Sora
I Wonder Why... I Blushed?
Goofy was the one who noticed I was blushing.
"Gawrsh, Sora. Why's your face all red?"
For someone as completely out of it as him, he notices a lot of things. The trouble is, he can't always put together the significance of what he sees. That's what Donald is for, I suppose. Crazy, annoying, greedy and loud mouthed, almost more so because of the strange quacking quality of his voice, but definitely able to put two and two together. As long as Goofy supplies him with the numbers themselves, that is.
"I bet I know who he's thinking about!"
I doubt that, Donald. Smart or not, you haven't been given all the numbers for this equation. I'm pretty sure Goofy has them though, that complacent smile of his is enough to tell me that. But again, he probably can't see the significance of those numbers.
When Will and Elizabeth finally had each other back, a hundred images flashed through my head, all of two people. Kairi and Riku. As the two embraced each other with such heartfelt passion, my mind slipped away into another realm where I could do the same. Donald, I'm sure, believed I thought only of my precious Kairi. Goofy knew I thought of both of them, but he couldn't tell why.
I knew all of it.
I knew that everything I felt for Kairi, I felt for Riku. I knew that I had so often thought of them as my most important, most necessary friends. I knew that once we had been separated, I could only think of them in terms of love, not like.
Will had Elizabeth.
Donald had Daisy.
The King had his Queen.
I had neither of them. I had lost Kairi after she was taken to rebuild Destiny Isles. And Riku? I had yet to see him, truly him, not the tool Ansem had constructed, since the night of Destiny Isle's destruction. I should have tried harder, been less afraid, taken the hand he offered. I couldn't.
I should be trying to get back to her, to return to the safety of having at least one of my friends, rather than risking losing both of them again by chasing after the second. I couldn't.
Kairi and Riku.
Riku and Kairi.
Either way I think about it, it sounds the same. They are both equal to me. Both everything to me. And as the two in front of me embrace, I cannot be swerved from my thoughts, even by the teases of my friends. I want that for myself. For Kairi. For Riku. I want both of them, and I almost know I will have neither.
I have spent my life told that I could have one soul mate. Obviously, Kairi was my only choice, she was the damsel in distress I had rescued, the one that everyone seemed to know I was meant for, everyone except me. Riku shouldn't have been a factor at all. But he was. And how was I to limit myself to one of them? I couldn't. I could never decide. So, I showered Kairi with shy affection, and I clung to Riku like he as my savior. I gave them both everything I could.
I guess it would be better if I only chose one of them. Could I really manage them both? Of course, they would know. They always know. To them, I must seem utterly transparent. I am certain both of them know of my love for the other. And more certain still that if I chose one, the other would be crushed. It is not a choice I could make. I am not sure it is even mine at all.
Perhaps that was why the two never got along,. Maybe they were out to win me over. Trying to make that descion for me.
My thoughts are cut short by the white light of a keyhole appearing. Yet, even as I run through the familiar moves, even as I put my whole being into driving shut the hole in this world of Port Royal, I can't help but be assaulted by one last image. The three of us together, as friends, as lovers, as everything to each other.
Maybe one day.
Until then, I'll just have to keep chasing them both.