Chapter 7: In The Memory Of…
'Once upon a time, many many years ago, it all began with a cat, and the cat was named Wesley. Coming from humble beginnings, its ambition had led it to conquer until all struggles were overcome. This is a journey of how it all began…'
"You know, it has to actually be history before it qualifies in the history books." Lindsey said, peeking at the words Wesley was typing on his laptop.
"Well, there's nothing wrong with planning ahead." Wesley said as he wrote about mansions and having millions of minions.
Lindsey scoffed and walked into the kitchen. When he returned, he said, "… Humble beginnings?"
Wesley stopped typing. He looked at Lindsey and before resuming, said "Gary, bite."
"Who's Ga- ow!" Lindsey jumped and looked down to see what bit him and found a rabbit hanging off his toe.
"…" Blink blink.
"Meet your partner." Wesley mumbled without looking up. Lindsey rubbed his toe and glared at the rabbit which just hopped away to the bathroom.
"Anyway, are you done with the forms?" Lindsey asked, picking it up and flipping through it quickly.
Wesley rolled his eyes. "Ugh, yes. Take it away. Before I change my mind about what I think of The Teletubbies." He said, and then gave an involuntary shiver.
"Where're you going?" Wesley asked when he saw Lindsey put on his jacket.
Lindsey stopped. "Contrary to popular belief, FedEx is entirely non-magical. Need to get this to the office before it closes."
"Fine, whatever." Wesley dismissed him. "Leave me, then." He added softly, and then gave the adorable eyes for good measure. It didn't work this time though.
Lindsey sighed. "I'll only be gone a few minutes. I'll bring you back something. Bye." With that he closed the door behind him and left Wesley alone in the apartment with Gary.
Wesley stayed in his spot, unsure of what to do. But just as he was about to play target practice with the rabbit, there was a knock on the door. "Hmmm, that was quick."
Suddenly the door burst open and Angel, Cordelia and Fred came rushing into the apartment. "There he is!" Cordelia said, pointing at Wesley.
"What the- arghh!" Wesley was cut short as Angel threw some dust at him and chanted gibberish. A small cloud of thick smoke enveloped Wesley, obstructing view of him completely. Patiently they waited.
"Shouldn't Wes appear like, now?" Cordelia asked worriedly. They looked on anxiously but no signs of hands or legs appeared. But then, finally, from the confines of the smoke, a fly escaped.
They all stared dumbfounded as it settled on the edge of the coffee table.
"Angel…" Cordelia looked at the fly then turned to face him, "what did you do!"
"What!"
"He's a fly!" she cried out. "How can you screw up!"
"I did it exactly as she told me to!" Angel said, exasperated.
As Angel and Cordy argued, Fred got eye-level with the table. "Um, Wesley. Hi. I don't know if you can understand me or not. Well, I guess you're feeling pretty freaked out an' all, or, um, are you? I'm not sure since you're, you know. No, don't-" Fred said when the fly turned around to face away from her. "I'm sorry, you must be pretty angry with us right now. Angel didn't mean to do this. We'll fix it. We're here for you. And, uh… oh, there you go."
The fly flew away to land on a newspaper lying open the couch. Fred followed it and sat on the other side, giving it space. She gave a little "Oh" when it flew in front of her before returning to the newspaper. She took it as 'apology accepted' and smiled at it, which is when she noticed something.
"Hey guys." She said, motioning for them to come to her. They stopped fighting and came towards her. She pointed towards the paper and whispered "Look. I think he's trying to tell us something."
They looked at the fly and realised that he was on top of the word 'plan' before moving and stopping on top of 'destruction'.
"Do you think someone's planning on destroying the world?" Fred asked.
"We can't be sure." Angel said. "Wes. Who's trying to destroy the world?"
The fly stayed there rubbing its legs together for a while that they thought it wouldn't do anything else when suddenly it flew to the bottom page of the newspaper in the advertisement section.
"A clown?" Cordelia asked. "That's who's doing this?"
"I never liked McDonald's." Fred commented.
"MacDonald!" Angel said, then clarifying, "Lindsey. This is his place too; it's him."
Just then the door opened. "Guess who I found wandering a few blocks away." Gunn said, shoving a disgruntled Lindsey into the apartment while holding his hands behind his back. At the same time, the fly flew from its rest position towards Gunn. "Hey, what's this fly buzzing around?" Gunn said, waving his hand to shoo it away.
Angel's eyes widened when he realised what he was about to do. "Gunn, no, don't-!"
SWWAAPP!
"Noooo!" They all shouted.
"What, what!" Gunn asked, confused. Angel pushed him away and dropped to his knees besides the fly.
"Oh my god, you just killed Wes!" Cordelia told him in horror.
Fred was hyperventilating. "I think - I think I'm going to faint..."
Gunn was taken aback. He stared at them in disbelief but their faces showed no humour. He looked at Angel grieving by the fly and frantically shook his head while saying 'no' repeatedly. Lindsey fell to his knees speechless, the prospect of running away leaving his mind. Fred was crying uncontrollably while being held up by Cordelia, who was only able to stand because she was still in shock. The fly was dead! Wes was… All the moments, the days they shared as a team. To be killed, simply. How… why…
Meanwhile…
The cloud of smoke finally drifted apart and a cat scrunched up its nose after the assault. Wesley looked around him at the hysterical humans and rolled his eyes. He got the gist of it from what they could get out and trotted up to Angel who still leaning over the insect. "Sheesh, yeah, we all love the fly. Get over it already."
"Wesley!" Fred exclaimed, the tears instantly stopping.
Wesley finally realised his situation and said "Um, no, I'm James; I think he went that- miaow!" Angel caught him before he could escape and deposited him on the couch.
Lindsey stood up. "Now that was embarrassing." He said casually.
"You-" Gunn grabbed him and forced him to sit on a chair, daring him to move. Turning to the others, he said, "How come the spell didn't work?"
"We're not sure." Cordelia answered. Looking back at the scowling cat, she said "But we still have to do something about this."
----
"So, you're his slave?" Cordelia asked.
"Yep." Lindsey said.
Cordelia sat down next to him. "But you still do whatever you want."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you still wear your expensive clothes?"
Lindsey shrugged. "He's got high standards."
"You go out? Work or something?"
"Sure, have to keep my cover up, and he gives me things to do."
"Are you allowed to talk like whenever?"
"I guess, yeah." Lindsey answered suspiciously.
"Do you end every sentence with 'yes, master'?"
"Well, he told me to call him Tito, though I guess it's Wesley now. Look, what are you getting at?" he asked.
"Right. So you dress like a million dollars, still have a life besides tending to his every beck and call, and allowed to voice your own opinions. I'm sorry, how are you his slave again?"
"Well I... Hm."
----
"Let's negotiate." Angel said.
"You tried to kill me."
"Just get rid of you to get Wes back, it's not the same thing."
Wesley scowled. "Tell that to the jury."
Angel sighed. "So you want to rule the world, right?"
"Affirmative." Wesley said impassively.
"That's kinda unoriginal. It only hasn't been tried a million times."
"But I'll succeed, so it's different." Wesley answered smugly.
"After you rule the world, then what? Where do you see this going after five years?"
Wesley leaned back on the couch. "Well, the usual - mayhem, death, destruction."
Angel scoffed. "That's hardly useful. I mean yeah, if it's your enemy's turf, maybe. But since you rule everything, that kinda defeats the purpose, don't you think?"
"What do you mean? And will you – stop – taking – pictures! What is this!" There was one more click and flash before Gunn pocketed his camera. Wesley glared at him and he walked away with an innocent look.
"It's not all glamorous as they show it to be." Angel continued. "They're gonna want benefits."
"You can just not give it to them." Lindsey said. Cordelia slapped him on the upside of his head.
"Yeah." Wesley agreed.
Fred put in. "Well, dissatisfied people means lots of trouble, like revolutions! And you'll have to take in charge of everything."
"Yeah, boring much?" Cordelia said.
"My advice? Don't rule the world; it's all budget plans and conflict." Angel told him.
Wesley seemed to look like he was thinking it over. Then he said, "What you all seem to forget, of which I will gladly remind you, is that they will be my slaves, and by magic. Free will? I don't think so. Now…" Wesley stood up where he sat. He looked around before saying dramatically, "Ladies and gentlemen… goodnight." Before anyone was able to interpret what he said, a purple cloud of smoke covered him and when it dissipated a few seconds later, Wesley had disappeared. His second escape.
"Dammit." Angel said.
"Now how are we supposed to find him?" Gunn asked. However, as soon as those words were said, a shout was heard from outside.
"Oh my god, it's Warlock! My poor baby!"
"Warlock…" Fred said. "Isn't that…"
"The old woman!" Cordelia said. They all rushed towards the window and sure enough the old woman was outside with Wesley in her arms looking dazed, probably from the effects of his spell. "We have to get him!"
"Let's go." Angel said.
----
"Now don't you worry my little bundle of joy; I'm here to take you home."
"Stop right there, lady!" Cordelia shouted. The whole gang came out of the apartment building breathing hard but all with determined looks.
"It's you again." The woman said with malice. "Why don't you just leave us be."
"That's our cat." Cordelia said.
"Well, we don't actually own him." Fred said. "He is his own person, or cat."
"Well, we want him back." Cordelia reached for Wesley and before long a fight broke out.
"Gunn." Angel said after a while.
Gunn looked at him and shrugged. "You saying you don't want this on film?" he said as he took more pictures.
----
Back in Sunnydale…
"Oh."
"What is it, Willow?" Giles asked, putting down his paper.
Willow looked at him worriedly. "It's just that the spell I gave Angel was supposed to be slow-acting? Do you think I should have told them?"
Giles gave a knowing nod. "Ah, don't worry." Returning to his paper, he said "I'm sure they'll figure it out."
----
"He's mine!" screeched the old woman.
"No way, lady, Wesley is-"
Suddenly another cloud of smoke surrounded Wesley, making the woman let go of him. It was as big as the first time and everyone held their breaths as it began to disappear. And then, standing in the middle, was a very much naked Wesley. When he realised his lack of attire, he quickly moved to cover himself with his hands.
He cleared his throat and said, "Well now, isn't this pleasant."