LILY EQUALS LIFE

By: n33n

Okay, a new approach to the whole Lily && James madness. James is arrogant and charming as ever…Sirius hot, yet maddening at the same time…Remus, quiet and thoughtful…Peter—that worm, and Lily? Oh, Lily's still feisty and kicking. Kicking James in the OUCHES.

Chapter Eight

"I see you've abandoned your dearly beloved," Remus noted with a nod, prodding James in the lap with the butter knife he was holding in his hand.

James looked horrified and jumped over to two seats down from the rest of the Marauders. He spluttered out, "Moony! Do watch where you're pointing that blasted thing, won't you? My precious little James! Honestly."

James was still in horror as he looked at the warm toast he had placed on his plate minutes earlier. He poked it tentatively with his finger and then dramatically announced, "I have completely lost my appetite, thanks to Moony dearest scaring the hell out of me."

Sirius merely snorted at this declaration and resumed stuffing his mouth with buttered biscuits and pumpkin juice. Peter, as usual, had little to contribute to the conversation and moved his eggs around his plate a few times.

James then paused. "Oh. And what dearly beloved were you referring to, Moony?"

Remus sighed. "Pink. The notebook that you were passionately scribbling your notes in between each breath you took."

"Oh. Well, I haven't added anything yet, because I'm too busy contemplating my relationship status with Evans," James explained, a thoughtful look on his face.

"Relationship status?" Remus echoed, raising a high eyebrow.

Sirius guffawed into his sausage. "I do not believe enemyship is a word. Therefore, I will make it one, and announce that Ms. Evans and Mr. Potter's relationship is an enemyship."

"No, that's not quite right," Peter began and then stopped, as he had lost his train of thought and was not used to speaking his mind. He quickly muttered a small, "Sorry!" and resumed picking at his eggs.

Remus nodded, however. "Peter's right. James is infatuated with Lily, but Lily doesn't give a crap about James."

"Nice way to put it," Sirius nodded with approval. "Quite like an unrequited love."

James glared at them both. "Thanks, you guys. I can feel the emotional and moral support absolutely radiating off of you two." James grumbled with a sour look on his face.

"Any time, Prongs! That's what we're here for," Sirius said, grinning broadly, and ignoring the sharp warning jab in the ribs Remus was giving him.

"Hmpth," James harrumphed and left the Great Hall in a storm.

"What's up with him? Merlin!" Sirius asked to no one in particular. Remus sighed and shrugged helplessly.

"Must be his manly mood swings kicking in. I reckon it's that time of the month. Of course, I don't keep tabs on his monthly body system calendar," Sirius said thoughtfully. "Though I should, I suppose. I'd be able to get out his warpath."

The two remaining Marauders agreed at this proposition and immediately began to document each time James became angry all of the sudden. They suddenly noticed a surreal pattern in his behavior…

o.O.o.O.o

Just as James Potter walked out of the Great Hall, he immediately bumped into someone.

It was Lily, looking all puffy-eyed and bags under her eyes.

"Evans?" James called out in surprise. "Are you feeling okay?"

To Lily's surprise, it wasn't arrogant-sounding, but actually full of concern. But he was the last person she wanted to see at the moment.

Lily glanced up to meet him and tell him off for asking her if she was well. Wrong move. Deadly wrong move. Her eyes moved seemingly magnetically towards his jaw, and she could not pull off her gaze.

She involuntarily took a step towards him and hesitated, her hand resting in mid air. Don't do it, Lily Marie. You're going to regret it and James Potter is going to make you look like a fool.

Oh, but she did it. Her hand reached across and gently brushed James's jaw. As soon as she did so, the spell seemed to be broken, and her senses finally jumped back in. Thank Merlin.

Lily stepped back quickly, surprised at her boldness and muttering a small "sorry" to James, she fled into the Great Hall, far away from the source of her troubles.

She left James standing alone in front of the entrance to the Great Hall, wondering what the hell had just happened.

Shaking his head at the weirdness of it all, he started towards the Common Room to spend some quality time with 'his dearest beloved', Pink.

o.O.o.O.o

"November 11th: Pink, dearest, sorry for not filling in for the past three days. I know how you long to see my eloquent words and graceful handwriting. Fear not, I shall let you have enough of it today! I have much to inform you, Pink, love. The craziest things have happened to me in the past twenty-four hours…Let me begin.

Interaction I: LME and I both were invited to dear Sluggie's social party, and we both expressed our disgust at these invites at the same time. Quite adorable, isn't it? I thought so.

Interaction II: Saw her at Sluggie's party. Highlight of my night. Sorry if you're getting jealous. I know that you simply cannot resist my charm, my dashing good looks, and witty personality. It's too bad we didn't meet before…It's too bad I met LME first. Otherwise…perhaps, we'd get together. Merlin, I'm telling this to a notebook. Sorry, Pink, I know you're probably hurt. You are always more than a notebook in my heart. That's what counts, isn't it, dear? Anyways, I pinched her butt, and I am proud to say she squealed in delight. Pure, unadulterated delight. Yes, I must say, that was really lovely of me to do so. I then disappear, leaving her hanging and longing after my lovely presence.

Interaction III: After an hour or so of not seeing her, I became worried and start a search party consisting of…well, me. So I was a search person on a mission to find one LME. Found her dozing peacefully at a dark table in the back corner. Apparently, she was counting sheep. Said person got pissed off for some reason because I found out that she is a stalker…and the person she adores and stalks is me. Horrifying, I know. It's good that I'm actually interested in her. Otherwise, I would have to put a restraining order on her. Feisty and driven, she is. If you get what I mean. Had an excellent conversation until her face started turning weird. Her nose kept twitching, and I wondered if she has a twitchage problem. Decided not to ask, and finally, just as I was about to (because her twitchage was getting out of hand…it looked that she would make her nose fly off any second), she suddenly bursts out and runs off. I must say, I had fun staring at her arse as she ran off. It was only a three second glance though. Pooey.

Interaction IV: I told you I had a lot to say. Well, bumped into her at the entrance to the Great Hall just minutes ago. We exchanged a few words. She didn't look well, so I asked. She looked at me all funny and her nose began twitching even worse than last night. I was going to ask her (really) again when she stepped closer to me. LME then runs her hand up and down my jaw and mouth. Then apologizes and leaves. Pink, women are so confusing. Except for you. But understanding comes with a price. You lack boobage and buttocks. It is a sad, sad world.

I must leave you at once. LME has arrived. What will happen? Who knows? I shall return. Wait for me, love."

Author's Note:

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neen

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