Chapter 3: A Lap Dance!

Disclaimer: See chapter one.

A/N: Well, this one's a lot longer. Whoo. REVIEW! I'LL GIVE YOU MORE COOKIES!

"Alrighty then!" Dumbledore seemed oddly excited. After everyone who was still conscious had formed a circle, Dumbledore exclaimed, "Here goes nothing!"

He spun the bottle and everyone watched it as it landed on a very unhappy Tonks. "Okay then, Miss Tonks! When Remus comes to, you must give him a nice big smooch!"

Tonks looked taken aback by the Headmaster's choice of words, but relaxed as she heard Ginny giggling next to her. She smiled at the girl and said, nonchalantly, "Righto."

Dumbledore accepted that answer and handed the bottle along to Fred. Fred shakily took the bottle, thinking God please be Luna, please, just this once God. The first spin was rather clumsy, ending up smacking Tonks' knee. After much apologizing, he tried again. Calm down now, calm down. He spun. Everyone watched as the bottle slowed down and eventually rested on Luna. HOT DAWG! She was still staring off into space dreamily.

So while Fred and Luna were snogging in the corner, Harry noticed that George was beginning to stir. He leaned over him to make sure he was okay right as George's eyes cracked open. "Harry?" he mumbled softly.

Two simple little words entered Ginny's mind. Oh. Shit.

Ginny watched worriedly as George sat up, almost bumping into Harry's head in his haste. The elder Weasley was breathing quickly, and watching Harry's now smiling expression with an odd glint in his eye. Ginny put her head in her hands and sighed. This was going to be a long night.

Surprisingly enough, no one had yet noticed Ron's angry countenance as he watched his brother and girlfriend grope each other in the drawing room corner. It was only a dare, but they didn't have to go that far! And why did Fred give Luna such an obvious dare anyway? It was almost as if... Ron didn't want to think about it. What he did do was stomp over to the pair's corner, now garnering everyone's attention, and yanking the two apart. He helped Luna to her feet, and then Fred.

"That's good enough, I think." he said, glaring at his brother and uncomfortably aware of his blazing ears.

After the three had sat down in their previous spots and Ron's face had started to return to its normal coloring, Fred attempted to hand the bottle to George. The main problem was that George was too busy whispering something to Harry, who was still crouched in the spot behind Fred he had gone to when he saw George stir and turning a bright pink. So, to rectify the problem (and hopefully impress Luna) he whacked George in the stomach with the bottle, effectively knocking the wind out of him and regaining his brother's attention.

"Oof! What'd you do that for? Bloody wanker..." George mumbled as he used his eyes to follow Harry back to his original seat.

Fred interrupted him happily, "It's your turn to spin, since we skipped you when you were passed out!"

George grumbled some more as he spun the bottle, still watching the Boy Who Lived from the corner of his eye. The bottle landed on Ginny.

Ginny winced, another oh, shit passing through her mind in capital letters. George's grin was feral. He seemed to contemplate his dare thoughtfully, even ignoring his new found 'love' for the moment. He whispered something to Fred, who looked surprised for a moment before looking to his sister and smiling malevolently. Now Ginny was really worried.

At his twin's apparent consent, George leaned back on his hands, that grin open on his face. He flicked his wand at a phonograph on the sideboard, which started playing cheesy movie music, and said the worst turn of phrase she would ever hear directed at her.

"You have to give Professor Snape a lap dance."

Snape snapped to attention and snarled. "That's completely inappropriate!" He hissed, eyes narrowed in dislike at both of the twins.

"She's of age, Severus." Dumbledore said quietly. McGonagall looked murderous, but remained silent at Dumbledore's words.

George smiled. "Yeah, and if you or she refuses, I have the authority to do whatever I bloody well please to you. Which, in Ginny's case, would be I lock her in her room for three months with nothing to eat but chicken livers and in your case, with a swish of my wand, you'd be naked running through the house screaming, 'My banana's on fire!'".

Snape looked murderous, muttering inaudibly.

"Those are the rules, like 'em or not!" Fred and George smiled.

Snape scowled and hung his head in his hands. It seemed he had given up. Ginny was scared shitless. But the idea of getting locked in her room with the livers again was worse. She couldn't believe they were doing this to her. What had happened to brotherly protectiveness!

She hesitantly rose and walked over to her professor. She gave a twenty second long lap dance and immediately leapt up saying, "Okay, I did it." The look on Snape's face was enough to curdle milk.

Fred and George looked amused. "Er, no, that wasn't long enough!"

"You never implied how long it had to be!"

"Well it was kind of obvious-"

"NO! It wasn't obvious you-"

"Don't interrupt me!"

"Don't interrupt ME!"

While the three siblings continued arguing, Snape noticed that Hermione and Remus were waking up. He crawled over to Hermione's side as Sirius helped Remus up.

Hermione opened her eyes, not knowing what happened. She found herself staring into the cold eyes of a face she'd known for quite a while. "Professor?" She managed.

"Miss Granger," Snape sneered.

Hermione sat up slowly and blinked. Snape leaned back at her apparent health and regarded the girl seriously.

"What happened?" she asked, rubbing her head. Snape was momentarily surprised by her lack of reaction to the potion (and, even though he denied it, a touch put out), and hesitated a moment before sliding his sneer firmly in place.

"You simply ingested a harmless potion and passed out. I suggest that you be more careful in your choice of beverage next time, Miss Granger." he said silkily, putting emphasis on the veiled insult.

Hermione looked down at her hands, chastised. "Oh."

As Snape returned to his seat, Hermione chased her gaze around the circle, noting the odd looks that George was giving Harry and Fred to Luna in between the row both were having with Ginny, who hadn't been there a moment ago.

She nudged Harry and asked, "What'd I miss?"

A blush diffused across Harry's cheeks and he muttered, "You don't want to know."

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU DIDN'T SPECIFY AN AMO-"

"WELL, IT WAS MY DARE, AND I CAN STILL HEX YOU FOR NOT COMPLETING IT-"

"CODSWALLOP! I DID ENOUGH, AND IF YOU STILL THINK OTHERWISE, I'M GOING TO WRITE ABOUT THIS TO MUM!"

Everyone was silent- if Mrs. Weasley found out about this, there would be no escaping her wrath.

"Okay, okay!" said George placatingly, "You win! Now, Looney- I mean, Luna," the redhead corrected himself at his brothers' glares, "it's your turn to spin!"

Luna looked to George from the blank spot of wall she had been contemplating and took the bottle.

"No, wait! Wait a moment!" Dumbledore gestured wildly for attention. "Miss Tonks still has to do her dare!"

Tonks glared at Dumbledore and sighed. "Fine," she said, and leaned over Sirius to plant a chaste kiss on Remus' lips. When she quickly pulled back, Remus looked at Dumbledore confusedly.

"It was my dare to kiss you, mate."

"Oh." Remus spoke quietly, almost to himself. He glanced nervously to Sirius, who seemed indifferent.

"Miss Lovegood, you may spin now." Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling.

Luna didn't seem to hear. She was staring at her fingernail.

"Luna. Luna! MISS LOVEGOOD!" Everyone jumped except Luna, who looked up calmly. "It is your spin."

"Right..." She put the bottle down and spun. The bottle slowly halted, tip pointed at Hermione. Luna's face had no expression. Then she started to look dreamy and her eyes drifted to the ceiling. She was silent for quite a while- until Ginny came up behind her and whapped the back of her head.

"Wake up Luna; we're playing a game here. What's the dare?" Ron looked perturbed by his sister's casual treatment of Luna.

"Oh, sorry. Hermione, kiss Harry."

"Well, that's a lame dare..."

Ginny looked nervous and tried to make Luna change her dare to something more, well, daring, but Luna was already off in dreamland and if Ginny hit her again, Ron would murder her. So she just bit her lip as Hermione leaned over to Harry. They kissed sweetly and chastely, much like siblings would.

Ginny let out her breath.

George looked upset.

Luna was staring off into space.

Fred was staring at Luna.

Ron was scowling at Fred.

Hermione blushed lightly.

Harry looked indifferent.

Dumbledore smiled at the two.

Snape sneered (no surprise there).

Sirius let out a sarcastic, "AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW,"

The other Professors were smiling for no reason in particular.

Tonks, who wasn't listening to anything really, was changing her hair color from black to pink to green to black to pink to green…

Hermione reached for the bottle saying, "Well, I guess it's my turn!"

She spun. And it landed on none other than a scowling Professor Severus Snape.

Hermione blushed again and looked at the ceiling embarrassedly. What kind of dare was she supposed to give the surly man? Hermione spent several minutes racking her brains for something suitable, outright ignoring Harry and Ron's less than noble suggestions. At one filthy notion by Ronald, which involved singing an obscene schoolyard song while dancing the can-can, Hermione decided that she would make him do something so that they would see him in a better light.

After she decided that, it didn't take long to decide. She looked her former professor straight in the eye, her features showing determination.

"You have to play the piano concerto- the one that I first heard you perform."

There was silence. Most people didn't know he played piano- she was one of the few who did. Snape was surprised greatly for the third time that evening, but covered it with an oily smirk.

"The only problem, Miss Granger, is that the noble House of Black does not have a piano."

Dumbledore, who had been twinkling lewdly since the bottle had landed on Snape, beamed.

"I can fix that for you, Severus!" And, motioning for the room's occupants to clear away, he did.

Using a muttered incantation and drawing in the air with his wand, Dumbledore conjured a full-scale concert grand piano in the middle of the Black drawing room. There was little space left, but the game's participants managed to crowd around it, a myriad of emotions flickering throughout the group. The face, though, that stood out to Snape the most was the triumphant gaze of his one-time student and coworker. He sneered, and reluctantly sat down at the piano bench.

Not trusting Dumbledore as far as he could throw him, Snape played some experimental scales before being satisfied. He resolutely ignored the people breathing down his back, closed his eyes, and began to play.