Decision

Disclaimer: Still with the no owning.

Summary: Buffy and Giles find Spike.

Reviews: Yes please. More than one if y'all don't mind, pretty please? Readers Rock but Reviewers RULE!

A/N: This fic is finished but not gonna be completely posted for a few more days. Let me know what you think, bad or good.

WayWard Childe, you rock!

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Summers house…

The first thing Buffy and Giles noticed was the open front door. The lamp in the living room throwing soft light on the disarranged furniture was the second. "We're too late, he's here." Buffy said.

"Are you sure he hasn't left?" The Watcher asked.

She shook her blonde head. "No, spider-sense is climbing my spine. He's here. Or another vamp is. And he's the only one with an invite right now. Come on." She started up the stairs slowly, keeping her senses extended to find her mother's heartbroken boyfriend. "He likes her closet. Let's try there first." She said softly as they reached the upper hallway. She frowned when the doorknob of her mother's bedroom door refused to give. "Crap. He's locked the door." She hissed. A sharp turn of her wrist made the lock give way and the door swung open. She flipped the switch on the wall that controlled the bedside lamp. They paused at the sight of the motionless vampire sitting on the floor.

"Buffy, check the window." Giles whispered near her ear. She blinked at the wide open drapes of the east-facing window.

"Oh, no." She gasped.

"Go away, Slayer." The expressionless voice shocked the couple in the doorway.

She ignored the command and walked slowly over to him. The absolute stillness of his body chilled her. She crouched in front of him cautiously. "She wouldn't want this, you know." Buffy whispered.

"Doesn't matter now, does it?" Spike spoke without moving. His eyes were closed and his face was stony. "I'll be out of your hair soon enough. If not here, then outside in her garden. No matter to me so long as it's done." Spike fought the urge to begin smashing things in his grief. "Just - let me go." He whispered, agony finally making an appearance in his voice.

Uncertain as to what she should do, she looked up at Giles. He shook his head, at a loss himself.

"What happened?" The whispered question stunned them both. "Was it a demon? Something I can go kill before sunrise?" The aching need in his voice for something to make sense broke the hearts of the humans in the room.

Giles cleared his voice. "Um, no. It wasn't a demon. The doctor says there was nothing anyone could do. He'd warned her of the possibility after her surgery but they had been fairly certain she was out of danger. They are just as shocked as the rest of us."

"What happened?" The vampire growled impatiently.

"It was an aneurysm. A blood vessel in her head burst. It was over in seconds. She didn't feel a thing." Giles quietly recited what they had been told in the emergency room.

"Well, damn." Spike swore. A muscle pulsed in his jaw as he ground his teeth. "Are you gonna go away now?" He asked Buffy gruffly. He was holding onto his composure by his fingertips and slipping fast.

The Slayer shook her head slowly. "Sorry, Mom would have my head if I let you do that."

Spike vamped and hissed at her. "Go away."

A tear slid down her face. "No."

He let his demon slide away. "Please." He inhaled sharply and squeezed his eyes closed.

"I can't." She whispered, pain lancing through her petite body. "She's gone, Spike."

"Shut up." He ordered, refusing to look at her.

"She's gone, Spike." Buffy's breath hitched on a sob. "Mom's gone. You dusting won't bring her back."

He flinched. "Shut up! Don't you get it? I can't… face… can't… without… her." His unneeded breath caught. 'It's a dream, a nightmare. Wake up, Spike!' He thought desperately.

"We're here. We'll lean on each other. You're not alone." Buffy sniffled as another tear rolled down her face.

A low moan broke from Spike's throat. "She can't be gone." The denial was wrenched from his chest. He opened his eyes and looked at Buffy. The tear soaked sorrow in her green depths convinced him. It wasn't a nightmare. It was real. Joyce was gone. "She's… gone." He gasped as the first tear trailed down his paler than normal cheek.

Giles slowly approached the vampire and the Slayer sitting on the floor. He removed his glasses – they weren't much help anyway what with the room being all blurry – and crouched next to Spike. "I'm sorry." He murmured.

Spike shook his head. "Just leave me alone. Sun will be up soon." His voice was low and unyielding; neither human had ever heard such a deep level of resolve in him before. There was no sobbing, no hitching breath, just mourning too deep for noise. Silent tears scalded their way down his lean face and dripped off his clenched jaw as he stared stoically past Buffy.

The Slayer wiped the tears from her own face. "Spike. You can't dust. We need you. I can't fight Glory alone. I can't lose Dawnie too. If anything happens to her…"

Spike shuddered. "No. Suppose not." He ignored the dampness on his own face and looked at Buffy. Spike paused and let the silence hang between the three, as he wrestled with his decision. The blond vampire could feel the Slayer's and Watcher's worry and anticipation. Turning his head toward the dresser he spotted a photo of Joyce, Dawn, and Buffy. He gazed at it for several endless seconds. Joyce loved them so much and protected them with all she had. Spike knew he loved them too, for her and himself. Now it was his turn to protect them. He finally sighed, dropped his head back against the hope chest and closed his eyes in defeat. "I'll protect the Bit. Love her too, you know. Close the curtains, Watcher."

TBC