Chapter Twenty-Three

Hatori went back to his office and shut the door. "Care to explain what that was all about?"

A floorboard creaked somewhere on the other side of the room, and Hatori turned, only to find Akito standing near the window with his head down. "I've ruined everything, Hatori."

The doctor couldn't see his expression, but there was no mistaking the heaviness in Akito's voice, the sheer and utter despair. Hatori slid his hands into his front coat pockets. "Ruined what, exactly?"

For several moments, the younger man didn't answer. "It was foolish," he said suddenly, "to think for even a second that I stood a chance. Still, it hurts more than I would've imagined possible." Another pause. "If it were Yuki, I think I would at least be able to understand. But him?"

He lifted his head, and Hatori blanched, unprepared for the sight of tears—actual tears—gathering in the zodiac god's eyes. "Is this what it felt like when you lost her, Hatori? Did your heart feel like it was shriveling to dust?"

Hatori watched him warily. I don't know what's going on, but whatever it is, it's obviously very bad. The zodiac god never cried. By Hatori's recollection, the last time he had was when Akira died, and that was well over a decade ago. "Akito-"

"Why didn't you get angry, Hatori? When I suggested you erase her memories, why did you not draw your arm back and strike me? Or, better yet, wrap your fingers about my throat and drain the life from me?"

Hatori's jaw nearly popped open. "Akito," he tried again, but the zodiac god talked over him, his voice rising to a shout.

"I took everything from you, Hatori! I took everything, and yet, here I still stand. Here you still stand!" He shoved past the doctor, pressing his hands to his head as he furiously paced the room. "That's what this is, isn't it? It's fate's way of granting you justice, because you would not claim it for yourself!"

"I don't have any idea what you're talking about," Hatori said with all the calmness he could muster. "But perhaps you might start with what happened between you and Honda in the gardens earlier."

If Akito was surprised to hear that the doctor had learned of his secret meeting with Tohru, he didn't let on. "I made a mistake," he said. "I revealed certain…feelings to her that I would've been better served keeping to myself."

Feelings? Hatori frowned as he mulled this over. "I doubt you've done as much damage as you think. It's not in Honda's nature to begrudge someone for being honest." He eyed the zodiac god with curiosity. "What did you tell her, if you don't mind me asking?" He was almost certain he already knew, he just wanted to hear Akito say the words himself.

But the zodiac god wasn't having any of it. "It doesn't matter," he snapped. "What matters is that I have damaged our relationship. We are still friends," he added, as if to reassure the doctor, "but I don't believe we will ever be…what I had hoped."

I'm just going to have to ask him outright, aren't I? Hatori suppressed a sigh. "You love her, don't you?"

The zodiac god stilled, unblinking as he stared at the ground. "She...is precious to me. And now she knows just how much."

He sounded positively mortified, and the doctor was trying very hard not to smile. "I don't think it's as bad as you fear. Honda didn't seem upset to see you earlier. I think she was just surprised."

"My presence made her uncomfortable" Akito insisted, and Hatori acknowledged the truth of this statement with a half-nod.

"She was…a bit awkward. But that really isn't anything new. At least, not where she's concerned."

"Perhaps," Akito said, though he didn't sound convinced. "Regardless, she acts differently around me, and I don't think I can bear it."

This is the first time he's ever been rejected, Hatori realized. And by all accounts, he was handling it well, better than the doctor would've ever believed. "What exactly did she say to you?" he asked.

Akito drew his eyes shut. He looked like he wished the ground would swallow him whole. "She was sickeningly polite, of course. But she made it clear that I am her friend." He spat the word distastefully, as if it were the most loathsome thing he'd ever uttered. "In her eyes, I am on the same level as Yuki, Momiji, and Hatsuharu."

He didn't mention Kyo. Normally, Hatori wouldn't find that strange, though in this instance it felt like the omission was deliberate. Did Honda tell him that she thinks of Kyo as more than a friend? It was just a guess, though Hatori wasn't sure he was brave enough to ask whether or not it was the correct one.

"She refused to tell me what caused the injury on her face," Akito said, abruptly changing subjects. "But you tended her, Hatori, which means you must know what happened."

He's redirecting his anger. Again, Hatori was impressed by the vast emotional restraint that Akito appeared to be displaying. "I didn't tend to her, actually. My assistant did. I was out of my office-"

"I shall speak to her, then," Akito said, already striding toward the door.

"Wait." Hatori grabbed his arm, but the zodiac god shook him off, scowling.

They found Mae in the next room filing papers. She looked up when Akito entered, smiling, though her face fell in the next instant. "M-master Akito!" She leapt to her feet. She looked more shocked than Hatori had ever seen her, and his heart flooded with pity for his poor assistant. He stepped fully into the doorway so she could see that he was there, too, and while this seemed to put her more at ease, she was clearly still flustered.

"Um." Her eyes darted back and forth between him and Akito as she hastily gathered her papers into a messy, uneven stack. "W-what can I do for you, sir?"

Akito placed both of his hands on her desk, and Mae nearly jumped out of her skin as he leaned forward. "That girl you stitched up earlier. Tohru Honda. Did she happen to tell you how she got those cuts on her face?"

Mae's throat bobbed. "No. She chose not to disclose the cause of her injuries. She seemed to think that doing so would cause problems for the Sohmas."

"Problems." Akito straightened, sighing softly, as if to say of course she did. "Did she tell you anything else?"

"Well...um." Mae seemed to be warring with herself internally, and Hatori recognized at once what was happening. She wants to keep whatever Tohru told her confidential. But Akito was making her nervous, and undoubtedly, there was a part of her that felt the family head was entitled to be aware of the happenings on the estate.

Hatori spared her any further torment. "It's all right, Mae," he said. "You can tell us what you know."

She nodded at him gratefully before turning back to Akito. "A woman attacked her. She wouldn't tell me who, but she said it happened as she was walking back from the gardens."

A woman? Hatori's eyes shot to Akito. But the zodiac god did not return his stare. He stood motionless, arms hanging limply at his sides before finally mumbling, "Thank you."

With that, he backed away and swept from the room. Hatori watched him go. He had every intention of following, but he lingered for a moment in order to ensure that Mae wasn't too rattled by the conversation.

"I'm sorry," he murmured. "I tried to stop him, but he was determined-"

"That really is him, isn't it?" Mae stared at the doorway that Akito had just walked through. She didn't appear nervous anymore. If anything, Hatori thought she sounded star-struck. "That's the first time I've ever seen him up close! I didn't realize he was so handsome."

What? Hatori blinked, certain he'd heard wrong.

"You know," she continued, "all I've ever heard about him is that he's cruel, some even say terrifying. I don't see that, though. He's just very…intense, I think."

"Intense," the doctor repeated, his voice dubious.

"What?" She shrugged, her friendly casualness having returned in barely any time at all. "I mean, you know him better than anyone. Is that not accurate?"

How would I describe Akito? Hard as he tried, there was no single word that Hatori could come up with. "I wouldn't say it's inaccurate," he replied diplomatically. "It simply isn't the full picture."

"Oh, I see. He's a complicated man."

Why is she saying that like it's a good thing? "He's certainly multifaceted. But, there is truth to the things you've heard. In the past, Akito has been harsh, unyielding, and yes, sometimes even cruel."

She probably thought she was being stealthy when she snuck a glance at his left eye, but Hatori saw her. "Yes," he whispered, "that's true, too."

Her gaze shot back down to her desk. "Sorry," she said sheepishly. "It's just…I've always wondered-"

Hatori placed a hand over hers. "Don't worry about it," he said. "And don't worry about me. Things have changed since then. I've healed, and…I believe Akito has, too."

Mae stared down at their hands, and Hatori wondered, briefly, if she felt as warm as he did in that moment. "I'm glad," she said, and Hatori could tell by her smile that she truly meant it. "I know I've only worked for you for a short time, Hatori, but...you truly are one of the kindest, most selfless people I've ever met. And you deserve to be happy."

And just like that, the temperature in the room plummeted. Hatori clammed up, swiftly removing his hand from hers. "I'd better go after him," he said, straightening his jacket. "You'll be okay from here, I take?"

She waved a hand at him lazily, even though she looked very much like she wanted to say more. "Of course! You go ahead. I'll see you bright and early tomorrow morning."

Once Hatori had left, he released a long, shaky breath. You cannot let this happen again. He repeated those words to himself like a mantra as he exited the house and stepped out into the light, using one hand to shield his eyes against the sun as he scanned the grounds for Akito. But the zodiac god was nowhere to be found.

Not that it was difficult to deduce where he'd gone.

Tohru peered into the hospital room, hugging the wall so as to keep herself as concealed as possible. Isuzu isn't expecting me, she thought, though she nearly gasped and gave herself away when she saw that the horse's once long, healthy black hair had been cut all the way up to her chin. What happened? She surveyed the room for clues, her eyes settling on a bag of clear liquid that dangled from a metal stand near the bed. A cable trailed from the bag, and though Tohru knew that cable was supposed to end at Isuzu's arm, instead it lay discarded on the floor.

Here goes nothing, she thought as she finally took a deep breath and stepped into the room. The horse's head shot up at once, a look of sheer horror crossing her face. "What are you doing?" she demanded. "How did you find-"

Tears fell freely from Tohru's face as she rushed toward the bed. "Isuzu...Isuzu, I'm sorry. I-"

"What the hell are you apologizing for?" the horse yelled, so loudly that Tohru thought for sure a nurse would come running into the room at any moment. "You didn't lock me in a cell and starve me! You didn't push me through a window and cut off my hair! You didn't-"

A sob escaped her throat. She covered her mouth to stifle it, and Tohru closed the distance between them, crushing her in a hug. "I know," she said when she could finally speak through her tears. "I know I'm not the one who hurt you. I was apologizing for not coming sooner. For not doing more to try to find you. I knew that you were missing, and I was so worried. I was-"

Isuzu pulled back from her. "You…you knew I was missing?"

She sounded shocked, though Tohru couldn't imagine why. She nodded her head in confirmation. "Of course. We all did. Me, Kagura and her parents, Shigure-"

Isuzu burst into tears again, and Tohru's heart wrenched. "What?" she exclaimed. "I'm sorry! Was it something I said?"

The horse shook her head, and Tohru snatched a tissue from the bedside table and offered it to her. "No," Isuzu said, sniffing. "It's just…I didn't think anyone cared enough about me to notice I was gone. I didn't think-"

"Well, we did," Tohru said, smiling. "I came as soon as Hatori told me what happened. I…I heard Akito saved you. Is that true?"

Isuzu scoffed, and Tohru thought she was going to deny it. "He helped, I guess," she said after some consideration. "But that maid is the one who really saved me."

Maid? Tohru thought, puzzled. But then she remembered the girl in the white and red kimono who'd come to Hatori's office earlier.

"She brought me food while Ren had me imprisoned," Isuzu explained. "I tried to plead with her, but nothing I said seemed to get through. I thought for sure she was completely brainwashed. But I guess I was wrong. Apparently, she went to Akito for help. That girl's got guts, whoever she is. Kind of like someone else I know." She fixed Tohru with a meaningful look. "He never would've helped me if it weren't for you. He would've gladly let me rot in that cell."

Tohru shook her head severely. "That's not true," she said. "It was Akito's decision to save you. I didn't-"

Isuzu cut her off. "Shut up and take credit for once!" The words were harsh, but they reminded Tohru of Arisa. If she were here, she would probably say something similar. But that was just it. Tohru really didn't think she was being modest. I haven't done anything the least bit praiseworthy. If anything, I've only made things worse for the Sohmas.

"No, Isuzu...you don't understand. Things between Akito and I are…" She turned away, cringing. "Well, let's just say I don't even know if we're friends anymore. But if there's one thing I do know, it's that Akito isn't going to help us break the curse. He was going to, at first. But now…well, I don't think he likes me very much."

Isuzu rolled her eyes. "Don't be absurd," she said. "He's completely in love with you."

Why does she sound so sure about that? Heat rushed to Tohru's cheeks. "Um…no. See, that's the problem. He told me he loved me, and I said that I didn't feel the same. And so now he doesn't want anything to do with me."

Isuzu didn't look the least bit concerned. She nodded her head once, as if this all made perfect sense, which only served to confuse Tohru. Because, as far as she was concerned, none of this made sense. "That explains why he was nice to me earlier, why he went out of his way to bring me food and drink. Why he insisted on carrying me out of that stupid cell. He feels like he's got something to prove."

Something to prove? Was Isuzu implying that Akito's kindness had been faked? That he'd only rescued her because he thought that doing so would make him look like a good person?

"I don't think so," Tohru said. "Akito didn't save you for me. He really has changed. I'm certain of it."

A pensive look entered Isuzu's tired eyes. "How can you be sure? After everything he's done…" She shook her head decidedly. "No. People can change, but not that drastically."

Tohru considered her words for a long moment. "I think you're wrong," she said. "I think…I think people can make big changes, whether it's for themselves, or for someone else. In fact, I know they can. My mom changed when she had me. She used to be the leader of a gang-"

"Your mom?" Isuzu blurted. She looked positively flabbergasted, and Tohru giggled.

"Uh-huh. Mom was as bad as they come! She used to get into street fights almost every day. She won all of them, and people respected her for it. Then she met my dad, and by the time I came along, she was a complete softie." She laughed again, the mere thought of her mother filling her with warmth. "Being a wife and mother changed her, so much that I bet none of her old friends would've recognized her if they'd run into her years later. Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that it is possible for people to change. And I think Akito has."

Isuzu's brow creased at that. "You haven't fallen in love with him too, have you?"

"What?" Tohru's face was burning again. "W-why would you say something like that?! I mean, of course I haven't-"

"Relax," Isuzu grumbled. "I only asked because you get all starry-eyed whenever you talk about him. Then again, you looked that way when you were talking about your mom, too. Just…be careful, okay? Changed or not, he doesn't deserve someone like you."

Tohru wasn't sure why, but hearing Isuzu say that made her feel sad.

A long silence stretched between them, though surprisingly, it was a comfortable one. After some time, Tohru stood. She was about to offer to get Isuzu some food from the cafeteria. But before she could say anything, heavy footsteps sounded from outside the door. Both of them turned, and Tohru sucked in a gasp. "Hatsuharu!" The sight of the ox in his long white coat and black combat boots was definitely a surprise, though she got the sense that it wasn't at all a pleasant one for Isuzu.

"Uh…hey," Haru said slowly. Even though it was clear that he was talking to her, his eyes had not once left Isuzu since the moment he stepped into the room. He ran a hand through his hair, clearing his throat. "I just, um…I heard that you were in the hospital, Rin, and I wanted to-"

"Who told you I was here?" Tohru's eyes shot back to her friend, who looked simultaneously shocked and furious.

Haru sighed, as if he'd been expecting this reaction. "Gure called me. I think it was supposed to be a gesture of goodwill or something, since he knows I'm pissed at him. I imagine he's already been up to see you."

"No," Isuzu said evenly. "He hasn't."

The pair stared at each other, and Tohru began to get the distinct feeling that she ought to leave the room.

"It's fine if he has," Haru mumbled, shrugging. "I know you and I have had our differences, Rin, and if he's what you want, then-"

"What?" Isuzu's voice nearly cracked on the word. "Why would you ever think something like that?"

Tohru could see the hope that filled Haru's eyes. "I mean," he said, swallowing, "you did kind of break up with me."

"That was only because…"

She trailed off, and Haru came to stand near the bed. "Rin." His voice was exasperated. When Isuzu didn't say anything, he slowly lowered himself onto the edge. "You aren't a burden," he told her softly. "Okay? No matter what you might think, you are never a burden. Not to me. Or to her." He nodded at Tohru.

And just like that, the dam broke.

Isuzu looked from Haru to Tohru several times before bursting into tears. They were violent sobs that shook her entire body. She threw her arms around Haru's neck, and he held her, burying his face in her hair. "I love you, Rin," he said, which only made her cry harder.

Haru's eyes travelled over to where Tohru stood. He held out one arm toward her, the invitation clear, and after a brief hesitation, she rushed forward. At first, she feared Isuzu might not like her interference. But as soon as the horse realized what was happening she immediately drew Tohru into the hug, and for a brief, fleeting moment, Tohru's heart was full. She pulled back quickly, however, so as to not overstay her welcome.

"I'm sorry, Haru," Isuzu managed to choke out. "I tried so hard, but in the end, I couldn't save you. It wasn't enough."

"Save me?" Haru shook his head quizzically. "What the heck are you talking about? Save me from what?"

"The curse," Isuzu whispered. "I did everything I could think of. I don't think there's a way, though. It's impossible."

Tohru resisted the urge to contradict her. Because as much as she didn't want to admit it, she knew that her friend could be right. Maybe it was foolish to think that we could change things. She wasn't ready to give up just yet, though she figured now might not be the best time to mention that.

"That's what this was about?" Haru said, astonished. "You were trying to break the curse? For me?"

Isuzu nodded mutely.

"It wasn't just her," Tohru cut in. "I was helping. Or, well…I was trying to."

"That's why you wanted to visit Akito when we got back from the summer home," Haru said, his eyes lighting up as he put the pieces together. "You were trying to get on his good side. You thought he might help you if-"

"No," Tohru said quickly. "I mean…yes, I wanted him to help. But it wasn't like that. At least, not entirely. The thing is, I really do like Akito."

"You do?" Haru didn't sound like he believed her.

"I know," Isuzu said, annoyed. "I've already tried talking sense into her, but she's fully convinced that Akito has changed."

"He has," Tohru said, "and I think he still might help us. I don't know what it is, but...I just get this feeling that he's the key to all of this. To breaking the curse, I mean."

"Shigure thinks that, too," Isuzu said. "In fact, he's always said so. That's why I was spending so much time with him," she explained to Haru. "Gure knows more than anyone about the curse. Which, admittedly, isn't all that much. But he's always had his heart set on breaking it. So when I asked him to help me, he agreed."

"Mm. Yeah, but I think he had other motives, too," Haru pointed out, and when Isuzu cast him a death glare, he laughed, holding out his hands. "Kidding, kidding. Except…not really."

She sighed. "No, not really. At any rate, I'm glad we had Tohru on our side. Because if it were just me and Gure working together, I think I might have killed him. Multiple times."

Haru cast Tohru a grateful smile. "Thank you," he told her. "You have no idea what your friendship means to Rin. I know she'll never say it, but she really does love you. I can tell."

The horse glared at him, but she didn't argue, and Tohru took that to mean that Haru was right.

She laughed heartily. "I can tell that you're in good hands," she told Isuzu, "so if you don't mind, I'll go ahead and say my good-byes."

"You don't have to go," Haru said, and Tohru could tell he meant it. Even so, she wanted to be sure that he and Isuzu had the chance to spend some time alone together.

"Thanks," she said, "but I do need to be getting back. Shigure and the others will start to worry if I don't." She glanced toward the window. The sun had disappeared over the horizon, splashing the sky with vibrant orange and red colors. It really is getting late.

"Good-bye." She gave Isuzu one last quick embrace, and the horse surprised her by hugging her back fiercely.

"Good-bye, Tohru. And thanks again. Even though things didn't go as planned-"

Tohru shushed her. "We don't know if that's true yet. Just… give it some more time, okay? I still think things might turn out all right in the end."

Isuzu didn't look optimistic, but she nodded all the same. "Okay."

Hatori set out toward the heart of the estate, cutting through several side yards in order to make up for lost time. Once he'd reached Ren's house, he found Akito there, staring up at the second-story window through narrowed eyes. He looked like he was ready to tear down the world. He looked…

Intense, Hatori thought, mentally praising his assistant for the spot-on observation she'd made earlier. "Akito," he called, and the younger man spun. His eyes widened when he saw the doctor walking toward him. "I know you're angry," Hatori began carefully, "but that's no reason to-"

"Angry?" Akito's cold blue eyes flashed, and for a split-second, Hatori no longer thought he looked intense. No, he looked lethal. "That's a rather tame choice of word for what I'm feeling right now."

Hatori dipped his head in order to show that he, too, believed Ren needed to answer for what she'd done to Tohru. "Be that as it may," he said, "surely you must see that it would be unwise to confront her in your current state. You've had an eventful day-"

"I feel fine," Akito insisted snippily. "Besides, it's long overdue. Ren has had this coming to her for years, and she knows it."

Again, Hatori found he couldn't argue. "At least let me accompany you," he said, to which Akito sighed.

"If you like. But let's make haste. No doubt, she is anticipating this."

What does he plan to do once he's inside? Hatori wasn't sure he wanted to know. If he had to guess, he'd say that there was sure to be screaming and yelling and hurling of objects from both parties involved. "Akito, please don't provoke her. The last thing we want-"

"She has provoked me!" Akito whirled on him furiously. "Did you not see Tohru's face? This act cannot go unpunished, Hatori. It cannot."

"I understand," Hatori said, and he really did. "I just don't want anyone to get hurt."

He thought that would at least give Akito pause. But the zodiac god waved away the sentiment. "It would serve her right, if she did. An eye for an eye, as the saying goes."

He's not even entertaining the possibility that he might be the one who ends up getting hurt. "Akito." Hatori's voice was loud, stern, enough to stun the younger man into silence. "You need to calm down. What you just said is...it's monstrous." The doctor shook his head in disgust. "An eye for an eye? That isn't any way to live. In a world like that, everyone would be half-blind."

Like me. He left those last two words unspoken, but the zodiac god had always been adept at reading subtext. His normally pale face looked almost ashen as he came to stand near the dragon. "Hatori," he said, his voice turning impossibly soft. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"

Again, it was strange to see Akito grovel and express what were clearly feelings of genuine remorse. It was also, Hatori had to admit, more than a little gratifying. "I know you didn't. But my point still stands. Revenge is almost never the answer."

"Then what is?"

It was clear that he expected an answer, and it took the doctor a long time to think of one. "Justice," he said, to which the zodiac god huffed, his dissatisfaction apparent.

"What's the difference?"

Again, Hatori had to ponder the question for several moments. "What constitutes a just punishment varies widely, depending on who you ask," he said. "But I've always wondered: Is the suffering of one person ever truly negated by the suffering of another? I'm inclined to say no."

Akito folded his arms across his chest. "So what, then? Are you saying that people shouldn't be punished for their wrongdoings?"

He sounded incredulous, and Hatori quickly shook his head. "Of course not. But, I do think it is best to give people the chance to repent, and to make all acts of justice as swift and as fair as possible. Otherwise...what, then, is justice, but another, more civilized form of revenge?"

Akito gave him a flat look, and Hatori thought for sure that he was going to brush him off and say that that was the most ridiculous thing he'd ever heard.

"You really are just like her, aren't you?" Akito sighed. The sound was resigned, but Hatori thought he sensed a hint of affection there, too. "All right. We'll try it your way." He took another deep breath before turning back toward the house. What kinds of memories might he be reliving? Hatori wondered. Judging by the apprehensive look in the zodiac god's eyes, he had to figure it was nothing good.

"I shall go alone-"

"No." Hatori stepped in front of him. "Absolutely not. The entire point of me accompanying you is to-"

The zodiac god glowered at him. "You will wait outside, Hatori. That is an order."

The dragon hesitated only a moment before bowing his head in acquiescence. He wasn't happy, and the truth was that he likely could have gotten his way, if he'd pushed. But Hatori felt compelled to let the zodiac god do as he wished, and for once, his obedience had nothing to do with the fact that he was cursed. If I really believe he's changed, then I need to give him the chance to prove it. And this, he had to figure, was as great a test as any.

"Just be careful."