Lee was gone. Four days ago he returned to the Atlantia. Four days I haven't heard from him. That's 96 hours. Well, it's 95 hours and approximately 25 minutes as the day wasn't fully over yet. I've been lying awake in my bed the whole night. I just couldn't sleep. For four days I had kept myself busy enough with work and Zak, so I wouldn't have to think about him. And now Zak is out all night, spending time in those frakking simulators to practice for his flight test tomorrow and I'm left here all alone.

"You really shouldn't use your fiancé as a distraction for not thinking about another man. Especially when this man is his brother!" Little Angel exclaimed indignantly.

"Well, if it helps ..." Little Devil pointed out grinning.

I couldn't go on like this. I had to think about something else. I tried to concentrate on the test tomorrow but I kept remembering all the great things Lee and I did together.

The great dinners ...

"You were there with Zak. Lee was there with Melinda." Little Angel tried to interrupt my thoughts.

"But you were sitting at the same table." Little Devil countered with an evil grin.

Our lovely walk on the beach ...

"Where Zak proposed to you and Lee walked arm in arm with Melinda!"

"But Lee's eyes were pleading you to take him, not Melinda."

When I was introduced to his mother ...

"Zak introduced you to his mother." Little Angel got more and more agitated every minute.

"But Lee was there too." Little Devil said. He still had that evil grin on his face. Why was he always happy about my misery?

Aaarrggghh! I was pretty sure I was losing my mind. I felt like I was split into two people. The one person who is engaged with Zak and the other person who is in love with Lee.

"Love?" Little Angel shrieked.

"I knew it." Little Devil did one of his Happy-Dances on my shoulder.

I kicked them both of my shoulders. Gods, did I just say I love Lee? This is so not possible. I mean, yes, he is good looking, nice, almost as good a pilot as I am, he has this great muscular body, I could practically drown in his blue eyes every time he looks at me ... But love? I wasn't even sure if I loved Zak. And I agreed to marry him!

I can't love Lee. Zak already told his parents about our engagement. I met his mother twice in one week. She's the nicest person I have ever known. She likes me, even after I told her about my family background. She would probably hate me if I left Zak for his brother. No, that wouldn't go too well. And also, just because I love – no, because I think I love Lee, that doesn't mean he loves me back. So far he hasn't even flirted with me.

"But those looks he threw you on the beach ..." Little Devil sighed.

And I would meet Zak's father in three days. A Battlestar Commander. I can't mess with the sons of someone that high ranking. I would practically throw away my career if even tried something like that. But wouldn't Lee be worth giving that all up? Gods, what was wrong with me! I really needed to get some sleep. Maybe I'd dream of Lee again? Aaahhrrgg, I have to stop doing that!

Today was Zak's flight test. He had trained hard for that. He was under a lot of pressure. As he was an Adama, everyone assumed he would pass basic flight without any problems. And he was a top student in theory. But he couldn't fly. At least not vipers. Gods, I knew he wasn't a top pilot, but what I saw today was just so bad. His technique was sloppy, he had absolutely no feel for flying and he blew his landing twice before he was able to get his ship down. He was a bad pilot and he didn't belong in a viper. And I was the one to decide that. I was the one who would have to fail him because I was his frakking teacher. I had never thought that would be a problem. I had always strictly separated between work and my private life. And here I was – I had Zak's file before me and I knew I would have to fail him.

He would never forgive me. He would shut me out of his life and I wouldn't just lose him, but also his mother – who I already loved dearly – and – even worse – Lee. If I failed his brother, Lee would blame me. Of course he would, I was Zak's teacher. It had been my job to teach him how to fly a viper. I screwed up and now I would have to pay the price.

I kept staring at Zak's papers in front of me. I couldn't fail him.

"If you pass him and he gets in a viper again, are you sure he will come out of it alive the next time?" Little Angel asked quietly.

I froze in my tracks. I kept seeing Zak's viper coming down at his first try to land today. I had been afraid he would crash his ship. If he hadn't learned how to land by now, he would never learn it. I knew that. I had told that to all my students again and again.

I couldn't fail Zak, but I also couldn't pass him. So with a shivering hand I wrote "failed" on his papers. And I knew I had lost him forever.

"You always have us." Little Angel and Little Devil tried to cheer me up. It didn't work.

I didn't lose him. Zak didn't talk to me for the next few days. But eventually he understood that it wasn't my fault. He even said I had probably saved his life. And he still wanted to marry me. I was so relieved. And I was finally able to feel content about my decision. I did the right thing.

I didn't feel good about that for very long. Zak wanted to introduce me to his father. His father, who had dreamed of his son becoming a viper pilot just like him. I might have gotten his mother to like me, but his father would hate me.

"You don't know that. I'm sure the Commander is an intelligent man. He will understand that you couldn't pass him just because you love him." Little Angel said. I'm sure that was meant in a comforting way, but it wasn't really helping.

"This will be one interesting dinner." Little Devil said. Again he had that evil grin on his face.

The least I could do was try to look good when I met him. So I put on one of the dresses I bought for my first date with Lee.

"Double Date! You were there with Zak." Little Angel reminded me again. It never got tired of that.

I tried to show myself from my best side to turn this dinner into a success. I knew I would fail the minute I heard the restaurant's name that Zak's father had picked. It was the same restaurant Zak and I went for our first double date with Lee and Melinda. That couldn't be a good sign.

As expected, the dinner went awfully. Even though Zak's father never openly blamed me for Zak's failure, I could feel it in the cold way he treated me. No matter what I did or said, he turned it against me.

When I had to tell him about my mother and her alcohol problems – an inquisition is nothing against his questioning, I really couldn't prevent telling him the truth – he looked at the glass of wine in my hand with an arched eyebrow. I felt guilty immediately and drank nothing but water the whole evening. A lot of water. Therefore I had to run to the rest room very, very often. I usually don't drink water. Zak later told me that his father had asked how I ever could have become a viper pilot when I had to use the toilet so often. For some reason he found that awfully funny. I couldn't really share his amusement.

Later the Commander told me that he heard a lot about me already – of course he had just heard the bad things. My reputation isn't the best one.

"That's the understatement of the year." Little Devil laughed out loud.

"It's not that bad. You just had a few smaller problems." Little Angel tried to comfort me again. And again it didn't help.

And if things weren't bad enough already, we had the same waiter as the first time. Apparently he hadn't forgiven me. Every time he saw me walking to the rest room and back he walked a huge round around me, so he wouldn't get close to me. And when he served me that first – and only – glass of wine he reminded me that stains of red wine aren't easily cleaned and if I wouldn't prefer white wine. I don't even want to know what Zak's father had been thinking about that.

And just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, Zak went to the rest room himself and left me alone with his father. I sat frozen at the table, not knowing what to say. And the Commander sat quiet for himself. I desperately tried to find something to talk about with him. And before I could think it through, the words had already left my mouth.

"Do you miss flying?"

"Ugh, bad move. I don't think vipers are his favorite topic right now." Little Devil said happily.

"Maybe you should rather talk about the weather?" Little Angel suggested. Oh great, the weather. Frak, why didn't I think about that?

But as it turned out, vipers were the exact right topic. The Commander told me a few stories about his flying and finally told me that he had heard I was a pretty good pilot myself. From there on everything went for the better. The rest of the night we talked about nothing else but vipers. Zak was a bit annoyed about that. After all, he just failed to become a viper pilot himself. But somehow his father and I didn't notice his uneasiness and just kept talking.

"Good move, talking about vipers." Little Angel and Little Devil called out the same time.

This evening wasn't half as bad as I had expected. I actually liked Zak's father. And I think that, despite the fact that I failed Zak, he liked me too. At least a little bit.

Tbc

A.N.: Thanks to laurie31 for beta reading this chapter. :-) And thanks to yannik for helping me to post this chapter. I would be lost without you.