He could not wait to have the flat all to himself again.
Black flopped down on the couch so close, the man nearly sat on him; Black's entire side pressed against his. "So," the man draped an arm over his shoulders, a shit eating grin on that smug face that was far too close, "how'd you manage to get roped into IPPA?"
"Get off me," he growled, shoving at the man. All it gained him was Black's arm off his shoulders. A week - barely a fucking week - and already the man was doing his best to test every single one of Severus's boundaries, a constant contradiction to the man's desire for him to remain in Harry's life at the start of the week.
Lupin's voice drifted over the sound of running water from the kitchen sink. "Leave him be, Sirius."
Black's grin shifted to Lupin without missing a beat. "Aw, come on, Moony. I'm not doing anything."
Severus caught the movement at the sink stilling out of the corner of his eye and looked over in time to see the glare Lupin sent the man.
Black was up and walking away from the couch as if Lupin had set the seat of his pants on fire. "I'm up," the man proclaimed, hands in the air. "I'm up."
The movement at the sink resumed and Severus returned to the paperwork before him, most of it for the teaching course he was taking. It was a self led certification and, while it seemed excessive, he had yet to find it pointless which had to count for something. It swallowed him easily enough, taking his attention away from the others for a handful of minutes.
"I am curious to know as well," accompanied the clinking of a tea cup against its saucer as it was placed on the coffee table before him. He looked up, finding Lupin's curious gaze on him. "About how you ended up in IPPA."
"It is not some fanciful tale, if that is what you are wondering," he offered in lieu of a proper answer as Black walked back in. The man was dragging a wash cloth over his jaw and throat freshly shaven. "And nothing like being recruited by the Dark Lord."
Lupin sat down at the other end of the couch, a mug nestled between water worn hands. "I would hope not. Madam Gold seems like a reasonable witch." Lupin met his incredulous gaze with patience and ease, that curiosity still ever present. "After everything, you can't blame us for wanting to know. Especially since we are being actively recruited into the organization."
Irritation rolled through him but it gave easily under the obvious truth, not to mention telling them now allowed him to control what they learned rather than whatever they would find once employed. "They had a booth at the Magic and Greater Evocations Expo I attended shortly after entering the Potions Mastery program. Madam Gold had been present for one of the talks I had participated in and stopped me as I passed the IPPA booth sometime after."
Black spoke up. "I thought the MAGE Expo stopped before we entered school." The man looked between him and Lupin, apparently startled by his disbelief and Lupin's surprise. "What? I'm from an old family. The MAGE Expo was a big deal." Black's expression darkened. "And not always in a good way."
"They shifted from bi-annual to every five years," Severus informed him calmly. "The next one is being held in Africa, though the exact date and location has yet to be announced."
"Will you be attending?" Lupin asked.
He shrugged, picking up the tea cup. "It is solely dependent on what the main focus is and whether or not I'm able to travel. I do start teaching next year and that makes attending near impossible save for the few weeks during the holidays, Dumbledore's permission and finding a suitable substitute notwithstanding." The air gained a strange weight as he took a long drink. The silence that had fallen remained as he placed the cup back on its saucer and he looked to the other men, raising an eyebrow. After a moment he prompted, "Anything else?"
"So that was it?" Black asked. "You got hired at a MAGE Expo?"
"Not quite." He plucked a new packet of paper off the coffee table and sat back. He met Black's gaze. "She encouraged me to apply to IPPA's Development of Technologies and Magics department once I had my Mastery but I never did."
"Why?"
He gave the man a flat look. "The war had just begun and I was already branded a Death Eater. While I was trying to stay alive under his reign, the rest of my time was spent working as a Potions Master at the Ministry or for other institutes like St. Mungo's."
"Severus," he looked to the werewolf, "did you ask IPPA or Madam Gold for help?"
He shook the pages straight; belatedly he noted they hadn't needed it. "I was not about to jump through the insanity of IPPA regulations and delay hiding Harry."
Lupin and Black shared a look over his head.
"So that's it?" Black questioned, sounding annoyed. "You don't actually apply for the job and instead ask the head of the company for a favor?"
Annoyance rolled through him. "I still work for IPPA. Just like any other organization, they outsource for skills and resources they don't have. The Dreamless Sleep Draught project is organized and sponsored by IPPA despite the work happening at the Ministry. At the end of the day, it is IPPA, not the Ministry, that pays me." This time he didn't care that the pages were already straight. He snapped the stack again as he glared at the pages rather than Black. "And I asked Madam Gold for a favor because we have worked together before and I could trust her to be discreet."
"Some favor," Black muttered before turning the conversation to something Severus had no desire to participate in.
Somehow the weeks slid by under his nose and the day of the hearing arrived far quicker than he cared for. He found himself wide awake two hours before his alarm with no desire to try and go back to the fitful sleep he'd come out of. An hour later, he jumped when a hand landed on his bicep. The mug of cold coffee had somehow managed to hold his unfocused attention so absolutely that he hadn't heard Black leave the second bedroom. The man looked as sleep deprived as he felt. Black gave him a sheepish look around the tired. "Sorry. Was trying to see if you wanted a fresh cup. You look like you could use coffee in your system rather than as a mirror."
He gave a huff of a laugh as he pushed the cold mug to Black but didn't comment. He knew the man was trying to ease his stress but there was no helping that. A fresh mug of coffee was placed before him on the bar top what had to have been minutes later but felt like seconds. Droplets of water clung to the side of the mug; Black must have rinsed it out before refilling it. Black's words drifted in with it. "Here." There was a pause before, "Think you could manage to eat something?"
He took a sip of the black coffee. He made a face at it. "I don't even want the coffee," he offered in lieu of an answer.
Black understood anyway. "Toast it is."
Black put the pieces of bread before him: two for him and two for Black, all of them golden brown. Black stood at the counter next to the sink and put grape jelly on both of his pieces. Severus picked up one of the plain pieces but only managed a small bite of the corner. Black sat down beside him once everything was put away and picked up a jelly-coated piece. "Do you know what you're wearing?" the man asked before taking a large bite.
He gave Black a dark look. He had done that the previous night in an attempt to sooth his nerves - it had done nothing of the sort. "Of course." It felt odd to just leave it there. "Do you?" he retaliated, words sharper than necessary.
Black shook his head, seemingly unbothered by his gruffness. "I haven't figured out if I want to wear the green shirt or the red one. I'd much prefer the red one but it's the wrong shade of red. I do have a blue one that's a better shade and it's a better style than the green one but I'm not sure if I want to pass up the opportunity to make a statement."
"A statement?" he found himself asking over the rim of his mug, mildly interested. It wasn't like coaxing him to talk was making Severus's mental state any worse and for whatever reason the man beside him was making small talk all on his own.
"Yeah, a Gryffindor showing up in Slytherin colors," Black chimed happily, striking some pose with half eaten toast still in hand.
He snorted, putting his mug down. Gryffindors. "If it was that blue shirt Lupin washed last week, I suggest the blue one. I'd rather not cause half of the audience to have heart attacks because you walk in looking like the Slytherin you were supposed to be."
Black shoved at him with no real force, grinning. "Spoilsport. Taking away the only fun I'll have all day."
Severus shook his head as he picked up his other piece of toast. "You asked my opinion and that is my opinion. Last I checked, you are free to make whatever stupid decisions you want. Just don't associate yourself with me when they blow up in your face."
Black laughed at that. It wasn't loud - if he had to guess, Harry and Lupin were still both sound asleep - but it was full and for whatever reason eased some of the tension he was bearing. "Sweet." The man took a long swig of coffee before asking, "What about you? What are you wearing?"
He swallowed the bite in his mouth and chased it with coffee before he answered. "My Potions Master robes. A show of my usefulness if they keep me out of Azkaban."
That immediately dampened the lighthearted mood Black had managed to create.
Black touched his arm and he was proud when he managed to suppress the flinch. Severus met the man's gaze as Black shifted forward on the barstool. "You're not going to Azkaban, Severus," Black informed him with such certainty, Severus could almost believe him.
"We'll see," he said instead, refusing to give into the Gryffindor hope.
During the hours up to the hearing time felt like it dragged but as he stood before the doors to the courtroom, it felt like that mundane conversation over toast and coffee had happened mere moments prior. Dumbledore stood at his side in violently purple and yellow robes, a stark opposite to the Potions Master robes that were predominantly black accented with white, gold, and silver. The contrast between them was dizzying.
"Don't worry, my boy," Dumbledore assured him. "Everything will work out in the end."
"What is it with Gryffindors and their blind faith?" he muttered in turn, agitated.
Dumbledore smiled as the doors opened. "What else is there to do but take a leap of faith?"
His tongue remained lead in his mouth at the sight of the full room, destroying any chance he had at responding.
Shock. He was fairly certain he was in shock as he stepped out of that horrible room. They had read off the charges against him and given him a sentence that had frozen him down to his core. Even Dumbledore's pleading on his behalf seemed feeble in comparison and would amount to nothing as his sentence was discussed and then voted on.
He had been let go by one vote in his favor.
Someone was calling for him. He hadn't actually heard anything but he knew someone had said his name. He looked around unsure if it would do any good. The hallway was still full as some of the audience rotated out. Movement at the edge of his peripheral countered the ebb and flow of the crowd around him and he looked over, drawn to see as he was certain someone called for him again.
Black was practically jogging towards him with a grin on a paled face; the blue shirt was vibrant against that paled skin, a contrast to the sleeveless robe of green velvet that looked almost black. He clamped down on his control, forcing his body steady as the other man came to a stop just within reach. He was too tightly wound to flinch when Black's hands grasped at his upper arms. There was a vague sense of confusion when Black didn't let go. It was easy to know the touch was purposeful but he couldn't figure out to what extent. There was no joking in the other's expression and the grip was firm with intent. Maybe Black was just as unsteady as he was and simply seeking some sort of stability.
If it was stability Black needed, he was looking for it in the wrong place. Severus wasn't even sure how he was still standing at that point. He couldn't even hear the man's voice despite clearly seeing Black's mouth move.
The world moved without his consent and when it settled, he found his face pressed into Black's chest. That confusion wasn't vague anymore. A part of him wanted to recoil, to shove the other away but it couldn't gain any traction as he realized what Black was doing. The conflict in his own thoughts drowned out the world as his body reacted without his permission, seeking what Black was willingly giving.
Outside the courtroom where his life as he knew it had nearly ended, Severus had a death grip on the back of Black's robes as the man held him just as tight. It was the first real hug he had received in far too long and he hated how desperately he needed it.
When Black took a step back, Severus was surprised his legs remained under him. "Come on," Black coaxed as the noise of the hallway grew again. Another session must be letting out. "Let's get back home before someone tries to talk to us for three hours about the weather."
The lame joke coaxed a halfhearted huff of a chuckle out of him as he gladly fell into step beside Black. They wound their way through the Ministry and despite knowing he would be back eventually, he was looking forward to being home and not seeing those halls again until he had to.
The weeks up to the last day of December were a blur.
A large portion of those weeks were filled with Black and Lupin touring potential homes and neither man had let Severus avoid it. After viewing what felt like a staggering number of houses across the small handful of communities in the Americas, Black and Lupin settled on one in the blended community associated with IPPA's North American Headquarters. Despite them dragging him along, it had surprised him when it had been his input that had tipped the scale for the given home. As much as he understood it was per their agreement, it was still very much Black and Lupin's home, not his.
On top of the move, Severus suddenly had to scramble to be prepared to teach the coming spring semester - Slughorn wasn't returning after winter break and Severus didn't care enough to know why. It quickly became apparent that Black was shit when it came to helping him prep but Lupin was the miracle he needed. Severus would have been fine preparing on his own - probably - but Lupin kept him from getting too overwhelmed with everything he had to do, not that it stopped a few bouts of him muttering curses at an absent Dumbledore. Black was good at making sure the two of them ate and keeping an eye on Harry during the thick of it between house viewings.
The last day of December was cold and overcast but the flat was as warm as it always was. Severus stood with Harry on his hip, slowly running his fingers through the boy's hair as he watched Lupin and Black double check their list. Idly his thoughts went to the letter that had arrived earlier that day. He had left it on his desk to deal with later but it pulled at him, especially since he knew what it contained and he wanted to sign it and be done with it as soon as possible. He would have to see if Phillip could get him in over the next three days. Best to get that dealt with as soon as possible as well.
"Looks like we're good to go," Lupin finally announced, tucking the slip of paper into an inner pocket. The man's words drew him back to center. "You sure you're ok with not coming with us, Severus?"
He nodded, passing Harry off to Black. The boy whined in protest but didn't actually fight them. Severus carded his hand through Harry's hair one last time as he reminded them both, "I am not following you two across the ocean only to come back. I have too much work to do before I relocate to Hogwarts to spend numerous days traveling."
Amusement and something that looked almost like disappointment pulled a soft smile to Lupin's face. "If you're sure." Lupin looked to Black. "Ready?"
"More or less."
Severus rolled his eyes, amusement and annoyance carrying in his words. "Get going, you two, or you will be late."
"Yeah, yeah," Black responded, picking up one of the bags in his free hand.
Severus opened the door, allowing the man to slip by but Lupin paused just over the threshold with the other bags. Those light brown eyes met his gaze, expression unreadable. "We'll see you soon."
"Eventually," he surmised, not willing to actually commit to anything.
"Take care, Severus."
He watched them leave. Harry held his gaze over Black's shoulder until they turned the corner and were out of sight. He remained on the doorstep for a moment longer than necessary before stepping back into the quiet flat. There was some relief having the space all to himself again but he knew it would be odd for the rest of the day. Not that it mattered; tomorrow when he exited the flat, he would not be returning. His other place was closer to his work until he started at Hogwarts.
"So you didn't tell them."
He pulled his gaze from the window to look at Phillip. The man was rapidly tapping a pen to the top of his notebook but there was no judgment in the other's expression. The man was mostly curious and the tapping unconscious. "There is no need for them to know," he stated simply.
The pen stilled. "Why?"
His gaze hardened. "Because they don't need to know. They know enough."
"But you are looking to stay in Harry's life."
"That is the intent."
Phillip pointed the pen at him as the man talked with his hands. "Then wouldn't it be beneficial to inform them just what you've agreed to?"
"No."
Phillip snorted. Severus glared at him. "No, you're right. That was unprofessional," the man agreed, though the smile was still very present on the man's face. "But you do have to admit how amusing it is that you are choosing to be stubborn about this aspect of your life after having opened your own home to them." He didn't give Phillip the satisfaction of a response. The other man sighed, asking instead. "Can we at least be willing to admit you are being stubborn about this?"
"I can leave," Severus threatened.
"You can," Phillip agreed, a knowing glint in the man's eyes, "but you won't. You never do." The man raised an eyebrow, an unspoken challenge hanging in the air between them.
Severus only glared at the man. He was not doing this. Oh, he was very aware of the fact that even if he walked out of that office, he would be back for their next session as was expected of him. The contract he had signed had been explicit about its requirements concerning mental health; sessions with a therapist had to happen regularly. The only way he had gotten away with it for the last two months was because-
"When will you receive the new contract?" Phillip asked, bringing the silence to an end.
"It arrived the same day they left."
"And?"
He raised an eyebrow. "And what?"
Phillip rolled his eyes but some form of excitement remained in the man's expression. "Did you have any qualms with it? Concerns?" That knowing glint returned. "Annoyances?"
His expression flattened. "There was nothing in there I was not already privy to, so no. I signed and returned it that same afternoon."
The surprise in the man's expression was subtle. "And you're sure you don't want to inform Black or Lupin of its contents?"
"Very."
That only caused concern to pull at Phillip's expression. "Severus, I know what was in that contract. Madam Gold made sure I saw it and the original version she had broken for you back on November 3rd. I know the differences and what exactly you signed up for. If you truly want to be part of Harry's life, that means you have to afford his guardians some fair warning should things go awry. There will come a time when you are needed."
"And when the time comes they need to know, I will inform them. Until then, there is no need for them to know."
"Severus-"
He cut in before the man could get going again. "Enough. Wasting what little time we have left on something that will not change will serve no one. I would much rather utilize the time than needlessly waste it."
Surprise filled Phillip's expression. "Well this is a first. I take it you have something specific you want to talk about?"
Severus turned the topic to the chaos of teaching prep, ranting about Dumbledore for a good amount of the remaining time.
The sharp sound of squealing children greeted him as he stepped foot in the gymnasium. He could make out Black in among a swarm of children at the far end and a sneer pulled across his face for a moment; Lupin was near the door at one of the tables with his own small gaggle of children, another parent two chairs away helping keep tabs on those eating. All of the children had a plate before them, most slowly eating as they were enraptured by the story Lupin was reading to them. There were a number of other parents mingling and entertaining small groups of children but he didn't recognize any of them.
Harry was among the gaggle sitting before Lupin enjoying a plate of grapes as he listened to Lupin's story. The boy's attention was on him at the same time he spotted Harry and from one instance to the next, Harry was running over to him, delight on the small boy's face. Severus scooped the boy up, hefting the now three-year-old onto his hip. The boy happily hugged him, forehead pressed against his neck.
"Severus," Lupin greeted, approaching. A glance showed the other parent had taken over the story. "Glad you were able to make it."
He passed Lupin one of the bags in his other hand. "I had made a promise to make an appearance; though it had not been my intention to be so late."
"Work?" Lupin asked, placing the bag on the food table.
The sneer returned briefly. "Unfortunately. The imbeciles at the Ministry are doing their best to blow themselves and the rest of the building up as quickly and as ferociously as possible."
Lupin chuckled. "We're just entertaining the kids at this point so you are more than welcome to stay for as long as you want and then either go to the house or return to London."
Harry's arms tightened around his neck but he gave no sign that he noticed. "I'll see how long I can tolerate the snot nosed brats before heading to the house. I am not returning to London until I absolutely have to."
That piqued Lupin's interest. "That's good to hear. I'm sure Harry's very happy to have you around for more than a random weekend once a month." The man gently tickled said boy, gaining a string of giggles, but the boy kept his face against Severus's neck. "And I'm sure Sirius will appreciate having someone else watch over him while he works. Do you know when you are heading back?"
"The 23rd if you two don't kick me out sooner."
Black's voice joined the conversation as the man approached, joking, "And I was just getting used to you being gone." The man grinned at him when he gave the other a flat look. "We're not overly prepared for your mooching so we'll have to do a grocery run either today or tomorrow."
The gaggle Black had left behind swarmed the three men destroying any opportunity for Severus to return the slight with one of his own. Severus quickly extracted himself from the swarm. The other children - those that had been eating and the scattered few that had been entertaining themselves or with other parents - quickly joined the swarm as Black started announcing something Severus didn't care to listen to. He knelt, sitting Harry in the boy's chair at the table. Little hands refused to let go but he carefully reached back and undid the boy's grip. "You cannot open your gift if you are clinging to me."
The comment didn't seem to sooth whatever worry the boy had but Harry didn't try grabbing for him when he released those small hands. He placed the remaining bag on the floor and pulled out a neatly wrapped gift. The wrapping paper was yellow with different, mostly green cartoon dinosaurs printed on it. He tapped the paper with his wand, activating the charm. The dinosaurs started to move about and Harry watched transfixed. One of the predators stopped to look up at Harry, giving off a silent roar as a few of the other dinosaurs pulled a banner across the paper with 'Happy Birthday Harry' written in crayon. The images stilled as the banner came to center, the patterned paper relatively unchanged except for the small square around the banner. Harry ran his fingers over the banner and surrounding dinosaurs.
Brilliantly green eyes looked up at him, searching his face. The hand splayed over the banner patted the paper.
He reached forward and Harry's hand snatched away from the gift. Severus double tapped the predator dinosaur that was still looking at Harry. "Roaring dinosaur," he spoke and as he drew his hand back, the predator dinosaur roared again as those around the banner waved.
Harry's face lit up and the boy mimicked his tapping, muttering, "Roaring dinosaur," with impressive clarity. Harry bounced in his chair, excitement pulling a squeal that went unnoticed by everyone else. Harry pressed his hand back over the banner, a massive smile on his face when he looked back up at Severus.
Severus gave a breathy chuckle before pointing out, "You do realize your gift is inside the fancy paper." Harry's gaze returned to the paper but instead of that delight remaining, Severus watched the boy's expression morph into something that confused and concerned him. Certainly the prospect of a gift was a good thing so why was the boy upset? For a moment, he didn't understand until he noticed Harry running a hand over the banner and the surrounding dinosaurs, predator dinosaur included. "Harry," he coaxed. The boy didn't look up at him but he did still. "Look at me."
Ever since he had pulled the boy from the Potter's ruined home, Harry had a strange aversion to looking at people. Or he stared. There was no in between and though Severus never quite understood why, he had noticed that if he gave the boy time, Harry would look at him. He wondered if Black or Lupin had noticed.
Harry's gaze met his, pulling him out of his thoughts.
"Do you want help undoing the paper so that it doesn't tear?"
The boy shoved the gift towards him, bouncing in his seat as he did so. There wasn't much change in Harry's expression but Severus knew that would happen once the boy had the unwrapped gift in hand. He sat down on the gymnasium floor before taking the gift. "Do you want me to show you how to undo the paper carefully?" This time he gained a nod. "Then you need to sit in my lap. It will be harder to see from there."
Harry was out of the chair and in his lap before he finished talking, curling up against his chest and stomach seeking comfort more than instruction. He buried his free hand in Harry's hair. It was an awkward one arm hug but Harry didn't seem to care. He relaxed into it, settling against Severus calmer than the moment before. He placed the package in Harry's lap. "We'll start with the end," he directed, letting the boy do all the work as he guided those small hands among the folds of the paper.
Black had been just as excited about the gift as Harry had been upon opening it, which meant that by the time they were winding down from dinner, the man was sitting at the coffee table with Harry helping put together the different balsa wood dinosaurs.
"Work or something else?" Lupin asked, joining him at the island. They could hear Harry chatting away, a string of dinosaur facts that didn't seem to have an end coming from the three-year-old.
He consolidated his mess, making room for the other at the counter and the two cups of tea the man had brought over. "Minor paperwork that can wait." A lie, but Lupin didn't need to know that. He pulled his cup closer. "I had not realized Harry had so many friends."
"He doesn't." A glance at the other confirmed the concern in Lupin's voice. "Sirius invited Harry's entire class because it was a good excuse to entertain. Gave me the chance to meet some of the parents only Sirius has interacted with."
Severus raised an eyebrow at that, lowering his cup. "What did Harry say about the large party?"
Lupin chuckled at that. "Not much. He gave us a nod confirming that he was ok with it but that was about it. Never said anything for or against it in the weeks leading up to it. Even heard from Sirius that the other kids seemed more excited for Harry's party than Harry." Some of the man's amusement ebbed. "But, then, Harry has always been a bit calmer compared to the other kids. Quieter."
"He's not quiet now," Severus pointed out.
Lupin actually laughed at that. "Oh he'll talk your ear off if you give him the opportunity to. Dinosaurs have been the main focus for six months now; he's been handling the long, complicated names surprisingly well for his age. I meant in general. He had been invited to one of the other kid's birthday parties two weeks ago and part of the day had been spent at the museum. He seemed more excited to see the dinosaur exhibits than the actual party but even then he barely talked." Severus frowned at that, gaining a soft smile from the other. "He gave the initial bouncing and squealing that was expected upon reaching the museum but once we entered, he barely made a peep. The other kids were loud and rambunctious, quickly growing bored with the exhibits. Harry, though, was content to wander them and have me read the displayed information for each exhibit."
"Did he hang out with any of the other children?"
"There were a few that actively sought him out and dragged him off but, of his own volition, I don't think so. But, then, I was only there for the museum. Sirius met us at the second party location so that I could go to work but he never said anything about it afterwards."
Their conversation was interrupted by tiny feet smacking against the hardwood and they both looked towards the sound. Harry came barreling in with one of the balsa wood dinosaurs held tight against his chest beaming. Sirius was following after carrying the other two.
"I'm surprised he managed to make all three of them so quickly," Lupin commented twenty minutes later, Harry asleep upstairs with the three models proudly displayed on his dresser.
Black laughed at that, settling at the other end of the couch Severus was occupying. "Not sure that counted as quick, Moony. It took us nearly four hours to put those things together." Severus gave the feet resting on his thigh a flat look before pushing the man's legs away. Black grinned at him but shifted to prop his feet up on the coffee table instead. "So, what big project do we have to thank for your presence over the next few weeks? Anything interesting?"
He brought his glass of firewhiskey to his lips. "Am I not allowed to simply take a holiday?"
Silence met his statement. He took a slow sip of his drink, watching as the men shared a look.
It wasn't until his glass touched the end table again that Black spoke. "Well, you are."
"Why here?" Lupin inquired, his voice lacking the disbelief Black's had been filled with. "You never seemed particularly fond of staying here over the last year and a half."
He waved off the men's worry. "This house is far more preferred than a school full of children, the company within less so."
Black snorted at that. "So you've been more avoiding us than the house."
Severus gave the man a flat look, pleased the idiot took the bait. "While Lupin I can tolerate, it's the mangy mutt that I can't stand."
Black glared right back but there was a smirk on the other man's face and he wasn't surprised when the heel of the man's left foot connected with his thigh again. There was no real force behind the kick but he still swatted at Black's ankle for the act. "Asshole."
Severus raised an eyebrow at him, deadpanning, "My point."
Black snorted a laugh.
"If there's anything you need for your stay, Severus, just mention it, even if that's the house to yourself for a day or two," Lupin spoke up, amused. "There are a number of muggle and wixen shops around so we shouldn't have a problem acquiring what you may need. Alone time, less so."
He made a vague gesture. "Had I wanted solitude, I would have stayed in London. I am here fully expecting Harry to obliterate any chance of peace for the entirety of my stay. I made my decision because of that expectation. It has been far too long since I've spent time with the boy. As for your other concern, I brought what I needed from Hogwarts. And unless someone-" he gave Black a pointed look- "has gone through my room as of late and destroyed my property," Black gave him a cheeky grin clearly still not regretting that particular prank, "I should still have plenty here as well."
"He's been kept on a short leash," Lupin assured him, gaining a squawk of outcry from Black at the jab.
"Not you too, Moony," Black all but whined.
Lupin gave Black a mildly surprised look. "I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about, Padfoot."
Severus snorted at Black's groaning, the grown man slumping further into the couch. With every flare of dramatics the man could muster in the horribly slouched position, Black threw his arms up, declaring with barely contained laughter, "Betrayed! By my only friend! Snape I expected but you, Remus? How could you?"
It had been a joke, a jest, yet even as he gave a low chuckle at it, the words seemed to reach deep within and tug at things he had buried for good reason. His amusement vanished immediately and it was all he could do to keep his expression neutral and light. He reached for his glass again trying to solely focus on it and the conversation that continued without him but it did nothing to counter the growing noise in his head.
Memories that had no right seeing the light of day again were suddenly in his face, dragging his attention away from the conversation. Not even the burn of the remaining alcohol in his glass worked.
Because Black was right. He would betray them. He had already betrayed them, had betrayed them in so many ways it was criminal. Why either man was even allowing him near Harry was beyond him.
Something heavy landed on his thigh just above his knee and the hand holding his glass recoiled as if to grab for his wand. His entire body went rigid as he met Black's gaze. The man's face was a good foot away but it felt as if the man had pinned him to a wall. Black was half kneeling on the cushion that had been between them, one hand on Severus's leg, the other on the back of the couch for stability. The man started talking before Severus could manage his normal sneer.
"Hey. That wasn't-" The pause in the words was sharp. "I didn't mean it like that, Severus," the man urged. "We trust you."
He couldn't get his expression to return to neutral, his heart still pounding in his chest. "If you say so."
Hurt flickered across Black's expression quickly replaced by anger. "Of course I say so!" the man barked. "You've done everything in your power to help Harry and not once has it put his life or ours in danger." He waited for the 'yet' to be added but it never came and he watched as some of the anger died on Black's face. "You have not betrayed us."
The desire to counter Black's words nearly broke through his control. He wanted to yell, to scream at them both to leave him behind already. They thought he wouldn't betray them when he was the one that had practically handed Lily and Potter over to the Dark Lord by repeating a partial prophecy after all he had done to mend the bridge between him and Lily. He had betrayed Black and Lupin in so many ways so many times and they would never know - not until it was too late - and they would never believe his warnings no matter how hard he screamed. Gryffindors trusted blindly and the Slytherin in him raged at the notion.
"Alright," he offered instead, the word clipped and tight as he looked away to set his glass back down.
He pretended to busy himself with something on the end table so that he didn't have to see whatever flickered over Black's face. It didn't matter anyways; this arrangement was temporary and neither man was going to change that. He would make it temporary so that they couldn't be betrayed by him. He wouldn't do that to Harry a second time.
For a breath, no one else moved. The touch on his leg left but he felt the slight shift in the cushions telling him Black hadn't moved back to his original spot. Instead, the man settled on the cushion that had been between them, sitting close enough that he could feel the heat coming from Black's thigh despite the inches between them. He hated it, hated how he read far too much into it, assuming things of Black's close proximity that weren't real.
Black trusted him and showed that by remaining close; Black was comforting him after an error the other man had made. Both were lies and he knew it. Gryffindors never care about Slytherins.