Chapter Ten: Veritaserum
It was when she awoke in the morning to return to Hogwarts that Lily felt different. It was on the train ride to Hogsmead station when Juliette first noticed that her friend was different. And it was at dinner on that first night back at Hogwarts that the whole school noticed Lily was different.
Lily woke with the sun on the morning of January third, eager and ready to return to school. She had enjoyed break more than she had anticipated doing; she had felt closer to her family than she had in ages; she had studied throughly for her potions' lessons and was anxious to resume her sessions; she had practiced Quidditch enough with her brothers and cousins to feel more than prepared for the first game of the year; and she had repeatedly tried out the new clothes and makeup she had purchased with Victoire, so now she felt excited and fully prepared to return with a new confidence that she hadn't entirely realized she had been lacking for so long.
She dressed in one of her new outfits, one of the more simple and comfortable ones — a pair of black jeans, an emerald green button up cardigan over a white top; Victoire had advised to only button three of the buttons so it was partially open both at top and bottom. Victoire had given a lot of specific advice about a lot of the things purchased. Lily finished the outfit with a pair of black slightly-heeled ankle boots and a white and silver scarf. She had taken time that morning to style her hair with some of the new cream they had bought, which was supposed to help it maintain a perfect curl the entire day, and she even applied basic makeup. Not a lot, but enough that she knew Julianne would approve. Julianne had returned home the previous evening after their extended three day sleepover in order to pack her return bags for school and say goodbye to her parents.
At breakfast, everyone seemed to have an opinion on her altered appearance, though she didn't think she necessarily looked that different and thought they were being a bit overdramatic.
"Going full snake now?" James said through a mouthful of pancakes.
"One can't exactly be a half-Slytherin now can they?" Lily said, narrowing her eyes at him sharply. "It's just an outfit," she added in a quick after thought.
He shrugged, but eyed her suspiciously still as he continued shoving food into his mouth.
Albus gave her a side eye as well. He set down his fork, took a long sip of pumpkin juice and stared at her as she sat at the table across from him and James. "Your hair looks different."
Lily fingered her gentle waves, tucked the deep red strands behind one ear and shrugged. "Just some new smoothing cream Vic and I bought last week," she said.
"You look different," he said again. "Older…" He frowned slightly.
"Why do you say that like it's such a bad thing?" She asked. "I'll be thirteen in just a few weeks."
"A few months," Ginny corrected, coming to her daughter's side quickly. "Don't try and grow up on me too quickly, please!" She kissed Lily on the top of the head then studied her face for a moment. She pursed her lips briefly, then seemed to force a smile. "The makeup looks nice, sweetheart," she said.
"Thanks mum," Lily said. She helped herself to a pancake and some eggs. "Where's dad?"
Ginny let out a quick sigh. "He had to go into work this morning," she said. "He wrote you each a letter for the train. I've already put them in your bags."
Lily tried not to feel disappointed. She knew how busy her dad was and how important his job was, and he had tried very hard to be home often during the holidays, but she always missed him when he couldn't take them to the station.
"Now eat up quickly! Ron and the kids will be here in just a minute to pick us up," Ginny said.
Later on the train after hugs and goodbyes to their mum and aunts and uncles who were there, the Potter kids separated to their individual compartments and friends and settled in for the return journey to school.
Lily anxiously searched the compartments for her friends' faces, stopping briefly outside a compartment where she spotted the Scamander twins to give them both a quick hug, and then once again outside her cousin Fred's compartment where he sat with his fellow fifth years, his prefects badge shining brightly from his robes. Finally she found her own compartment where Julianne and Leona were sitting on opposite benches, chatting about their holidays. Julianne had a fashion magazine opened on her lap and Leona was holding a thick book in her hands.
"Hiya!" Lily said, smiling as she entered.
"Lils! Why are you always one of the last ones on the train?" Julianne asked her friend.
Lily shrugged. "I blame James. He always takes so long to get ready," she said. Lily gave both girls a hug then sat beside Leona.
Julianne's hazel eyes were analyzing Lily carefully.
"Why are you staring at me?" Lily asked after a moment.
"You look different," Julianne said.
Leona gave Lily a sideways glance.
"I do not," Lily said. She took a strand of her hair and started twirling it around her finger. She had felt so confident this morning when she got dressed, but after everyone's reactions, she was starting to second guess her choice to wear makeup and fix her hair as Victoire had instructed.
"You do," Julianne insisted. "There's just something about you."
"It's just a bit of makeup," Lily said. "No more than I had on for New Years. I thought you'd be pleased, you're always telling me it's time we start wearing makeup."
"Don't get me wrong," Julianne said, "you look great! It's just something…" she shrugged. "I don't know. You seem more comfortable."
"Comfortable?" Lily asked.
"With yourself," Julianne said. "I don't know. There's an air about you."
"There's no such thing," Lily said. "You're being silly." She tried to laugh off her friend's comments.
"Well anyhow, I love your outfit."
"Thanks! Victoire helped me pick it out," Lily said.
"Very grown up," Julianne said.
Leona nodded.
The door to their compartment opened and Louis popped his head in. "Mind if we join you?"
Lily nodded and motioned the boys in. Louis entered, followed by Daniel Thomas, Zachary Lane, and finally Hugo. Louis and Zachary sat by Julianne, while Daniel sat beside Lily and Hugo sat next to him.
"Where's your other roommate?" Lily asked.
Louis shrugged.
"It's always you four, but what about the other one? What's his name?" Lily asked.
"Travis Leighton," Daniel answered. "He's kind of odd. Prefers to hang by himself."
Louis and Zachary nodded their agreement.
Lily shrugged, but as she thought about it she realized she couldn't even picture what their fifth roommate looked like. Though she and Julianne didn't hang with their roommates much either, so she decided not to think too much about it.
Fortunately when the boys arrived, Julianne had stopped pestering Lily about her new "look" and they group spent the rest of the trip catching up on their holidays and discussing what they most looked forward to for the rest of their second year.
The group took a carriage up to the castle together, but when they arrived at the Great Hall and Louis moved to hug Lily so they could separate for dinner, she felt suddenly frustrated. She gave Louis his hug, and Leona hugged both girls before frolicking off to join the Ravenclaws, but as Julianne and Lily walked towards the Slytherin table, she pouted.
"What's wrong Lils?" Julianne asked.
"It's not fair," Lily said.
"What's not?" Julianne asked.
"I should be able to sit with my family for dinner if I like," she said.
"We're Slytherins," Julianne said unnecessarily. "They're Gryffindors."
"Yes, thank you, I know that," Lily said. "School hasn't even officially started yet though. Technically it's still holiday. I should be able to sit with them if I want."
Julianne hesitated, clearly unsure how to answer her friend. Lily had never expressed this level of interest in sitting with her family before.
At the Slytherin table, Lily glanced over at the students already seated, and sighed. She had friends to sit with now, she felt comfortable with her house — for the most part — but it wasn't the same as sitting with her cousins and brothers like she had been able to all holiday. Kale and Kenny both waved to the girls. Payne spotted Lily and gave her a quick head nod and a wink. Lily smiled and returned their greetings while Julianne started moving towards the empty seats besides Kenny. Lily started to follow, but then noticed Scorpius, sitting with his usual group, including his sister. Everything Rose had told Lily, which had later been confirmed by Albus, came rushing back to Lily's mind, and when Scorpius looked up at her and smiled, she frowned.
"Come on, Jules," she said suddenly, tugging on her friend's hand.
"Come where?" Julianne asked, her eyes slightly nervous.
"We're going to sit with Louis," Lily said.
"Lils, no!" Julianne protested, pulling back on Lily.
"Why not? There's absolutely no reason not to," Lily said.
"We're not Gryffindors!" Julianne said.
"That's not a good enough argument," Lily said. "I'm not trying to join their house, I just want to have one more dinner with them before school starts tomorrow."
Julianne sighed, but didn't budge.
"I promise it'll just be tonight," Lily said. "Tomorrow when term officially starts, we'll stick with our own, okay?"
Julianne glanced longingly back at the Slytherins before nodding and following Lily all the way across the Great Hall to the Gryffindor table. Lily didn't notice, or at least pretended not to notice all the eyes that followed the girls across the room. It seemed most of the Gryffindors stared as the two Slytherins approached their table, but Lily marched boldly towards Louis and Hugo who were sitting with Daniel and Zachary as usual, but near Rose and Albus as well.
"Hi Lily!" Rose greeted. "What's up?"
Lily felt suddenly a tad uncertain with her spontaneously bold decision to join her family. She hadn't considered the possibility that they may not want Slytherins eating with them, even if they were family.
"Since it's not officially term yet, I thought it could be nice to sit together one more time, like on holiday," Lily said, a little more quietly and with a little more hesitation in her voice than she would have liked.
Albus and Rose looked at her silently for a moment and then exchanged a silent glance between the two of them, but then they looked back at Lily and nodded. Rose slide further down the bench to make space for the girls between herself and Hugo. Lily grinned and sat down beside Rose, giving her a quick hug while Julianne sat next to Hugo. Lily looked further down the table and caught James' eye. He quirked an eyebrow at her but nodded and waved before continuing on his conversation with his girlfriend beside him.
"See, it's not so bad," Lily whispered to Julianne as everyone began to eat. "Nobody cares that we're here." Lily helped herself to roast chicken and peas, smiling to herself at the choice she had made.
Sitting with her family, even if only for one night, felt right. It was fun to listen to Al and Rosie talk about the classes they had and to see James flirt with his girlfriend, which Lily assumed everyone else got to see frequently hanging about the common room; she liked seeing his silly sweet side like this. She liked talking with Louis and Hugo. Even Fred came by to give her a hug and talk for a minute. Lily realized this is what it would have been like if she had been a Gryffindor, and it was fun to experience it.
Julianne even seemed to relax a bit as they ate and laughed with Lily's cousins whom Julianne had become more familiar with over holiday, though when dinner ended and the students were dismissed to their rooms for the evening, Julianne wasted no time in pulling Lily away from her family and back towards the Slytherins.
"See, that wasn't so bad?" Lily said as the girls joined the group heading down to the dungeons.
"No, it wasn't so bad," Julianne said. "But remember you promised it was just the one time."
Lily rolled her eyes, but didn't argue with her friend.
The girls entered the common room and took up their favorite seats on the black leather couch by the fireplace. Lily removed her shoes and pulled her feet up beneath herself to get comfortable. The girls zoned out the busy chatter around the room and let themselves enjoy the heat from the roaring fire as they discussed the classes coming up that week.
It wasn't until later, when Julianne and the girls' other roommates were all snuggled up in bed, and Lily was sitting on her bed, scribbling in her journal that she realized she had left her shoes abandoned in the common room. Rolling her eyes, Lily closed up her journal and shoved it back beneath the mattress of her bed for safe keeping. She knew she didn't need to hide it since it had a charmed lock that only she could open, but it was a habit she had formed as a child when hiding her journals from her brothers.
She pulled the heavy knitted blanket from the end of her bed, wrapped it around her shoulders, and crept silently out of her room back down the long corridor to the common room. Anticipating everyone to have retired to their rooms for the night, Lily nearly jumped when she spotted someone else sitting in front of the fire.
Scorpius glanced up at her as she approached the couch. "Hey," he said.
Lily nodded acknowledgement, but didn't respond. She moved directly to the couch, continuing to ignore him as she knelt on the ground, looking for her shoes.
"Did you have a good holiday?" He asked, staring at her curiously as she crawled around on the floor.
Her shoes were not beneath the couch like she had anticipated. She sat back on her heels and huffed.
"Did you lose something?" He asked.
Lily glared at him unintentionally.
"Ah. Are we not friends again?" He asked. "Forgive me, it's a little hard to keep track."
Lily let out a frustrated sigh and glared at him. "For the record, we are not friends," she said. "We are housemates and teammates and that is all."
Scorpius nodded. "Right, of course." He smirked slightly, but she tried to ignore him.
Going back to her hands and knees, she resumed the search for her shoes.
"Is there something I can help you look for as a housemate? Not as a friend of course," he said.
Lily sat back again and stared at him. "I've lost my shoes," she said.
"Black boots?" He asked.
"Yes! Have you seen them?" She momentarily forgot her determination to not speak to him.
"Perhaps," he said.
She glared at him again.
"Here's the deal," he said. "If you answer a question for me, I'll tell you where your shoes are."
"Seriously?"
He nodded.
"Fine, ask your question," she said.
"I couldn't help but notice how you chose to sit with your family at dinner this evening instead of your house," he said.
"That isn't exactly a question," Lily said.
"You seem to have become quite close with your family again despite the difficulties you had with them last year," he said.
"Still not a question," Lily said.
He ignored her commentary. "I'm glad for you, you know? It's good that you were able to restore your friendships with them."
Lily waited quietly, not sure how to respond, and also not entirely sure why he cared.
"So my question…" he said slowly. "Which of your wonderful family members spoke against me over holiday?"
Lily stared at him, trying to keep her expression neutral. "What do you mean?"
"You always seem to return from holiday with your family more determined than usual to not be friends. I can only assume someone said something to make you feel this new passionate loathing for me," he said.
"I don't loathe you," she said.
"Mmhmm," he said. He waited for a moment. "You have to answer the question."
She debated with herself briefly, but then realized it wouldn't much matter if he knew the truth. "Rose and Albus," she said. "They told me some stuff you did from first year."
Scorpius opened his mouth to respond, but looked at her firm expression and seemed to change his mind. "Right, okay then." He stood up and headed towards the boys' corridor.
"Scorpius!" She called after him. "My shoes?"
He pointed to the table beside the couch. Her shoes were sitting there, perfectly obvious if she had bothered to look up. She sighed and snatched them up.
"Goodnight Potter," he said in what she felt was an unnecessarily cold tone, but then she remembered she had just explicitly told him they would not be friends and realized she could't blame him for being less than friendly towards her. She took her shoes and returned to her room.
…
The first week back passed by quickly for Lily. She had returned to school with a renewed vigor for her studies and her enthusiasm showed in classes and to her professors. While her defense work continued to surpass the other students in her year, and Herbology felt like little more work than a hobby to her at this point with how easy and fun she found it, she also started doubling down on her efforts in Transfiguration and Charms, which had not been her strongest subjects, but she felt determined to increase her skills and her hard work showed. Though she still couldn't quite master charms the way Julianne naturally had and Leona would always outperform her in Transfiguration, by the end of second week into the term, Lily had managed to earn recognition from both Professors for her improvements.
Quidditch practice kept her busy and helped pass the time as well. Payne wasted no time reinstating regular vigorous practices — Mondays and Wednesdays early before breakfast hour, Thursdays in the evening before dinner, and Sunday afternoons. During practice, Lily mostly avoided Scorpius, feeling more determined than ever to not become friends with him again. She realized rationally that the things that had occurred first year between him and Rose and Albus didn't actually have anything to do with her, and he had been more or less perfectly friendly and helpful to her the past couple years, but she still felt a need to be loyal to her family over a Malfoy, and she couldn't justify being friends with someone who had been rude to her family for no apparent reason. Scorpius had clearly noticed her new opposition to him, and after the first few days, he had stopped trying to be friends. He had stopped sitting by her in the evenings in the common room, and had stopped waving at her when she came to the table for meal times, and had even stopped altogether talking to her at practice.
Lily hated to admit it, but she missed being friends with him.
On the second Wednesday of January, Lily finally made her way to Professor Willoughby's office for their first meeting since before holiday. As she entered the room and saw him sitting behind his desk, preparing their tea, she felt suddenly nervous. Despite the eagerness she had been feeling for the past few weeks for this meeting, she now felt very afraid and uncertain about what she was about to do.
"Good evening, Miss Potter," he greeted in his calm, friendly voice. "Did you have a nice holiday?"
"It was very nice, thank you Professor," she said, and then in a quick afterthought: "Did you?"
He glanced up at her and nodded. "Quite, thank you. I stayed here with some of the other Professors and we had a nice quiet week." He indicated the chair for her to sit and she did so. "Do you feel prepared for tonight's lesson?"
Lily nodded instinctively, then hesitated and shook her head. "Not entirely, no."
He smiled slightly. "It's natural to feel nervous," he said. "I don't think anyone with half a brain would feel completely confident before voluntarily drinking Veritaserum."
Lily nodded.
"Anything you'd like to discuss before we start?" He asked. "Any concerns? Questions?"
"Nope, I think I've done pretty thorough research," she said. "I know how it'll work and what it will feel like."
"Great, then let's get started shall we?" He withdrew a small vial of clear liquid from the drawer in his desk and pulled out the dropper that secured the bottle. "Would you like me to add it to your tea or just take it as is?"
"Does it make a difference?" Lily asked.
"Not at all, one is just more direct," he said.
"Let's do it that way then," Lily said.
"Will do," he said.
He held the filled dropper towards her and she opened her mouth for him to give her the three drops. There was no taste, but Lily had anticipated that. She wondered how long it would take to feel the effects, and then started to wonder what exactly the effects would feel like.
"So…" she began. "How long do we wait?"
"A few minutes," he said. "Let's have our tea and have a chat and let it settle in."
Lily picked up her tea and sipped slowly.
"Tell me about your break," he said. "What are some of the fun things you did?"
Lily knew he was just making small talk until the potion worked, but she also knew he would expect her to respond, so she thought briefly of her trip home trying to decide what to discuss with him. "I spent a lot of time with family. I went shopping with my cousin, and Julianne came and stayed with me for the New Year."
"That's good," he said, studying her face carefully. "Now which cousin was this? I know you have quite a few of them."
Lily smiled and nodded. "Victoire Weasley. She's my oldest cousin and is likely going to marry my oldest brother anytime now."
"Ah yes, Mr. Lupin," he said. "I remember you discussing Miss Weasley earlier this year with me. You two are close?"
"We didn't use to be," Lily said. "She's a few years older than I am, and I never really thought she liked me much, but we've definitely gotten closer since she's been out of school. She doesn't get along well with her own sister—they're very different. Dominique is all about Quidditch and Vic never liked Quidditch, not even when Teddy played."
"You're quite the Quidditch star yourself," Willoughby said.
"I do love Quidditch, but I think I'm also better at having other interests that I can share with Vic," she said. "Dom doesn't try to connect with her sister. She won't wear makeup or let Vic help her with shopping…"
"And those are the things you and Victoire share together?" He asked.
Lily nodded. "It's nice having a sister sort of person like that," she said. "Being the youngest of all boys isn't always easy…" Lily started to realize that she was sharing more than she usually would and wondered if the potion was going into affect. She didn't feel different, maybe a slight tingling in the back of her head she hadn't noticed before, almost like bubbles tickling just beneath the skull.
"Oh?" He simply said as an encouragement for her to continue.
"Yeah, I mean my brothers are great, usually, but there are just things that I think a sister would be really helpful with," Lily said.
"I'm sure that's true," he said. "And your brothers? You seem to be getting along well with them."
Lily shrugged. "Yeah, I guess. For the most part."
"I noticed you chose to sit with your Gryffindor family for dinner the first night back, and a couple times since then…" he said.
Lily had in fact sat with them now three times, though never again with Julianne since that first night. Lily had promised her friend that they could eat with their own house, but there had been a couple early mornings when Julianne had slept in, and Lily had chosen to sit with the Gryffindors, specifically her cousin Fred, who was an early riser like she was, and occasionally Hugo or Rosie.
"I have," she said. "That's okay, isn't it? There isn't any rule against sitting with different houses at meal times is there?"
"No, not at all, you're perfectly able to sit where you like. It just isn't typically done…but you know the Headmistress is always encouraging inter-house cooperation," he said. "I was a little surprised to see you choose to do it though. Previously you hadn't seemed so anxious to be with your Gryffindor family."
"We had a good holiday together, and I realized that I missed them more than I'd like to admit at school. I didn't want the fact that I'm not a Gryffindor stop us from being a family anymore. We've all spent too much time acting that way," she said. "And James has been really great about it all actually. He even asked me to come fly with him and a couple of his friends this weekend for fun!"
"That's truly wonderful," Willoughby said. "I know things with James haven't been particularly easy since you were sorted into Slytherin. I'm happy to hear he's coming around. Though I have to wonder, all this bonding you've been doing with the Gryffindors…are you feeling a stronger desire to have been a Gryffindor yourself? Perhaps you are separating yourself from your own house intentionally?"
Lily's tongue felt warm and the tingling bubbly feeling had spread through her head and down to her nose. "No," she said quickly, without pause or hesitation. "I'm not trying to separate from Slytherin. I'm just trying to maintain a good relationship with my family. And I've started to realize that it's ridiculous to think I can't be both a Slytherin and a Potter."
"So then you don't resent being put in Slytherin away from your family?" He asked.
"No I don't," she said, and she realized as she said it that it was entirely true.
Professor Willoughby seemed to be satisfied that the potion had been successful, and took time to develop his next questions. "Lily, did the sorting hat think to put you in Gryffindor at first?"
"Yes, of course. My whole family has been in Gryffindor," she said, finding herself answering automatically without needing to think or consider her words.
"Did you ask it not to?"
"Not exactly, but I told it that I was more than my blood," she said. "And it agreed and it said I should be in Slytherin."
"Do you agree with it?" He asked.
"I think so," she said. "Slytherin is a strong house. We are brave and loyal like Gryffindor, but we also have a lot of pride and that is a trait that makes sense to me. It makes us work harder."
Willoughby was quiet for a moment and Lily took another sip of her tea. "Why do you think it has been so hard for your brothers and cousins to accept you as a Slytherin?"
"Because they only see Slytherins as evil, like Voldemort was," she said. "They don't understand that a house doesn't make someone good or evil. That's an individual choice. There can be good or bad in any house."
He smiled. "It's good that you see it that way," he said. "And what of your housemates? Why was it hard for them to accept you?"
"Because I'm a Potter," she said. "And Potters belong in Gryffindor. Everyone said so. People don't like having to adjust to things that are different. They like things to stay the same. Me being put somewhere different was hard for everyone to accept because it made them think of things in a different way than they were used to."
"That's very intuitive of you," he said. "And what of you? Why was it so hard for you to accept?"
"Because I had anticipated being with my family, and like with everyone else, change is hard to accept," she said.
"But you have accepted it now?"
"Yes," she said.
"You are sure? You have accepted that you belong in Slytherin?"
"Yes," she said again, feeling absolute certain with her answer.
"Do you like being in Slytherin?" He asked.
"Yes," she said. "I like being in a different house than my family." She hadn't meant to say it or even realized she felt that way, but again she was absolute certain about it now that she had said it.
"Do you?" He asked, also seeming surprised by her words.
"I've always been different than my family. I've always felt like there was something about me that no one entirely understood and that it meant I was destined for different things than others…" She said "Being in Slytherin has given me a chance to figure out who I am without my family hovering over me all the time."
"And have you figured that out yet?" He asked.
She laughed a little. "No, not yet. I think though that being in Slytherin will be an essential part to me figuring it out."
"Do you mind if I ask you some more personal questions?" He asked.
Lily shook her head. Even though she knew she wouldn't able to lie to her professor, she trusted he wouldn't overstep by asking her anything he shown't.
"What was it like growing up as the youngest of the famous Harry Potter? How do you feel it has shaped who you are or who you think you want to be?" He asked.
Lily was surprised by the question, but didn't hesitate to answer it. "When I was little it was fun to have a famous dad. People recognized us everywhere we went. Then as I got older and started understanding better, I realized why my brothers didn't find it so fun. Especially Al. He hated it. The idea that my dad was famous because he almost died, because so many people who fought by his side died, because his parents died…it was all so horrible." She stopped for a moment, realizing she had said more than she had meant to, but also realizing that she had lost any desire to stop or filter herself. The tingle had spread throughout her face now and she was feeling warm all over; it was a nice feeling.
"So you didn't like that he was famous for something so sad?" Willoughby asked, trying to both clarify and guide the conversation.
"He didn't like to talk about the war much, so sometimes I learned things about what happened from complete strangers…" she said.
"That must have been hard," he said.
"It was," she said. "It made me confused and scared and I no longer liked having attention when we went out in public. And the older I got the worse it got. Once when I was about eight, I was out with my brother Teddy shopping for a birthday present for my dad in Diagon Alley and some journalist took pictures of us and then published some story about Teddy and his parents' death and how it was my dad's fault that they had died in the war…"
"That's awful," he said.
"It was pretty hard to hear," she said. "It made me confront my dad and learn a lot of things I don't think I was really ready to learn. I knew it wasn't my dad's fault though, and Teddy talked to me too and made sure I knew that."
"That's good," he said.
"I knew from that point though that I never wanted anyone to get hurt because of me. I don't like seeing people hurt, and the idea that anything I do in life could bring someone pain…" she sighed. "I think that's another reason being in Slytherin was hard at first. I felt like it hurt my family. Not physically, but I know they were disappointed and a little sad, and I know my parents were worried about me, and I don't like people to worry about me. I can take care of myself."
"I can see that," he said. "Lily, how have things been with your friends? Do you feel that you have good friends in Slytherin?" He asked, changing direction abruptly.
"I have Julianne," Lily said.
"Yes, you and Miss Westerly seem quite close," he said.
"We are. She's the best," Lily smiled. "I don't know what I would have done in Slytherin without her."
"Is there anyone else though?"
"Well, I mean, I've got the team," she said. "They're all pretty good mates. Kenny and Kale and even Payne could be considered a friend, I guess."
"And Mr. Malfoy?"
Lily hesitated for the first time. She realized she didn't want to be honest about that. She tried to keep her mouth shut and just not answer his question, but the warmth and tingle in her tongue made her want to talk, she felt an urge to answer and be completely truthful.
"I'm not supposed to be friends with him," she said.
"Supposed to?" He asked.
"My brothers and cousins told me not to," she said. "And my parents said it would be better if I wasn't friendly with him."
"That seems a bit difficult considering he is a teammate as well as housemate. I had thought the two of you got on quite well," he said.
"We do…I mean we did…" Lily hesitated, again trying to fight it.
Professor Willoughby seemed to realize she was fighting the effects of the potion. "Is this something you wish not to discuss with me?"
She shook her head, but then sighed. "It's fine. Professor, I don't know how much you know of students from previous years, but Scorpius' dad was not a good person while he was in school. He was bloody awful to my dad and my aunt and uncle and other friends. He was a death eater, for Merlin's sake. I'm sure Professor Longbottom could fill you in on some of that."
"Professor Longbottom understands that we do not punish our students for the sins of their bloodline," Willoughby said.
"I know," Lily said, feeling slightly ashamed. "And I felt that way too, at first, but over holiday I talked with my cousin Rosie and my brother, and they told me some things that happened their first year with Scorpius, and explained why they despise him so…" she shrugged. "Things will just be easier for my family if I do not have a friendship with him. He wasn't kind to them and that's not something I can ignore."
"I see," he said slowly. "And have you thought to discuss these accusations with Mr. Malfoy?"
"Well, no, of course not," Lily said. "Why should I?"
"In my experience, there is rarely simply one side to any story," Willoughby said. "Has he ever been unkind to you in a way that would make you not want to be his friend on his own merit alone?"
"Well, no," she said. "He's always been rather good to me actually. First year he stood up for me and helped me with homework and we were quite friendly for a while actually."
"Is that not worth something then?"
"Sure it is, but my family hates him and his family…it's just not worth it," Lily said.
"Sometimes the things that are most worth it aren't always easy or obvious in the beginning," he said. Then he held up his hands in a form of surrender. "I've said my piece about this. I am glad you feel you have some friends in Slytherin. I hope it only gets easier for you in the years to come. Friendships are important."
Lily nodded.
"Alright, well I think we have talked long enough tonight," he said. "You have been most open with me, and I truly appreciate that you trusted me enough to confide in me that way."
"How long will it take for the potion to wear off?" Lily asked.
"It'll be completely gone by time you wake in the morning, so I recommend returning to your room and retiring early if you want to avoid any other unplanned honest conversations," he said with a slight wink.
Lily smiled and stood. "I'll do that. Thank you Professor."
"Until next time, Miss Potter," he said.
Lily left the office, immediately making her way through the stone maze of the dungeons to the common room. She knew it was late, as it always was when she finished her private lessons, and expected most of the students would already have retired to their rooms for the evening, but when she opened the door to the common room she spotted the entire team huddled around on the chairs and couch by the fireplace. They all looked up as she entered and Lily froze, feeling suddenly panicked.
"Potter!" Payne called to her and waved her over.
Lily walked over very slowly, hoping to say a quick goodnight and then escape to the privacy of her room to hide until the rest of the potions wore off. She knew it was still strong, because she could feel the warm tingle throughout her body.
"Hi," she said as she approached.
"Take a seat!" Payne said. "We were just talking about the game this weekend."
Lily stayed standing behind the couch.
"Come on, sit down," he said again, pointing to the empty spot on the couch next to Scorpius.
"I was going to go to bed…" she said.
"Just for a minute, we're thinking about changing a couple of our plays for Saturday," he said.
"Well, that doesn't really involve me," she said. "I mean as the seeker…"
"Potter, sit down," Payne said again. "I want your input. We're a team."
Lily nodded and sat down next to Scorpius.
"Okay, so I'm thinking we need to be a bit more on the defense than usual with this game against Ravenclaw," Payne said. "I know we are usual more an offense-focused team, but Ravenclaw's offense is strong. They won't expect us to play defense."
"That's a good thought," Lily spoke up. "Especially with the beaters." She knew it was unusual for her to take charge in conversations regarding team plays, but with the Veritaserum still going strong, she couldn't fight the urge to speak up. "Leo and Geoff are particularly aggressive beaters, and everyone knows it. If they hung back and performed more in the guard capacity, perhaps guarding Scorpius at the goals…" She stopped suddenly, realizing everyone was staring at her.
"You sure are chatty tonight," Payne said, arching an eyebrow at her.
"Sorry, yeah, I umm…" she hesitated. "I was just thinking out loud…"
"No, it's fine, you made good points," he said. "Just not used to you speaking up like that."
Lily tried to keep quiet for the rest of the talk. Payne finished his talk in another few minutes and dismissed the team. Kale, Leo, and Geoff left for bed instantly, Kenny hopped up and rushed off for her bed equally fast. Lily knew she should follow Kenny, but her face was warm and tingly and she felt an urge to sit by the fire and just enjoy the warmth spread through her body. She moved from the couch, closer to the large fireplace, and sat with her legs crossed beneath her on the plush green rug only a couple feet from the fire.
Payne came over to her and ruffled up her hair. "Night Potter." He said.
She glared up at him. "I don't like being called that," she said.
He winked. "Night Lily," he said, drawing out her name. He turned and headed down the corridor to his room.
Lily let out a sigh and held her hands out to the fire, loving the way the heat spread from the tips of her fingers all the through her body.
"What's on your mind?" Scorpius spoke up from behind her.
Lily's body jumped slightly, having forgotten he was still there. "Nothing I want to share with you," she said, unnecessarily sharp.
She heard him scoff, almost sounding like a snort, but she didn't turn around to look at him. She could still feel the affects of the Veritaserum, and the last person she wanted to have an honest conversation with right then was Scorpius Malfoy. She hoped her rudeness would make him go to bed.
Instead he came and sat down directly beside her on the rug, his knee bumping hers as he sat.
"So what exactly did your cousin and brother say about me?" He asked.
Lily closed her mouth tightly, trying to refuse to answer.
"Come on, you can tell me. I won't be offended, promise," he said.
Lily shook her head, again trying to resist, but she felt her tongue tingling and felt the desire to answer, "Rose started it."
He nodded.
She didn't look at him as she started talking. She stared resolutely into the flickering flames ahead of her. "She said you and your friends teased her a bunch during first year. She says you guys teased her hair and her freckles, and you gave her a hard time for not making Quidditch like you did first year…and you gave Al a hard time in classes because you were better than he was and just sort of made their first year miserable…" she took a breath and snapped her mouth shut.
"I see," he said.
"And they really don't like you and they say you aren't a nice person and being friends with you would be a bad choice for me…"
"I see," he said again. "And do you think I'm not a nice person?"
"It doesn't matter what I think," she said. "They're my family."
"Yes, that's true," he said.
"Do you have anything to say for yourself?" She asked.
"Would you listen if I did?" He asked.
"They're my family," Lily said again, not looking at him. "I sort of have to take their side."
"That's sort of what I expected," he said.
Lily hesitated. "For what it's worth, I am sorry," she said, finally looking at him.
He looked at her as well, and for a moment she felt completely distracted by the way his gray eyes gleamed silver in the light of the fire.
"You have amazing eyes," she spoke without thinking.
He seemed momentarily too surprised by her honest statement to respond. "Umm, thank you," he said. He stared at her, his eyes locked on hers. "You do know that you don't have to do everything your family tells you, right?" He asked.
"Of course I know that," she said. "But you don't understand what it's like being in my family. We're all very close, and we all listen to each other and follow each other's advice, and if someone is hurt or offended, then we stand by them…"
"So you don't think for yourself at all?" He asked.
"That's not true," she said, more than a little irritated by his bluntness. "If I didn't, then I would't be here in Slytherin, would I?"
He shrugged.
"Look, you weren't kind to my family, and I can't be friends with you, okay? Can we just leave it at that?" She stood up. "I've said more than I wanted to tonight, and I don't appreciate you cornering me like this."
"I didn't mean to corner you. I was just trying to be friendly," he said.
"Stop trying, please!" She said, feeling frustrated, sad, and ultimately very confused. "Stop being so nice to me!"
He frowned. "You want me to not be nice to you?"
"No," she said, exasperated, "I mean, yes…I just…I don't know. I have to respect my family, and you make it really hard sometimes!"
He gave her a confused and slightly hurt look. His eyes glittered silver again.
"Seriously, amazing eyes," she said again, then smacked her hand to her head, cursing herself for her honesty. "I can't talk to you anymore tonight. I need to stop talking."
Scorpius was smiling slightly at her obvious frustration.
"Okay, I'm going to bed now." She said, turning abruptly and heading towards the girls' corridor.
"Goodnight, Lily," he called after her.
She could hear slight laughter in his voice and refused to turn around or acknowledge him again.
"Bloody Veritaserum," she muttered under her breath.
A/N: Hey hey! Note at the end this time. This one wasn't too plot-fulfilling, I realize, but it had some conversations I wanted to get out there. I know it's moving a *little* slowly for Scorlily fans who want more between them, but I promise I'm getting there! I really wanted to focus on building a believable friendship/relationship between them before jumping into the romance stuff. I've really appreciated all the reviews and PMs I've received so far. Also have had quite a few new follows and favorites in the past couple weeks. I LOVE LOVE LOVE hearing from my readers. Even just a, "this was fun" makes me smile. I just love knowing that something I'm enjoying writing so much is being enjoyed by others. Writing this story is like a happy therapy break from all the crazy going on in the world, so please if you take the time to read and enjoy at all, let me know! Even just a smiley face :) Okay, begging done. Anyway - I wanted to put this note here at the end to prepare you...the next update will be up soon. I'm almost finished with it actually. BUT it's going to be a bit, how to say it...heavy? There's some minor triggering content. Nothing too intense, I promise, but it's definitely more serious than anything else I've written here so far. Hopefully that doesn't put any of you off. It also, however, has lots of Scorlily bonding time, so, stay tuned! XOXO