Kieran had been singing constantly for the last twenty minutes. Ike's brilliant idea was to simply ignore him and hope that he only sang one song.
In unrelated news, mutiny and desertion among the army was at an all-time high.
Marcia wasn't ready to leave, but she also wasn't ready to listen to another half hour of Kieran's ungodly wailing. She turned to her brother who had remarkably tuned it all out and was busy napping against a tree. Of course, he had the innate skill to tune just about anything out. With both fingers jammed in her ear, she kicked him hard in the shin. "Hey, turd for brains! Wake up!"
Makalov jumped backwards and hit the tree hard; this was only exacerbated by an apple that fell and clocked him in the head. "Ow… what was that for?"
Marcia glared at him. "If you've got time to be napping, you've got time to stop that annoying knight from singing!"
He merely yawned. "Aw, c'mon, Sis. Why don't you do it?"
She took several steps closer, making it look like she towered over him. "What's the last thing you did for this company?"
He fished into his pocket and pulled out a coin, spinning it in his palm. "Flip you for it. Loser stops Kieran."
She groaned. Not again. "Makalov-"
"I'm heads."
She sighed again; if that was the only way he'd do it… "Fine. I'll take tails."
Makalov tossed the coin into the air and caught it between his thumb and forefinger, displaying more grace and skill than he ever showed with a sword. He held it towards Marcia. "Heads, Sis. Looks like it's your turn."
Grumbling, Marcia stormed off to Kieran's new bathing spot. Quietly, Makalov leaned back and looked at the coin in his hands. He slowly turned it in his palm, watching heads come up on both sides. Smiling to himself, he pocketed the coin again and closed his eyes, settling back into his nap.
--
Kieran stopped his singing almost as soon as he saw Marcia. "What ho, pegasus knight! What brings you here?"
Marcia did her best to keep from snorting. "What do you think? I-"
Kieran laughed. "Aha! So you've come to hear about how I, Crimean Royal Knight Fifth Platoon Captain Kieran vanquished the Great Spiders of-"
Marcia interrupted, "No, I just-"
Not to be outdone, Kieran interrupted her as well. "But of course! You've come to listen to my singing!"
Marcia buried her face within her hands. "That's the last th-"
"Behold my mighty singing ability as I serenade your heart!"
Vaguely, she thought she heard the rest of the camp laughing.
"Some things I can't get used to, no matter how I try! It's like the more you thrust, the more I slash, and baby, that's no lie!"
Marcia just wanted to end this. "Kieran!"
"Tell me, what can I say? How will I improve? How should I feel when I don't have to move?"
Any other day, she would have asked who he was talking about, but was now too frustrated to ask.
"What kind of spear is this that you've given me? I only need an axe, a spear is just too weak!"
Marcia was momentarily glad that Jill was slated for patrol duty and not her. Armor would get in the way of any beatings she would have to inflict upon him.
"Girl, all I know, is every time you're near, I feel the change, something moves, I chop you down, whatcha got to do?"
"Kieran! Enough is-"
No, Kieran did not know the meaning of the word enough. "Darling, I... I can't get enough of your lance, baby!"
Losing her patience, she waited for Kieran to look directly at her. At that moment, she placed both hands on the bottom of her tunic and pulled straight up. Desperate times called for desperate measures, and while her privates were covered, she was quite embarrassed to have her breasts dangling out where he could see them.
Needless to say, Kieran stopped singing in favor of staring.
Marcia pulled her tunic back down when she heard the beloved silence. Her frustration at having to resort to that outweighed her embarrassment. "Good. That shut you up." With that, she stormed off, leaving Kieran flabbergasted in the water. He stayed that way for several minutes before finally speaking to himself.
"Sweet! I have to serenade women more often!"