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And I can't stop smiling,

No I can't stop now.

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As it turned out, Rose was much faster than he'd anticipated. She disappeared around the corner behind the restaurant into the back alley where he'd left the TARDIS. He rounded the corner just in time to see her slip inside – on a scale of one to ten, he figured as he followed her, she was probably at about seven on the irritated scale. He waltzed into the console room and shut the door loudly behind him. She was standing over the controls, defiantly not looking at him. He sauntered over, his hands in his pockets. For a second or two, the Doctor let his eyes graze over her: her shrugged shoulders, her distant attitude. Definitely angry. But then he grinned and looked to the TARDIS instead.

"So, April 17th, yeah?" he asked brightly, heading for the controls. Rose cleared her throat and didn't look at him.

"Look, let's just not bother. There's no point anyway."

The Doctor let out a drawn sigh and folded his arms. "This is about the cup of tea thing, isn't it? The fact that I won't come with you when you're havin' a good old laugh. Well, I'm sorry Rose, but it's just not what I do."

"It's not jus' about that," she defended quickly, shaking her head and looking to him. "I mean, you jus'... I thought you might wanna..."

He stepped towards her carefully, his eyes stern. "Might want to... what?" he asked carefully, though he had a sneaking suspicion he already knew the answer.

"Doesn't matter," Rose shrugged and turned away from him, heading towards the door of the TARDIS corridors.

"Obviously it does, or you wouldn't be in a mood with me."

She whirled around, ever so slightly angry. "I am not in a mood!"

He raised an eyebrow and hid the smile that threatened to break out over his lips. "No? Then what's with the runnin' off?"

"I wanted some exercise," she reasoned, her voice hinting on cold. "Tha's all. Why're you askin', anyway? 'S not like you care about my well-being."

"Oh, so the next time I grab your hand and tell you to run, that'll be out of what, then? Fun? Obligation?"

"Yeah. 'Cause I'm just another stupid ape."

Her voice was harsh and the Doctor was a little taken aback. Since when had she turned into someone who was so easily offended? He unfolded his arms and continued towards her, looking at her questioningly. She refused to meet his gaze, keeping her head turned from him; but she didn't move when he stood a few inches from her, either.

"No," the Doctor said softly. Despite herself, Rose brought her head around to look him square in the eye. His eyes were firm yet gentle, his face sincere.

"No, what?" she challenged. "No, I'm not another stupid ape? No, you care about me? No, you'll come in for a bit of tea?"

She watched him, her breathing heavy and her forehead pulled into a light frown. He just looked back at her, his face soft and the smallest traces of a content smile on his lips. He slowly reached his arm out, taking her hand. She let him.

"Just, no," her replied gently, meeting her eye and pushing his calloused fingers through hers.

Rose blinked at him for a moment or two, before looking shyly down to the floor.

"I jus'... I wish you'd..."

"Wishing is a dangerous thing, Rose," the Doctor said wisely, not taking his eyes off her. "I should know. If this is about the birthday thing, you have to know, I'm not gonna change. And it's not 'cause I don't care, or even that I don't want to. Part of me wishes that I could be there with you. Really and truly. But things are the way they are. I don't do that. It's too much of a risk."

She looked up at him pointedly, her anger falling away. "It's just tea."

The Doctor smiled wryly. "It starts as just tea," he countered gently, squeezing her hand. "If it were just tea, that would be fine. But it's never just tea, Rose. First it's tea, then it's dinner, then it's staying the night for a quick kip. Next thing you know, I'm goin' out with you an' your mates down the pub and takin' you out shopping down Marks & Sparks."

He dropped her hand and began to pace as he talked, collecting further inquiring looks from Rose as she watched him. "Then there's the questioning, awkward looks from your family when they see me take your hand, and the automatic assumption that we're..." He trailed off, their gaze locking gently, his hand resting lightly on the console of the controls.

"And, after all that, there's the hesitation to leave, because we're so pulled in it begins to feel safe and right, and there's not a damned thing either of us can do about it. Eventually it ends with us being back here in the TARDIS, like this, all the more confused with the boundaries all over the place. So of course, the next time we 'pop in' to see your Mum, you take me by the hand and we walk in like we belong, like there's no where else we have to be. We start being familiar faces, appearing in photographs, recognised. Before you know it, we'll be invited out to parties and goin' to the cinema, and living like the humans we aren't."

She was biting her lip with a slight frown. The Doctor walked away from the console and stood in front of her, looking down from his tall height. He hesitated a moment, before reaching for both of her hands with his, clasping them to his chest. "You see, Rose? I just... I can't. I can't change. 'Cause all that'll happen, and more, and then it'll be hell tryin' to sort out exactly where we are with each other."

Rose looked up into his face, a shy, inquisitive look spreading over her.

"And where's that, Doctor?" she asked gently.

He swallowed, his mouth open a few millimetres, before letting a grin spread right across his face. If only she knew the battle that was raging inside of him. That little voice, tucked deeply away in the pit of his mind: tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her... It was getting so difficult to ignore. The Doctor licked his bottom lip nervously, his hazy blue eyes finding a hold on her. The indecision was clear on him as his hands tightened around hers. Did she have any idea, he wondered? Did she know the power she had over him? Could she see what she was doing to him? He'd probably never find out find out.