The Fallings

Ida -'the scientist still running from daddy'

Winters were long in her tiny part of Earth. Long and cold and intolerable and cruel. Ever since her mother died it had been like that, and she had died only two years ago.

Her father was reading to her.

"That is why there is no Devil," he finished triumphantly. "Merely a God. He is higher than all of us, we are but dust to Him."

Ten-year-old Ida shuddered at that. She didn't want to be dust to anybody.

"Every death is nothing to Him. Every life is nothing to Him. We are but dust to Him, for we all have evil in our hearts. Every death to Him goes unheeded."

It sounded like a prayer to the little girl- a frightening prayer- but she could not escape.

"Amen," her father said.

"Amen."

Many years later-

"You are not marrying her," her father said.

Ida stood her ground. "I am."

Her father snorted. "She's a nobody. Sorry to say it, but you know it's true. No morals. No faith."

"I do not, and she is not," She was staring at him, not blinking, trying to be strong. She had hated this man before, wanted to hurt him, wanted to run from him. But now she was standing before him, purely because of circumstances and religion. And love, of course. Love for a woman who wasn't like her- not so helpless.

Said woman was called Lillian. Ida had met her at a party. She didn't often go to parties. She had heard that would-be scientists were not party people. Lillian was not a would-be scientist, though, she was a singer.

"That woman is a slut," said Ida's father. "I don't want you anywhere near her. And," he added, as Ida opened her mouth, "do you really think I'm going to just let you walk out of here now, now I know your intentions? You must think I'm fucking stupid. Do you?"

"Yes," Ida spat, and she ran for the door. The door, however, instantly slammed shut, and she pulled the handle but it didn't open. She whipped around again.

"Remote control. Oh, hell."

"Oh hell is right," her father said. "Do you think that's where I want you to go, Ida? Because that's exactly where you'll go if you marry that bitch-"

Ida screamed, but it did no good. He picked her up- literally picked her up- and swung her over his shoulder, and dragged her to her room. She kicked and yelled and punched but it did no good- she was thrown into her tiny childhood bedroom and the door was locked.

"This is for your own good, Ida!"

Ida pulled herself to her feet. "It is not!" she screamed. And then, because she could and because this room was easy to escape from, "I hate you!"

There was a pause on the other side of the door. "Oh, you don't, Ida," came her father's voice at last. "You'll understand some day, when that woman abandons you but God is still at your side."

Ida swore at him and turned to the window. It was such an obvious means of escape it made her worried. Maybe there were people outside, waiting to catch her, or something...

She pulled it open and looked out: nobody. She could go down one of pipes on the side of the house- it was risky but she was willing to take any risk.

"Ida!" her father shouted, suddenly alarmed. "You won't leave through the window-will you?"

She ignored him utterly, and put her foot through and found a pipe. She took a deep breath.

"Ida, you'll slip and die."

"No I won't."

She carefully slid outside, and hung onto the windowsill. She was a long way up.

Down she went.

She imagined her father had left the room and was running downstairs to catch her- when she was more than halfway down, she thought what the hell and jumped the rest of the way. She landed perfectly, thank God (or perhaps not him) and she ran. And her father came round the corner, going as fast as an old man could.

"Come back, Ida! I am your father!"

"Go to hell," she shouted back, and ran.

She lived happily with Lillian for two years. Only two years, then that too went to hell.

"I'm leaving," Lillian said fiercely. She was racing to cupboards and ripping stuff out- clothes, jewellery- and reacted with fury when Ida pushed a button and all the doors shut. "You're a bitch. A useless goddamn bitch!"

Ida shook a little, frightened or furious or both. And she could think of nothing to say, but when that woman abandons you was in her head and soul.

Lillian threw some things into her handbag. "I'm gonna go back to my parents for the night," she snarled. "I'd rather fucking die than come back."

"Lillian," Ida said, forcing herself under control, "please-"

"No!" Lillian said viciously, "I'm sick of it, sick of you assuming you're better than everyone else, wanting people to pity you because of your childhood- it's fucking pathetic-"

Ida did not shout. "I gave everything up for you."

"Liar! You didn't give up anything you didn't hate! See, that's your problem, right there, you just figure you have a right to do anything, 'cause God's on your side, even if he's so fucking not-"

A pause. Then Ida hit her. Hit her right across the face, viciously. Lillian recoiled and fell on the bed, gasping. And Ida nearly hit her again- and again and again and again til she begged.

But, luckily, she didn't.

"Oh my god," she gasped, and she was the one who left right there and then: running once more.

She never saw Lillian again, and she never forgave herself, but she did recieve a letter from her father.

Ida- HAVE HEARD THAT THE SLUT LEFT YOU. YOU ARE WELCOME HOME, BUT THERE ARE CONDITIONS YOU MUST AGREE TO. I WILL NOT LET YOU BE TAKEN AGAIN. I WILL COME AFTER YOU IF I HAVE TO.

She screwed it up and threw it in the waste disposal and listened to it burn. Then she sat, alone, on the bed in the cheap hotel she had run to. She would have to report for work the next day, and she would have no-one to come home to. Maybe she could get herself sent out on an expedition- they were difficult but rewarding, and she needed a change of scene. A change of life. Something to believe in again.

She lay down on the bed and thought about people- about the mother she'd lost many years ago. About Lillian. About the father she hated so much.

You'll understand some day, when that woman abandons you but God is still at your side.

God was, however, not at her side. She would have to do without him.

She wanted a better life.

"Ida! See you again, maybe."

"I hope so."

And within seconds they were gone- and the three of them were left.

"You have no idea how glad I am to see you, Ida," Danny said quietly. "No idea."

She smiled. "You have no idea how glad I am to be alive."

"We'll get back to Earth within hours, yeah? And do our best to explain all this." Zach said. "And then- I guess it's up to us what we do with the rest of our lives."

"I think after that," Ida said thoughtfully, staring off into the stars, "I'll keep my mind open to anything. Might even drop by to see my father- stop running."

They zoomed through space towards their home.