Author's note: This has nothing to do with the story but for people who watched Buffy, I have a question: How did she get her telekinetic communication thing that she has with Xander and Willow? And are they the only one or is there someone else too? I'd be grateful if someone can PM me the answer to this little trivia piece. Thanks!
Oh, and if I got the facts wrong in this chapter about the vampire invite thing – my sis says it has to be the owner – please don't flame me about it. Thank you to those who've enjoyed it so far and reviewed!

The story so far: Wesley was taken into the custody of an old woman after she identifies him as her missing cat. Later that night, evil vampire kitty Wes! Grr…

Chapter 5: I Shall Rule The World, Please

Lindsey grumbled as he drove to his next destination. He was on the Special Projects Division and yet here he was running errands for Holland on small time cases of evictions and some other useless things. Maybe he should just quit and pursue his career as a small-time singer in some unknown bar. But seeing as he currently works in Wolfram and Hart, that would be like saying one day Lilah might be genuinely nice to him – never gonna happen; not in this lifetime or the next.

Lindsey parked next to an apartment building and took out the folder of his next client – Mrs. Fern, 63, lives alone with her cat, suing a diner for serving her meat in her vegetarian. Lindsey sighed and got out of the car, hoping to get it over with soon.

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"Keh keh keh keh…"

The only lights on in the apartment were coming from the kitchen and tinkering sounds could be heard as pans and other utensils banged against each other. Wesley jumped up onto the countertop and opened the top cupboard, giving a tiny 'Eureka!' when he found what he was looking for.

Jumping up to reach the ingredients, Wesley's tiny body bumped into the whole rack and little bottles of spices dropped loudly to the floor and rolled away in various directions, although thankfully none of them broke. Jumping off, Wesley went for the one labeled 'Prune Powder' and put it in his mouth, carrying it towards a mixture in a pot on the floor and dumping in the whole thing. A few seconds passed and nothing happened when suddenly it started to boil and steam without the necessity of fire. An evil laugh and something that sounded like 'bubble, bubble, toil and trouble' passed Wesley's lips as he watched with glee.

Incanting a few words, the overhead lights flickered momentarily before everything calmed back down. Wesley looked at his improvised potion – it's amazing what you can do with every day household ingredients – and smirked in approval, looking not unlike the Grinch while rubbing his paws together.

At that instant, there was a knock at the door. Wesley's head shot up but the old woman was still sleeping deeply. Turning his attention to the knock, Wesley blinked, and then slowly grinned. It seems he has found his first victim.

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Lindsey waited by the door and was just about to knock again when it opened slowly, complete with the dramatic creaking. Coming inside, he found that it was mostly dark and no one greeted him. Lindsey sensed that something wasn't right but shrugged it off and called out, "Mrs. Fern? My name is Lindsey, I'm your lawyer. I'm here about the suit…" but before he could finish, he felt something fall hard on his head from behind and was instantly knocked out.

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"According to my source, she should be living here in apartment 101a." Angel said. He and Gunn were staring at the building looming in front of them.

"Is this the same guy who recommended that magician of yours?" Gunn asked.

Angel looked a bit embarrassed before replying, "No, he's a P.I. – he's legit."

Gunn grimaced. "Ok, one – never ever say it like that again and two, we might actually have to start doing some of this detective work ourselves."

Angel shrugged and at that moment, the passenger door opened and Cordelia got out with a determined look in her face, "Come on guys, what are you standing around for?" She walked past them before turning around and putting her hands on her hips.

"Cordy, you didn't have to come." Angel told her. "You should've stayed with Fred."

"What, and let you two dorks screw this up?" She said brashly. They looked at her with skepticism and after a few seconds, she caved. "Ok, I know you guys will all say that it wasn't my fault but, I still feel kinda responsible. I want to be there." She said.

Angel smiled and said, "Let's go get Wes."

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Gunn broke the door down and he and Cordelia entered. Angel came afterwards but was stopped at the doorway by the barrier.

"Guys." Angel said.

"Oh, yeah, sorry. Come in." Gunn said. Looking around, he said, "At least we know the old lady's still alive."

"Yeah, where is that old pet snatcher?" Cordelia said.

Suddenly, a voice boomed. "I'm afraid," it said, "she's a bit tied up at the moment." Just then, the lights flashed on and they saw Wesley perched on top of a high shelf looking down at them with a smug look.

He jumped down gracefully onto the floor, keeping his superior gaze fixed upon the group. "But she's fine… for now. You see, I have perfected the next phase of my master plan to rule the world. You will bow down before me eventually. Why not start now and skip all the unnecessary pain later?"

"Whatever. You're coming with us, cat." Gunn said.

"Hmm, quite a rogue one." Wesley tsked. Then, quickly narrowing his eyes, he said, "You will regret having angered me, all of you. I, the powerful, the mighty, the unbelievably adorable, will destroy you! When I rule this world, I will – hack!" He stopped abruptly.

"Hack?"

Wesley hissed. "I will – hack – will – hack! – wheeze."

Cordelia frowned. "Are you choking?"

""I will" wheeze "rain down" wheeze wheeze "indescribable" wheeze "terror!" Wesley finished, finally spitting out what was stuck in his throat.

It stopped a few feet in front of the group and Cordelia wrinkled her face and said repulsively, "Eww, fur ball!"

Wesley tasted his tongue a few times before saying, "Believe me, missy. No-one's more disgusted than I am."

"Get him!" Gunn shouted. They scrambled for him and in the confusion Gunn easily grabbed him and picked him up in his arms.

Wesley's eyes widened in surprise and he began to struggle. "Unfair! Unfair, unfair, do-over!"

"Hell no." Gunn said dramatically, trying to keep the squirming Wesley from escaping.

"Slave guy! Initiate Operation Take Out!" Wesley screeched.

"Slave guy? Who-"

Suddenly, the lights were switched off and the apartment was once again covered in darkness. Instantly, a cloud of foreign powder from an unknown source fell upon them in the masses, unconsciously making Gunn let go of Wesley in this momentary distraction.

"What the – achoo!" Gunn cut short what he was about to say as he sneezed loudly. That triggered a chain reaction from the group and it seemed as though they wouldn't be able to stop.

"It's pepper!" Angel choked out eventually.

"No, really? 'Cause I thought it was pixie dust!" Gunn said sarcastically.

The lights flashed on again, Cordy standing by the switch, and their sneezing gradually subsided into the occasional sniffling. "Where's Wes?" She asked at last. They looked around to find that he was nowhere to be seen and the dread came when they realised what happened.

Yes, he escaped.

"Damn." Said Gunn.

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Lindsey entered his car and put on his seatbelt before driving off heading back to his place. Mrs. Fern was just going to have to wait for the moment – he had a world to help rule.

The tiny body in the passenger seat next to him continued its instructions. "And remember; don't let my body out during the day before I get rid of this soul."

"Alright, Wesley."

"It's 'Master'. But since you're my first slave and my right-hand person, you get special honours." Wesley pondered before saying, "Call me… Tito."

"…"

"You don't think it's too flashy, do you?"

"Not at all. Very… yeah."

"…" Blink blink.

"…" Cough.

"…" Scratch scratch.

"…" Twitch.

"…Slave person?"

"Yeah?"

"Feed me."

"…Tuna?"

"Yech."