Sunday morning.

Jane woke up Maura on top of her again, Maura's head resting on top of her chest, ear right over Jane's heart. Jane thought back to the night before cringing, hoping she hadn't said anything embarrassing. Instead she remembered how kind Maura had been. She remembered how hard her heart had pounded when Maura had looked at her lips, like she was thinking of kissing them. How Maura had turned that attention to Jane's hands instead, how they'd tingled with what felt like new life under the fresh scars, like the space between was finally filling in. Like part of Jane was growing after being underground for too long. Part of that could have been the drugs, and part of it could have been the storm, but Jane had thought Maura had pitied her. She'd never once thought Maura admired her. Not for what she'd been through. Not for what she was going through, back at work, with everyone knowing a serial killer had played with her, had marked her for his own. But her hands felt branded this morning, branded with Maura's lips, which was a far easier thing to wear than a scar on something so visible as her hands.

Maura woke slowly and propped herself up, looking at Jane and smiling, then down as the undone gown caught her attention. Maura was no stranger to breasts. In fact, she had two of her own, and they'd always received compliments. And she was a doctor, and she dealt almost exclusively in dead people, who had to be undressed before they could be autopsied. She'd seen a lot of breasts, yet these had her captivated.

"I never really understood why people would find a secondary sex characteristic attractive," Maura said thoughtfully. "Especially one which is primarily adipose tissue and milk ducts," she looked up at Jane and blushed. Jane closed her gown, and Maura let her head fall back to Jane's chest.

"It's nothing you haven't seen before," Jane mumbled, a little embarrassed, but Maura couldn't explain that she had indeed seen a lot of breasts but she'd never seen them as anything but a biological necessity. She understood now why men's eyes, and occasionally Jane's, drifted down to her cleavage when they were conversing. She understood the fuss about them, when they were Jane's.

Jane stretched her hands, relieved the barometric pressure had settled and her hands would be useful again. Her first action was to wrap them around Maura, soaking in the warmth and comfort she offered, putting off the day ahead of her a little longer. Her phone rang and she grabbed it.

"Oh, hey Ma," Jane yawned, sitting up. "No, still out of town. No, I don't know when we'll be back. You saw me on the news? Yeah, Maura bought that for me." Jane could feel Maura's grin against the bare skin of her sternum. "I don't know if we'll make it for dinner. Yeah, I was going to bring Maura," Jane looked back down at Maura, still sleepy, still cuddling up to Jane. "It's been a rough case, Ma." Maura stirred again, curling in towards Jane, hand reaching for her and wrapping around Jane's forearm. "Yeah, I love you too. I'll let you know when we're heading home, ok?" Jane hung up to see Maura looking up at her, Maura's hand reaching up to pull Jane's robe closed again.

"Ma says hi, and wants you to buy me more shirts," Jane said, still sitting up. The urge to lie down next to Maura and wrap herself in her arms was strong. "Um. Thanks for last night," Jane said. "Sorry I made you cry."

"It's been a rough case," Maura echoed. She sat up, brushing a hand through her hair. "I should get to the lab."

"Wait," Jane said, reaching out for Maura. "I meant what I said, last night."

"What part?" Maura asked quietly.

"About feeling safe with you." Jane sighed, not noticing the robe slip away from her skin again until Maura tucked it firmly closed again.

"Sorry. It's just... Very distracting to try to have a conversation with..."

"Oh! Uh, sorry."

"I didn't say I minded," Maura said. "I just want to be able to focus on what you're trying to say."

"I'd notice if I didn't feel safe with you," Jane pointed out. "Or if I minded you seeing them. But I don't. Maybe I should. But... I looked too, last night. You wanted to know what's happening here, between us? I can't answer that, because I don't know. I haven't experienced this before either. If you were a man, and we didn't work together, I'd have..." Jane looked down at her palms. "But I haven't, not since..." Jane closed her hands into fists, obscuring the scars from view. "And I really do like you. I don't take people I don't like to meet my Ma."

"But I am a woman, and we do work together."

"That's most of the appeal, to be honest. I wouldn't have shared a room with anyone else, let alone a bed. It's just you. I don't know what it is about you, but..." Jane reached out shyly and took Maura's hand. "But I'm not like this. Not with anyone. Even before... What happened... I'd wake up in the night if I was sleeping with someone, and my first thought would be to isolate the threat. You don't set off any of my threat sensors. Even when I'm asleep, even when I'm half asleep. I don't feel threatened. I feel... I feel safe."

Maura nodded, digesting the information. She too had the sense of safety that came with being held by Jane, she'd also woken in the night in a man's bed wondering where she was, needing to leave immediately. Maura knew she wasn't like this with anyone else as well, and that thought was terrifying. She needed this too much. She needed Jane too much. Already she was addicted to the way Jane felt in her arms, the way Jane's mouth curled into a smile against Maura's throat when Maura pulled her closer in the night. The feel of Jane's skin in the shower had been overwhelming - she'd tried to be removed and clinical, but her hands and eyes had noted the expanse of soft skin Jane had freely offered to Maura, unbothered by Maura's hands brushing her bare skin. It was so hard to pull away from Jane, but at some point she was going to have to. Not because half of BPD had seen Maura leave the hotel dining room with her arm around Jane's waist; Maura didn't care about other people's opinions on homosexuality. But because at some point Jane was finally going to look through her and see the person Maura truly was, and she was going to look away. Jane seemed to have built Maura up as some kind, compassionate woman, and Maura knew for herself that she couldn't live up to that. She knew she was cold and impersonal; it had been her armour for decades. Underneath that was a child longing to be held and praised and loved, and her neediness would surely make Jane question everything else she knew about Maura. It would be better to step away a little and let this ideal Maura that Jane thought she knew remain firm in Jane's mind, for fear Jane would see through and be disappointed. Be disgusted.

But was Maura strong enough? Jane was so compelling, the little smile on her lips, the curve exquisite. The gown, giving Maura a view of just enough skin to make her want to see more. How could she bear to put distance between them?

"I feel..." Maura couldn't lie. She couldn't say she didn't feel threatened by Jane, because the threat of Jane finding her out hung over her like a stormcloud. "I'm not like this," Maura said finally, standing up and walking to the bathroom to get dressed.

Jane didn't hate the Feds as much as she hated their attitudes. It was always the same in high-profile cases like this. She'd done all the work, and they swooped in and took all the credit. Jane didn't want to be on the news, but she at least wanted these Federal cases she worked on to have her name on case files, rather than a footnote. It annoyed her to see how they treated Lieutenant Keanally as inferior even though she outranked them, simply because she was Canadian on Massachusetts soil. She hated how they treated the children, as though they were adults who had the complexity and emotional maturity to be able to identify the people who had assaulted them. Fortunately the BPD presence at the hospital had been well tolerated, and Jane was able to get one of the doctors to sit in on the interviews, trusting her to keep the children safe from these big, intimidating men that fit the profile of the same people who'd abused them so thoroughly. She hated that she had to let this happen, that the Federal enforcement hadn't taken her recommendation to include at least one female agent in their task force. She felt angry and impotent. This was the part of the job she hated. She'd had a win, a really big one, her team working together well, and with one fell swoop the victims were being traumatised for no good reason. There were no official channels she could lodge a complaint through. Fortunately Lt. Keanally had temporary custody of the children, so she was able to stay with them during their interviews, calming Jane somewhat. The lab was still analysing data, so Jane headed for the van and the hospital outhouse they'd been assigned.

"We have more bodies," Maura said, looking up as Jane came in. "Following his path from Halifax to here, there's been two sites the cadaver dogs have reacted to so far."

"Dammit," Jane said. "Are you heading out there?"

"I'll be attending," Maura said. "But I won't be carrying out the autopsies myself, since they weren't in the Commonwealth. The FBI asked that I attend, for congruency."

"Oh." Jane sat down, looking over the temporary lab.

"Are you heading back to Boston?" Maura asked, aware that the staff were listening.

"I want to stay until the Feds leave," Jane said shortly. "Frost agrees. It's our collar, and we'll be taking him back to Boston with us. Chain of custody from there. Some of the parents have flown out to Albany, so we have to release the kids once they get here." Jane sighed. "While I wish we could keep them in the hospital longer, I think getting them home with their families will be better for them."

"I'm heading out on a bush hopper this afternoon," Maura said. "If I leave a key to my house in the room, would you be able to drop by my house and express mail some of my things to me in Littleton, New Hampshire? If I've moved on by the time you get back, I'll let you know.

"Of course. And, uh, Bass?"

"Could you get him some British strawberries?"

"Yeah, no problem. Not sure when we're heading back yet, though."

"Thank you," Maura said, and Jane realised she wouldn't see Maura for a few days. She realised that someone would be spelling Maura back in BPD, that she'd have to try to watch someone else carry out an autopsy. That she'd be sleeping alone again. Perhaps it was for the best. It would be healthy. It had barely been a month, and her fascination with Maura had only grown. After their discussion this morning, Jane realised she'd been too reliant of Maura to fill the gaps of her capability, that she'd become so entwined with Maura that perhaps some space would be welcome. But if she'd known that last night was the last night they'd spend together here, she would have... Well, her hands had been all but useless, but she would have... She'd have... Jane sighed, and Maura looked up, surprised at the way Jane was looking at her. Jane was so intense when she was focused, and she was focused now on Maura, her eyes sweeping Maura's body as though to lock it into her memory. She found herself blushing, something she hadn't done even as a teenager, looking around to check if the lab techs had noticed. "I'm sure I'll be back soon," Maura said softly.

When Jane got back to the room, her heart skipped. Maura was still here, packing. She had time. Time, and privacy. She closed the door behind her and leaned against it in relief for a moment.

"When are you flying?" Jane asked, looking at her watch.

"It's charter, so when I get there."

"Oh. Good." Jane had so many things she wanted to say - first of all an apology for ogling Maura in the shower last night. Second of all for not telling her how gorgeous she was until she'd ogled her. Third of all for being stoned on oxys when she'd told Maura she was gorgeous. Fourth of all, for not kissing her last night, when Maura's eyes had drifted to Jane's mouth. Jane found her eyes wandering to Maura's mouth, wondering why she hadn't just kissed her a week ago, under the streetlights across from the house she grew up in. Why she'd been so nervous then. Why she was so nervous now.

I'm used to being alone," Maura said, pulling a key from a key ring. "But you were good company."

Jane felt as though this was a goodbye, rather than just a casual parting, from what Maura had said. As though Maura regretted letting Jane get close, as though she was already pushing Jane away, as though she planned on distancing herself when she got back to Boston. The formality of the statement, the finality of her use of the past tense had Jane tied up in knots.

"I..." Jane looked down at the key in her hand. "I... I'm not used to being alone. But you're the best company I've ever kept." Jane was rewarded with a soft, wistful smile from Maura. "I mean it." Jane said uselessly, watching Maura sweep her few belongings into her bag. She swallowed. "I appreciate your assistance in regards to my injury," she said, hoping Maura would appreciate her formality. Maura looked up with a little smile, but her face was closed off. "Frost said I could drive you out, since it's not far to the airfield."

The drive was awkward, and Jane wracked her brains, trying to think of anything she'd said or done that could have cause this rift she felt between them. Something had changed, and even her powers of investigation couldn't discern what it was. Perhaps Maura had just slid back into work mode - she was a staunch professional. Perhaps she was mad - perhaps she felt too vulnerable, perhaps she thought she'd shared too much detail about her life, things she didn't normally reveal. Perhaps she was mad that Jane had looked at her in the shower like that, perhaps she felt like Jane had been preying on her this whole time. But Jane had been honest - as much as she was attracted to the shorter, golder woman, she valued her mind first and foremost, and her friendship second. If she never slept with Maura, she'd be disappointed - well, she had slept with her, but not the way she wanted to... But she had wanted to sleep with her like that as well, entwined in darkness, wrapped up in each other. It was too confusing. Perhaps Maura was facing all the same whirring thoughts, had nothing left for a conversation. Perhaps Maura was still processing the intensity of their relationship.

"This is me," Maura said finally, when Jane pulled up at the regional airport. Jane nodded, still looking forward, still thinking. Jane got out of the car and opened Maura's door, leaning on the car behind her when she closed it.

"I'll be back in Boston soon," Maura said, wondering why Jane was looking at her like that.

Jane pushed away from the car, letting one hand brush some of Maura's hair behind her ear, fingers soft against Maura's scalp. She raised her hand to Maura's temple, and this time slid her fingers down Maura's cheek, cupping Maura's jaw at the bottom, her eyes dark and focused as she leaned in. Maura half expected Jane to veer away to the side again, but Jane was determined, even though she hesitated a few inches away from Maura, checking in with her eyes locked on Maura's to confirm this was welcome, that Jane was allowed to continue. Whatever Jane saw in Maura's eyes made her smile as she leaned in again, pressing her lips softly against Maura's willing mouth. She felt Maura swallow, felt her relax, return the kiss as though this was their usual way of greeting and parting. Her lips were softer than Jane had imagined, than she remembered against the sensitive skin of the scars on her hands. Jane pulled away a little to meet Maura's eyes, which had drifted shut, opening slowly and meeting Jane's, her eyes wide as she processed new information. Jane leaned in again, and Maura met her halfway, hand finding the base of Jane's skull to hold her still for the long moment their lips met again. A chaste kiss, in terms of passion, in deference to the pilot wheeling his plane out of the hangar, but a kiss nonetheless. Jane pulled away again, kissed Maura's cheek and wrapped her arms around Maura.

"I'm gonna miss ya, ya know that, don't you?" Jane said, her voice rasping over the words. Maura nodded stiffly against Jane's shoulder, and Jane pulled away, embarrassed by her show of emotions. "Ok," Jane said, more for herself, grabbing Maura's travel bag from the back seat. "Ok. Um. Be safe, ok? Take care of yourself."

"I started catching planes on my own when I was 14, I'll be fine, Jane," Maura said, taking her bag. "Your concern has been noted."

The plane took off once Maura was aboard, and she looked out the window for as long as she could, looking back at an empty road, a parked car, and a woman with one hand raised until Massachusetts was out of sight. Jane had held her with all the reverence Maura usually reserved for books. Perhaps Maura had been wrong. Perhaps Jane needed Maura just as much as Maura needed her.

Notes:

I'm looking into flying a bushhopper. Or at least going for a joyride in one.