June 23, 1991
Jeff's POV
Today is the day. Today I have to say goodbye to my soulmate, the mother of my boys, all because she wanted another baby. The only thought in my head was Lucy was gone and she was never coming back. God help me, how was I going to raise four, no five boys on my own? The other boys would at least remember her, but what about Gordon and Alan, and how would Alan react when he realises his mother died bringing him into this cruel cruel world? Then I realized what I was saying that baby, that thing took my world from me. Why was it fair that he got to live when his good, sweet, loving mother who never hurt anyone died.
Just as I was being consumed by these thoughts, I heard knocking on my door opening it I nearly broke down when I saw my poor lost looking boys on the other side in their suits. Virgil was holding John and Gordon's hands one on either side of him and Scott held the troublesome burden who caused all this hurt, Alan in his arms. It was all I could do not to take the brat and throw him away. Just then thatthingstarted to cry, what right does he have to cry I thought angrily. He caused all of this pain for our family we will never be whole again, thanks to him.
I was silent the whole way to the cemetery letting the boys comfort each other. As we neared the cemetery I suprised all the boys by asking to hold Alan I had'nt held him at all having lost myself to grief so shortly after his birth. Scott handed him over and I felt the joy I always felt when I held one of my children until I remembered what he had done with his birth and felt nothing but hate. Looking down I was met with stunningly clear blue eyes the color of two small saphires.
All during the service I was stoic and quiet, having taken it into my arms more for press reasons than anything. The boys were absolutely inconsolable as the priest went on about what a special person his Lucy had been. As if I didn't know these boys are a testament to our shared love I thought forlornly.
All too soon it was time to place Lucy where she would rest in the cold, hard ground for all eternity. As the dark box holding my heart was lowered into the ground I looked at the burden in my arms and leaning down I whispered to my newest son.
"You see that box Alan your mommy is in there Alan but you will never know her because you killed her. It is your fault your brothers won't have her when they need her and I won' have my wife by my side the way it should be. You deserve to not have a mommy, because you are a horrible, dastardly little demon child." Having said my peace to Alan I straightened up and carried on with my stoicness, until it was time to get in the car and go back home.