(A.N&Disclaimer) Harry Potter&company (characters, setting, themes) belong to J.K. Rowling & all chapter titles and lyrical subtitles belong to the respective artist(s) underneath them. This is Fiction & Jazz is an original.

Ch 2: Bring Me to Life

"I've become so numb without a soul, my spirit sleeping somewhere cold"
(Evanescence)

She wasn't always like this. So different, so consumed by her fate. It's all she think about now, every breathe is took for the cause, it's every thought that passes through her head. She is one of the many who will die fighting for it, one of the many who will be forgotten after the war is fought and won and who will have left no imprint on this world. She doesn't remember exactly when she accepted her fate, it just happened. Her whole life she has been in training for the days when the people will need wizards and witches to help bring down the Dark Lord. She was marked and trained to be an unfortunate causality of war. Jazz has a talent though, something they never saw coming. Dabbling in the Dark Arts was nothing new to her; most of the magic she knows and uses today are variations of the Arts or are straight from the ancient fundamentals. Her teacher taught her to fight fire with fire, that was the only way to win. She belonged to a counter-part of the Order of the Phoenix, they were formed as the universal response to the threat that is the Dark Lord and his chosen company. Their department specialized in the training of double agents and experts in the dark arts. She was always partial to dark magic, and was tempted and to submit herself fully to it's wrath. She was one of the best, and appeared to be in total control and not seduced by the promises of power and greatness. Eventually they forgot one important fact about her. She was still human. Jazz came to Hogwarts because she didn't trust herself to be exposed to the Dark Arts without her safeguard. The feeling of being completely consumed and enslaved to the Dark Arts is the most bittersweet feeling in the world. It kills your humanity slowly, and before you realize what's happening to you, you've already become numb to the world. Her teacher, who also happened to be her only trusted friend, went missing exactly twenty-nine days ago and is presumed dead. Elizabeth served the Order for six years as a spy, and was never under suspicion until two months ago. Jazz came in search of Hogwarts the next day, a grueling and tiresome journey ensued. She became a different person, all the evidence of that is still present in her today. How was she supposed to tell them that?

"I will ask you again. There is more than you are divulging. This is your last chance to answer willingly, or you will be subject to much more convenient methods. Who are you?" A tall, crooked-nose man demanded, with an air of disdain and dullness in his voice.

Jazz never held much respect for authority, mainly because all her life she had been treated as an equal to her teachers and peers. She knew when respect was due, and this was not a time to be disrespectful. Telling two complete strangers the truth would not constitute as a wise, she wouldn't tell them what they wanted to hear. Not willingly, anyway. She wanted more than anything to give in, but she knew she couldn't. She was so tired, her heart was barely pulsating in her aching body, and she never felt so bleak before.

"Your silence has brought us to this, Lupin hand me the veritaserum"
He training had touched upon fighting truth-telling potions several times because many of the people that worked there were either spies or extremists. Their duty was to help Harry Potter on his mission to defeat the Dark Lord. They were taught physical spells but more importantly mental skills, like Occlumency and Legilimency. To more extremes, they were also taught that death was better than surrendering, that you must chose death over betrayal. Her body and mind were not in any condition to fight the potion, and frankly, she felt like giving up. She had been taught to obey the Roman philosophy that death was better than betrayal, if anyone was trying to force you to divulge information or demanding obedience to a foreign ruler, you chose death. Her voice was scratchy and weak, but she managed to say in a quiet voice, "If you push my hand, I will play the roman fool." A calm silence followed her attempt at feigning innocence. She was just hoping to pass by as a normal student, who just registered late. It seems as though the man was considering her answer, and actually knew the underlying meaning in the choice of words. The other man was looking at her quite confused and looked as though he was about to say something just as the tall man interrupted him.
"—don't make promises you won't keep"
"Wouldn't dream of"
"—I am still speaking. The Headmaster has agreed to let you stay here as a student of Hogwarts. You will be sorted privately with the Headmaster this evening, and for now, you are to stay on Hogwarts grounds. You can take care of all your arrangements in the 8 hours you have before the feast starts. Be at the main hall at exactly 6:00pm. Leave."

Her moment of shock passed as quickly as it came, she shot the two men an uncertain look and left the room. It hit her that she had no clue where she was going and that this place looked like it was very easy to get lost in for days. She walked back into the room right into a body and fell for the second time that day. An arm stretched out for her and Jazz took it gratefully. "Forgive Professor Snape; his social abilities were lost with his hygiene". She gave out a small smile and outstretched her hand, "I'm Jazz Bentley." "Professor Lupin. The Headmaster realized that you are new here and probably don't know your way around yet. This might be helpful." Professor Lupin handed her a scroll, more specifically a map. "All you have to do is tell it where you want to go and it will show you on the map how to get there." This was exactly what she needed, she had the worst directional skills, and considering she would be a 7th year and didn't want to seem like a lost 1st year. She wanted to blend in, make people forget that she was new and that it was unusual to get new students in their 7th year. "Thank you sir, this is going to be very useful", she said with a tired voice. "You sound exhausted, I won't keep you any longer. Have a good night Ms.Bentley", said Professor Lupin cheerily as he walked away. "You too Sir", she muttered to his retreating appearance.

The second Jazz came through the portrait hole, she collapsed on the nearest bed. She knew she needed to sleep, her body was screaming for it, but she hasn't been able to sleep in a long time. It would never come to her, and when it did, it was only for a few fleeting hours interrupted by thoughts and uncertainties. She threw the smallest of her bags onto the bed and emptied the contents over the black silk bedspread. She found her salvation, her peace in a small container by her wand. She consumed a fair amount, cleaned up her mess, and moments later the silence that was promised was delivered. She passed into an undisturbed sleep for the next seven hours.

Jazz awoke to the sound of loud, excited students in the many hallways of Hogwarts. She felt a little better now that she had rested, but her nerves were still on edge. She slowly walked to the mirror and examined her defeated appearance. The one-month journey to Hogwarts caused her nearly black eyes to sink back behind the bags underneath them. There was never any visible colour in her eyes, but now they looked as tired as she felt, the spark has been missing for a long time. Her black hair was tangled and messy, but was fixed to its original subtle waves with a simple charm. She was standing at 5'3 ½ and it didn't look like that was changing anytime soon. She slipped into her black shoes and took one final look at her appearance. She muttered a charm to make her look more composed and less like she just felt off a fence. It didn't do much to enhance her appearance, and on any other day, she would have tried to look good. However, she just couldn't bring herself to put forth the effort; I won't be here for long anyway, she reasoned. After throwing on a black cloak, she descended the stairs to the portrait hole. It was 5:50. It was funny to her that she worked so hard to get into this school, and now that she was in…her mind was working over-time thinking of ways to get out. She didn't have much experience with people her age, especially people who didn't have to worry about the same things as her. To tell the truth, she was scared, a bit insecure and nervous. She had met with the Headmaster, he was everything and more than what she pictured him to be. Gallant, noble, brilliant. He reminded her so much of Elizabeth, and that caused the occasional pang in her heart every time she saw him.

Jazz timidly approached the feast with hesitation. No one seemed to notice her yet. Part of her was relieved that she didn't stand out, but a much smaller part of herself wanted to be noticed by someone. She walked trough the beautiful wooden doors that led to the feast and vainly looked for a face she could recognize. She was humoring herself; that happened a lot these days. No one she knew would be at this school, and as much as she wanted a confidante, she knew know one would come. The room was undeniably breathtaking. She felt that if spoke too loud the whole place would come crumbling down around her. She knew it wouldn't, seeing as how the Great Hall was alive with hundreds of students talking animatedly to each other. She felt so out of place, as if she wasn't supposed to be here. She felt like it was all a mistake; that she shouldn't have come here for cover. There was only so much that they could do to protect the students, the rest was up to us. She was about to slip away, unnoticed by anyone, when she heard a voice, "Excuse me, are you lost?" It took her a moment to realize that she was talking to her, "Something like that." The red-headed girl laughed and replied, "You're in Gryffindor, right? You can sit here if you like". She hesitantly accepted her offer and took a seat. "I'm Ginny Weasely, and this here is Dean, Luna, and Hermione". "Jazz Bentley". Choruses of "nice to meet you" and "hellos" were thrown around and a few moments later, two other boys joined the table and were introduced to her as Ron and Harry. She recognized Harry immediately, but decided against pointing that out. Her thoughts were interrupted by Ron saying, "So what year are you in? Haven't seen you before"
"Of course you haven't, she's new" Said the bushy haired girl, who she later learned was Hermione Granger.
"You're a first year! You're a little big to be"
"Ron"
"—What? Oh no I didn't mean she...not that you're big, just that you're bigger—taller than a first year"
She had to laugh at that. "It's okay Ron"
He face turned to a remarkable shade of red and he mumbled something along the lines of "Sorry.
"To answer you're question, I'm a seventh year transfer student from—" She was interrupted by the Headmaster, "Welcome, Welcome to another wonderful year full of magic here at Hogwarts school for Witchcraft and Wizardry." The fatigue from the previous nights was still present and her mind began to wander. She thought about home, and what was left of it. She thought about how she was going to handle her schoolwork considering she had never had homework and tests in her life. Mostly, she thought about if she was going to actually make a life for herself, so that way when she lost it…she would have no regrets. "Jazz, aren't you going to eat?" Ginny asked merrily. Jazz could tell that she was happy to be back at Hogwarts with her friends again, and she felt slightly envious of her new friend.
She snapped out ofher daydreams, and realized that a plate of food was in front of me. "Yeah", she offered the first genuine smile she had given in a long time. It was nice to just sit there and pretend to be a normal person for a while.

"Night Jazz" replied a drowsy Ginny.
Jazz closed the four posters around her and tried to go to sleep. She thought that the ease she felt now would be strong enough to guard her from the memories and problems that came to her throughout the day. She stared at the ceiling, a million thoughts running through her head. Will I be able to keep up with the rest of the students? Will they notice I'm not a transfer student? The line of questioning got more intimate and personal as she thought about it. Will I make it through the war? Will Harry fulfill the prophecy? Is Elizabeth alive? She couldn't deal with it any longer, she would go mad by the end of the night if she didn't do something. She reached for the potions bottle, took a sip of the contents, and faded into another calculated dreamless sleep.