This is Strong Sad's computer desk. Everything about it says "Strong Sad's computer desk," from the pile of CD's by such bands as Thursday and Jimmy Eat World (the earlier albums of course), to the notebook neatly placed to the side with a pageful of notes onJean-Paul Sartre's No Exit, to the label right above it reading "Strong Sad's computer desk." In fact, you wouldn't even need to see the computer to know it was Strong Sad's computer desk, except then it wouldn't be a computer desk, would it? There is one of his ubiquitous posters of The Cure on the wall to the side of it, and his iPod is plugged in and charging.
Right now Strong Sad is sitting down at the computer. He scoots his chair back and turns on the monitor, and his desktop appears: it's Yuji from Blue Gender and his giant robot. Unlike his brother, Strong Sad's computer does not use a command-line interface: it is a Mac. "Oh," says Strong Sad, "looks like it's time to check my email." As always, he speaks slowly and in a high-pitched voice, like a fourth-grader whose entire life has consisted of the moment when he learns that his crush doesn't like him back, but stretched out into years and years.
He clicks on the icon for his email program, and up pops a login box that reads "HR Mail! c. 1997 Edgarsoft Inc." Strong Sad fills in the username and password fields—and while a series of stars masks his exact password, it is clearly seven characters long and notable for its resigned pessimism.
"I wonder if I have any email today," Strong Sad says. He presses 'enter.'
The login screen is replaced with the message "Connecting to email server…" A progress bar underneath fills with blue.
The bar fills and dissolves. Strong Sad's inbox appears in its place.
"You have no new messages," it says.
Strong Sad sighs.
"Oh, well," he says sadly. His big white head droops. "I guess nobody wanted to say anything to me." Then an idea strikes him, and he looks just a little less disappointed. "Well, as long as I've got my email open already, maybe someone will send me an email and it will go 'ding!' and tell me I have a new email in my inbox…" He stares off into space, then stares at the computer screen. "Not like I've got anything else big going…for the next half hour…"