Luikaki: Chibi Envy is so cute!

Episode 50 – Part 2

Envy was fixated on that huge-ass snake, only able to stare like an idiot at it as it dove right at him, fangs ready to rip him apart.

"Idiot! Get out of the way!" Ed shrieked. He stopped his assault on Dante and raced to Envy's rescue. The plan was to shove Envy out of the way and block the snake with his halberd, but Envy clung onto Ed so they both fell again. The snake's face crashed into the ground, breaking the halberd and fracturing Ed's automail arm.

Envy screamed in horror. "Your arm! It's bending the other way!" He started to cry and hugged Ed. "You're gonna be alright! Don't worry, I'm not lying – you're gonna die!"

Ed didn't know there was something wrong with his arm because, well, he can't feel it. "Huh? I'm fine…"

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Really really?"

"Yes!" Then Ed looked at his arm. "Oh shit! No I'm not!" He could just imagine how Winry would react.

"Ed, you retarded bastard!" Winry would say, holding a razor in her hand in place of a wrench because Ed's mind is kinda stuck on imagining her shaving her legs. And Armstrong is in the background, too.

"This shaving technique has been passed down the Armstrong line for generations!" Armstrong would say. Yeah, that sounds like him.

Then Roy walked into Ed's mind wearing nothing but a towel and holding a razor. "Hey, can I join you guys?"

Ed shook his head violently. "Oh hell no! Get out of my mind!"

Envy tapped Ed's shoulders. "So what are we gonna do about that snake?"

Ed had a plan. "You get Dante. I'll deal with the snake." Envy nodded and dashed towards Dante, who was busy controlling the snake, so maybe Envy had a chance with not screwing this up.

Ed clapped his normal arm with his crippled automail arm, touched the ground, and forced the snake back into what it originally was.

"Stop being mean!" Envy whined at Dante. He pulled her hair, which led Dante to do the same to him.

"You ass!" Dante shrieked. "You're ruining everything!" She scratched Envy's face. Then she looked at the still depressed Gluttony at the corner and called to him. "Kill Envy, you useless sack of lard!"

That hurt Gluttony badly. "I'm not fat! Where's Lust? Where'd Lust go?" He started again.

Wrath and Rose went to try to cheer the poor abused Gluttony up. "Don't listen to Dante!" Wrath told him. "She's a bitch!"

Rose nodded in agreement. "Yes, she shouldn't be taken seriously."

Dante heard this, of course. She ended her catfight with Envy by telling him, "Time out. I'll be right back."

"Okay!" Envy replied too happily. He moved away from Dante.

"What? No!" Ed yelled. He ran towards Dante and Envy. Dante quickly clapped her hands and created a wave out of the ground that wrapped itself around poor Ed.

"You're going to stay there!" Dante spat at the trapped Ed. She turned to Gluttony, Rose, and Wrath. "And you brats better make sure he doesn't escape or I'll kill you all." Then she looked at Envy, who was just swaying idly. "Now without further interruption, I'm continuing my plans." She left the room. To Al's.

"Damn it! Someone help me!" Ed yelled. He looked at Rose, then at Wrath. Both shook their heads in fear of Dante killing them. Ed sighed. "Envy . . ."

Envy perked up. "You need me? But..." He shied back. "I don't wanna get Dante mad!"

Ed bit his lips in trying to come up with a plan. He came up with something brilliant: "Listen, Envy. There's a shiny penny in my pocket. And I'd love to give it to you if I wasn't stuck between the ground here."

Envy's eyes lit right up. He didn't even know what a penny was, but Ed had him at the word shiny. "Okay, I'll get you out!" Envy declared. He turned one of his arms into a drill and… hmm, maybe Ed's asking too much of him.

Luikaki: Everyone should watch the chibi OVA!