Chapter Six – In which the faithful companion finds himself temporarily replaced, while the Watchmen begin to fret
Sergeant Colon shook his head. 'It's not natural,' he said.
'Sarge?' asked Nobby.
'I mean, if you won a shedload of money you'd keep it, wouldn't you.'
Nobby thought for a moment. 'Is that one of those trick questions where I say 'yeah' and you say 'aha, now we've got you' and take me off to Mr Vimes?'
'No, it's one of those questions where the answer's so bleeding obvious you don't have to say it. Except that Captain Carrot thinks otherwise. Just because he was on police work he says it police money.'
'But he's always on police work, ' said Nobby.
'Exactly. And that is setting a dangerous president.'
'A what?'
Colon sighed. 'If he gives all his legitimate winnings to the Watch, people might expect us to.'
'But we never win anything, Sarge.'
'We might one day. And if I win a bucket of gold I won't be donating it to buy a secret imp in a hat.'
Commander Vimes was in his office with Captain Carrot, trying to understand this piece of equipment.
'So there's an iconograph in it?'
'Yes sir. A miniature one with an extra small imp in.'
'And you get the imp to take pictures of the suspects?'
'Yes. And at the same time it can memorise everything that's said.'
'Good grief. How long will it take to learn to use it?'
'Already done sir. You tell it when to start and stop remembering, and every time you tap the hat it paints an iconograph, up to a maximum of ten at a time.'
'Ten?'
'That's how many canvases'll fit in.'
'I see... and you're going to take it out to meet the gamblers?'
'I thought it might help us identify the mystery employer.'
Vimes nodded, although privately he thought that if even Captain Carrot couldn't recognise the man, the rest of the Watch had no chance. Carrot, after all, knew everyone.
'So,' said Gaspode, as he and Carrot walked over to the Gambler's Guild, 'what's the plan? Wing it, same as yesterday?'
'Not quite,' said Carrot. 'You can't come.'
Gaspode stopped and drew a deep breath for a torrent of righteous indignation, but Carrot was already talking. 'I appreciate your help, but this time I'm recording the conversation.'
'So?'
'So, what if the imp can hear you? It'll report what you say back to the rest of the Watch, and they'll know you can talk.'
Gaspode thought for a moment. 'I could keep quiet...'
Carrot pointedly didn't answer.
'Alright, point taken. But are you going to manage on your own?'
'I expect I'll cope. I may even have time to think in the pauses of a conversation.'
Gaspode snorted. 'I bet my thoughts are more interesting though. And I helped you when they got suspicious.' He sat down. 'I may as well wait here.'
He watched Carrot walk away, and hated himself for it. He was even more irritated when he couldn't bring himself to leave his position, even to follow Mr Dibbler's sausage in a bun tray.
Carrot came back an hour later, his face serious.
'Did you find anything out?'
'Yes,' said Carrot slowly. 'A couple of interesting things.'
'Did you recognise their boss?'
Carrot paused. 'You know, I'm sure I did, but I can't work out who he is. I've seen him somewhere, though.'
'And did they notice you recording them?'
'The waiter did snigger a bit at the size of my hat, but no, I don't think they realised. I tapped it as surreptitiously as I could.'
'In that case they def'nitely noticed. What's the next bet?'
'For them to get inside the palace for two hours without getting caught.'
'Sounds dodgy to me.'
'And me, but I can't see what's going to happen.'
'How they doin' it?'
'Dressing up as statues an standing somewhere out of the way.'
'That's ok I suppose, but I reckon they'd be better off dressing up as servants. No one sees an extra cleaner, but two new statues might get noticed, especially if they happen to run off suddenly.'
'Hmmm. I think I'd better go and show these pictures to Commander Vimes. He might have a better idea of what's going on.'
'Better than me?' said Gaspode. 'He'll say exactly the same.'
'I think he might be marginally more cynical.'
--
Vimes had heard the recording, and was now staring at the photographs. Carrot was right, the man definitely looked familiar. Vimes would have guessed he was in his forties, or even late thirties, and he looked quite smart in his suit and tie, although Vimes kept expecting to see a hat, for some reason.
Why did the man want to get a couple of gamblers into the palace? And why did the gamblers want to dress up as statues? Why had they let Carrot into the bet?
What they hell was going on?
He'd have to place men at the palace. There was going to be a crime, Vimes could smell it - and not just attempting miming. Someone was manipulating the gamblers, and there would be a reason somewhere.
Vimes went to bed still trying to work out what was going on, and it took him far too long to get to sleep, but when he woke he knew two things.
He knew who the man in the suit was, and he knew why he hadn't recognised him.
He'd never before seen him without a duck on his head.