Bubs' concession stand: a monument to relentless cutthroat entrepreneurialism, its brick-red brick façade strikes fear into the hearts of millions. Well, not really fear. More like an internal dispute as to whether that Hollerin' Jimmy's Hobby Kit is worth the fifteen-tooty-two that the concession man is asking for it. The correct answer is no, but you'll probably end up buying it anyway.
Bubs stands behind the counter, talking into a telephone receiver with a short frayed piece of string hanging from it. His brow is furrowed in sky-blue annoyance, and his voice is like a truck over gravel. "I know that, but what Ahm asking is how did it get into the bathroom?" He turns his attention from the phone as Strong Sad walks up to the counter. "I gotta go; I got a customer. But you can bet we'll talk about this later!"
He turns to Strong Sad. "Hey there, Strong Sad! What can I get for ya?"
"Hi, Bubs," Strong Sad says. "I'm following a three-step program to become more liked, and the second step is to 'ask the nearby guys for advice.' I thought you might be a suitably estimable individual in the eyes of the community to offer me some relevant guidance."
"What'chyou talkin' about, boy?" Bubs asks, pointing an orange flippery arm-thing at him menacingly. "Them's college words! You don't wanna be talkin' college to me, boy…"
"I'm sorry, it was just a slip of the tongue," Strong Sad says, remembering the last time he made the mistake of talking college with Bubs. "I need your advice on becoming more liked."
"Well, you're in luck! Today we're having a half-for-the-price-of-one sale on free advice! Lemme let you in on mah secret!"
Bubs leans across the counter. "It's easy to be liked, Strong Sad. All you gotta do is just give the peoples what they want!"
"What if you don't have what they want?" asks Strong Sad.
"Then you get what they want and you give it to 'em! It's as simple as that." Bubs folds his arms and grins. Bubs always grins. "Now that's a secret secret, so don't you go tellin' it to nobody else, or I'll have Strong Mad beat you over the head with How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie! Go on, there's peoples out there who want stuff!"
Away from the concession stand, Strong Sad records the new information on his checklist of Nearby Guys:
Strong Bad – no chance in the nine levels of hell
The Cheat – "meew mreh meemew riwr"
Strong Mad – unintelligible
Homsar – see above
The Poopsmith – not on speaking terms
The KoT – not popular
Bubs – "give the peoples what they want"
Homestar –
Pom Pom –
He looks at the blank by Homestar's name and puts the pen tip to his mouth. Everyone likes the Homestar Runner—after all, he is a terrific athlete—but Strong Sad now considers his subject's brainpower and wonders to what extent Homestar would actually possess any intelligent tips on popularity.
Strong Sad pauses, pen in mouth, then goes off to find Pom Pom.
When we next catch up to Strong Sad, he is standing out by the Stick, in the middle of a dialogue with Pom Pom. Pom Pom makes his characteristic effervescent sounds, and Strong Sad nods in response.
"Really?" Strong Sad asks. "That's the secret to popularity and happiness?"
Pom Pom makes a noise like an automatic back massager immersed in a bowl of jell-o.
"And the second half will just take care of itself?"
Pom Pom burbles.
"Wow. Thank you very much, Pom Pom," Strong Sad says. "When you put it that way, I'm surprised I didn't notice it before."
Pom Pom nods, makes bubbly sounds again, and begins bouncing away, as Strong Sad writes Pom Pom's words of wisdom down on his pad.
Step 2: Ask the Nearby Guys for Advice