A/N: First off, thank you ALL for the review and love from all my wonderful readers. I had so many delightful reactions to the last chapter, especially the Lily/Scor stuff, so I'm glad to hear I'm not going overboard on the sappy! This chapter is a little less focused on the pair, but don't worry they're still there. Anyway, this one isn't the most "exciting" chapter, but it fills in some gaps to get to the next part. Enjoy :)
Chapter Sixteen: Discovery
After yet another night without nightmares spent secure in Scorpius' arms, Lily woke and excused herself to her room to shower and dress before anyone else woke and noticed she had not spent the night in her own bed. Julianne, who was used to her friend waking first, didn't question Lily's early shower, and when the girls walked down together for breakfast and took their seats, Lily avoided eye contact with Scorpius entirely, not quite sure how to deal with him in public when their alone time was so shockingly intimate and bizarre.
"What time are you meeting with Willoughby?" Julianne asked as Lily mindlessly ate her eggs.
"Right after practice," Lily said.
"And then you'll meet Leona and me by the lake to study for our Astronomy test, right?"
Lily nodded. The girls had made those plans while Lily had been stuck in the infirmary. Julianne seemed to find it necessary to keep reminding Lily about them though as if she would forget or simply not show up, which admittedly made sense since Lily had been flaking on plans for the better part of three weeks.
"I'll be there right after the meeting," Lily confirmed verbally.
Laugher erupted from further down the table and the girls glanced towards the third years gathered around Scorpius and his group. Geoff seemed to be in the middle of an animated story, he was standing beside the table, moving his hands rapidly, his expressions lively. The group laughed again and Scorpius suddenly caught Lily's eye. She looked away instantly, returning her focus to her food.
"Are you going to make up with him?" Julianne asked.
Lily was momentarily confused.
"You weren't very kind to him last night when you found out it was his birthday," Julianne reminded her.
"Oh, that," Lily said, "right…" Since she couldn't very well tell Julianne she had spent the night on the couch with Scorpius, she simply nodded. "I'll apologize at practice."
"Good." Julianne seemed satisfied and the girls continued their breakfast.
After breakfast, Lily walked down to the pitch with Kale, still trying her best to avoid Scorpius. Of course, however, Payne instantly paired Lily and Scorpius for her to try shots against him, while Payne and the chasers practiced maneuvers lower and Geoff and Leo took turns trying to knock each other off their brooms with bludgers.
"I feel like you're avoiding me," Scorpius said nearly the moment they were in the air together, far enough away from the rest of the team to talk freely.
"Not at all," Lily said, then blushing a little she added: "I was literally sleeping with you a little more than an hour ago."
He smirked. "And then you ran off and have barely looked at me since."
"I didn't run off!" She protested, feeling somewhat irritated now by his determination to have this conversation. "I needed to change before breakfast."
He was quiet for a minute and she attempted a shot with the quaffle. He blocked it and then started badgering her again.
"You sure you're not upset about something?"
She shook her head.
"You'd tell me if you were right?"
She forced a smile. "Of course." She sent the quaffle at him again, and he blocked it again.
"I"m getting pretty good at reading your expressions, Lily."
"What does that mean?" She asked.
"I know when you're not being honest with me."
Lily frowned. She hadn't realized she was either that transparent, or that Scorpius had become so talented at reading her. She didn't like either option.
She let out a sigh and tried another shot. He blocked.
"I'm not upset," she clarified slowly. "I'm just feeling a little…I don't know…stressed out?"
"With what?"
"Everything!" She laughed a little. "Specifically though with our nighttime…arrangement."
"What about it? You're sleeping well, aren't you? No nightmares?"
"No, I mean, yes, all that is well and good, but don't you think it's a little bit strange?" She asked.
"You mean us spending the night together?"
She nodded.
"I told you I just wanted to be able to help you." He said. She couldn't be certain but she thought he sounded just a little bit hurt.
"I know. And you are. And I truly appreciate it." She sighed. "It's just not an entirely normal situation, is it?"
"Well no, not really at all," he said.
"I mean if anyone else were to learn about it…"
"Again going back to what other people would think…" He rolled his eyes.
"Is it so wrong to think about?" She asked.
"Sometimes you just need to think more about yourself," he said.
"Said like a true Slytherin," she laughed.
"Which, need I remind you, you are as well."
"So what am I supposed to just spend every night for the rest of my life with you?" She asked, narrowing her eyes at him. She shot the quaffle again, and this time she scored.
"I don't expect you'll need me forever, no," he said, a little quietly. "Until you're comfortable sleeping on your own without nightmares haunting you though, I don't see what other option you have really."
Lily felt irritated, flustered, and most of all confused. She didn't know how to explain to Scorpius all the thoughts and feelings running through her mind the past few days. If he could see into her head and see the jumble of emotions she dealt with every minute — the shame she felt over not being able to deal with her own sleep problems without his help, the concern she felt when thinking of someone else discovering what they were doing, the weakness she felt for not being able to tell anyone else why she's struggling with sleep, and also the strange comfort she felt every time she fell asleep listening to his steady breathing — what would he think of her? Would he still act so blasé about it all?
"Lily, you okay?" Scorpius hovered on his broom a few feet away from her. She realized she had been quiet for a few moments, holding the quaffle in mid air.
"I'm fine," she said, snapping unnecessarily. She threw the ball hard towards the left goal and scored again, though to be fair, Scorpius hadn't really tried hard to block it.
"It's not a big deal for me," he said, flying closer to her to speak without shouting. "I think I've made it clear that it doesn't bother me at all, but if you're not comfortable with it then just forget it. I won't come out to the common room anymore. You can sleep on your own."
Lily immediately wanted to protest, but her tongue felt heavy and stuck. She didn't know how to argue against what really was a logical statement.
"Potter, switch it up. Come hunt the snitch." Payne called out suddenly, taking Lily's attention gratefully off Scorpius.
She flew away immediately, leaving Scorpius without looking back. She spent the rest of the practice seeking the snitch while Payne and the other chasers kept Scorpius busy at the goals.
After practice, she showered and changed in the locker room before heading up for her meeting with Willoughby. Lily hadn't seen Professor Willoughby since Wednesday night when he had taken away her stash and made her feel more shame and guilt than the time she had accidentally broken her grandmum's favorite vase while racing James on brooms through the Burrow during Christmas holiday James' second year. She had only been nine at the time and had taken Teddy's broom without permission. Though James had taken the brunt of the discipline, since he was older and "should have known better" as her mum had said, it had been Lily's idea, and she knew she should have been in trouble as well. James took the blame though, and for that she had always felt guilty. She had eventually broken down and told her parents and grandparents the truth, that she had persuaded James to fly with her inside the house, and from then on Lily's pride prevented her from letting anyone take the blame for things for which she was responsible.
Standing in front of her professor's door now, too nervous to knock, Lily squeezed her eyes shut tightly trying to block out the creeping anxiety she suddenly felt.
"Are you coming in?" Professor Willoughby called out from inside the office.
She jumped, startled, then quickly pushed open his office door and entered. He sat behind his desk, waiting patiently with his hands folded on his desk.
"Thank you for coming," he said, his voice calm and a little quiet. "I wasn't sure you would want to speak with me. You must have thought me a bit harsh last time we spoke."
Lily shook her head, feeling herself somewhat taken aback by his comment. She hadn't expected for him to be apologetic or at all apprehensive towards her. That was supposed to be her role.
"Please, sit," he said, indicating the chair across from the desk.
She sank into the chair, suddenly feeling very uncertain and very tired.
"Miss Potter, it wasn't fair of me to put you in this position. I never should have given you the draught." He continued his apologetic rant, his shame and regret growing heavier in his voice. "As your professor and head of house I should have had more foresight than to offer something so powerful to someone in such a delicate state of mind…"
"I'm not delicate," Lily snapped, suddenly unable to sit idly by and listen to her professor spout off about what he saw to be only his mistake. This was not his fault. Not entirely anyway. And Lily didn't let people take the blame for her mistakes.
"No of course not," he agreed, "but your state of mind at the time…"
"Professor, this isn't your fault." Lily sat up straight and tall in her chair, staring her professor directly in the eye. "You were trying to help in the way you thought best."
"Yes, but perhaps if I hadn't been so quick to fall back on a potion…"
She shook her head. "No. You thought I could handle it. I should have been able to," she said. "In any normal situation I'm sure I could have. I think perhaps I hid my problems too well, however, and you didn't exactly realize how much I was really struggling."
He was quiet.
"I shouldn't have misused the draught like I did, but at the time it seemed like the best solution for my constant anxiety." Lily shrugged. "I'm the one who should be apologizing to you. You trusted me with something very powerful and important, and I botched up terribly." She let out a short sigh. "I'm sorry I disappointed you. I'm sorry I wasn't stronger or more responsible."
"Lily, you're only twelve years old!"
"I'll be thirteen in a couple weeks."
He indulged her with a slight smile. "My point is, you have done nothing wrong or unexpected for someone of your age and in your situation. Perhaps we can just acknowledge error on both sides and put it behind us."
Lily felt herself smiling a little while he nodded.
"Excellent, then shall I pour?" He indicated the tea service and Lily waited as he prepared the tea.
"Professor, I was wondering…" Lily hesitated, uncertain how to ask what she wanted to know.
He handed her the tea cup and waited.
"Do you still…I mean…are we still…umm…can I still have my lessons?"
He smiled broadly. "Of course," he said, chuckling a little. "You are still exceptionally skilled with potions, and I am still eager to help you expand your knowledge and skill. Nothing has changed."
Lily let out an audible sigh of relief. She had walked in that night truly fearing the end of her lessons, and hearing they were safe brought her an overwhelming sense of joy.
They sipped their tea in silence for a moment, before Willoughby cleared his throat and began again. Lily noted his expression once again was full of hesitancy and she wondered what was wrong now.
"Miss Potter, how have you been sleeping the past couple nights without the drought?" He asked.
She felt her cheeks flush slightly, but hoped in the dim candle-lit office, he wouldn't notice.
"Oh, alright I guess," she said, turning her eyes down to focus on her teacup.
"Have the nightmares returned?"
"No, not really."
"Oh? That's good. I'm glad losing the draught hasn't made sleep too challenging."
Lily just nodded, not feeling entirely comfortable with answering.
"And you've been sleeping through the nights? No random panic attacks or nighttime anxiety?"
She shook her head.
"Well that's truly wonderful," he said. "I had expected you to have problems without the drought, you know? I was concerned you wouldn't be able to sleep or your nightmares would return."
She just shrugged.
"It's remarkable really," he said.
Silence hung awkwardly in the air for a moment. Lily sipped her tea, hearing herself swallow in the quiet. She wasn't sure what to say or what he wasn't saying. Then he lifted his cup and spoke.
"I came to visit you in the hospital you know?"
"You did?" She asked, confused and surprised. "I don't remember…"
"You were asleep," he said. "I came after visiting hours. I thought you might have a difficult time sleeping in the infirmary, alone…" he let his words drop off and suddenly it clicked for Lily.
She gasped.
He nodded slowly.
"Oh!"
"Imagine my surprise."
"Oh…oh Professor…umm…" Lily shook her head, setting her teacup down shakily, clattering the cup against the saucer.
He held up his hand to silence her. "Listen, I encouraged you to embrace your friendship with Mr. Malfoy. I did. I know how he cares about you and has looked after you through all this, but I don't think I had realized your relationship was quite like that…"
"It's not." She shook her head adamantly. "It's not what you think. It's not like that." She swallowed, her throat feeling dry and constricted, her cheeks feeling hot. "He…we…we're just friends. He's been trying to help me…"
Willoughby sat quietly, clearly waiting for more explanation.
Lily took a moment to collect her thoughts and let out a breath as she tried to explain again. "Scorpius was there the first night after…after I lost the draught. I couldn't handle the quiet in my room so I went to the common room and he was there, and I talked to him about my nightmares and anxiety, and he offered to stay with me out there to help me feel safe." She took a breath. "It helped. I slept. I didn't have any nightmares. I woke up feeling better than I had in days." She took another breath. "And then the next night I was in the hospital and I was so scared to be all alone, and then he just was there and he offered to stay with me again, and I didn't want to be alone. And then last night…"
"Last night as well?" He asked.
She snapped her mouth shut quickly, realizing she had said more than necessary.
"We're not doing anything wrong, not really," she said quickly, feeling eager and obligated to defend herself and Scorpius. "We're just sleeping. He's taking care of me. He's just helping me feel safe again. Please…" she hesitated and then in a small voice said "please don't tell my parents."
Professor Willoughby held up a hand to stop her. "I'll be honest, when I found the two of you in bed at the infirmary I was…surprised. To say the least. As I said, I'm glad the two of you have a friendship, but I had not anticipated seeing you two spending the night together."
She tried to interrupt again but he shook his head.
"That being said, after the myriad sixth and seventh year couples I discover in compromising situations on the daily in my rounds, I found the two of you simply sleeping quite…refreshing." He smiled very slightly. "I have told you before that here at school, we try to allow our students space to be responsible for their own choices and actions, and mistakes as well. We prefer to only involve the parents as a last resort or in the case of something very serious. This does not qualify in my opinion."
She thanked him gratefully.
"However, as your professor and head of house, I do not believe I can, in good conscience, encourage you to continue with this nighttime arrangement. Perhaps we can help you find an alternative solution for peaceful sleep that does not involve Mr. Malfoy," he suggested.
Lily nodded.
"I'm going to recommend you go and visit with Madam Rougal. I will speak to her first and fill her in on what she needs to know. I believe she will be able to help you better than I."
Lily nodded again.
"Very good. That is quite enough of that discussion I believe," he said, smiling at her and picking up his teacup to signal an end to the awkward conversation. "Now, I have prepared an assignment for you to make up for what you missed in class yesterday…"
Lily reached into her bag and retrieved the essay she had prepared. She handed it to him and he scanned over it quickly. His confused expression soon melted into a satisfied smirk. He nodded, set the parchment on his desk and took a sip of his tea.
"I see you are just fine without my assignment."
She nodded. "I read Julianne's notes and did some research on the topic."
"Well then I see no need to keep you in my musty office anymore on this Saturday morning."
Lily stood, finally allowing herself to smile a little.
"I'll tell Madam Rougal expect you later today."
"Thank you," she said.
"I'll see you at class."
Lily bid him goodbye and left the office, breathing more easily and feeling more peaceful than she had before going in to the meeting.
After studying with Leona and Julianne for a couple hours by the lake, during which time Lily confided in Leona the same honesty she had given Julianne the previous night (Leona gave Lily the same intense hug and promise of love and support as Julianne had) Lily made her way to the infirmary to check in with Madam Rougal.
While Madam Rougal inspected, cleaned, and re-bandaged Lily's stomach wound, Lily told her about her nightmares and daily anxiety she had been struggling with, including the overwhelming panic she felt every time she left her common room. She then told the Madam Rougal the truth about the calming draught, and instead of feeling embarrassed or ashamed like she anticipated, Lily felt relieved and grateful for being able to share so honestly with the kind healer.
Madam Rougal listened in silence and answered calmly and with no judgment apparent in her tone.
"You've been through so much this year, Lily," Madam Rougal told her. "I can't imagine how hard it has all been on you emotionally, mentally, and physically. Also, feeling like you have to keep it all to yourself and not feel able to share with your family must be very hard."
Lily didn't respond. She didn't know entirely what to say.
"I think you are very strong, very brave," Madam Rougal said. "Though also very proud." She added that part a little emphatically. "I suppose that is why you are a Slytherin and not a Gryffindor like the rest of your family."
Lily felt somewhat surprised to hear such directness from the healer.
"I suspect that is why it has been so hard for you to tell people about your struggles. The thought of reaching out for help instead of being able to take care of things by yourself has been difficult for you, hasn't it?"
Lily nodded. "I don't like having to ask others for help when I should be perfectly capable of dealing with this on my own."
"This is big," Madam Rougal said. "It's okay to ask for help. I'm really glad you came to me."
"So you can help me? You can help me sleep without a draught?"
"I hope so," Madam Rougal said. "Let's discuss options."
Over an hour passed before Lily left the infirmary. She left equipped with an herbal tea concoction, a mix of scented oils, and a new knowledge of meditation and "white noise". The tea was a mixture of chamomile, bergamot, and lavender that Madam Rougal explained was a typical muggle tea used to induce natural drowsiness before bed without resorting to something as strong as a potion. The oils were a combination of lavender, sandalwood, and rose, and when applied to certain pressure points on her head, chest, and wrists were meant to help calm her body for sleep. The meditation and "white noise" were also muggle techniques for helping with sleep. Madam Rougal was adamant that Lily try these before resorting to any other magical help. She wanted her to learn to control her anxiety and nightmares through her own ability and not rely on the tempting use of magic to make it all just go away. Lily was still slightly uncertain about the efficacy of these muggle techniques, but she was willing to try and hopeful due to Madam Rougal's confidence in the matter.
That night, after dinner, studying with Julianne, and showering, Lily planned to sneak down to the kitchens to acquire a cup of hot water to prepare her tea. She didn't like the idea of walking through the dungeon passageways at night, but she knew she needed to. Still, she hesitated at the door, trying to suppress her panic.
"Where are you off to?"
Lily smiled to herself at the sound of his voice. She turned around to acknowledge Scorpius as he crossed the common room towards her.
"The kitchens," she said. "Madam Rougal gave me some tea to try at night to help with the anxiety, but I need to fetch a cup of hot water."
"Want company?" He offered.
She nodded, smiling.
They walked to the kitchens in silence, acquired the hot water for tea, Scorpius accepted the plate of scones and biscuits the helpful kitchen elves offered them, and they headed back to their common room. The tea steeped as they walked, and Lily started to enjoy the strong aroma coming from her mug.
"What's in there?" Scorpius asked.
"A mixture of lavender, chamomile, and I think bergamot," Lily said.
"Hmm, never heard of drinking those together," he said.
"Madam Rougal says it's a common tea muggles use to help induce sleep naturally. I had a long chat with her this afternoon and she gave me a few different techniques to help calm down before bed without having to resort to magic," Lily explained.
"And without having to use me every night," he filled in what Lily hadn't said.
Lily felt strangely guilty at the tone in his voice. "Scor, I have so appreciated how helpful you have been these past few nights. Truly. You've gone above and beyond, but like I said at practice this morning, it's just not a normal arrangement. We can't just spend every night together forever!" She tried to laugh at how absurd it sounded, but Scorpius didn't. Lily didn't understand why he wasn't seeing her perspective on the situation. She decided to try a different method. "Also, Willoughby knows."
"You told him?"
"No, he saw us in the infirmary," she said.
Scorpius momentarily paled.
"He said he wouldn't tell our parents or anything," she said.
"Really? That's good of him. I'm surprised though. I imagine we must have been breaking some sort of rule…"
"Apparently not specifically. He said he was actually relieved to find students just sleeping together and not doing anything more…" she blushed and stopped talking abruptly suddenly wondering why she was repeating the conversation she had had with Willoughby. "Anyway, he did say he couldn't encourage it to continue, and he recommended I go to Madam Rougal for other options, which is what I did, hence the tea." She lifted her cup slightly as an indication.
Scorpius nodded, seeming to understand her point finally.
They reached the door, Scorpius spoke the password, and they entered the empty common room.
"Well, I guess I'll just say goodnight then?"
"I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings this morning at practice," Lily said as Scorpius turned towards the boys' hallway. "I didn't mean to be rude. I do really appreciate your help. Honestly I've been sleeping better with you than I have in months."
Scorpius grinned and walked back towards her. Without a word he suddenly had his arms around her, hugging her sincerely. Lily hesitated, briefly surprised by the hug, then wrapped her arms around his neck tightly.
"How about I sit with you while you have your tea."
Lily nodded, happy with the compromise, and the two took a seat together on the couch in front of the fireplace.
"So the tea is supposed to just be the answer to all your sleep problems?" Scorpius asked as she sipped slowly.
"No, there are a few things she recommended. The tea, and then some oils that are suppose to be soothing, and some deep breathing techniques to calm my mind, and then…this one seems really silly to me…she gave me this music box that's enchanted to play the sound of waves, like at a beach."
He frowned. "Whatever for?"
"Apparently it's supposed to be soothing." She shrugged. "Madam Rougal said if the waves didn't work, some people also do well with the sound of rain. I told her that I always liked visiting my Uncle Bill and Aunt Fleur at their seaside home, so she thought the waves would be best for me."
"I've never been to the beach," he said.
Lily gasped. "Never?"
He shook his head.
"Your parents never took you on holiday to the seaside?"
He shook his head again.
Lily stared at him in shock for a moment. The seaside had been an essential part of her childhood. "That's sad," she said finally. "Everyone needs to visit the sea at some point."
"My parents don't care much for the ocean, or the sand, so it was never a high priority for them."
Lily just shook her head. "Well, I hope you have a chance to change that. The sea is absolutely magical." She laughed slightly. "But not literally, you know?"
Scorpius smiled at her, liking the joy she seemed to feel when discussing something as simple as the seaside.
"I'm glad you confided in Madam Rougal," Scorpius said after a moment of silence.
"It wasn't easy," Lily said.
"Of course not," he agreed, "but it was the right choice. I truly hope her suggestions can help you feel a stronger sense of calm during the night, as well as the day."
"While I was talking to her, Madam Rougal said she thought I was very proud, which is why I didn't want to tell anyone about what happened. Do you think that's what it is? My pride?"
Scorpius thought about it then shrugged. "A bit, yes, probably. You didn't want anyone thinking less of you or thinking you weak at all…"
Lily felt somewhat disappointed that he saw the same thing Madam Rougal had seen in her. She had never thought of her pride as such a negative aspect of her personality.
"But it's not a bad thing to want to be able to take care of your problems on your own," Scorpius told her as though reading her thoughts. "Also, you told me you didn't want your family to worry about you, which makes sense. You've worked hard to be independent here in Slytherin. You don't want what happened to take that away from you."
Lily nodded slowly.
Scorpius sighed then spoke again, a little quietly. "I do still think you should tell your brothers though."
"What?" Lily frowned. "I thought I made it very clear that out of everyone I will not tell me brothers!"
"Look, hear me out for a minute. I know you're afraid of them first off telling your parents, and you don't want them to become over-protective or whatnot, and you don't want them to look at you differently or be worried about you and all that, but let's be honest, they're your brothers. They love you. They would want to know if someone hurt you."
Lily pouted. She didn't like him not taking her side.
"If it had been Cassie…" he hesitated. "If someone had ever touched my sister, I would want to know. That is my responsibility as her older brother. I would want to be able to protect her and help her."
Lily couldn't stop her eye roll at the mention of his sister.
He smirked. "I know you two don't get on at all. She is still my sister though. And if I ever learned someone had hurt her, I would do everything I could to get revenge."
"You didn't do anything to me when I hurt Cassie in class," Lily said.
"Messing with her hair is hardly hurting her. Besides, that's different. She had that coming." He shrugged.
Lily smiled at the memory.
"I know she can be rotten at times, a downright twit honestly, but she's not a bad person at heart. Not really," Scorpius said. "She was really sweet when we were younger."
Lily frowned, not entirely sure she could believe his description of Cassiopeia.
Scorpius seemed to sense her disbelief. "Honestly. Over the past couple years she's become a bit too much like my aunt. When I went to school first year, my mum let Cassie go and stay in Paris with my Aunt Daphne for the year. Daphne's daughter, Celeste, is about the same age as Cassie and they have always been close. Daphne's parenting is very different from my mum though and I don't think she was the best influence on my sister. Her own daughter is absolutely rotten. She was a terrible example for Cassie." He shrugged. "Cassie begged my mum to send her to Beaubaxtons instead of Hogwarts so she could stay with Celeste who was going there, but my mum fortunately saw that it would not be in her best interest. She brought her home and sent her to Hogwarts, hoping to help fix some of the selfishness and negative habits she had picked up in France."
Lily listened quietly to Scorpius' explanation. She didn't feel that she should contribute her own opinions regarding Cassie's negative personality traits. She simply nodded.
"I'm sorry she hasn't been a good roommate to you," he said. "I hope she improves. I think she's missing out on an opportunity to have a good mate like you."
Lily smiled, her cheeks blushing slightly.
"All that to say…" He pressed on quickly. "I think your brothers would want to know."
Lily sighed. "Probably. I can't tell them though. I can sort this out on my own. There's no reason for them to know. It doesn't affect them personally."
Scorpius looked prepared to argue again, but she shook her head.
"I'm actually starting to feel a bit sleepy," she said. "Maybe this tea really will work for me."
They both stood.
"I hope it will," he said. "I hope you can get sleep tonight." He gave her another hug. "Goodnight, Lily. Have sweet dreams."
Lily returned the hug and headed to her room.
…
In the days that followed, Lily found herself gradually growing less anxious about leaving her rooms. She was able to attend classes without trembling or panic attacks. She stayed focused on the lessons, took dutiful notes, performed well in everything, and rarely suffered from nightmares. Following Madam Rougal's suggestions, Lily was able to start sleeping on her own without much struggle, and that brought her confidence to get through her days without too much struggle.
It helped that Payne had started doubling their practices in preparation for the final game against Gryffindor in three weeks. Often by dinner time, Lily was so exhausted she could barely find the energy to make her tea to help her sleep, sometimes stumbling into bed and sleeping soundly without it.
After two weeks sleeping without Scorpius' help, even Willoughby commented on how proud he was of her performance in classes and lessons, and noted a signifiant improvement in her overall personality and mood.
"I have been sleeping better," Lily offered as her explanation to her overall attitude improvement. "And I've been sleeping completely alone…" She felt inclined to say.
Willoughby smiled, understanding her point. "I'm glad Madam Rougal was able to help you."
They were currently in the potions classroom brewing a batch of Murtlap Essence for Hagrid who had been on the wrong side of one of his creature's temper tantrums and needed some extra help with scrapes and burns he had acquired. He had requested it of Professor Willoughby, not wanting to bother Madam Rougal, and Willoughby had thought it would be a fun and useful lesson for Lily to learn.
Willoughby watched in silence as Lily carefully measured out the correct number of Murtlap tentacles into a copper cauldron.
"We're close to the end of the year now," he said when she had finished counting them out.
She nodded.
"I've been thinking of lessons for you to do at home over summer on your own," he said.
Lily smiled. "I'll be allowed to practice on my own?"
"Well, not entirely. I can't fully allow you to brew unknown potions at home unsupervised, but I'd like you to do some research and prepare notes to discuss within me when you return to school."
Lily's smile faltered slightly. "Just notes?"
He grinned. "I know it's not quite as exciting as brewing potions, but important nonetheless."
She shrugged. "I suppose."
"Over the summer I'd like you to devote your studies to old magic," he said.
"Old magic?"
"Yes, magic from the early days of record keeping, before we had nice library books with all our potions and spells indexed for us. I want you research other times and other places. Study how magic has been used all over, and who it has affected."
Lily frowned.
"For example," he said, seeming to sense both her uncertainty and displeasure with the task. "What do you know of the Salem witches in the seventeenth century?"
"Umm, nothing," Lily said. "It sounds vaguely familiar, but no, nothing."
He nodded. "Start there. Research the history, the legends, the facts…try to understand what was true and what was falsely created. I want you to understand what people, specifically women, of that time suffered for using magic."
"Alright," Lily agreed. "That sounds interesting."
"I think you'll find that it is very interesting, and also very informative." He paused. "You might also learn a thing or two from the herbs they focused on in that time, and how they were used."
Lily nodded again. She did think it sounded interesting. Perhaps not quite as exciting as it would be to brew potions at home, but she was certainly interested in learning more about the history of magic and witches, and if Professor Willoughby told her it was important, she believed him.
…
By early April, everyone was talking about the upcoming game — the final match of the year. Lily wasn't surprised that the majority of the school was already supporting Gryffindor to take the cup, though she was surprised to find the occasional student from Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff approach her and tell her they were rooting for her. Lorcan and Lysander were among those supporting Lily, though they made it clear they were rooting for a Gryffindor win, they still wanted her to catch the snitch.
Payne had upped practices to twice a day, and with the added stress from practices as well as the extra homework piling on as the year grew closer to final exams, Lily was exhausted. She barely had time to finish her homework before crashing at night.
Lily had however managed to fully repair her temporarily damaged friendships with Julianne and Leona. When they weren't in classes and Lily wasn't at practices the three girls were constantly together, studying or making plans for their impending summer break. Louis had even started talking to her again, which meant that she finally felt comfortable eating at the Gryffindor table again from time to time like she had at the beginning of the year, which is where she found herself one Friday night, surrounded by family, discussing who was going to win the final game the next weekend. Julianne had agreed to sit with her that night, and now she sat beside her, pressed in between Lily and Louis.
"Obviously you guys don't stand a chance," Rose said, laughing as Lily rolled her eyes.
"It's true, little Flower, our team has been unbeatable this year!" Dominque chimed in. Lily rolled her eyes again.
"So has ours!" Lily said. "Payne has been a fantastic captain." She noticed Lucy smile from a couple seats down from Dominique. She hadn't ever asked directly, but Lily felt certain that Lucy had not informed any of the other Gryffindor cousins about her relationship with the Slytherin captain.
"Yeah, we're not planning to lose the cup again this year," Roxie said. "You lot got lucky last year."
"I suppose we'll see," Lily said. Albus who sat across from her, gave her a meaningful wink and a smile.
Roxie and Dominique laughed, but Rose shrugged. "They're right Lil, we're stronger than we were last year. Your team will have to work extra hard to have a chance!"
Lily smiled. "I'm not worried."
"It's our new beaters," Dominque said. "We have two new beaters this year. They're sixth years, and they are so intense!"
Roxie laughed and nodded her agreement.
"Have you met Leo and Geoff?" Lily asked. "They invented intense!"
Everyone laughed, knowing full well that Lily was right about the Slytherin beaters.
"Oh! Here they come," Roxie said, getting her laughter under control. She held up her hand and waved rapidly.
Lily glanced over her shoulder and spotted her brother James walking towards them, one arm slung around Bea's shoulders. Two tall boys walking beside him were laughing at something James had said as they approached.
"Hey Lils, haven't seen you at our table in a bit," James said, smiling at his sister as he greeted her.
Lily smiled in return and accepted the brief hug Bea gave her in greeting.
"We were just discussing the total inevitability of Gryffindor beating Slytherin in the final." Dominique announced, flashing her perfect white teeth in a wide smile. Lily loved Dominque's smile, though she would never tell her so. It was almost more perfect than her sister, Victoire's, but that was where the comparisons stopped. Dominque had spent her entire life trying to shun her Veela tendencies, keeping her smooth strawberry blonde hair cut short, never wearing makeup, and often choosing to dress in baggy clothes that hid her perfect figure; meanwhile Victoire and even Louis had embraced being part Veela.
Rose, Roxie, and James joined in on her laughter while Lily rolled her eyes.
"Sure, laugh it up now you guys," Lily said. "You won't be laughing next week when we beat you!"
"Good luck with that," James said. "Our beaters have been given strict instructions to not let Slytherin score any goals."
"Funny, I thought that was your job," Lily said.
Rose erupted in laughter, as did Louis, Julianne, and Albus. Dominique rolled her eyes, but Lily noticed Roxie smirk slightly.
"Very funny." James snapped.
"Anyway, our beaters don't plan to let you Gryffindors score at all either," Lily said. "And I'm not afraid of your beaters." She offered a slight smile up to the two tall Gryffindors. "No offense guys."
One of the tall beaters smirked, placed one foot up on the bench beside Lily and leaned down towards her face. "You sure about that, Little Potter?"
Lily had never entirely understood how something or someone could "take one's breath away," but in that moment when the Gryffindor beater spoke to her, she felt as though she couldn't remember how to breathe. Her chest constricted and her throat went dry. Her heart may as well have stopped beating.
"Lils?"
She could feel her heart suddenly pulsing very fast and heavy against her chest. She could almost hear it echoing in her head.
"Lily?"
She was only vaguely aware of her cousins speaking to her.
"Hey, earth to Lils!" Rose snapped her fingers in front of Lily's face and Roxie simultaneously pinched her on the arm.
Lily jumped and reality came rushing back in around her. The noise of the Great Hall became overwhelming loud and her senses flooded with too-bright lights and too-strong smells. She felt nauseas and her skin felt hot.
"Hey, you okay?" James was leaning in towards her now, his amber eyes curious and concerned.
She saw that the beater had moved back away from her, but one glance up at him and the second beater showed Lily they were both smirking down at her, their pale eyes cold and full of cruel humor.
"I'm not feeling well," Lily said quickly. She stood from the table, stumbling backwards over the bench. The second beater reached out and caught her as she stumbled, his large hands taking hold of her arms firmly.
"Whoa there," he said, and his voice stung her ears. "Wouldn't want you getting hurt before the big game now would we?" He and the other beater chuckled, and Lily wanted to throw up.
"Let go of me," she managed to spit out, upsetting herself that it came out as barely a whimper.
Instead of releasing her, the beater tightened his grip on Lily's arms, his fingers digging into her skin, pressing against her bones. The other beater's smirk deepened.
"You sure you're not afraid of us a little bit, Little Potter?" he asked. "You look positively terrified."
James and Dominique laughed slightly at Lily's nervous expression, clearly misinterpreting her panic for fear of the game.
"Don't worry, sis, we'll take it a little easy on you," James said.
"Yeah, we won't beat you too hard," the beater said. "We'll let you keep some of that Slytherin pride intact." He finally loosened his hold on her and Lily slipped from his grip faster than a snitch could fly.
Without another word or glance towards any of her family or friends, Lily fled from the Great Hall. She ran all the way down the steps to the dungeons. Instead of turning towards the Slytherin rooms, she ran to the potions classroom, seeking out the solitude and comfort of the familiar space.
When the door opened only moments later, she was sitting on the floor behind the professor's desk, her back pressed up against the stone wall.
"Lily?" Julianne's questioning voice called out.
Lily didn't respond or move.
"Lily, are you here?"
Her heavy breathing most of betrayed her presence because of a moment later, Julianne and Scorpius appeared behind the desk.
"When you ran like that, I got worried," Julianne said, sitting down beside her best friend. "I didn't know what to do…" she glanced up toward Scorpius. "So I brought help."
"Lily, what's going on? Why are you so…terrified?" Scorpius slid down the wall to sit on Lily's other side.
Breathing still felt hard, and most of her breaths came out more as shaky gasps.
"What happened?"
Tears pricked at her eyes but she couldn't cry.
"Did your brother say something to upset you?"
Lily gasped for air, her chest still feeling constricted. She managed to shake her head.
"What's going on Lily? Help me out here."
"It was them," she finally said, her voice barely a murmur.
"Who?" He asked.
"The Gryffindor beaters," she said. "I don't know their names. It was them. They were the ones…" she took a breath, squeezing her eyes at how painful it felt just to breathe.
"They were the ones…" he tried to fill in the gaps. Then realization hit and his eyes widened. "Oh Salazar. Are you sure?"
Lily nodded. "Two of them at least, I don't know who the third is, but I recognized their voices and their eyes…and when he touched me…" a tear finally slipped from her eyes.
Julianne gasped and clutched Lily's arm. Scorpius reached out and took her other hand, holding it tightly. Her body tensed, but he didn't release her and she didn't pull away. They all sat silently for a few minutes, Lily's gasping breaths and subtle sniffles the only sound in the room.
"What are we going to do about this?" Scorpius finally asked, breaking the silence. "Now that you know, you have to tell someone."
"What?" Lily's eyes widened in panic and she shook her head. "No!"
"Lily." Scorpius' voice was firm and a little irritated. "You have to tell someone. They can not get away with this. Before when you didn't know who they were I let it go, but now we know who they are! They're on the bloody quidditch team. Do you think your brother would let them play with him if he knew?"
"I can't tell James!" Lily insisted.
"He's right, Lily," Julianne said softly. "They must be punished. They can't be allowed to just go on thinking they got away with what they did."
Lily shook her head firmly. "I can't tell James!"
Julianne released a huffy little sigh.
"Julianne, go and find Regina," Scorpius said.
"Regina?"
He nodded and she stood, though she seemed somewhat hesitant to leave Lily.
"I won't leave her," he said. "Just go and bring Regina here quickly."
Lily stared straight ahead, not talking, and still only crying faintly, but her eyes had become glazed and vacant and Julianne didn't like the look of her friend at the moment. She nodded to Scorpius though and ran from the potions classroom to seek out the Slytherin prefect. Scorpius seemed to think it wise to remain silent while they waited for Julianne to return, so he held Lily's hand quietly, letting his thumb stroke gently across her palm in what he hoped was a soothing manner. She sat beside him, unmoving, her breathing still loud and rough, her tears silently staining her cheeks.
Julianne returned shortly, Regina in toe.
Regina took in Lily's appearance with one swift look of her golden eyes, scowled, placed her manicured hands on her perfectly curvy hips, and demanded explanation in a firm yet kind tone.
When Lily didn't answer immediately, Scorpius spoke up. "She figured out who they were. She recognized their voices and their eyes…" He felt Lily's hand tighten on his briefly.
"Who is it?" Regina asked.
"The Gryffindor beaters," Scorpius said. "Don't know the third yet."
Regina's thin eyebrows lifted slightly at that information, but she covered her surprise well and instead twisted her lips into a satisfied smile. "Well, it'll only be a matter of time until we sort that out. First things first. We will bring this information to Willoughby and Longbottom as their head of house and have them dealt with. Immediately."
Lily started shaking her head.
"Why are you shaking your head at me?" Regina asked.
"I don't want to talk to them…" Lily said slowly, her breathing finally calming down slightly.
Scorpius and Regina frowned at her.
"Why not?"
"They're Gryffindors!" Lily exclaimed as though it was all she needed to say.
"Your point?" Regina asked.
"They're sixth year Gryffindors. They're beaters. They're star players. They're friends with my brothers." She rambled off her reasons rapidly, suddenly seeming more angry than sad. "Do you really thin anyone is going to believe me over them?"
"Oh Lily!" Julianne let out a breath and returned to her seated position beside her best friend.
"They'll tell everyone I've made it all up," she said. "I know they will. I'll seem like a little Slytherin just making up a story to get the Gryffindor team in trouble before the final match." She shook her head. "I won't do it."
"So you want them to just go unpunished?" Scorpius asked.
"Do you really think you could go through school all next year knowing they were walking around just waiting for another chance to attack you?" Regina questioned her. She leaned against the desk. "Lily, this isn't something you can just let go. It's been eating at you for months now. It's only going to get worse now that you know who they are." Her eyes narrowed slightly. "Trust me."
Lily sighed. "Of course I want them punished," she said. "I just don't want to make any more trouble. I've just started getting back on good terms with James and everyone…I don't want them to think I'm making it up."
"James wouldn't think that," Julianne said. "He loves you, Lil. You know he does."
"I agree. You need to tell him." Scorpius said. "He deserves to know."
"Look, I agree with them. Your family deserves to hear it from you. Your brother deserve to know what sort of scum he's flying with," Regina said. "If you won't tell them though, and decide you do not want the involved, then I'll deal with it myself."
Lily frowned. "What does that mean?"
Regina smiled slightly. "I'll figure something out, but I refuse to let those wankers get away with this."
Lily panicked slightly, wondering what the beautiful, but clearly somewhat vindictive and cruel fifth year had in mind.
"Fine," she said. "I'll tell James and the others tomorrow."
"Do you promise?" Scorpius asked.
Lily nodded. "I'll tell them first thing after breakfast."
"I think that's the right choice, Lil," Julianne smiled and squeezed her friend's hand. "I'll be right there with you when you tell them, alright?"
Lily nodded again.
Regina seemed satisfied with the decision. She moved forward very swiftly, bent forward to give Lily a hug then said goodnight to the group and left.
"I'm proud you," Scorpius said. "I know it's not an easy thing to agree to."
Lily shrugged. "I don't think I had much of a choice. Regina seemed prepared to do something drastic if I didn't."
"Yeah, I she's a bit…intense," Julianne said.
"It'll be okay," Scorpius said. "I know it will. Your brother won't let you down."
Lily wasn't so sure, but she offered her friends a brief smile to try and reassure them that she was okay, then she let Scorpius go to the kitchens to fetch her water for her nightly tea, while Julianne walked her back to their common room.
Lily couldn't help but feel apprehensive about speaking with her family the next morning, but she had committed now. She knew Scorpius was right. They would want to know, but a part of her feared their reactions wouldn't be as supportive as she needed them to be.
A/N: Almost ALL of my readers requested her brothers find out, which is what I had wanted anyway, so it works out perfectly. Next chapter will be focused on all of that. There are only about 4 more chapters left of this story and then I'll move on to third year! Yay!
Question: Should I make Year 3 "Book 3" a new book posting all together, or should I just continue it on here and leave ALL the years together as one epic story. I had debated this with the first one, and decided to make a new post for book 2, but I've kind of regretted it.