Chapter Five – In which an unlikely collaboration between man and beast leads to unexpected dividends.

A couple of hours later Gaspode was leading Carrot down the maze of alleys that marked the quickest way to the Guild.
'I'm not sure about this,' said Carrot. 'I don't have the knack for undercover work.'
'Well no,' said Gaspode. 'You're still in your armour, for one thing. On the other foot, I can't imagine Mr Vimes trusting Nobby with all the petty cash. And you understand me and can therefore hear my prudent advice.'
'And that's... an advantage?'
'I've got my nose to the ground, pal. You just concentrate on acting like you need to spend that money.'

Carrot rapped on the door, and was admitted by a man with a tweed suit but no shoes. 'Welcome to the Guild of Gamblers,' the man said. 'My name is Thomas Lock, and I control the tables.'
Carrot nodded, doing his best to look shifty. 'Er... I'm Cap- Carrot, and I've got some money, and I'd like to win some more,' he said.
'Right you are, Captain.' Carrot flinched. 'That is, Mr Carrot. Don't worry, we are the father of discretion here.'
'Right up until you take people's clothes,' said a low voice.
The man looked puzzled for a moment, then continued. 'We have roulette in this direction, cards through the arch, and a large lounge to discuss any other matters relating to The Lady.'
Gaspode waggled his head for a moment, catching scents. 'They're in the lounge.'
'I think a game of roulette to start with, ' said Carrot loudly. As he followed the man he looked back at Gaspode and tilted his head towards the lounge.
'Oh yes,' said Gaspode. 'Very subtle I don't think.' He called after Carrot, 'And don't lose all your money or they'll kick you out.'
He looked around the lobby. No one seemed to be paying him much attention. There were two men, busy adding Carrot's details to a tally chart on a blackboard. Apparently there had been six men with blue eyes, but only two people over six foot. And one person with a leg missing. Gaspode crept towards the lounge, and found himself a spot where he could observe the two gamblers he'd seen earlier. The spot happened to be right by the fire, but that was just a coincidence.

Of course, when warm Gaspode's odour was a little more mobile, and it wasn't long before the nearest of the men turned around and saw him. 'Hey Max,' he said. 'It's that dog again. He must have found a way in.'
Gaspode trotted up to him and whined pathetically. 'I'm undercover, ' he muttered to himself. 'I'm a hard bitten police dog and this is part of my tough job.' He sat down, leaning again the man's leg.
'Hey, he's giving me a cuddle,' said the man, rubbing Gaspode's ears. Gaspodes licked the man's hand and then lay down on his foot and closed his eyes. 'He's falling asleep.'
'You ought to wake him up then, and chuck him out. I told you before, we aren't allowed pets.'
'No one'll see him in the shadows under the table, and he looks so tired. I'll just let him rest for a bit.'
'Fancy a game of something?'
'As long as I don't have to move.'
'I'll see what I can find.' Max wandered off, and game back after a few minutes with a box. 'Dominoes suit you?' he said.
'Sure.'

Gaspode heard the clinking of a money being piled up, and then the tapping of tiles. Apparently people didn't talk when playing dominoes. He was just beginning to doze of for real when he smelt soap, and raised his head in time to see Carrot enter the room, accompanied by a very smartly dressed man. 'Can I get you a drink, sir?' the man said.
Carrot thought for a moment. 'Could I have a bottle of wine please? And I seem to have misplaced my dog – oh no, there he is.'
He headed over to Gaspode's table. 'Thank you gentlemen, for looking after my friend Gaspode.'
Max looked up sharply, then saw the attendant, and where Carrot was looking. 'Oh, the dog,' he said. 'Yes, he's been quite safe.'
'Please, allow me to share a drink with you, in thanks.'
Art said 'but-' and then saw Max nod towards the attendant. 'Oh, yes, thanks.'
'Best call the game a draw then,' said Max, sweeping the tiles away quickly.
'Hey,' said Art, 'that's not-' and then stopped again.
Carrot beamed as the wine was brought over. 'I hope I'm not disturbing you gentlemen?'
'Not at all,' said Max smoothly. 'I trust you've had a pleasant evening?'
'I have made a small profit, yes,' said Carrot, pouring them each a glass. 'But I see you've also done well. Have you been at the tables?'
'Oh no,' said Max. 'We live at the guild, so we don't tend to use the public tables.'
'Run them sometimes,' added Art.
'Ah, said Carrot, 'I misunderstood. You have been saving your wages then?'

There was a shocked silence, and then Art began to choke on his wine.
Max put down his glass, and said slowly, 'we, Sir, are members of the Guild of Gamblers. We do not draw wages.'
'Sorry, ' said Carrot. 'I just thought that you'd earned-'
'Ain't earnings,' spluttered Art. 'They're winnin's.'
'Winnings?' said Carrot.
Max nodded. 'We're part of a small team that takes unorthodox bets.'
Carrot groaned, and a voice from under the table muttered, 'like undercutting the assassins and living?'
'Max continued. We got recruited by the original member, and he gives us our share of the winnings if we managed to... bring about unlikely occurrences.'
'And you just won a bet.'
'First one. It was a sort of trial.'
'What was the task?'
It- I'd better not say.'
'But you succeeded.'
Yes, but – hang on. Why are you so interested anyway?'
Carrot tried to think quickly. 'I...'
'He's a copper,' said Art. 'They're paid to stick their noses in.'
'No, I,' stuttered Carrot.
'Good grief,' said Gaspode. 'Just say you want to bet on them.'
'It's just that I'm interested in placing a bet,' said Carrot gratefully. 'Only, you see, it's a bit embarrassing. I'm supposed to set a good example.'
Suspicions were no match for his honest smile. 'Right,' said Max. 'Well, you'd have to have a word with our leader... what do you think, Art?'
'If Gaspode likes him, I like him.'
'Fine. Meet us here tomorrow at seven.'

'Some undercover policeman you are,' complained Gaspode as they walked back.
'I did warn you. Besides, it worked.'
'Only just. Still, you did a good job pretending to be rich.'
Carrot opened the door to the Watchhouse. 'I didn't have to pretend.'
'What?' said Gaspode. 'You really did win lots of money?'
Carrot emptied his pockets onto the table, and Gaspode froze. 'You mean we just walked across Ankh Morpork carrying enough gold to buy a small house?'
'Yes.' Carrot bent down to look at Gaspode. 'Are you alright? You're not moving.'
'I think I've just had a stroke. Please put the money out of sight. Now.'