Chapter 4: It's MUZAK TIME!

Disclaimer: See chapter 1. And I don't own 'Baby Got Back', either.

A/N: Sorry about the terrible wait. School will do that to a person. But now, I present another long-ish chapter! This may be the end of them though, folks, as this is where the original left off. I'm all alone from here! And just a warning, there is a TON of insanity in this chapter. Bunny suits and cross dressing ahoy. And another note: all pop culture references credit to Cass, my lovely co-author up to here. I live under a rock.

Snape was slightly nervous at the silence that greeted his first chord. It seemednot only everyonein the house, but the house itselfwas listening now. But he eventually put the feeling aside and played on, despite the eyes boring into him from all sides. The vivace was very impressive; the quick tempo well marked by light staccato and a soaring melody.

By the time he got to the second movement, the andante, he was completely consumed by the music. He didn't realize anyone was there but himself and the piano. The countermelodies and harmonies wove in and out of each other, like unruly curls or a labyrinth of snakes. His mother had insisted he play a respectable instrument as a child, before she had died. Severus had begun learning at a young age, and his quiet passion for music had never wavered.

Hermione watched his fingers with amazement. She always had a love for music, but had never had the chance to learn to play. She loved to sing soprano when she was alone, but beyond that there had never been time for something as trivial (as her father put it) as learning an instrument. Ignoring her father's sentiments, she had gone on her own to study all she could about music without actually picking up something to play.

She had learned so much about concertos in her studies and had immediately fallen in love with them. Once, in 6th year when she was patrolling the halls, she was thankful to have heard the sound of an unfamiliar one drifting up from the dungeons. She snuck down to listen, and found the Potions master instead. She was shocked to see that he played and he was shocked to see her interested. Since then, Hermione had had a greater respect for Snape than ever.

As he moved on to the final movement, the lively and upbeat allegro, Hermione watched his face, so concentrated and serious. She wondered if she could make a smile break that stiff countenance…

She was awakened from her trance as Snape hit the final chord and the entire house erupted into applause. He stood up and bowed, seriousness never leaving his expression. Hermione smiled appreciatively and wished she could do that.

After several comments from music loving adultsoccupying the house, the group managed to get back to the game, andthe piano was shrunken and stowed in Dumbledore's pocket. It was Harry's turn to spin. He took the bottle and spun it carefully, concentrating on it as it revolved more and more slowly, finally landing on Professor McGonagall. Hermione and the most of the group covered up snorts. McGonagall, for all the liquor she had imbibed, looked the epitome of Gryffindor pride, sitting up straight and waiting for her dare.

"Er..." Harry looked dumbfounded. Hermione silently pitied him- it would probably have been easier for him to give Snape a dare than his old Head of House.

The former Head Girl jumped slightly when Ron nudged her and grinned. She sighed and leaned in conspiratorially as he whispered into her ear. At the idea, she gave him a chiding look that was quite offset by her shaking shoulders. It couldn't hurt, could it? They weren't students anymore, and Sirius had always given stupid dares- it was just retribution. Ron leaned back again and nodded towards Harry. Naturally, Hermione complied. She whispered the idea to Harry, whose green eyes glanced nervously to his former professor and then his godfather, but sat up and spoke all the same.

"You have to-" his voiced faltered a bit, but regained strength, "-dance the tango with Sirius while singing two rounds of 'I'm A Little Puffskein'."

Stifled giggling traveled through the group as McGonagall put her head in her hands. "Alright, alright," she mumbled in a thick Scottish brogue, "let's get it over with."

Sirius stood, smiling widely, and bowed dramatically before helping McGonagall to her feet. "May I have this dance?"

Sirius swept the Gryffindor Head of House into the middle of the circle where they mock-tangoed as the older woman sang slightly drunkenly,

"I'm a little puffskein
Round and soft,
I love to play and be thrown aloft.
If I'm very hungry
Don't you fret,
I'll eat your bogies even if their wet!"

Raucous laughter filled the room as the pair sashayed into the second round, Harry grinning widely at Ron and Hermione as he expressed gratitude around his rare merriment.

As the noise finally died down, many of the room's occupants wiping tears from their eyes, Harry passed the bottle to Ginny, inadvertently brushing her fingertips in the process. She fervently hoped that he hadn't noticed the slight shiver that had run down her spine at the contact. It was bad enough he didn't notice her. It would be worse if he found out she still liked him without returning the sentiments.

So she smiled at her brother's best friend and laid the bottle in the middle of the circle like the others before her and spun.

The bottle zoomed about for a bit before it landed on Dumbledore. Ginny, still being in school herself, burst out into a fit of laughter at the thought of daring her headmaster. What the sodding hell could she actually say?

Harry, realizing her uncomfortable confusion, leaned over and whispered a hint into her ear.

Ginny, realizing Harry's mouth was just centimeters from her ear, turned slightly pink. And after Harry's suggestion, she blushed scarlet. Another burst of laughter followed and she threw up her hands to cover her red face.

Harry, in spite of himself, chuckled at her reaction. She kind of has a sexy laugh... Wait, did I just think that? Oops, Harry thought, now Ginny's not the only one red in the face. Ugh, that's my best friend's sister. I'm supposed to attack the guys attracted to her (a deal Ron and Harry had made early in their relationship), not be one of them! That's just not right. Harry quickly dismissed the thought from his mind.

Ginny, who had finally gotten a hold of herself, announced the dare, "You have to rap 'Baby Got Back' in a bunny suit."

The fewin the circle familiar with the song, including Dumbledore, collapsed in fits of laughter.

The Headmaster, still chuckling, stood up and zapped a white bunny suit onto himself. Clearing his throat, he began.

"I like big butts and I cannot lie,
And you other brothas can't deny,
That when a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get SPRUNG! Wanna pull out your tongue
'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed.'
Deep in the jeans she's wearing,
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring!
Oh baby, I wanna get wit'cha
And take your picture.
My homeboys tried to warn me
But with that butt you got makes me feel so horny!"

Through tears of laughter, Hermione saw Dumbledore doing a few provocative motions. This was the funniest thing she's ever seen!

"And I'm down to get the friction on.
Ladies! (All the females in the room: Yeah?) Ladies! (Yeah?)
If you wanna roll in my Mercedes Yeah
Then turn around, stick it out,
Even white boys got to shout,
Baby got back!"

Dumbledore was thoroughly enjoying himself.

"My anaconda don't want none
Unless you got buns hun!"

Snape was utterly disgusted with Albus' actions. And how did he know the words to this song anyway?

"So ladies, if the butt is round,
And you want a triple X throw down,
Dial 1-900-DUMBLEDORE
And kick them nasty thoughts,
Baby got back!"

Dumbledore bowed and sat down again amid gales of laughter, still wearing the bunny suit. No one mentioned this, of course, because how often did one get to see Albus Dumbledore in a bunny suit? As the noise slowly quieted, Ginny handed the bottle to Tonks, who easily set it spinning.

The bottle slowed to a stop, landing in between the Weasley twins. As the rules went, Tonks eagerly reminded them, this meant that each participant had to be involved. They both balked at the predatory look on her face.

"I don't remember that being part of the rules! It's closer to Fred, anyway!" George whined.

"Is not! It's closer to you!" Fred said quickly, tipping the bottle with his foot.

"Boys, boys," Dumbledore interrupted, his bunny ears waving wildly, "You know the rules. Miss Tonks does get to dare both of you.

Tonks smiled, her hair changing from bubblegum pink to a deep red shade. She pulled out her wand and indicated for the pair to stand up, doing so herself.

Both Fred and George flinched when she flicked her wand at them. After a muttered charm, each twin was clothed in a 19th century gown, complete with heeled shoes and stuffed bodices. Another quick spell, and Fred's hair was long and twisted into an elegant French knot, while George's was pulled back at the crown of his head with curls cascading to the small of his back. Everyone gaped at the transformation.

"You two have to go into muggle London and profess your undying love to the first man you meet. We," the Auror motioned to the rest of the players, "will be watching from under Disillusionment charms."

Everyone was silent. Then Ron and Ginny started laughing. That started everyone else chuckling, while the twins argued adamantly over the validity of the dare.

"That's got to be against the rules!" Fred raged.

"Involving muggles? Are you insane!" George continued.

"It's quite allowed. We never set any limits on the dares, except for anything illegal. You have to do it." Tonks said, tapping her foot and trying not to laugh. "And you two have never had any problem interacting with muggles before."

When both Dumbledore and McGonagall nodded at Tonk's statement through stifled laughter, Fred and George gave up.

"But Merlin, this thing is uncomfortable..." George said, twisting around in his corset.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione laughed aloud at that statement. Dumbledore took an almost-empty liquor bottle from between Harry and Hermione and tapped it with his wand, pronouncing "Portus". He held it out to the middle, where almost everyone took a hold of it.

"Severus, Miss Lovegood," he said, looking to the two. Snape scowled and touched a finger to the glass, but Luna made no move towards the group. Ron turned and grabbed Luna's hand, bringing it to the bottle seconds before the group was swirling and jostling through the air.