LILY EQUALS LIFE

By: n33n

Okay, a new approach to the whole Lily && James madness. James is arrogant and charming as ever…Sirius hot, yet maddening at the same time…Remus, quiet and thoughtful…Peter—that worm, and Lily? Oh, Lily's still feisty and kicking. Kicking James in the OUCHES.

Chapter Nine

She looked a rather sick, pasty shade of green. A bit unattractive, James was forced to admit grudgingly.

So he told her, being the suave and smooth heartthrob he is known for.

"Evans, you look absolutely horrid," James said, trying hard to say it as nicely as possible.

Lily scowled at this comment, and a bit of pink returned to her cheeks. "Why, thank you for informing me of that, Potter. So kind and sweet of you."

James nodded curtly. "I know. You're the only person I can quite bring myself to say things like that."

Lily rolled her eyes at his stab at something romantic. "How adorable."

Somehow, James had sidled up to Lily and flashed her an arrogant grin. "Aren't I just so adorable?"

"No, Potter! I was just—just…" Lily's head snapped up as she had before been determinedly staring at the ground for good reason. Her eyes, once again, became glued to the sight of James's jaw. For lack of a better word, she merely said, "Eniruugh!"

James looked confused. "Sorry, did you just say "Eniruugh"?"

Lily shook her head, her eyes not bothering to blink. They simply could not resist taking in the sight of the Magnificent James Potter Jaw.

"Er, Evans? Are you all right? It seems you're mesmerized by my stubble," James said, shooting an arched eyebrow into his hair. "I know I haven't shaved in three days, and it's quite attractive on me, but really. If I had known before that my stubble turns you on, I would've grown a beard or a goatee. Your pick."

Lily managed to stop ogling for thirty short seconds. "For your information, Potter, I was not staring at your bloody stubble. I was just…staring at the massive dried crusty thing most likely left over from your pumpkin juice this morning," Lily said quickly, lying smoothly.

To her great delight, James ran a hand under his jaw, therefore breaking off the insanely weird connection of Lily's gaze and James's jaw. Whew, a few more minutes, and I probably would have jumped on him and rubbed his jaw. Ew. I did not just voice that thought in my mind.

"I can't feel anything," James said, continuing to finger his jaw, looking quite frustrated.

"Oh, but you're not looking hard enough. It's right ther---Eniruugh!" Lily had reached up to point out the 'pumpkin juice spot', but at the same time, James had dropped his hand down, letting Lily's eyes become exposed to…James's jaw. As Lily's hand was in mid-air, she, once again, had her hand stuck to the side of James's jaw.

James looked at her, startled. "Evans, what in Merlin's beard are you doing? You just did that thirty minutes ago. Is this some secret signal that you're trying to give me? You fancy me?"

"No, no," Lily shook her head, still rubbing James's jaw. "I don't fancy you. I fancy your jaw." Lily corrected quickly, then realized her mistake.

James looked at her with a weird expression on his face. "You what?"

Lily could not tear her gaze from James's jaw, so she had to look into his eyes and mutter, "Nothing at all."

James, however, had indeed heard the first time. "You have the hots for my jaw? Out of all my body parts, you like my jaw? Are you feeling sane?"

"Shut up, Potter. Please remove my hand from your filthy jaw," Lily said through gritted teeth, trying hard to pull her hand from his jaw, but it seemed that it was apparently glued on with a Permanent Sticking Charm.

James grinned toothily. "No, thanks though. I quite like your consistent rubbing against my face. It's rather soothing, don't you think?"

"Merlin! What in the magical world of me is going on here?" A loud, booming voice asked out in pure disbelief.

Sirius Black. Followed in quickly by Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew.

"It's not what you think!" Lily exclaimed, protesting loudly.

"It's exactly what you think!" James's grin widened, and winked smugly.

Both people had said things at the same exact time. Lily looked at James, angry and ready to smack James, if her hand had not been glued to his chin and if her other hand was not busy trying to free her other hand.

"Evans…you seem to move around fast, eh? First, you're telling us you hate James's guts. Now you're giving off the impression that we just interrupted you two in the middle of a heated, passionate snog session. Which, of course, I'm quite certain we did," Sirius said, smirking widely.

"You filthy dog!" Lily accused wildly, sending a glare at the cheerful and bouncy person.

Sirius's smirk widened even further, if possible. "You have no earthly idea how right you are, my dear Evans!"

Lily shot him a rather confused look and shrugged it off, not even wanting to ask. He's probably referring to the rather odd habit of his eating doggie biscuits as snacks or something. Weirdo.

"It seems that lovely Ms. Evans is attracted to my jaw and simply cannot refuse to give in to touching it any spare given moment. She is empty without it," James declared arrogantly.

"WILL SOMEONE JUST PLEASE GET MY BLOODY HAND OFF HIS BLOODIDLY SEXY JAW?" Lily finally exploded, not being able to take the embarrassment at being seen and commented at like this. Too late, she realized her grave mistake.

"My sexy jaw, eh? See? What did I tell you about her being attracted to my jaw? I was speaking the truth," James said, as Remus had looked at him a bit skeptically before. Now, Remus was glancing at Lily, a bit surprised.

"I didn't mean what I said…" Lily tried weakly, but to no avail. Sirius was whooping loudly, Remus had his mouth hung open, and Peter? Even Peter was grinning at this.

Then she did the only thing she could at that given point in time, at that given situation at hand. She laughed.

Yep, she laughed. Unable to stop between breaths, she laughed, chortled, giggled, guffawed, chuckled, tittered, sniggered, snickered, and even hooted while having one hand still firmly attached to James's jaw.

Everyone else was quiet at this point and was carefully watching how Lily Evans handled herself.

"This is insane!" Lily chuckled. "It's like we're living out some crazy situation in a weird story that some maniac authoress wrote up!"

"Erm, what?" James asked, giving off the air of puzzlement.

"And how would you know it was an authoress? Sexist!" Sirius vehemently said.

Lily quickly regained her composure. "Never mind," she snapped.

Remus cleared his throat. "Well, what Sirius, Peter, and I were about to say until we stumbled upon this scene was you seem to have a certain pattern of when you get angry."

"Or another popular term would be, 'Prongs's Manly Mood Swings'," Sirius clarified, shooting James a dignified nod.

"Erm, what?" James repeated, looked even more perplexed.

Remus continued, "It seems that you get mad every time before you have a nice little chat with Pink."

"Yeah, it seems that Pink is just the ultimate reliever," Sirius added, smirking. "What can I say? That lovely bod with all that glorious hair that you can't resist running your fingers through...What isn't great about her?"

"Yeah, we can understand your reasoning, James," Peter piped up. "All that fuzzy, pin—"

"—All that fuzzy, pinkiness that girls seem to give off, eh, Worm?" Sirius quickly intervened, shooting Peter a glare, signaling him to back off.

James was still staring at the three with great confusion until Remus somehow managed to subtly nudge James in the ribs without letting Lily, who was still attached to James's jaw, see.

"Ohh. Yeah. Pink is the ideal girl, I s'ppose. I mean, Lily, you are really great and everything, but Pink is just so perfect," James said, cottoning on.

A new feeling gnawed a bit at Lily.

"Oh, really?" she cocked an eyebrow up. "And just who is this special girl, Potter?

Lily Evans, looked, magnificently pissed off.

And her hand? Still attached to James's jaw, allowing easy access for a muffled slap.

Author's Note:

YES! I hope I aced my precal exam. It was torture, lemme tell you!

ALMOST DONE WITH SCHOOL!

Reviews greatly appreciated…!

neen

Thanks to the people who reviewed!