Against Muttface

"That is one weird-ass dog!"

"Got that right."

Dante and I had a nice little chat as we put the mutt to rest. I had the job of running around ice-crystals and fire my new, awesome shotgun, which I named Sparklun. ..Don't ask, please don't ask.

My leader was busy jumping from snapping head to snapping head like a monkey, slashing and shooting at it. Why did Dante have to have the cool gun, and the cool sword, and the cool outfit! Argh! Ah, well. Time to get some payback.

"Hey, muttface!" I shouted, standing before it. "You wanna dance! Huh! YA WANNA DANCE!"

"How dare you, mortal!" It bellowed, slamming its paw down on the ground and freezing it. I hopped onto it's paw as it came down and began to twirl and dance.

Dante stared at me as if I were a maniac, laughter in his eyes. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Teaching this mutt how to dance!" I grinned, positioning Sparklun as it opened its mouth to fire a breath of ice. "Say cheese, mutt!"

And with that, I fired like a madman into its mouth. An insane madman, with two peg legs, an eyepatch, and a jetpack! Muahahahaha! TAKE THAT, MUTT!

The mutt groaned in pain as its heads, in unison, fell to the ground. Dante jumped off at this point, smirking at our accomplishment. "Well, that was easy."

"We had to go through it five times, and you kept falling off!" I snorted, climbing off of the large paw.

Dante shrugged. "Yeah, yeah, sure. I see your mouth moving, but nothing is comin' out." That devilish grin. I hate that grin...!

"Aw, shut up!" I lightly pushed him, and he pushed back. Our pushing game went on for a few minutes before Cerberus (the evil muttface) raised its middle head and growled, causing us to freeze and look at it.

"You're.. you're not human, are you...?" It asked, panting.

"Who knows?" Dante rested his hands behind his head. "Sometimes I ask myself."

"You're not human?" I gasped, then latched onto him in a fangirl manner. "COOOOL!"

"I acknowledge your ability.. half mortal. Take my soul and go forth. You have my blessing." And with that, the evil dog turned into.. nun-chucks! Awesome nun-chucks!

Dante picked the 'chucks up and practiced with them, me on his back, then winked. "Too easy!" And with that, he began toward the door, and we were almost there, until...

..we were nearly ran over by a harley.

The very charming half-demon sidestepped and grinned at the motorcycle, and the woman on it. "Are you going to the party? What's the hurry? Didn't you get an invitation?"

The seemingly irritated woman pulled out a rocket-launcher (hey, did she get that from Ada?) and fired it at us. Dante, being the idiot he is, hopped on the rocket and rode it like a surfboard. I was hanging on for dear life.. but sadly, I have a horrible grip and fell flat on my ass on the frozen floor, nearly chilling to the bone. "DANTEEE! YOU IDIOT!" Shiver.

Dante flipped off as the woman did a wheelie over him. Landing on his feet, he picked me up by my collar, smiling mischeviously after the woman. "This just keeps getting better and better," He whispered. I shuddered and glared at him. "For you it is! I nearly froze to death! Asshole! Stupid! Stupid son of a—"

He silenced me with a light, light kiss, like in one of those cheesy romance movies. And novels. Eeeek..

"Come on, twerp." He dragged me through the door as I thought about what the hell the kiss meant. I mean, he's gotta be waaaay older than I am.. he's really good looking, but... do I like him? Hey, wait a minute! That jerkass called me a twerp! ARGH! MANIPULATION! I'LL GET YOU, DANTE...!

-End Against Muttface-