I don't own The Loud House.
Welcome back! I know it's been a while but I'm nearing the end of the first Major Arc in my "Digi-Loud Adventure" story so most of my focus is on that. I've also been working on a couple of one shots so please check those out after you read this one. Once I finish writing up all of the chapters for DLA, I'll be focusing on this one as I post the chapters for the other story in a two week update schedule. So please have patience as I have not abandoned this story.
The next chapter we will see the end of the civil war as Ace and Jack team up to defeat the last remaining survivors of the bet. And I have big plans for the finally with all of the characters that have already appeared and more are sure to pop up as well. It's gonna be a finale that rivals that of Endgame. Well, probably not but a guy can dream can't he?
I hope you enjoy this chapter and I'll see you all next time.
Lust For A Loud
Chapter 11: Ace Savvy/One-Eyed Jack: Civil War Part 3
As the door to the basement slammed opened, a ball of tangled limbs came tumbling down the stairs. As Haiku was about to kiss the boy that she had been crushing on, a loud noise pulled their attention away as several shouts and screams came from behind them. Becky and Sam were knocked back and they collided with Haiku and knocked both her and Clyde to the floor.
Luna, who was used to things like this, dodge out of the way while Jordan and Cristina just watched as a Lobster girl stood on top of the pile with her hands on her hips.
"I WIN!" She declared happily as she held her head up high and puffed out her chest.
"Like hell you do!"
From behind her, Margo pulled herself free of the pile and tackled the lobster girl to the ground. They landed on the ground and began to roll around trying to pin the other to the ground.
Ronnie Anne was the next to pull herself free from the pile but before she could do anything, Polly tackled her to the ground. Lincoln managed to get up but he was surrounded by several very horny and pissed off girls. Seeing that he was surrounded, Jordan and Cristina let loose a battle cry before they jumped into the fray.
"Dude..." Luna just watched as the two sides continued to fight. She honestly wasn't sure if she should help Linc out or not. This wasn't supposed to be a part of the plan.
"Sam, what the hell are you doing!?" Luna heard Becky shout.
Turning towards her girlfriend, Luna's jaw dropped at what she was seeing. Sam had a girl with red hair that was on Lynn's roller derby team in a headlock. And then before Luna could say anything, she watched as Sam adjusted her hold so that she could get her in a sleeper hold. The poor girl didn't stand a chance and soon she was knocked out.
"That's one down!" Sam declared triumphantly.
But her victory was short lived as Lynn speared her from the side knocking the blonde to the ground. The fighting continued until Luna realized that she had forgotten about Clyde and Haiku. Turning around, she was surprised to see that both preteens were missing.
"Dude, where did they go?" She asked Becky.
"I don't know, they were just right here a second ago." Becky said as she looked around. The only thing that remained was the chair that Clyde had been tied to.
While that had been going on, Lincoln overheard them and smiled as everything was going according to plan...right before Sam was knocked into him as she and Lynn fought for dominance.
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Clyde panted as he and Haiku stopped in the Loud House's living room. When the fighting erupted in the basement, Haiku had freed him and led him upstairs before anyone could notice. She was still dressed in nothing by her striped underwear and bandaid nipples. And as he stared at her, Clyde began to blush as he remembered what was about to happen before the chaos happened. Haiku was going to kiss him.
Him. Not Lincoln. But regular, nerdy, plain loser Clyde McBride. He had counted it as a blessing when Lincoln helped him get Penelope as his girlfriend and he had listened to his friend's advice in order to keep her happy. And while he did feel remorseful for his actions (or lack thereof) while tied up in the basement, Clyde couldn't help but feel shocked that anyone would willingly have a crush on him.
As he stared at her, Haiku turned to face him and he saw that she blushed at the intensity of his stare. As if for the first time since this whole thing began she was embarrassed about her lack of clothing. Could she really be crushing on him? Clyde couldn't help but wonder.
"Clyde..." When Haiku spoke, she didn't betray her emotions, keeping her tone as monotone as she always did. "I wish to apologize..."
"For what?" He asked.
"I nearly did something that I would've grown to regret..." Haiku said as she hung her head in shame. She crossed her right arm across her chest in a vain attempt to cover her chest while using her left to cover her clothed flower. "I would've kissed you and thus broken the bond between you and Penelope."
"Why did you do it?" Clyde couldn't help but ask.
Haiku was silent for a moment before she glanced up at him. "Because I hold strong feelings of affection for you, Clyde." Clyde wasn't sure who was more surprised, him or her by her confession. Emboldened by her confession, Haiku raised her head up so that she could properly face him. "I agreed to help Lincoln with his plan to get you to lose the bet because he offered me an opportunity that I could not refuse. He offered me a chance to confess my feelings to you. Yet despite his offer, he warned me that you belonged to another and that my efforts would prove fruitless."
"Lincoln told you that?" Clyde was impressed with his friend's foresight. Now that Clyde was no longer being tempted by the incredibly attractive girls, he was able to think more clearly and he knew that he would never be okay with cheating on Penelope. Curse his hormones and their strong influence on him!
"Yes. But despite his warning, I chose to proceed because I'd rather face the prospect of tell you my feelings then keeping them bottled inside." Haiku slowly closed the distance between them. Each step seemed to slow down time for them and Clyde was sure that he knew what was coming. "Even if you reject me, I still won't regret my choice. Because it is far better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. My life is already devoid of most joy, let it not be devoid of love. Let me have but a single taste...a single kiss..."
Clyde knew what Haiku was asking of him and his heart broke for her because he couldn't give it to her. Haiku was a good friend and whenever they would have lunch with their group of friends, Clyde could recall the great conversations they'd have. And as she stopped before him, her face inches from his, Clyde reached up and cupped her cheek. She sighed as she leaned into his touch, rubbing her cheek up and down his palm.
"I'm sorry..." Clyde said, his voice barely above a whisper.
"Don't be...I knew this would be the outcome. Penelope is a lucky girl, treasure her always." Haiku said as she pulled away from his touch. There was a sad acceptance in her eyes. But despite that she still smiled at him.
"Haiku-" Clyde began but was cut off by a voice on the stairs.
"Not so fast, Haiku!"
Both of them turned towards the stairs where the voice had come from. Standing halfway down the stairs was none other than Penelope. But what caught their eye was what she was wearing. The normally poofy, curly haired girl had somehow managed to tame her wild hair and turn it into a sleek cascade of reddish brown hair that fell down past her shoulders. She wore a black hair band in order to keep her now sleek hair out of her face.
She wore the classic black domino mask of Ace Savvy with her glasses over them. And following that theme, she wore the costume of Lady Ace, Ace Savvy's female version. She was dressed in a red spandex one piece suit with no leggings. And she had on the blue cape draped over her shoulders. Around her waist she had on a red skirt along with her very own utility belt. And to top it off she wore the black Ace Savvy boots since she still couldn't walk in heels.
"P-Penelope!" Clyde barely managed to say. Despite what he had seen today, this was without a doubt the hottest thing he'd seen all day.
Penelope didn't look it since most thought that she was a nerdy wallflower but she was nearly as active as Jordan was. Her legs were sexy as hell, especially in those boots...wait, was he more attracted to her because she was cosplaying or because she was cosplaying a female version of Ace Savvy?
Penelope slowly walked down the stairs and towards Clyde, making sure to walk with purpose towards him. She swayed her hips and put one foot in front of the other like in the video she'd seen. And it was working as Clyde became increasingly flustered.
As she came to a stop in front of him, Penelope traced a single finger across his cheek to underneath his chin. "Do you like what you see, Clyde~" She asked, adding a bit a playful tone at the end.
Clyde could only nod dumbly as he stared mesmerized at her. He couldn't for the life of him remember what he was doing before she arrived.
Giggling, she turned to face Haiku who was staring at her with almost equal shock. "Haiku, do you have feelings for Clyde?" She asked the normally goth girl.
"I...I do..." She said after a moment of hesitation. Haiku wasn't sure if she should be admitting such things to Clyde's girlfriend but she had walked in on them as she confessed and she was still lacking in the clothes department.
"Strong feelings?" Penelope asked. "Do you think that you love him?"
"I..." Haiku wasn't sure that she was in love with Clyde. After all, how could she be sure when she wasn't sure what love was? She knew that while she was fond of Lincoln, she didn't love him. Sure, she enjoyed their time together but she didn't feel for him like the books described love should be. But as for Clyde, she felt stronger feelings for him. Much stronger than the ones she felt for Lincoln but could that be classified as love? She didn't know and she told Penelope as much.
"Well, if you're willing to find out...I'm open to the idea of Clyde having more than one girlfriend." Penelope said as she reached out and grabbed a hold of Haiku's hands. "All that I ask is that you treasure him as much as I do. And for us to become great friends..."
Haiku couldn't believe her ears and neither could Clyde. He'd have TWO girlfriends!? He thought that only Lincoln was capable of having more than one girl. Clyde watched as a genuine smile appeared on Haiku face as she gave Penelope a single nod.
"I promise." Haiku told her.
"Great!" Penelope then enveloped the goth girl into a big hug before she turned to face her boyfriend. "Clyde, I hope that you're okay with this?"
"M-Me?" Clyde couldn't believe it. He raised a single finger pointed at himself as he asked his girlfriend. She couldn't possibly be talking to him, could she?
"Of course, silly. Are you okay with having two cute girlfriends?" Penelope asked again.
Haiku stayed silent as she watched Clyde try to answer the question. She couldn't help but feel nervous. If Clyde said no then she'd lose any chance at ever being with him so long as he stayed with Penelope. But if he said yes then maybe she could be happy...maybe, just maybe, she could find out what love is all about.
Clyde swallowed hard before he began to nod. He throat felt as dry as the Sahara desert. He honestly couldn't believe that he was going to have two incredible cute and sexy girlfriends! It almost felt like he wasn't just Lincoln's sidekick anymore! Not that his best friend would ever treat him like that, they were partners after all. But Clyde's self esteem issues often made him feel like that was his role in life. To be the sidekick and never get the spotlight. But right now for the first time ever, Clyde felt like he was the hero. That he was the man with the plan. That Clyde McBride was the main character in his very own story.
"Good." Penelope reached out and grabbed his hand, pulling him close to her and Haiku. "I think...that I'd ready, Clyde."
"Ready?" Clyde's eyes opened wide as he realized what she was telling him. "As in ready?"
"Yes." She said with a nod.
"H-Here? In Lincoln's house?" Clyde asked as he began to feel his heartbeat rise. He couldn't believe it. It was happening. It was finally happening!
"Not in the living. Up in the attic, there's a bed already set up." Penelope told him as she began to lead them up the stairs.
"I'm coming too?" Haiku asked when she felt the redhead pull her along.
"Of course! You're his girlfriend now too. And to celebrate we're going to give Clyde a day that he'll never forget." Penelope said brightly.
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"So you mean to tell me that you came up with this whole elaborate plan just to get your best friend laid?" Luna asked as she sat on top of her girlfriend's back.
"Yup. I call it Operation-Help-Clyde-Lose-The-Bet-But-Also-Help-Him-Get-Closer-To-Penelope-And-Also-Maybe-Get-Haiku-To-Become-His-Girlfriend-Too-And-I-Really-Gotta-Come-Up-With-A-Shorter-Name-For-This-Mission." Lincoln said as he kneeled on top of Lynn, who he had handcuffed behind her back. He was holding her down with his right knee in between her shoulder blades. "I could tell that Clyde wasn't really in it to win it. He just wanted to see if he could so I came up with a way that he could both lose and win at the same time."
"You really are a cunning son of a bitch, you know that?" Becky said as she leaned against the washing machine. "If you really wanted to you could probably take over the world."
"Nah, that's Lisa's thing. I just want to get a switch." Lincoln said with a shrug.
"Get off of me, Stinkcoln!" Lynn growled from underneath him.
"Will you play nice if I do?" Lincoln asked his older sister.
The sporty Loud glared at the blonde rocker that was being held down a few feet away from her. "I will if she does."
"What's the matter, Lynn? Scared that I'll kick your ass?" Sam taunted.
"Oh that's it! Bring it on, Sharp!" Lynn struggled to break free but she couldn't throw her brother off of her.
"Did you really have to do that?" Luna asked with a sigh.
"Yes." Sam said looking extremely proud of herself. "Yes I did."
"You know, why didn't you just ask Lisa to buy you one?" Becky asked him. "You told me once that she's got a lot of money saved up because of her work, right?"
"I...huh..." Lincoln was actually stumped for once. Both him and Luna shared a look that said 'why didn't I think of that?'
"You know, she's got a point. Lisa loves you just like the rest of us so she probably would do it." Luna admitted. "All you'd have to do is an experiment or two."
"Well, it's too late now. I still want to try and win this." Lincoln said. And just then his watch beeped and he got a text from Lisa that Clyde had been eliminated from the competition. "Now it's just Liam and Zach left..."
And Lincoln began to laugh in a manner that reminded Luna of how Luan laughed during her April Fool's pranks.
"I love you, bruh, but you freak me the fuck out sometimes." Luna confessed.
This caused Lincoln to chuckled weakly as he scratched the back of his head. "Sorry, I've been spending too much time with Luan I think."
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That night Lincoln was walking out of his room without his shirt on. Since Lynn had been pissed off at him, he had to give her a full body massage and go down on her for almost an hour until she was satisfied enough to forgive him. She was currently sleeping on his bed while he went towards the kitchen for something to drink. He was dehydrated after all.
But as he was about to walk down the hall, the trap door to the attic opened up and dropped down in front of him. Haiku, Penelope, and Clyde all came walking down with a look of pure bliss on their faces. But as soon as they saw him, they stopped.
"L-Lincoln! What are you doing here?" Clyde asked his best friend.
"I live here?" Lincoln said as though it were obvious.
It was at that point that Clyde realized that he wasn't at his house. "Oh man, my dads have got to be worried about where I am!"
"Don't worry about it, buddy, I took care of it." Lincoln said with a wave of his hand.
"What did you do?" Clyde asked.
"Lisa has a voice modulator that can change my voice to sound exactly like yours. So I called your folks and told them that you wanted to spend the night with us." Lincoln explained. He then gave his best friend a playful grin. "I was sure that you'd be up there until at least the next morning."
This caused all three of them to blush. "Well, I'm not like you. I have limits you know." Clyde admitted.
"He did perform admirably." Haiku spoke up as she placed her hand on his arm. She gazed at him with a look that Lincoln had never seen on her face. At least not when she looked at him. And honestly, he was happy for her.
"I have to thank you, Lincoln, for helping set this up." Penelope said as she reached out and shook his hand. "You have no idea what it means to me that Clyde and I were able to strengthen our relationship." She then glanced over at Haiku and blushed. "And I'm also happy with the new member."
"I'm glad to see that it all worked out." Lincoln said. He had a pretty good idea on what Haiku and Penelope did while Clyde recovered. "Well, Buddy, the three of you are welcome to use the shower and stay the night if you want. We have food in the kitchen if your hungry and the attic is sound proof if you decide that you want to go at it again."
"Thanks Lincoln, you're a true pal." Clyde said with a smile. "But what about the bet?"
"Don't worry, what I have in store for Zach and Liam will guarantee me the win." Lincoln said confidently. "It's not like they know my weakness or anything."
And as they shared a laugh, none of them could ever have suspected that the very next day would be the day that Royal Woods would forever remember the name, Lincoln Loud.
End of chapter.
