Summary: Post 6x18. She went to see him, they kissed, but there's nothing to say if the line is dead.
Disclaimer: Don't own. Don't sue. Deal?
A/N: I know it's a little late for post 6x18 stories but I couldn't hold this inspiration that came to me. So here it is, a one shot about the lovely/stupid/that I didn't really like episode when Rory and Jess kissed after….many years.
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When he sent the invitation his heart started to beat faster and faster at the thought of her silhouette, her face, her eyes, it wasn't his fault that his nerves failed every time her existence came up. He didn't send any subliminal message with this invitation, it was a simple invitation for his open house. Right? He didn't even expect her to show up just to see him, but she did, she drove miles away from Connecticut just to see him.
Her presence made him tense, but he didn't show it because simply he wasn't a teenager anymore, and of course neither was she. Where did she get all this confidence? Now she is able to stand up for herself and speak directly at him, she looks him in the eye without hesitation, and he doesn't see that spark of naivety and shame she always had when he looked at him.
He didn't notice when people leaved, time pasted quickly and they were finally alone in the room.
They talked, he still doesn't remember what about but he is sure there were some words in there, crossing the thick air making them closer and closer until the gap closed.
The rush of blood made its way to his head, heart, lungs, every part of his being and he felt like dying. The fire that it was supposed to be extinct was there, burning their flesh more than ever, making them wish the cloths weren't there. Unluckily for him, she broke the kiss, apparently feeling ashamed again and all he could do was asked her what was wrong, but she was rambling about how stupid she was, that she shouldn't have come in the first place or kiss him.
Now the feeling of dying wasn't good like when they kissed, it transformed into a bullet burning in his heart, did he heard right? Did she just say that she regretted?
He stayed there without saying a word waiting for her to make up her mind about this, their kiss. Was it finally another mistake in their long list of errors? Or was it just an 'I am happy to see you, that's all'? But he was sure of one thing; he wasn't going to poured his heart out, not again and definitely not for her. He was tired of pretending and tired of her always rejecting him, he got it the last time she doesn't feel the same for him. But how can he make his heart understand that? How he can erase a feeling so strong like the one he feels? He didn't dare to call it love anymore; he was still hurt and afraid of rejection, and it wasn't very jess-like to show it around so he hides it deep down.
After a few tears and sniffs that he didn't really saw or heard, she left for good leaving him alone. Did she promise to call him soon? Did she say 'see you soon'? Or was it all his imagination? Why on earth did she want to keep in touch with this wrecked boy? He might change his appearance, he might change the lead of his life, but he was destined to be a wreck when it came to love. Why was so hard for him to make a balance in life? Just happiness, why was that so hard to reach?
But he didn't know how stupid Rory felt at the second she left his house, the few tears became into a choking in her own sobs and she made her way to the car as good as she her body allowed her to. There was a burning feeling in her stomach that made her sick. A mix of guilt, pleasure and sadness invaded her like a wave, she didn't want to pretend anymore but she had to. All because of the rich blond kid that "stole her heart" with his charm, was it even true? Or her grandma said it on one of their dinners and she used it to convince herself? She didn't want to ruin his life, not again, but all he did was nod to this lame explanation. She was being sincere with him trying to make him understand that maybe, just maybe they weren't for each other. She didn't say love, she didn't say 'I'm sorry', she didn't say 'I regret this' but it was implied and she hated herself for that, for making him once again weak before her eyes.
How could he be in love after all those years? Why doesn't he hate her for saying 'no' to his run-away proposal? Why did he had to come back and thank her, (thank her!) for making him stronger? She didn't deserve him but she wanted him so bad that she would give her life to make disappear all those obstacles that were on their way, and the list was long as hell. Did she could make aside all of that? Of course she could but she was weak and she admitted, she would never take the risk of jumping into the black hole like Alice, she wasn't the kind of person that follows the white rabbit twice, because that was him and all his being, this big black unknown hole. You never knew what to expect.
She is miles away from him, where the instinct of turning back was quite dead, so she calls and the phone rings a few times before his voice comes up into the line. She doesn't respond immediately, she stays quiet and all she manages to say before he hangs up is "Let's pretend"
A/N: I don't know if you liked it so tell me! Please? Leave a review. Oh! And BTW was it too short? Sorry for grammar mistakes or phrases that doesn't make any sense, it's late and I'm sleepy.
