chapter and thank-you for your review!
Chikoro- I don't know…Is Hilary dieing? She might not be, but then again she might very well be. I guess you'll just have to read to find out if you're right. Thank-you for your review and I hope you enjoy this chapter!
strawberriez- Thank-you for your review! I'm very glad you like the story so far! I hope you will continue to enjoy it! And yes, it is very sad and sweet and will be more so very soon. In fact this chapter is. Anyways, I hope you love this chapter too!
Tigeress- I'm glad you like mywriting style! I hope you continue to enjoy it. Thank-you for your review and I hope you continue to enjoy this sad story, especially this chapter!
lonlywolf- Sorry for the delay in updating. Believe me, I wish I could have updated sooner, but sadly my computer doesn't seem to like me very much. Thank-you for your concern and reviews. I hope you enjoy this chapter!
Beaten But Not Broken- Oooh! A very good guess. A very well explained guess and now that I think it over Hilary could have had Multiple Personality Syndrome, but that's not it. I feel bad for saying that because it was a really, really good guess. In the last chapter I will tell all the readers what she had and why she has the symptoms she has. But I will probably work it into the story somehow. And yes, I am 13. I think the only I can write is because I spend at least 90 of my life daydreaming. That amount of time has to be good for something Anyways, thanks for the review and concern! I sincerely hope you love this chapter!
Kaorie- I'm glad you have enjoyed the story so far. I'm sorry about the wait for an update, but what can you do when you're computer crashes? Anyways, thank-you for your review and I hope you enjoy this chapter as well!
Heaven's Call
Broken…
Don't let go…that I know,
Pretty soon you will see…
His eyes narrowed dangerously. They smoldered with a dark fire that threatened to consume them. His thoughts were angry. Angry at the world. Angry at the sun, smiling mockingly above him and at the wind that played gently with his hair and sighed far off laughter by his ear. Angry at the early morning dew, the trees and their whispering, at the people who had no cares, at the girl with shining ruby eyes and porcelain ivory skin, but most of all, at himself.
He cursed his weakness and his strength, for those were what held him back. He was…different. He could never fully belong in this world even if his strength and pride allowed him. But he could never be part of anything else. His weakness had too much of a grip on him. His thoughts once again drifted to anger. For anger was the only thing that separated him from the future.
Damn her! Damn her and her tricks and innocence! She deserves whatever she gets! Twisting around my thoughts like an enchantress…
But even his anger faded as he remembered her pitiful form on the beach, clinging to whatever support she could find. Her ruby orbs screwed shut with effort and her spirit singing pain. He shut his eyes against the unwanted vision, tempting his weakness with bait it could not deny. Water lapped gently around his feet, the singing of a far off mothers lullaby-bye. His nails dug into the skin of his hand, drawing blood.
Damn her…
This is hard…harder than I'd ever imagined. What am I supposed to say? What am I supposed to do?
Hilary's ruby eyes titled toward the gravel loosely covering the winding path of the park. Though her eyes seemed to be staring at tiny pieces of sand and rock they were instead filled with the sight of pictures from her mind. The visions came to her unbidden, each one a new scene of what could come to pass and each more worse and harder to bear than the last. They twisted around her heart, wringing out what little spark of hope was left and leaving her empty, breathless and hungry. Desperately hungry, for something that she feared could never come to be. Something that was filling the visions of her mind, whether conscious or unconscious, and hanging, suspended, just out of reach of her desperately clawing fingers.
Hilary bit her lip in distracted horror and her tongue touched the dull taste of blood. She grimaced and returned back to the bright sunshine of the park and the rustling wind that whipped through the trees. She shivered. She had never liked trees.
Continuing down the heavily trodden path, Hilary entered the area where her old childhood hangout was located. The long, soft grass that surrounded The Hollow, gently caressed Hilary's pale skin, causing her to shiver slightly. She lowered her head and her limbs bent to accommodate her body in the pressed tunnel of grass and large rocks. She scrunched her eyes shut against the sharp foliage and twigs that littered her vision and wrinkled her nose at the smell of the pond. Finally the small tunnel widened into a clearing of sand and surrounded by grass. Hilary got to her knees and gently brushed off the dust from her pants until her eyes caught the dark image of an all too familiar silhouette.
Her eyes widened at the sight of the person standing in the middle of her childhood memory. She found her them following the soft tresses of slate hair that blew across his strong shoulders. Her mind hammered out an urgent warning of flight and the butterflies in her stomach fluttered their powdery soft wings to a place of safety. But her ruby eyes stared as if in a trance at the one who haunted her visions with his aura and her heart sang a song of joyous approval at her surprise.
He turned and crimson met ruby in surprise. An unknown feeling surrounded the pair threatening to drown them in its weight. Kai's eyes did not widen even slightly at her unexpected arrival in his small sanctuary. Her eyes widened, but not only with surprise. He could see the joy hidden in the depths of them and his heart recoiled, as his mind leapt out in rage, like a wild animal. Hilary raised herself up and again, almost unconsciously, brushed the stray pieces of sand and grass that were not there from her legs and proceeded to the edge of the pond. Beside him her heart beat almost faster than she could breath.
"When I was small, this was where I used to come all the time. I didn't have a lot of friends because I always had strange ideas, or had my head in a book or was too bossy or something. I didn't mind though, because I had my mom and I didn't really like other kids. In fact, I still really don't like crowds that much."
I learned to adapt…
Hilary gazed at Kai out of the corner of her eye. His eyes were on the gentle lapping of the water and he showed no sign of listening, or even acknowledging her presence. But, something about him suggested anger. Maybe it was the way he wouldn't meet her eyes, or the stiff way he held himself. Maybe it was the crackling, thorny air around him. Maybe it was her imagination, but for the first time she felt…afraid. The butterflies in her navel had returned and her stomach heaved. He was such an exotic creature, a tiger among cats. He was so hard to read. A wild stallion lashing out with all its might.
For you I would adapt too…learn to live with this fear…
Hilary was rambling, she knew, but it was better than facing the words that must pass through her lips and the venom that might spring from Kais lips in return. She swallowed her fear and glanced at Kai again. When he didn't say anything she went on, a little more nervously than before.
"I…used to build little castle's in the sand and watch the sunset's. I got really good at carving after a while and…well, this was my sanctuary. It harbors my hopes and dreams and…and…oh, Kai. I'm sorry. You don't understand…I know you don't, but…I'm really, really sorry."
She turned her pleading eyes on him and watched as his gaze slowly lifted from the shimmering waters of the pond and match her stare for stare, the blankness in his crimson eyes scaring her worse than his silence had.
"For what?" Was his reply, the frigidness of which made Hilary's heart go cold with fright. "What could you possibly have done to be sorry for? "
Hilary's legs shook slightly at the built in rage that seemed to strike out at her very being. As if it lashed out from those blank, crimson beauties. She faltered desperately for words in front of this wall of anger.
Hang on…
"You know what I mean. I mean…how I ran away…and left you there…and I didn't talk to you, or explain…and, we were…we, were…"
Stand strong…
It was a line from a verse her mom used to repeat to her when she was little. Every night before she went to bed her mother would weave a tapestry of fairy tales that sprung right from her imagination. The hero or heroine would always know these words 'Hang on in the darkness of evil that looms over you like a shadow. Stand strong, even when all lights flicker out.' They would always conquer the evil, despite their wounds of mind and body. They would defy the wrongness till bitter end.
I can too…I can too…
"Huh." His blank, crimson orbs staring right through her. "What am I supposed to think, you ran away and now you come back a month later and expect me to forgive you. You've done nothing but push me away. It doesn't matter anyway." He laughed slightly, though no amusement carried through on his voice. Only a tainted bitterness. "I don't know what you think but there was nothing between us. There never could be. You're wishing for something you can't have."
You broke me…
Her stomach heaved again. Anger…Fear…Hurt. Unbelievable hurt. He would never know how much he had hurt her. Her eyes welled up with tears, but they could not spill for shock overwhelmed her and her brows knitted together. She would not cry, not in front of him.
A small thought lingered.
…I should have known better than to get close to you…
She raised her hand and very nearly struck him across the cheek, but she held back and clenched her fingers into a fist.
"Damn you." She glared through her unshed tears. "How dare you laugh? Like I'm a silly little girl with a crush. You think you know what I am? What I've gone through? Guess again. You know nothing. Nothing."
She waited for his reaction, a glimmer of hope still burning in her heart. A tiny twitch of guilt, as fleeting glimpse of sorrow in those crimson beauties. But there was nothing. Not the tiniest sign of remorse. Just cold indifference. Somehow, that hurt more than his words ever did. Her hope shattered into a million glittering shards of a dream.
"I am a fool." Hilary whispered softly. "Tyson warned me about you. He told me to stay away. Off limits, he said. You could only end up hurting me. Turns out…he was right. I should have listened. Only…I only thought…I felt…"
Her sentence was cut off as she burst into the bitterest tears that ever escaped her eyes and she turned on her heel and fled. Her sobs echoed in his ear, hanging suspended like her scream so many days ago.
Kai turned, indifference casting its spell, lifting his foot to walk down the edge of the pond and a snapping sound rent the air. His eyes fell to the ground where a tiny piece of wood lay under his foot. He bent down and picked it up, fingers traveling over the delicately arched wings, and carefully carved beak until they tightened into a vice-like grip. His blank eyes crinkled with sorrow.
Damn her…Damn me…
Broken…I'm broken…
Author's Note: O.k. Sad or what? This makes me sad and I wrote it! Oh, well. Anyways I need YOUR help. I'm planning some KaixHil one-shots and I need plot ideas. Song suggestions would be acceptable as well, since some of the one-shots might turn into songfics. So, the bottom line is plot ides and/or songs that represent KaixHil. Not OOC please. Also, keep in mind that I might not use the plots or songs. I offer no guarantee. Thanks so much! Until next time, R&R!