AN: My original intentions were to just leave this as a one-chapter ending with the cliffhanger story, but since the reviews were good, I might as well continue. I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the last one!

Jesus didn't stop to listen to re-animated Dumbledore's introduction. "RUN!" he shouted at the class. He made a break out of the doorway, but froze in horror.

A dozen or so Mary-Sues were wandering about the hall, their vivid hair colors blinding all around them. Jesus rushed back into the classroom.

"Okay guys. We'll have to go through the window. Or better yet…" He pointed his fingers at the wall and blasted it away with his Jesus-powers. "Everyone jump!" he shouted. The class looked below at the fifty-foot drop. Jesus saw the predicament and conjured a ladder down out of the window. The class had just started to move down the ladder, when Dumbledore finished his introduction. The new girl stepped into the classroom and looked at Jesus.

"Where should I sit?" she asked.

Jesus froze and pointed an angry Jesus finger at the girl. "You! Wicked fiend! Reveal yourself!" There was a flash of light and the girl with raven black hair and radiant blue eyes changed form. She was nothing more than a frail middleschooler with dirty blonde hair, typing away at a laptop.

"Here!" he threw a large book at the unmasked Sue. She caught it.

"What's this?"

"It's a bootleg of the 7th Harry Potter Book!" said Jesus.

"Ooh, cool!" She opened the book, and a beam of light came out and sucked her in. The book fell to the floor.

"Silly Sues." Said Jesus. "Works every time." He jumped out of the window and landed on his feet in a really cool way, like Fonzy as if he was in the Matrix. He gathered the class.

"Now, stay close! We don't know how many Sues there are. Here, everyone take a few of these!" he took a stack of Harry Potter book 7 bootlegs out of his robes and began handing them out amongst the students. "These are traps, disguised as bootlegs of the 7th Harry Potter book. Just give it to a Sue and she'll fall for it. Any questions?"

"How does the trap work?" asked Hermione, intrigued.

"Ah, it's quite simple, really. You see, the book is enchanted with negative character energies, essentially, the energies generated from the flaws and problems of fictional characters. When the overtly positive energy of the Sue encounters the extreme opposite, a vacuum is created, sucking the Mary-Sue into a literary void, vanquishing them from our world forever." Jesus explained. "There's also a spell that will go away, just yell, Suepefy! That works as well."

Just then, a large crowd of Mary-Sues rushed into the breezeway where they stood. The group froze. One girl with firey red hair and shocking electric purple eyes and radiant skin was leading the group of Sues.

"Arzada, Evanasha, Nightshadia, you go around the right! Destiny, Celestiana, and Starella, you take the left side!" she commanded. The Sues rushed in formation as the group of students began hurling books like grenades. Many Sues stumbled upon them and fell for it. Others ran straight past. A girl with chestnut brown hair and brilliant silver eyes fell into Harry's arms.

"Hey." Said Harry to the incredibly attractive new girl. Wait a minute, why am I talking? I'm not supposed to… but his train of thought was broken by the will of the Sue. He continued to speak to her. "Aren't you the girl from Canada who just transferred here?"

"Yeah" she giggled, flashing her sparkly colorful eyes at him(like omg). "Can you show me around?" she asked.

"I'd be happy to." Said Harry.

"Harry, NO!" Ron hurled a trap book at the Sue. It didn't hit her, because she had always had this weird power since she was little that let her subconsciously generate force fields around herself. She never really knew why….

"Oh for the love of god." Ron said. "Hey, fantasy girl! Quit narrating your powers and get over here!" he shouted.

The Sue showed no response. Ron continued to yell in vain and the Sue continued to flirt with Harry.

"Ron, that won't work!" shouted Jesus as he trapped a girl with bright blue hair named Setestalania. "They can't hear rationality! Use an overused insult from the book!"

"Alright." Said Ron. "Hey, er… "he pondered on an easy insult. "Hey, mudblood! Quit trying, quit trying to er… defile the proper wizard!" The insult worked. The Sue turned around, but the author was so caught up in the heat of the moment that she forgot to stay consistent with her eye color. HER EYES WENT RED WITH RAGE.

"What, what did you just call me?" she said coldy. Wait, cold? I thought her eyes were red…

"YOU STAY OUT OF THIS!"

Alright, chill.

"I said, catch!" Ron hurled the book at her. It opened and hit her in the face. The Sue screamed as light flashed and sucked her into literary Oblivion. Harry fell down, holding his head.

"Ow, what happened? I didn't mean to say any of that stuff. Friggin' Sues", he grumbled as Ron helped him back up.

Everyone tackled the Sues fairly easily, except for Neville, because even though it was year seven the Suethors insisted that he remain forgetful and naïve. The class got back together relatively unscathed.

"Well done.", said Jesus. "But that was just the first, of what I fear will be an army of Sues. You fought well, but stay vigilant. I fear…" Jesus was interrupted. The damage to the school reversed, and suddenly the class was back in their classroom.

"Don't worry", said Jesus as he got up from his chair. "Like I said, Sues can't grasp rationality, so expect things like that to happen as we continue our war against them." The door to the classroom opened suddenly, it was Professor McGonagall. She had the same odd gleam in her eyes that the undead Dumbledore had. Jesus was two steps ahead, and knew why she was here.

"When's the 'ball', Professor?" he asked with sarcasm.

"Oh, that's just what I came here to announce. Even though…" Jesus cut her off with a spell.

"Suepefy!" he said. A bolt of red light hit her and knocked her down.

"Oh my, I, how did I get here? I don't recall…" Jesus helped her up and explained.

"Professor, the school is under siege by an army of Mary-Sues."

"Mary-Sues? But we haven't had one of those since, wait, yes we have. All the time, now that I think about it."

"Yes, but this is particularly bad. They're attacking en masse, worse than we've ever seen before. I think this might be Lord Voldemort's doing."

"Very well then. Let us take arms and defend the school!" McGonagall raised her fist and shouted this, and she would like, totally not do that in the normal books.