The story got a little mature last chapter but I couldn't stop typing what came to my head. Hope you all enjoyed it.

I thought a lot about who would make Rita an interesting husband here it goes. It's an odd match but let's see where it takes us.

Harry Potter and Co. belong to Rowling. (and I still can't get over it)

Chapter 12. Rita Skeeter, The Day After, Ron.

Rita sat at her desk readying her story on Harry Potter's Wedding while trying to ignore her impending one.

In three days time she would become Mrs. Rita Noseburger, what an atrocious name. Still, she had to marry just like everyone else or she would be out of the Wizarding World and nothing was going to bring that about.

When she had gotten back from the Minister's interview, she had checked the paper herself and found her name along side Howard Noseburger's, whoever he was with a date and time. She would be married at noon in three days. She was not a happy camper and had tried to put off thinking about her husband to be.

She knew nothing of him except his name and that he preferred to live in the country and that he had recently sold his home and was looking for a new one. He had sent her a brief note saying he would be out of town until the wedding. Howard hadn't bother to contact her again and she was not the least bit upset, they would probably meet on the day of the wedding do what had to be done and get on with their lives. If she could just get rid of the warts Potter or his wife had hexed her with before the happy occasion things would be well enough.

Rita Skeeter was a career woman and quite frankly she had no intention of anything disrupting her life. Was she in for a surprise!

Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Harry rolled over moaning and curled up tightly willing his headache to disappear, it did not. He opened his eyes in the dark room and blinked trying to clear his vision. Everything seemed out of focus. He closed his eyes and tried to sleep again but was awaken by a weight on his shoulder. He tried moving but couldn't so he looked over and saw the most beautiful hair resting on him and then he remembered everything!

He felt his face get warm and as the details came back to him. He gulped and tried moving carefully so as not to wake Anasstassia up. That hit a tailspin when he sneezed loudly.

Anasstassia had been dreaming of potions, of sneezes, green eyes, and long kisses when she was awakened by one of the loudest sneezes she had ever heard. Sitting up quickly she looked around and saw Harry reaching for a handkerchief on the night table.

Harry blew his nose soundly, and felt his head exploding again. When he turned back, he saw his wife fully awake sitting next to him the silk sheet had slipped down to her waist and he was rewarded with a full view of her unclothed body. His wife looked back at him; she was obviously not the shy type taking her time with her robe. Harry tried to think of Neville's toad to get himself under control. It would not do for him to start something as ill as he felt.

Anastassia shook her head in amusement. Really, men had no self control. She slowly reached over for her robe and slipped it on before her husband collapsed trying to make love to her. Their encounter had been awesome but it was time to get to work and judging by Harry's state, she had a lot of work. She could see two more hexes placed on him and a poltergeist, a schoolgirl with glasses and pig tails floating back and forth in the corner of the bedroom carrying a photograph of Harry on a broom.

"Lie down and rest. I don't want you out of this bed." Voiced Anasstassia firmly.

"Yes Poppy." Answerd Harry and lay down. Boy she could be bossy!

"Who Harry?"

"Poppy…. the medi-witch at Hoggwarts." He mumbled lying down.

"Harry? (When Harry did not answer, she tried again.) Harry?"

Harry had closed his eyes trying to ignore his wife.

"HARRY" she shouted.

"Yes!" He shouted opening his eyes, Merlin what a nag!

Anasstassia walked over to his side of the bed and opened her robe. "Do I look like Poppy!" she asked.

Harry saw his wife open her robe and was again presented to a view he would never forget.

"Do I Harry?" Prompted Anasstassia

"Ah…no."

"Good. Please remember that next time you think it's funny to call me by another woman's name."

"She's 50!" he told her and sneezed again.

"I don't care if she's a 150. Do it again and I'll slip you a pregnancy potion!" She hissed closing her robe. "Then you will be carrying the children. Remember Wizard's can get pregnant just as easily, especially powerful ones, so you qualify. I'll be in the dressing room." She announced apparating from the room.

Harry opened his mouth but shut it again. What was the use? He closed his eyes, turned over and tried to sleep. He'd handle her when he felt better. Never let them see you coming.

He shut his eyes and was just about dozing off when he heard shouting, running and doors being thrown open. The noise seemed to be getting closer suddenly his doors were thrown wide apart.

Harry shot up in bed and saw Ron standing at the threshold of his bedroom.

"Harry you've got to help me! You just gotta!"

Harry rubbed his head so much for "rest and sleep".

Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Moony lay comfortably on the bed his arms draped over his wife. He had definitely gotten out for the mating and as hard as Remus had tried to rein him in, the mutt had simply refused to go. Remus had battled with the wolf to remain part of this important moment. In the end they had grudgingly tried to balance out the time. It had kind of worked.

Alessandra sat with Remus's head on her lap. Her fingers running through his hair she was awake her mind working on her next step. The mating had been like nothing she might have ever imagined, she hoped it would happen again. Damn her husband was right she was a tart, well a little one.

She thought back at the dinner they had had the night before and was amazed at how childish she had behaved. She had married someone of good character albeit he was not as cunning or conniving as she would have liked but that was fine she would just be the cunning and conniving one. Good thing Remus had accepted the dowry. Too bad he would be the one handling the money well for now at least. She would have to start on that soon. But first thing was how to get him a post with enough standing, that would require her father's help and of course, her brother's. Thank Merlin for Harry! Of course how to get her husband to accept the post. That would take some thinking…

Remus moved slightly breaking her train of thought. She looked down to see a set of golden eyes staring up at her. She smiled at him careful not to show any teeth, the wolf might consider it threatening.

Remus looked up at Alessandra and wondered what in the world she was up to so soon in the marriage. He knew she would be a handful. He could easily make her cower but he didn't want to and just knowing that he could was enough for him. She was ambitious, a Snape after all. She was smart and part of him wanted to let her do what she wanted, part of him wanted to dominate her, part of him just wanted to love her. He was in pretty pickle. He knew none of those things would happen. He would have to settle for a combination of all three. Merlin he was too old for this. Moony howled in protest.

"Penny for your thoughts."

"A what?"

"It's an American saying. Means I'd love to know what you're thinking." Explained Remus.

"Oh just thinking of our future. Children, how to be a good wife, things like that…"

"Really?"

"Yeah, really"

"Well then I guess I'm in good hands." Said Remus laughing.

"You will always be in good hands Remus. Snapes never hurt their mates either."

"Is that so, then what happened to your mother?" Remus had heard the stories.

"Mother had no honor Remus and I'm ashamed to admit it. I love her and her memory but the best thing she ever did was leave us with Father before she caused more problems."

"Your father turned her over to the Ministry."

"She had it coming. That's all I will say. I would never turn you over to the Ministry not even if you bit the Minister himself, that would mean Azkhaban and dementors."

Moony whimpered and Remus gulped nervously. The woman had a way with words.

"Well that's good to know."

"Unless you are unfaithful." She added offhandedly.

"Excuse me?"

"I don't think I could tolerate it."

"That's good too know too." Remus said staring at her something inside him told him she would do it too no and, or, buts about it.

Alessandra looked at Remus and smiled sweetly, this time some of her beautiful small teeth showed. Moony half growled half whimpered inside him.

Seconds later a loud noise downstairs broke the nervous silence that had settled over both of them. Remus and Alessandra got into their robes quickly and walked downstairs wands in hand to investigate.

"Where is he? Where is he?" Screamed a young and not very pretty looking girl at the bottom of the stairs.

"Who are you and what are you doing in our home?" Asked Alessandra.

"Ron Weasley! We're supposed to be married and he ran off! He left me a letter saying he wouldn't marry me!" the girl screamed waving a piece of parchment in the air.

"You're his best friend's God father you have to know where he is." The girl said pointing at Remus. Alessandra stepped in front of Remus quickly.

"I'm sorry MIssbut I don't." said Remus trying to pull his wife aside but she wasn't budging.

"I am a Lady Sir." Corrected the girl insulted.

"Pardon me I didn't mean any disrespect. But I don't know where he is." Geez women had screwy priorities.

"But you know Harry POTTER AND THAT'S HIS BEST FRIEND AND HE HAS TO KNOW ABOUT MY RON!" the girl said falling to the floor where she lay in heap of inconsolable tears.

The banshee inside wailed in pain at the girls tears and Alessandra felt her own eyes swelling. Before Remus could stop her Alessandra walked over, pulled her into her arms, and held her…..the girl sobbed uncontrollably. Remus walked out quietlyto try and contact Harry. So much for the honeymoon.

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Can anybody guess who's SKEETER'S significant other is?

Chapter 13. the Weasleys, Noseburgers, and the Snapes