A/N: Hey, I am not too fond of this chapter, but it rather necessary for further chapters...sorry! Well, please scroll down for your reading pleasures as I present to you chapter nine of
The Diary of Two Weasleys, a Potter, and a Granger
Sept. 7 - 5:30 PM- Hermione
Today is both a day of great pleasure and of great sorrow. See, I am Head Girl, a dream come true, but Neville Longbottom was given the task of Head Boy. See, this is good and bad. It is good because Neville has never had a special job, but this is bad because the Head Boy and Head Girl always end up dating. EW! I cannot see myself snogging Neville in the Astronomy Tower! Well, I am sorry, but I have seen his toothbrush. He over-uses it. Well, anyway, I am so happy because I am back at Hogwarts, but I am really sad because this is my last year here. Anyway, I just got into the Great Hall and sat down with Ron, who was straddling the bench, as was I, and I leaned backward and put my head on his chest while McGonagall was sorting the first years and explaining about the forbidden forest. She then asked Harry and Ginny to come to the front of the room, because she wanted to talk to them and the feast began. Ron and I shared a plate of food, and then I led the first years up to the common room. Then, when I came back downstairs to walk up with Ron, he took my hand and scooped me up, one of his hands under my arms and the other behind my knees, it was incredibly romantic...but it could not have prepared me for what happened next. He took me to a broom cupboard, and closed the door. I leaned in to kiss him, but he put me down to my feet and put both of my hands into both of his, the extremely childish and gay (A/N: Like gay as in happy, not gay as in two men, sickos!) atmosphere suddenly became tense and sad. I knew what was happening and, so I put my fingers on his lips, then removed them and kissed him...then I told him to go on. He told me that he felt as though we weren't going anywhere and that we soul see other people. Every time I tried to ask why...he would just respond with"That's how its supposed to be."
Merlin I hate being single. So, I slapped him in the face, hexed him in the balls, and ran crying from the cupboard, locking it so that he couldn't get out. I am about to go get some butterbeer and chocolate from Hogsmeade and wash away my pain and agony.
Hermione
Sept 7- 7:00 PM- Ron
I am such an idiot. I broke up with two girls today. I didn't want to, but I had to. I wanted a girl to snog with me in the library or behind the counter at the pub or in a toilet stall, and My Mione (A/ N : That's Ron's newest nickname for Hermione because she is/was his girlfriend, so, instead of calling her Her Mione, her calls her My Mione) didn't want to, so I went out and found a snog-worthy girl who would …… and that snog-worthy girl just happened to be Lavender. Lavender knew that I had been dating My Mione and told me that she didn't care being the second and secret woman in my life, but I couldn't stand hurting My Mione anymore. So, on the train, I broke up with Lavender, who didn't really care because she told me she was dating Dean as well as me. Not a big deal. Anyway, My Mione ate at the feast in the Great Hall with me, and then went to go take the first year Gryffindors upstairs. She told me to wait for her and that she would walk up with me. Harry and Ginny were walking, hand in hand, and following Professor McGonagall to the Trophy Room, so they could have a little chat. So, I sat down ... again... and pulled out my newest copy of Whitchy Whores Magazine and bewitched it to look like I was reading FLYING WITH THE CHUDDLEY CANONS again, which I need to do. Suddenly, a school owl swooped down and dropped a letter in front of me. It read:
"Dear Mr. Ronald Arthur Weasley,
I know your little secret. I know that you have been dating Lavender Brown and Hermione Granger at the same time. If you don't break up with Hermione and be single, I will send you an envelope full of bubotor puss and make sure to put some on your "manhood" while you are asleep. BLOODY IDIOTIC DAMN BITCH!"
Then another owl came down and dropped a Howler, which burst open and screamed,
"DON'T FORGET WHAT I SAID BASTARD. YOUR MANHOOD'S AT STAKE!" and then it burst into flames. So, I acted normal when My Mione got back, but I knew what I had to do...my manhood was at stake here, so I took her to a broom closet and dumped her. I am so pathetic, aren't I? Well, you satanic Diary, you wouldn't have done any different would you? I mean, come on, she couldn't date me if I had lost my manhood. Well, I am going to go find My Mione. OH MERLIN! I just realized something. I can't call her My Mione anymore, because she isn't mine. I will have to start calling her Her Mione again.
Ron
Sept. 8 - Noon- Hermione
Ooooooooooooooooooh! I am so hung over. O Merlin. Anyway, when I said I was going to get butterbeer, I lied; I wanted something to knock me out, so I got 10 bottles of Firewhiskey, and drank 5 of them, or maybe it was more than five. Well, at least five. I remember Neville finding me in the common room, finishing up bottle number five...or was it six...or four...or twelve? Anyway, he caught me finishing up a bottle and took them from me and threw them out. Then I yelled at him, and he went to go get Ginny, Harry, and Ron. I told him to leave Ron out of this, so, he went to go get Harry and Ginny. Harry picked me up the same way Ron had picked me up earlier, and took me into his and Ginny's room. Ginny conjured a bucket and a cot, and Harry laid me onto it. Then, I passed out. Ginny told Harry that she would go sleep in my bed, so I wouldn't get into trouble and have my Head Girl privileges taken away. Harry was rather uncomfortable being alone in a room with a drunk me, but Ginny told him he would be okay and then kissed him. He told her goodnight, and she went to my bed. Harry charmed the room, so no one could hear me puking during the night, and went to bed. Now, I am so hung over. I think, once it's gone, I will ask Neville out. I mean he cared enough about me to go get Harry and Ginny instead of McGonagall. And he''s very sweet and hardworking. And he is very brave when he has to be, like when we were fighting the Death-Eaters last year, and when we were fighting them in the Department of Mysteries, and in our very first year here, when we were only 11, and he tried to stop us from going to the 3rd floor where the stone was. Wow, that brings back memories. It seems like it was just a while ago when we first stepped though those doors and saw the enchanted ceiling that is so boringly familiar to us now. Of course, I knew that it was enchanted after having just read Hogwarts: A History. Well, Neville told Ron, who came in with Ginny. Ron had a huge box of Honeyduke's chocolate and I puked some more when he told me he had gotten it for me.
Then I screamed at him, "You dirty lying bastard! Leave me alone!" and began to sob. Ginny fixed my ponytail and came to sit beside me, telling Ron and Harry to go to Ron's room.
Hermione
Harry - Sept. 8 - two o'clock PM
Ron is the biggest idiot I have ever met. I can''t believe it. He just told me everything he did: dating Lavender behind Hermione's back and breaking up with both of them. I can't believe him. I can't blame Hermione for hating him. Well, I want to go check on Hermione and get Ginny, who has a cheese grater from when she visited Hermione's family that she brought with her, and I think she wants to castrate Ron with it. I truly don't care is she does. :-P Gotta go hold Hermione's hair while she hurls some more! TABOO!
Harry