The Link

Chapter XIV: Snake, Toad and Slug

Tsunade placed her emptied mug of green tea on the table, sighed and lifted her gaze to the five men before her. Nobody talked, and Hyuuga Neji was the only one who kept his head bowed, his long hair carefully screening his face from view. For a moment Tsunade regarded the young Anbu with pure spite. She didn't feel sorry for him at all. And to think he had potential – he was the youngest Anbu squad leader since the legendary Uchiha Itachi. He vowed that he'd work himself to death then she would help him fulfill that oath. Her Samsung flatscreen had been overly expensive. Prices going on a continuous hike were far from giving the Hyuuga Anbu a good time. Jiraiya was waiting for her to speak. Kakashi and Gai were both watching her, waiting for what she had to say. Orochimaru was busy looking up at the roof. She glared at the piece of crystal resting on his white chest. Darn that Naruto! What was he thinking, passing on her family's heirloom to this snake-brained maniac? Strangling Naruto would come later; the loud blonde was currently busy harassing Haruno Sakura and Shizune in the living room.

"So. How are you all faring along?" the Godaime asked.

"Oh, we're doing good!" Jiraiya answered eagerly.

"I like it here." Kakashi replied, eyes curved joyfully.

"Youth brought me here!" Gai answered dramatically.

Orochimaru merely twiddled his thumbs and started to hum an unfamiliar tune. He still was resolutely refusing to look at her. Neji kept his head bowed. Tsunade sighed and looked hard at each of them.

"Many things have transpired in Konoha since you men went here." She said. "Gaara, Kazekage of the Sand, has arrived on the pretense of doing politics, whereas in truth he'd been invited by one Uchiha Sasuke."

"Now, that can't be good." Kakashi murmured.

"What happened?" Jiraiya inquired.

"Do you need to ask?" Tsunade said dryly. "Of course he confronted me about Naruto. I told him the truth."

Silence. Even Neji looked up, eyes wide and mouth slightly open.

"What did he say?" said Jiraiya.

Tsunade shrugged. "He paled and started cursing Naruto with the most colorful oaths I've heard in my life since going to the Rock Country. However I'm pleased to say that he fed Nara and Uchiha's illegal search party with false information. He returned to his country two days after the Christmas party."

"Why, that's good enough to hear." Kakashi said in relief, bringing out his Icha Icha Tactics book and opened it to his bookmarked page. Gai nodded beside him.

"We have also come up with startling things about your linking, Orochimaru." Tsunade said, eyeing the man across her. "Can't you be bothered to hear what I've got to say?"

The Serpent blinked slowly and met Tsunade's eyes. Jiraiya coughed surreptitiously into his fist.

"We've found out that Uzumaki Arashi had once linked with Uchiha Obito when he first invented the Chakra Link." Tsunade explained. Kakashi dropped his book, Jiraiya's eyebrows rose and Orochimaru blinked slowly yet again. Gai looked confused. "Shizune has also come with an interesting hypothesis that the Chakra Link was a jutsu that was consciously invented by Yondaime-sama to...induce friendship." She glared at Orochimaru.

Kakashi tilted his head to one side. "Now that you mention it...I did remember seeing both Arashi-sensei and Obito acting like weirdoes one day. They couldn't go far from each other and whenever Obito was feeling exceedingly hyper, Arashi-sensei became jumpy it was very annoying to watch him. Rin suspected something of course, but we had no idea that they were linked..."

Tsunade nodded. "But Obito is very far from helping us now." She did not avert her gaze from Orochimaru's face. "Besides, Shizune guessed that the link will dissolve on its own. Arashi's notes confirmed this to us. However, when your link with Naruto will dissolve, we cannot know. But what is important is that we have an answer. We...will leave the link alone until it dissolves by itself, seeing as it superbly resists all efforts to sever it."

Orochimaru shrugged. The Serpent's indifference finally got to the Hokage's nerves.

"Can't you even say something?" Tsunade snapped.

There was a flick of purplish tongue across pale lips. "What should I say? Am I supposed to thank you for all your troubles?"

Tsunade's face darkened, and Jiraiya hurriedly tried to stop the oncoming rampage. He chuckled nervously and had an arm around Orochimaru's shoulders. "Ha ha ha ha ha! Orochi-kun, what a rude thing to say! Ha ha ha ha! Yes, rude indeed! Erm..."

Gai rose and nodded pointedly toward Neji. "I think we should prepare dinner..."

"Good idea." Kakashi said as he nimbly leapt to his feet. "Come on, Neji..."

"I'm on it..." Neji nodded as he rose and swept his long hair out of his eyes.

The three disappeared into the kitchen, with Neji sliding the door shut behind him as he went. There was a shout of laughter from the living room; Tsunade assumed it was Shizune's voice. It was followed quickly by Sakura's shrill "BAKA!" and Naruto's annoying cackle. Orochimaru choked for no apparent reason and started giggling into his bandaged hand. Tsunade watched him with eyebrows furrowed against one another. The Serpent giggled and giggled until he finally had to bury his face into his damaged hands. His shoulders were shaking. Tsunade looked at Jiraiya, but the perverted hermit gave a resigned shrug.

"What have you been doing here, then?" Tsunade asked.

Jiraiya scratched his head. "The Hyuuga boy and Naruto are catching up on training every afternoon. Orochi-kun's taught the boy a new jutsu and will resume on the following weeks..."

"What jutsu!" Tsunade demanded.

Orochimaru looked up, a beautiful blush on his cheeks. "Relax, I haven't taught him anything like Kuchiyose Edo Tensei... just Senei Jashuu...and I'm planning to teach him Katon Karyuu Endan next...and Chidori as soon as I get the hang of it...I've only seen Kakashi use it once, so..."

"Since when have you started teaching to anyone?" Tsunade said testily.

Orochimaru absent-mindedly picked on a lock of his hair. "The boy's good. We're both bored. Put one and one together and you get two, Tsunade."

Jiraiya shut his eyes. He did not like where this was heading – no, not at all. He remembered all too vividly that wild confession episode with the sake. Orochimaru loved Tsunade, and by the looks of it, loved her with everything that he was. Jiraiya did not need an other drinking session with the Serpent to guess that he loved her still. The frog summoner seriously hoped that Orochimaru's blushing had something to do with whatever Naruto was doing in the living room with Shizune and Sakura. He swallowed nervously.

"Jiraiya, what is wrong with Orochimaru?" Tsunade asked. "He seems to be much more sarcastic than the last time."

Jiraiya could not answer. All that escaped his mouth was an odd gurgle that sounded oddly like a clogged sink being fixed with lots of squelching. Tsunade frowned at the two of them. She sighed.

"Get out, the two of you, and bring me Naruto."

Orochimaru rose first and left the room. Jiraiya was slower on following. For a moment Tsunade was left alone, thinking very hard. Something was just not right here. Orochimaru had become much stranger. Naruto's protests sounded, and soon enough the blonde was pushed inside by Jiraiya's hand. The door slid shut.

"Sit down, Naruto." The Godaime instructed.

Naruto's eyes were narrowed, and his lips curled into a pout as he reluctantly obeyed. He had been obviously having the time of his life with Sakura. For a moment Tsunade glanced at him.

"Tell me. What is my necklace doing around Orochimaru's filthy neck?" she asked.

Naruto's eyes remained narrowed. "You gave it to me, old crone, and as such, I may do whatever I please with it. I gave it Orochimaru-sensei as a Christmas gift."

The nerve! Tsunade glared at the boy. He looked eerily like Orochimaru as he sat before her, what with his jaws set firmly and arms folded across his chest. How long before the Link dissolved? She would not have Naruto acquiring Orochimaru's traits through this link of theirs.

"I suppose I will have to consider my grandfather's necklace as a lost cause, then." She said. "Naruto, I have known that you can read Orochimaru's thoughts through the link. I want you to tell me what he is thinking right now."

Naruto's eyes returned to normal. He looked at her as if she were mad. He scratched his nose. "You wouldn't want to know. Really."

"Do his thoughts involve a lot of blood, fire and my head on a pike?" Tsunade laughed. "Spit it out, Naruto, I'm used to threats."

"It isn't like that at all." The fox-boy answered. He looked severely uncomfortable, as if he were being asked to divulge a very ugly secret. "It doesn't involve the destruction of Konoha or your death."

Tsunade leant forward, intrigued. "Tell me what it is, Naruto!"

"I won't." the fox-boy answered resolutely. His jaw jutted out in determination. "Yes, I won't."

"You dare disobey a direct order from your Hokage, Naruto?"

"Say what you want, I still won't tell you."

"I will stop sending you food supplies."

"Then we will live off rats and mushrooms."

"I will revert your rank to Genin."

"I still won't!"

"I will not send you a refrigerator!"

"Try again, old crone!"

"I will order Sakura to stop being your friend!"

"Duh, like Sakura will obey you!"

"I will tell Iruka to stop giving you allowance!"

"You're losing your touch."

Tsunade's eyes flashed. "I will order Ichiraku ramen to never ever sell to you again."

Naruto gaped at her. But... "Like I care for a bowl of ramen!"

Tsunade grinned. So he thought he could win against her on blackmailing and coercion, did he? "Fine...then I'd have to nominate Uchiha Sasuke instead to become Rokudaime Hokage in my place."

Naruto's blue eyes flashed indignantly. "No fair! All right, I'll tell you!"

Tsunade's grin widened. "So what is Orochimaru thinking?"

Naruto shifted uncomfortably. "Promise me you won't kill me or anything."

"All right, deal." Tsunade replied. "What is he thinking?"

Naruto scratched his head and muttered, "Ch, how troublesome!"

"Naruto, I'm waiting."

Silence. And then Naruto took a very deep breath.

"He's thinking of kissing you."

Sakura looked up just in time to see Naruto enter the kitchen, looking very afraid. The pink-haired kunoichi's eyebrows rose as she helped Shizune fetch some food bowls and chopsticks from the cupboard. Naruto was clutching his chest as he sat by the counter where Neji was busy chopping up some stalks of celery.

"What happened to you?" Neji inquired. "You look like you've just seen a ghost."

"Scary! Scary, scary, scary, scary!" Naruto mumbled in horror. "I thought I was dead for sure!"

"What are you talking about now?" Kakashi demanded as he tasted his teriyaki.

"I thought she was going to kill me, honestly!" Naruto burst out. "Tsunade-baachan asked me what Orochimaru-sensei was thinking...and I told her...the way her eyes blazed, I could almost feel my neck breaking!"

Neji, Sakura and Shizune looked at each other in confusion.

"So what was the thought about, exactly?" Gai asked.

"Don't ask me to repeat it!" Naruto sobbed tragically. "I won't say it again!"

"All right, all right, keep your hat on!" Neji said.

Naruto bit his lower lip. "What's for dinner, Kakashi-sensei?"

"Teriyaki and a sushi platter." The Sharingan wielder answered.

Naruto gave a great sigh of relief as he rose to help Sakura with the bowls. "All of this thinking made me hungry!"

"JIRAIYA! OROCHIMARU!"

There was a clatter as plastic CD cases jumped out of human hands and onto the tatami floor.

"Hurry up and put them away, Orochi-kun! Tsunade will kill us if she sees!"

"So what will we watch next? The one with the bunny?"

"No, no, that's boring! I'd like the one with the whip..."

"Your choices are way too boring than mine! Why can't we see the one with the bunny costume?"

"You always like your bunnies! You're the one who's corny!"

"JIRAIYA! OROCHIMARU!"

"Egad, hurry up, Orochi-kun!"

"I would've hurried up if I can manage it, dolt!"

"Tsk, she's here – shove 'em under Kakashi's bed, quick!"

The doors to the bedroom slid open just in time as Orochimaru swept the rest of the porn material under Kakashi's futon. Tsunade stomped into the room, fists planted on her hips as her eyes blazed. Jiraiya tried very hard to look innocent, but he failed to wipe off the trickle of blood that flowed from his left nostril. Orochimaru only had to school his face into blankness.

"JIRAIYA, OUT!" Tsunade shouted.

The perverted hermit was only all too happy to comply. Jiraiya did not close the door. Orochimaru rose slowly.

"What's the problem?" he asked calmly. Did she see the porn material? He was sure he slid them all under Kakashi's futon before she slid the door open...

"I thought you were beyond that level!" Tsunade said in a shaking voice. She jabbed a finger hard into Orochimaru's chest, making the Snake Sannin grunt. "I thought – I thought at least – that you're not like – not like Jiraiya! You're disgusting!"

Orochimaru felt air take leave of his lungs. Did she see?

"OOOOH, you're disgusting! Pervert! Pervert! Perveeerrrrttt!" Tsunade hissed as she drummed her fists onto his chest.

"What under Manda's shredded snakeskin are you talking about, Tsunade?" Orochimaru demanded.

"I asked Naruto what you were thinking of!" Tsunade said accusingly. "I thought it would be the normal thoughts of a criminal! I thought you were planning to destroy Konoha, or even kill me! YOU PERVERT!"

Orochimaru did not answer for a while. "Well...what did he tell you I was thinking of?"

Tsunade looked up at him with tears clinging to her lashes. "You pervert!" she hissed softly. "And to think I respected you!"

"I'm not like Jiraiya." Orochimaru said softly as he cupped her chin with his hand. "I'm more subtle than he is."

Tsunade gave a sob and glared at him. Orochimaru leant forward, but she didn't move. Forward...she still did not hit him though he expected her to. Forward...she was still as beautiful as ever. Forward...how come he ever thought of abandoning Konoha? Forward...did he still have a chance? Forward...she had freckles; little cute dots of brown on creamy skin. Forward...she WILL hit him afterward.

His lips had barely made themselves comfortable on her own when Shizune's scream knocked the world into chaos.

"AAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I HOPE IT'S A BOY!"

Tsunade gave a horrified moan into his mouth and pushed him off. Orochimaru blinked, trying to fix his now madly-buzzing brain. Tsunade's voice rang inside the house.

"SHIZUNE! SHIZUNE, COME BACK HERE – IT WASN'T WHAT YOU WERE THINKING OF!" The voice was pleading, desperate.

Orochimaru touched his lips. He actually did it. He kissed her. And he did not get a fist in the face for a price. All of a sudden he felt as if he were a highly-excitable Genin again. His cheeks colored until he promptly fainted from the nervous tension.