The Fallings

Jefferson -'the soldier haunted by the eyes of his wife'

Then out spake brave Horatius,
The Captain of the Gate:
"To every man upon this earth
Death cometh soon or late.

He heard the door opening from down the corridor, and heard Julia giggling, and threw the book of ancient poetry across the room in frustration. Then he shifted right over to the other side of the room, next to the beds, so Julia wouldn't guess he'd been listening for her. Listening to see if she was with anybody.

She quite obviously was.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Harry!" she called cheerfully. "Good night."

The door creaked open.

"Hey, darling!" Julia called, coming in and unloading the contents of her bag onto the shelf. "Have a nice day?" she asked.

"Brilliant," Jefferson said dryly. "Spent a whole day stopping some crazy teenagers with guns using the Ood for target practise."

"Aw, the poor things."

"Mmmmmm."

Jefferson went to pick up his book while Julia took off her shoes and threw them in a corner. "I had a chat with Harry today," she said merrily. "He's got some very interesting theories on the formination of these stones." She took one out of her pocket. "I mean, look at this- it's the only blue one- isn't it beautiful?"

"What else did Harry have to say?" Jefferson asked, more sharply than he intended. Julia blinked.

"Well, not much. Asked how you were..."

"Oh, did he?"

"Yeah...asked how I was...talked about rocks...mostly just talked about rocks, really. But I find it fascinating, you know that."

Jefferson nodded grimly. Any stray bits of information about this Harry were things to be taken note of. "I do know that."

"He also said we'll all be leaving soon...I bet you can't wait to get out of here."

"Not so long as you're happy here. And you are."

She gave him a peck on the cheek, and put the blue rock in his hand. "That one's for you. Look after it."

Two days later he saw her with Harry again. They were coming out of the laboratory, holding rocks and giggling. They looked like a couple. They didn't notice him.

Jefferson told himself quite firmly that his imagination was playing tricks on him. Just because Julia was younger than him and everyone loved her, it didn't mean...

He ought to trust her. He wished he did.

He watched her disappear around the corner with that irritating young man, and with a sigh wandered back to the Weapons and Security Department.

In the dining hall he always dined alone, because Julia spent her lunchtimes working. She would go out to the planet surface and explore- it was dangerous, but she was always careful and took her gadgets with her.

She was pretty much a workaholic, when it came down to it. But then again, so was he.

Harry and a gang of loud, obnxious friends were at the table next to him.

"...well, what about Harry?" one of them said, shouting to be heard above the general noise of the dining hall. "He's been sleepin' with a married woman!"

"I haven't!" Harry snapped back. "Fergodssake! Just cos you do-"

"Do not!"

"-never did anything with with her!"

There was more giggling and laughing and crude insults, and Jefferson left the room. Nobody noticed.

He knew how Julia would take it if he asked her anything- if he checked, just checked, that nothing had happened with Harry- she would be upset. Or possibly angry. She wouldn't like the idea of him not trusting her. He knew she hated to not be trusted: her parents had been from one of the poorest places on Earth, places so poorly looked upon that she had been treated throughout her childhood like a common criminal. She would hate it.

But he hated it as well.

He was careful not to watch her and Harry too much. He watched them going in and out of the lab- sometimes they were talking happily, like friends, and sometimes they weren't even talking much at all.

He wondered if he was becoming paranoid.

On the hottest day of the year, when everyone was packed inside grumbling about the heat, Jefferson walked casually past the lab to check on what was going on in there. And that was when he saw Julia with another one of those blue rocks- he saw her hand it to Harry. And then she said something, but he wasn't sure what.

He stormed off.

The night after that, he had to ask her.

"Julia," he whispered. It was dark.

"Yeah?"

"There's something I need to know."

"What?" She yawned.

"Um." He didn't say 'um' often. "It's about Harry. Are you sleeping with him?"

Dead silence.

"What?" Julia hissed, and she slid out of the bed. "Are you serious?"

"I was only-"

"You- I don't believe that! Nice to know no-one in the damn universe ever had faith me not being a liar or a slut." She was knocking stuff over, looking for her clothes.

"I do," he said, and it was beginning to dawn on him how much he'd screwed that up. He hadn't expected that reaction- maybe he should have. "Don't, love. I was just checking..."

"You shouldn't have to check!"

She marched to the door and went out.

The next morning she was back- Jefferson was woken up by her coming in.

"I shouldn't have been so angry," were her first words. "I'm sorry."

Jefferson started to speak, but she held her hand up.

"But- I just can't believe you'd think that. Don't you have any faith in me?"

"Of course!"

"It doesn't sound like it," she said glumly. "It doesn't sound like it at all."

"I do have faith in you. I swear. Will you forgive me?"

She paused for a second. "Yes. I forgive you."

The following summer some people off the old base were transferred to a new one, on a planet called Raxi. Jefferson and Julia went, and so did Harry. Some new people joined as well, including a young woman called Lillian. She was pretty, a former singer, and close to his age.

And one quiet day in the dining room, Lillian happened to sit to him.

"Hi," she said to him.

"Hello," he answered. He was reading.

"Isn't this a fascinating place?" she said eagerly. She batted her eyelids, just a bit. "You must find it really interesting."

"It's not bad."

"Did you know," she went on, "this place used to be called Raxicoricofalapatorious? But then there was a war here, and everyone died, and we took over and called it Raxi."

"Yes," Jefferson said. "I know about the war. I have been outside, you know."

Lillian was quiet for a minute, and examined her painted nails. "That woman," she said, "the one who studies rocks..."

"She's my wife."

"She's nice."

"Thank you."

"Everyone thinks so," she said with a smile. Then she stuck her hand out. "My name is Lillian Em."

"John Jefferson," he answered, and shook her hand.

Lillain Em came to talk to him every day, when Julia wasn't around. And often she wasn't. You needed all sorts of equipment in order to go outside, and so she mostly just stayed in her new (and much better) laboratory. With Harry.

"The funny thing about the war," Lillian said, "is that nobody knows how it happened. It was like the planet was here one day, and gone the next. And almost everyone was dead."

Jefferson shrugged. "We're not concerned about how the war was started. We just want to pick up all the things that got left behind."

Lillian smiled flirtily. "You think that's right?"

He looked away. "I'm just doing my job. And what's your job, Miss Em?"

"Operations. I work machinery all day. Drills and stuff."

"I see."

"But I'm not really interested in it. I came here looking for someone. This woman I used to know. Heard she was going to work for the Torchwood Archive."

"Mmmm. Find her?"

"No. I just want to say sorry to her. I was really...horrible to her, this one time."

Jefferson thought about the fact that he never saw Julia anymore. "Well," he said, "we may have one thing in common."

Julia woke him up one night, having come back from work very late. "Hey," she said. "I found this on the floor." She held up the blue rock. His one. "What was it doing there?"

"I don't know, it must have fallen off the shelf."

She sighed. That annoyed him.

"Do you lecture Harry about these things too? 'Cos he's got a shiny blue rock same as that one."

"Yes," she said pointedly. "Because he is my friend."

They looked at each other. They both simutaniously decided they didn't want to fight.

"Come to bed," Jefferson told her irritably. "You've been working too hard."

"So Julia," Lillian said one day, "where's she from?"

"South Australasia." Jefferson answered.

"The poor half of it?"

"That's none of your business."

"Sorry. I was just gonna say- I'm impressed if that is where she's from, 'cos she must have come I such /I a long way. She's so clever."

"She is extremely clever." Jefferson said, somewhat wistfully.

"Did you...you know...fall out?" Lillian whispered. Jefferson gave up telling her not to pry: she seemed to be genuine.

"Yes. In a way."

"That's too bad."

"It was entirely my fault," he added.

"I'm sure it wasn't."

"No," he corrected her. "It definately was."

"No, it was cos of her and Harry, wasn't it?" she said, and Jefferson could only stare at her in shock. "Right?" she went on. "I heard them talking about it- not Julia, Harry and his friends- Harry was saying how much he...liked her. I thought he'd slept with her or something."

Jefferson nearly had a heart attack, but he didn't show his horror- he just got to his feet. "I see." he said thoughtfully. "I see."

But he was too afraid to ask Julia straight out- and reacted by avoiding her instead. She clearly noticed something was wrong, but she also said nothing, just talked about her work.

"There might be another earthquake in a few days. We're hoping it might open up some of the caves..."

"Mmmm."

"It would be brilliant. So...well, I'll be quite busy for the next few days. Might go outside the base some more. Is that alright, love?"

"Sounds fine," he muttered. "Take Harry with you, you know, to look after you." As if he hasn't looked after you enough already.

He and Lillian sat close together in his office.

"So," she said sweetly, "you've had an interesting life, haven't you? It always sounds like it."

"Interesting isn't the word. Before I met...before I got married, I was a Torchwood soldier."

"Ooh, you have to be good to do that."

"I don't know. But I did get promoted to Captain, so I must have done something right."

"Well, I haven't done anything interesting with my life," Lillian said. "Just a few failed love affairs."

Jefferson sighed and didn't object when she took his hand. "Well," he said sadly, "we may have one thing in common."

Three days passed. There was a very minor earthquake, but it was enough to send Julia out of the house and to the planet surface. She kissed him before she left. He saw her walk away with Harry, all excited.

"So Julia's gone then," Lillian said, when the two of them were alone in the office.

"Yes."

"Who knows what she's getting up to out there?" she said with contempt.

"I don't."

"Well," Lillian went on, and she leaned across the desk, "if she's not gonna be back for a while..."

"No, Lillian. I can't."

"You can," she said, and she dragged him over and kissed him, and he kissed back. He was surprised to feel no guilt at all...

...only pleasure, because she felt just like Julia in his arms. Except a better Julia. One who wouldn't leave him for anyone or anything.

"Oh, you're perfect," he whispered. "Thank you for everything."

When he returned to his and Julia's room, he trod on something, and heard it crack. He looked down in the dark and picked it up- it was a piece of blue rock.

His heart sank, and he went slowly towards the bed, following the trail- pieces of blue rock covered the whole floor. And on the bed was a note.

John,

Harry and me came back early- there was warnings about another earthquake. I went to our room and Harry went out, and he saw you with that girl. Clearly you never quite had faith in me after all, and perhaps I shouldn't have had any in you.

Harry, being a good friend, is letting me stay in his room. We will discuss things properly when we are back on Earth.

Julia

He took the note to Lillian. He couldn't think of anything else to do. She read it eagerly.

"A good friend," she said. "Rubbish."

Jefferson frowned. "I don't know what to do, Lillian."

"Well, she's left you- not much you can do."

"I didn't want her to leave me."

She shrugged. "You just weren't cut out for each other. You should be happy- you've gotten rid of her."

"Lillian. I didn't want to get rid of her." Suddenly the reality of the situation hit him. "I don't believe this. Why did you ever-"

But he couldn't finish, and headed towards the door.

"Don't be stupid," Lillian called. "You fancied me!"

"For a few minutes. It's Julia I love."

Lillian scowled. "Well, she's hardly gonna listen to you now, is she?"

"I'm still going to try."

He closed the door on her.

But Julia was still down on the planet surface, and he could do nothing. He didn't have access to the central comms system, which was the only way he'd be able to talk to her. So he sat back and waited, and put the stone back together. It didn't look right.

He read for a bit. And then he went to bed, alone.

He was woken up at midnight by someone knocking on the door. Cursing, he went to open it. He expected it to be Lillian, but it wasn't- it was one of the young kids, one of Harry's friends.

"Um," he said. "Mr Jefferson..."

"Yes?"

"Something happened...down on the planet..."

His heart jumped into his mouth. "What, exactly?"

"We got Harry on the comm...he said the planet just sort of shifted, and weird things were happening..."

"Julia! What about Julia?"

"Um. Could you come with me, sir?"

They went down the corridor, and it seemed, though they were running, that they were moving painfully slow. Jefferson opened the door to Central Communications, and stumbled in.

"I need to talk to Julia. Now!"

He heard someone telling him to calm down, but didn't give it much thought. "Give me a comm."

"They're not working all that well," the communications officer said, regretfully. "The planet's so unstable, it's interfering...in truth, sir, I think we might all have to leave soon. I'm sorry."

"Oh, no. I'm not leaving."

Someone handed him a comm then, and he put it to his ear then only to hear Harry.

"-war- paintings down here- these weird things with guns, guns and lasers-oh my god-"

"Harry. This is Julia's husband. Let me talk to her."

He had to repeat that message three more times, and then he heard Julia's voice.

"-whatever war it was here it never ended!" Her voice crackled. "-some massive war- it's like someone reached through time- said goodbye..."

"Julia! Listen to me!" Jefferson shouted, above all the other shouting that was going on in the room. "You need to get out of there."

"-can't-"

"What?"

Someone else- the captain, of all people, a man called Captain Walker- came bursting in then. "Right," he said, and even he was struggling to make himself heard. "Everyone out of this room straight away. We're getting out of here- things have gotten unsafe." He looked at Jefferson. "It's a pity about everyone not in the base, and I'm sorry but we have to go. Everyone! Now!"

Jefferson was a soldier and trained to follow orders, but he stayed by the comm anyway. "Julia!" he tried, shouting loudly as he could. "I'm so sorry!"

"-sorry too- John!"

Someone pulled the comm away then. "Whole bloody planet's falling apart!" someone shrieked from outside the room, and the ground began to shake. Jefferson thought about the blue rock- it would have fallen off the table and broken again.

Julia!

But she was gone, and he knew that. His brain turned itself off anyway, and he ran out with the others- he was faintly aware of Lillian finding him, and clinging to his arm.

And then he was safely in the base's one rocket, heading away from Raxi, and Julia was not there.

He shuddered, and began to cry. It was only just really dawning on him. She might be down there somewhere...still alive down there, waiting to be killed.

He put his head in his hands, shaking uncontrollably. It was five minutes before he could stand to even look up...and he saw Lillian, sitting just across from him. She wasn't looking at him...she was looking away, and smiling a devilish smile. A now my rival is dead sort of smile.

He wanted to kill her. He did not.

We will discuss things properly when we are back on Earth.

"Oh god," he said out loud. He gained a few sympathetic glances, nothing more. He leaned his head against the window,

And the guilt threatened to crush him to pieces.

"Godspeed, John."

"Thank you, sir."

Jefferson leaned his head against the metal door and waited for the oxygen to go. One of the Ood gasped in the disappearing air, and dropped dead to the floor. He couldn't bring himself to say or think I good riddance /I - he felt sorry for it.

He switched the comm off. He had, after all, said everything he needed to.

His mind began to swim, and he closed his eyes, and said-

"Julia."

But nobody heard.

At least, not yet. The devil was a liar- Julia was strong enough to forgive him. She had to have done. He had faith.