The Snugglegut Family

Fred and George were merrily re-enacting Charlie punching Bill out for Ginny, who squealed with delight every time the twin playing Bill hit the floor pulling a comical dazed face.

Percy was holding a pound of minced lamb to the bridge of Bill's nose - there hadn't been steak in the house for years as it was far too pricey - while Charlie paced back and forth, bouncing a snivelling Ronnie in his arms and trying to distract him with a game entitled 'count the dots on Charlie's face'.

"I didn't really hurt him, Ronnie," Charlie was saying as he wiped his little brother's tear-stained, pox ridden cheek, "we were just playing, like Fred and George are now."

Bill stared up at his brother and wished he had the mobility in his eyebrows to scowl at him right at that moment.

"Don't excuse violence as if it's a game, Charlie," Percy said scornfully as he stepped back from Bill to reach over and take Ronnie from his physically biggest brother.

"No!" Ronnie protested against leaving Charlie's arms for Percy's.

"He doesn't want you mothering him, Perce, leave him alone!" Charlie said as he tugged Ronnie back and held him tightly to his chest.

"You're not my mummy!" Ronnie said, sounding grumpy even muffled into Charlie's shoulder.

"This isn't a popularity contest, Char!" Bill snapped as he threw down the minced lamb to stare at Charlie through blackening eyes.

"Well if it was, you certainly wouldn't be in charge, panda boy!" Fred and George rolled about the floor laughing at that.

"Pandy boy!" Ginny yelled out with delight.

"Give him to me, I need to get the three of you seen to by a mediwitch," Bill huffed as he reached out his own arms for Ronnie.

"No!" Ronnie snapped again, clinging to Charlie so tightly that he almost strangled him, "I want my poxy brother!"

Fred and George laughed again.

"Well you're right there Ronnie, you've definitely got one of them. You have one hell of a poxy brother!" Bill yelled before stomping into the kitchen to floo for a general family mediwitch to make a house call.

Bill was fuming now. His head hurt, he had two black eyes and his nose felt as if it had dented. He threw a handful of floo powder into the fireplace to call for their family mediwitch. Madam Knight was very gentle, but also a total snitch, and Bill knew that news of his punch-up with Charlie would reach his mother and he'd be for it for fighting when he was supposed to be in charge of the babies. He snorted at the thought that at least Charlie would go down with him for that one.

They had been at each other's throats all summer long. It was easy to stay out of his way when they were at school, but now they were constantly in each other's faces and hating every minute of it. They had used to be so close, almost inseparable, but now it was as if they were strangers who were forced to reside under the same roof.

Charlie would always be bringing up the fact that the girls went giddy around Bill and that his mother was constantly rhapsodising about how beautiful he was to anyone who'd listen. Then Bill would have Charlie's build and height and general tough demeanour brought up by his friends whenever he had any trouble. 'Go and ask Charlie to sort them out for you'. 'Charlie'll kick their arses if you tell him'. 'How come Charlie looks so much older then you'?

How did you tell someone like Charlie to behave and leave the kids alone? How did you order him to help you out with the babies? How did someone like Bill tell someone like Charlie to shut his fat smug mouth and do as he's bloody well told?

Bill pulled his head out of the fireplace and turned around to see Charlie standing behind him, still holding Ronnie in his arms, with both eyebrows raised expectantly.

"Well?" he said.

"Well, what? She said she'd come as soon as she could," Bill shrugged before leaning in to Ronnie and taking his little hands in his own, "and she said you aren't allowed to scratch them no matter how itchy they get, alright?"

Ronnie looked back at Bill and blinked before pulling his hands away from him and burying his pink face into Charlie's shoulder without a sound. Bill stood upright and frowned at this odd behaviour from his youngest brother. He hadn't even said 'no' to him. Charlie was looking at Bill as if he'd gladly hit him again if he wasn't cradling a three year old with dragon pox at that moment.

"What's up with him?" Bill asked as he reached out to tickle Ronnie's cheek with his forefinger.

"Maybe he hasn't forgotten you threatening to smack him, you git!" Charlie spat back.

Bill let out a groan before rolling his eyes to the ceiling.

"Bloody Percy! Look I explained to him and Ronnie that I was only messing with him. I was stressed because you'd gone and left me with them all."

"So it's my fault you threatened to hit a three year old, is it?" Charlie said, looking bigger then usual.

"I didn't threaten him Char, shit, he's my baby brother; what do you think I am?"

"A git!" Charlie yelled.

Ronnie's face turned a little so his bloodshot eyes scowled at Bill, and he growled in his little angry fox cub way.

"Git!"

Bill smiled at Charlie and clapped his hands together patronisingly.

"So you've not only diseased him, but you've taught him how to swear as well. Well done Char, I couldn't have made matters any worse myself if I tried."

"Perce!" Charlie yelled, his eyes on fire with pent-up aggression.

Percy rushed into the kitchen looking wary.

"What?"

"Here," Charlie held Ronnie out to him, "take Ronnie next door to play with Ginny and the twins."

Ronnie was wriggling like a fish and still stark naked.

"No!" Ronnie protested.

"Do as you're told!" Charlie shouted at him and Ronnie froze before hanging passively in Percy's arms.

"Don't shout at him," Percy said before carrying Ronnie through to the living room.

"So you were about to tell me how out of line I was for losing my temper and snapping at the baby, Char?" Bill said as he folded his arms smugly.

Charlie's head dropped a little in shame before he gave Bill a firm shove in the chest and walked away after Percy.

"You, don't even joke about hitting the babies or I'll knock you into next Sunday," Charlie snarled.

Bill followed them through and stood in the doorway, out of everybody's way but able to oversee everything that was going on, while wondering how he would explain Ginny and Ronnie not being asleep in their beds yet. Percy was bouncing Ronnie on his knee and trying to distract him from scratching at the blisters on his face and neck by telling him a story about trolls. Ginny was yawning and fidgeting as Fred and George Spellotaped a pair of socks over her hands so she couldn't scratch while she slept. Bill smiled at this, he had to admire the five-year-olds' ingenuity.

Charlie was sitting beside Percy and Ronnie tentatively, obviously feeling like shit for shouting at Ronnie just now, and Bill had to remind himself just how much his face hurt in order to stop himself feeling sorry for the fat-headed git.

"Hey Fred, George," Bill called out to the twins as they began to make Ginny's sock-clad hands into sock puppets to keep her from tearing them off, "When you're done with Gin, could you do Ron as well?"

"Gin and Ron! Gin and Ron! Gin and Ron!" the twins began to chant.

Bill rolled his eyes again and cursed his slip-up. His eyes met Charlie's and he was surprised to see his brother smiling with some degree of sympathy.

"Mum's gonna kill you for that," he said with a shake of his head.

Their mum had a thing about two syllable names ending with an 'ie' sound. Billy, Charlie, Percy, Freddy, Georgie, Ronnie and Ginny were what they would all go by for the rest of their lives if their mother had her way. But 'Billy' sounded too childish and he'd introduced himself around school as Bill and mum had been all hurt about it. Then Charlie had started embracing his name in all its two-syllable glory, which was probably why Bill would shorten it to Char just to annoy him, and became the golden boy for a time. Percy had wanted to be called Percival, but nobody would, and again it was shortened to Perce just to get on his wick. Then the twins came along and immediately demanded they were Fred and George and would answer to no other version of their names.

Ronnie and Ginny were the last two who were still referred to by their mother's chosen name.

"Ron and Gin! Ron and Gin! Ron and Gin!" the twins chanted even louder.

The first thing their mother would ask when she heard them calling their little brother and sister this was 'Where did you get that from?' and they would gladly point right at Bill and ruin the rest of his summer.

Ronnie was hugging Percy - Bill thought that both babies really needed to go to bed and hoped that the mediwitch would show up to see to them soon - while his little face was directed at Charlie. Charlie chanced an uneasy smile before pushing his big strong finger underneath Ronnie's hand and wriggling it.

"Sorry I shouted at you little man. I think the spots are making me grumpy," he winced apologetically.

Bill couldn't see Ronnie's face but he did see his little fingers curling around Charlie's finger as his tentative smile broke into a wide grin.

"Thanks mate," he said as he leaned forward to plant a kiss on the top of Ronnie's head.

Charlie frowned as he pulled back and then ran his fingers through Ronnie's hair.

"What is it?" Bill said, stepping into the room with concern.

"Poor little sod's got them under his hair as well," Charlie sighed while Ronnie put his had up to feel, "No don't scratch 'em, mate, you don't want scabs under your hair, it's horrible."

"They're under yours, too, Charlie," Bill said as he leaned over his brother's head, "loads of 'em."

"Oh crap!" Charlie grumbled while feeling his scalp with his fingertips.

"Crap!" Fred yelled with his arms aloft.

Bill looked to Charlie ruefully and shook his head.

"Can this night get any worse?"

Bill hated it when he jinxed things like that.

"Be a good boy now, Ronnie, and leave the spots alone until the mediwitch gets here," Percy was fussing as he grabbed Ronnie's wrists to prevent him feeling around for more blisters on parts of his body he couldn't see.

"No!" Ronnie snapped and tried to kick away from Percy with both feet.

"Ronnie, no kicking, that's very naughty!" Percy said, sounding almost exactly like their mother, Bill thought.

"I don't want medibitch poking me!" Ronnie protested.

Bill and Charlie glared at each other at the same moment before blurting out the same three sentences.

"That was not me! It wasn't you? Then who..." both of them looked to the twins where they rolled about on the floor laughing, "...you!"

"Ronnie, you must never say that again, do you hear?" Percy was saying to his squirming baby brother, sitting him up forcibly but as gently as he could, "That's a horrible thing to say about Madam Knight after all the nice things she's done for you."

"She gives me yucky potions, she's a medibitch!" Ronnie said as he rather unfortunately kneed Percy in the groin while struggling to wriggle free of him.

"Ouch!" Charlie cringed while crossing his own legs and looking away.

"Quick, Perce, give him here," Bill said with a great deal of sympathy while the twins laughed so hard that they were going quite an alarming shade of puce.

Percy was still holding on to Ronnie, quite valiantly, while his eyes watered and his face looked as if it was paralysed.

"No," Percy strained, "it's fine. I've got him."

"Get off!" Ronnie was clambering over Percy's shoulder now.

Bill moved to catch his little brother, but Percy regained his second wind, pulled Ronnie back onto his sore lap and looked him right in the eye.

"You are being a very naughty boy tonight," Percy said sternly, "and if I were mum I'd tell you that you couldn't have any chocolate for a week!"

"Calm down, Perce," Charlie said, as if Percy had threatened to disown Ronnie and sell him into slavery.

"Yeah," Bill said with a small chuckle, "I think you're taking the role of surrogate mother a bit too seriously now."

"He's not my snugglegut mummy!" Ronnie said with his grumpiest expression yet.

It was the absolute worst thing for any of them to do right then and there but their baby brother's face was just too priceless to fight against and Bill and Charlie were lost to the giggles.

"'S not funny!" Ronnie slithered down between Percy's legs and scampered towards the open door.

There was a bright green light glowing from the kitchen door and Ronnie turned and ran right back into the living room.

"The medibitch is here!"

Percy caught Ronnie and held onto him tightly while Ronnie hit out at him wildly and tried to wriggle free to find somewhere to hide from Madam Knight.

"Ronnie, don't be scared, I'll be here the whole time," Percy was saying by way of reassurance.

"Don't want snugglegut mummy, I want my real mummy!" Ronnie said, getting himself quite worked up now.

"Hey come on, ya little whippet," Charlie said, banishing his amusement for good on seeing how genuinely distressed Ronnie seemed to be at the prospect of a mediwitch looking him over with her wand.

"Hello?" the voice of Madam Knight called through from the kitchen.

Bill ran through to welcome her and explain that Ronnie was a little out of sorts.

"He's just tired and itchy," Bill smiled to the woman as he took her cloak and hung it on the banister while she walked ahead of him into the living room.

Charlie was presenting Ginny to her while Percy had his head underneath their mother's knitting chair, only his backside visible, as he tried to locate the hidden Ronnie.

"Well, from what I remember, his last encounter withme involved a portion of missing tongue and an acid pop," Madam Knight said with a shake of her head in the direction of the grinning twins, "To be fair to the little tyke, that was quite an unpleasant treatment he had to go through to fix him up like new again."

Charlie handed Ginny over to Madam Knight before scratching his head with his now free hand. Madam Knight slapped his hand and gave him a disapproving tut.

"Now come on Charles, what kind of example is that to set the little ones," she scolded, "You won't get a lollypop at the end if you don't behave."

Charlie's face lit up on hearing this.

"Ooh, we get lollies?"

Bill clasped his hand to his mouth and struggled not to laugh out loud.

"Has he come back out again?" Percy's voice sounded from beneath the chair, he pulled his head out to look around the living room with a frown, "I can't..." he looked back under again, "He's not back there anymore."

George gasped dramatically and pointed to the curtains as they blew in the gentle breeze.

"Window's open!"

Bill and Charlie looked at each other, the blood draining from both their faces, before running to the open window. They stood on either side of Percy.

"Oh shit!" Bill breathed as he peered out into the darkness and couldn't see his little brother anywhere.

"I'm sorry," Percy whimpered, "I'm sorry I forgot about the window. I didn't think he was big enough to get out that way."

"Ronnie!" Charlie bellowed out into the darkness, "Ronnie, we get lollies this time. It's a nice medibit...mediwitch this time!"

"Oh shit!" Bill whimpered.

"Ronnie gone!" Ginny said cheerily from Madam Knight's arms.

"Oh shit!" Bill said, forgetting how to breathe now, "Mum's gonna kill me!"

"Boys!" Madam Knight called out in a calm but strong tone, "I'll watch the little ones, you three go and find him. He's probably hiding in your broom shed or something. Don't panic, William!"

Bill looked at the wise old woman and shook his head frantically.

"I'm not," he squeaked.

"C'mon," Charlie said as he grabbed Bill's arm and dragged him towards the front door, Percy hot on their heels.