A/N: I'm not a big fan of using 'Milly' as a nickname. I don't know why, I just don't like using it in my writing.

Due to a major case of writer's block, I decided to split this into two extremely short chapters so I could post this one. I will probably take quite a while to get the second half out, but it will get done. (Eventually)

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam SEED or November by Silverstein.

Due to the FF. net ToS, the lyrics in this chapter have been removed. You may view this chapter with the lyrics on my mediaminer account (under the same pen name) Once I get this posted there (which may take quite a while)

Dearka wandered out of the kitchen towards Miriallia's room. He had a 'sixth sense' as he liked to call it, that allowed him to track down a female at any given time if he truly wanted to, and it told him that she was in her room.

She was so confused. She still felt deeply attached to Tolle, but something inside of her was pulling her towards Dearka. She didn't know what to do, how to feel, or how to act. Everything was just so complicated. She felt like her heart was being torn in half, and no matter what she chose she would lose the half of her heart she didn't go with. Sighing, Miriallia curled up on her bed, and cocooned herself inside of her blankets. Squeezing her eyes shut, she mentally begged the world to open up and swallow her whole.

He stood outside of the door. Her door. Unsure of whether to knock or just go in, he was frozen outside of it, trying to figure it out. Deciding that if he knocked he could be ordered away, he ventured in slowly. His eyes darted around the room before landing on a bump in the blankets.

"Mir-Miriallia?" He asked, wanting to use the nickname he had heard her friends use so many times before, but deciding against it, worried it may make her even more uncomfortable.

Miriallia's eyes flew open at the sound of his voice. Him. He was the one who had made this so difficult for her. If it weren't for him, she wouldn't even be in this situation right now. 'You wouldn't be in this situation because you would be dead.' That damn voice reminded her. It hadn't come up for a while now, but suddenly, there it was, right in the front of her mind. "What do you want?" She asked him; sure her voice must have been muffled by the blankets wrapped around her head, and the pillow her face was buried in.

"Can we talk?" He asked almost sounding- No. It couldn't be. He sounded almost, scared. Since when was Dearka Elthman afraid of her?

"What's there to talk about?" She asked him curtly.

"Well, there's me. You know there is a lot about me to talk about. Did you know that I was the best at almost everything when I was in elementary school? I couldn't be beaten by anybody. I was known as 'Dearka, Champion of All'. But of coarse, you've probably heard all about tha-" Miriallia rolled her eyes. He wasn't helping the situation at all.

"Leave your ego outside and we'll see." She told him.

Dearka stared. How dare she? She honestly wanted him to separate from his ego? His precious ego? He worried his lip. Now was the moment of truth. Part with his ego for a short while, or part with Miriallia forever. She expected him to make a decision right then and there?

"I'm waiting." She told him in a singsong voice. Dearka sighed. He supposed she did mean more to him than his ego. He sent a mental apology to his ego, and then ushered it into the back of his head.

"Okay. Ego's gone. Now can we talk?"

Miriallia had been worried when it had taken him so long to decide on his next move. Did he honestly care about his ego that much? After he had told her he had gotten rid of it, she carefully poked the top half of her head out from her haven of blankets.

Dearka froze when she stuck her head out from the blankets. Her eyes looked so… He couldn't put words to her expression. She looked, what was the word? Lost? Dejected? Crestfallen? Depressed? No. None of those words did it justice. But not only did she look extremely depressed, she also looked confused. What was there to be confused about? There was him, and there was her. He was pretty fond of her, and judging to her initial reaction to the kiss they had shared earlier that morning, she felt the same way about him. What else was there to the equation?

"What's this about? You're avoiding me like I'm the plague or something. Everyone else can sense it as well." When he didn't get a reply he sighed. He was about to something insane, audacious, daring. Something very few men had ever consciously decided to do. "Is there something you want to talk about?" As soon as the last word left his mouth, he started a mantra in his head. 'Please say no, please say no, please say no, please say no.' over and over in his head.

"I don't know." She muttered.

"Huh?" He asked, moving closer to her.

"I don't know anything. I don't know how to feel. I mean, I part of me really misses him," Him. Tolle. The reason she'd come at him with a scalpel if he recalled correctly, "but another part wants me to move on. And, I really want to, but there's always that voice in the back of my head telling me that somehow he'll come back to me, a-and I don't want have to decide between the two of you. Ever. I really care a-about both of you, but I f-feel as if no matter what s-somebody will get hurt, and I-I really don't want that to h-happen." She sniffled. Dearka could hear her trying to hold back the tears. She was worried that either him or her dead boyfriend would get hurt no matter what happened? He bit his lip, harder this time. "Y-you probably think I-I'm some kind of freak th-thinking that he could come back, b-but I really want h-him to. I-I mean, I w-want to be w-with you t-too I m-mean," She paused. She was really crying now. Sobbing now, and it was getting hard to hear the words between the sniffles and sobs, but he could. "I m-mean, I-I mea- I don't know what I mean." By this time, Dearka was sitting next to her on the bed, rubbing her back gently. His mother had always been rather emotional, and he wasn't at all new to comforting crying girls.

Miriallia was getting even more confused by the second. Here she was crying to a guy who probably liked her as much as she liked him about her hopes of her dead boyfriend coming back from the dead, and he was trying to comfort her. She had no idea what to do in a situation like this, but she did no that she was seeking comfort, and there was somebody willing to comfort her sitting right next to her, so she did what felt natural. She wriggled her head into his lap; seeking more of the comfort he'd offered her, and looked into his eyes.

Those eyes again. They were so full of emotion. So full of loss, hate, sorrow, need, pain, confusion, and so many other things. It felt as if she wanted him to say something. What was there to say? Dearka searched madly through his head for something to say. "We, we can take it slowly, if that's what you want." He whispered to her in a soft voice. The next look she gave him was totally different from the other's he'd been given lately. This one was filled with hope and gratitude.

"I-I'd like that." She whispered to him. If she had been any other girl, Dearka would probably have been screaming at himself at that moment. If it had been any other girl, he would have been mentally torturing himself for agreeing to 'take things slow'. But not with Miriallia. It felt like the right thing to do. He felt that as long as she was happy, he could be happy.

'We can take it slowly' were the last words Miriallia had expected to hear come from his mouth, but they had. She smiled slowly and sighed as he ran his hand through her hair. Everything felt so right, like this was how it was supposed to be. It was if the two of them were the only people in the world, like time had stopped for them.

Dearka wasn't sure what he'd expected to happen after he'd promised her they could go slowly, but it sure wasn't having her cuddle up to him. Sighing, the blonde twisted himself around and reclined against the headboard of the bed, maneuvering Miriallia so she was leaning against his chest as he went. He couldn't help but smirk as she tried to dig her head deeper into his chest. He really was amazing. Just moments before it seemed like she had been doing everything in her power to avoid him, and now she was acting like she couldn't get close enough to him. Glancing down at her he noticed she looked like she was about to fall asleep, and as strange as it was being that she had only woken up a couple of hours before, he smiled. "If you go to sleep, promise you won't scream?" Dearka teased. Her reply was a muffled 'Mhmmm'.

Dearka hadn't been the only one to notice Miriallia's disappearance. Kira had noticed it as well and was waiting for a chance to leave the kitchen without seeming too suspicious. He wouldn't have been as anxious if Dearka hadn't disappeared on her tail. He didn't know why, but he really didn't trust that guy. It felt to Kira like Dearka was taking advantage of Miriallia while she was down, and if that was the case, Dearka would be in for it. When there was a break in the conversation the former soldiers were having, Kira excused himself and headed towards Miriallia's room.