Notes: I spent all day yesterday sleeping, and today was the craziest day at my job in recent memory, but somehow I managed to get this to a somewhat presentable state anyway!

Hope you all enjoy!

Waiting for Rainbows
Chapter 13: Even if we never attain this pipe dream

"Nanami?!"

Hinata stood up from his seat, and it was clear from his shocked expression that he hadn't expected to see the girl either.

Kuzuryu watched cautiously as Hinata stepped around the desk towards her. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in Nagoya?"

The girl smiled, cocking her head to the side. "We got the tech demo done ahead of schedule, so the company gave us off for New Year's after all."

"Okay that's great, but you should be taking that opportunity to get some rest!" Hinata sighed, rubbing the back of his head. "Tell me you didn't fall asleep on the train, at least."

"I nodded off on the Yamanote and missed my stop a couple of times, but it only took three loops before I got it right, I think."

"If it got to that point you should have just gone straight home! Kibougaoka's in the opposite direction!"

The girl frowned then, her cheeks puffing out slightly in irritation. "What's the big deal? I came to say hi. I haven't seen you in a while!"

"Yeah, but..." Hinata glanced back at Kuzuryu then, and Kuzuryu answered by arching an eyebrow in response.

The followed Hinata's gaze and, having apparently noticed Kuzuryu for the first time, offered a wave, the sleeve of her over-sized hoodie flopping with the motion. "Hello. I haven't met you before."

"Yeah, this is Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu," Hinata said, gesturing to him. "He's my, uh... friend. Kuzuryu, this is Chiaki Nanami. She works in Nagoya as a game tester... and she used to be my girlfriend," he added quickly, smiling sheepishly at Kuzuryu.

"Hinata-kun!" She sighed. "You don't need to mention that, do you? We broke up ages ago."

Hinata laughed nervously. "Well, yeah but, well..."

Kuzuryu suddenly realized: Hinata had made special mention of that for his sake. He wanted to make sure there was full disclosure about the situation to his current boyfriend.

Kuzuryu couldn't help but grin from the swell of warm feelings in his chest, and he stood up to greet Nanami properly. "Hey, I'm Kuzuryu," he said, holding a hand out to shake. "Nice to meet you."

Nanami offered him a sleepy smile and accepted the handshake. "Nice to meet you, Kuzuryu-kun. You're a friend of Hinata-kun's, then."

"Uh, well..." Kuzuryu faltered a bit as he let go of her hand, but quickly recovered himself. "He's kind of a dumbass, but I guess so."

"Was that really necessary?" Hinata groused, looking down at Kuzuryu exasperatedly. He then turned to Nanami. "Anyway, so with that out of the way what are you really here for, Nanami? If you're home for New Year's, you should go be spending it with your dad."

"I will," Nanami said airily. "But Hinata-kun, your birthday is coming up too. If you aren't busy, I thought you could come to my house to celebrate like we used to."

Kuzuryu bristled, a jolt of jealousy spiking through his body. What was this woman doing?!

"Uh..." Hinata held up his hands defensively and gave an apologetic smile. "Sorry, Nanami, but I have plans..."

"Oh right, you have a new girlfriend now." Nanami smiled up at him, apparently completely unbothered by being turned down. "I'd like to meet her if I get the chance. You've barely told me anything since you asked me for advice about confessing."

"What the hell?!" Kuzuryu stared at Nanami, then glared up at Hinata. "You went to your ex-girlfriend about that?!"

Hinata laughed nervously. "I mean... she is my ex, but we're still best friends, so..."

"Still, she's your ex!" Kuzuryu placed a hand on his forehead, sighing. "Surely there were other people you could have talked to about it?"

"Actually... there weren't, really..."

Nanami watched the two of them thoughtfully, and finally she clapped her hands together, the soft sound of fabric upon fabric surprising them into silence. "I see," Nanami said, a light triumphant smile on her face as she looked directly at Kuzuryu. "So he's your new girlfriend."

"Who the fuck are you saying is a girlfriend?!"

"Nanami, Nanami!" Hinata quickly cut in, stepping in front of Kuzuryu before he could advance on the woman. "The word is 'boyfriend'!"

"Oh, right," Nanami said easily, looking completely unperturbed. "But neither of you denied it. I take that to mean I'm correct?"

Hinata opened his mouth as if he were to say something, but he was silent, and turned to Kuzuryu helplessly. Kuzuryu groaned; well, that was out of the bag.

"I see." Nanami looked between the two men in turn. "That's right, you swing both ways, don't you, Hinata-kun?"

Hinata placed a hand on his forehead and leaned against the desk, looking almost as if he were about to lose his balance. "You forgot about that?"

"I didn't forget," Nanami said, cocking her head to the side. "It's just not something I really think about. Hinata-kun is Hinata-kun, and that's all that matters, isn't it?"

"I think it's a little reckless to say that's all that matters..."

Kuzuryu sat back down and picked up his cup of cocoa, watching the two of them as he sipped the drink idly. He was still a little wary of the sudden appearance of Hinata's ex-girlfriend, but he wasn't going to get in between them if all they were going to do was some catching up.

"Anyway, this is good timing, I think." Nanami stepped around Hinata and pulled up a chair next to Kuzuryu, sitting herself down in it. "I've been wanting to talk to the person Hinata-kun is going out with now. You said you're Kuzuryu-kun, right?"

"Uh, yeah." Kuzuryu looked up at Hinata behind her, who just shook his head in exasperation and went back to his desk. "What do you want to know?"

"Hmm..." She considered him for a moment, and he tried not to squirm under her gaze. Finally, she turned to face Hinata again. "Comparative or superlative?"

Hinata's pen paused in the middle of writing something. "...Nanami," was all he said.

"Is it that difficult to answer?"

Kuzuryu wasn't sure what they were talking about, but he watched in interest as Hinata's face reddened and he looked away. "Comparative," he muttered finally.

"Not superlative?" Nanami looked a little worried, and Kuzuryu found himself really wishing he knew what they were talking about.

Hinata took a moment to think before offering, "Comparatively superlative?"

"Hmm..." She looked back to Kuzuryu again, regarding him thoughtfully. "I guess that makes sense."

"That's great for you," Kuzuryu said dryly, "but it doesn't make sense to me."

"It's nothing to worry about," Hinata insisted, turning again to his work.

"Really..."

"No, Hinata-kun's right, that's a good sign." Nanami smiled gently at Kuzuryu. "If that's the case, I'm really glad he met you! How did the two of you meet, anyway?"

Kuzuryu averted his gaze awkwardly. "At the izakaya."

"I see. And what do you do for work, Kuzuryu-kun?"

"Uh..." Kuzuryu stared down at his hot chocolate. "My dad... owns a business. I'll be taking it over someday."

"You seem a little uncomfortable," she observed, cocking her head as she looked him over. "Is something the matter?"

Kuzuryu leaned against the desk, if only to be marginally closer to Hinata, and huffed, resting his chin in his hand. "I mean, my boyfriend's ex is here all but interrogating me, how the fuck do you think I feel?"

Nanami hummed thoughtfully in response. "I don't mean to make you nervous. I just want to know the person Hinata-kun has fallen for. And you don't have to worry about me, I'm really just a friend." She gestured between Hinata and herself. "We were in the same class in middle and high school, so we've gotten along for a while, and we sort of look out for each other too. I guess it's because we were both brought up with single parents, so—"

"Nanami."

Kuzuryu blinked and turned to Hinata, noting with some interest that he was gripping his pen tightly, his face losing some of its color.

What...?

"...Oh." Nanami looked at Hinata, then back at Kuzuryu, covering her mouth with a hand. "Hinata-kun, you haven't talked with him about that? That's not good..."

"Talked about what?" Kuzuryu demanded, running their conversation back through his head. "What's not good?"

Single parents? That wasn't such a big deal, was it? But now that he was thinking about it...

Hinata hadn't told him anything about his family.

Kuzuryu stood up from his chair, facing Hinata directly. "What is she talking about, Hinata?"

Hinata turned his gaze away. "Now really isn't the time," he whispered.

"The time for what, Hinata?!"

"Kuzuryu-kun," Nanami said, standing up and placing a hand on his elbow. He immediately shook her off. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything—"

"No shit you shouldn't have said anything!" Kuzuryu yelled, turning on her. "But that's not the issue here, is it? Huh? The real problem is what he's been keeping from me!"

"Kuzuryu, stop." Hinata stood up and placed a hand on Kuzuryu's shoulder. "Could you just calm down?"

"Maybe if I knew what was going on with you I would!"

Hinata looked like the world was falling apart around him, and Kuzuryu felt the strong urge to wrap his arms around the man and assure him that it was all okay, but the stronger emotion that won out was his anger—anger at Hinata for keeping things from him, anger at Nanami for revealing the gaping flaw in their relationship.

And he was especially angry at himself for not even thinking to open the conversation on his own.

He heard the door to the koban click open, and he just barely registered Kirigiri stepping into the office, stopping on a dime as soon as she saw the scene inside. Her cool gaze flitted from Hinata, to Nanami, and then to Kuzuryu, and she drew her mouth into a hard line. "...I'm sorry. I'm interrupting something, aren't I?"

There was a rushing in Kuzuryu's ears as he realized: yes, Kirigiri definitely knew he and Hinata were going out, and she knew what effect Nanami's presence could have on them. He gripped his cup tightly, hearing the paper begin to crumple under the force, and he pushed himself away from the situation, past Kirigiri and her calculating gaze to head for the door. "I'm getting the fuck out of here," he bit out.

"Wait, Kuzuryu—!" He heard Hinata follow him outside, apologizing as he left Nanami and Kirigiri in the koban. "Kuzuryu, will you stop for a moment?!"

"And what if I do?!" Kuzuryu turned on his heel to face Hinata directly. "Do you intend to tell me whatever it was that Nanami bitch was talking about?!"

Hinata's face hardened. "Don't talk about her that way."

"That's not a fucking answer, Hinata!" Kuzuryu took the few steps forward to close the distance between them and jabbed his finger into Hinata's chest. "You just have no intention to talk at all, do you? You never have."

Hinata took a deep breath. "Look, I will, it's just hard to talk about, so..."

"Oh bullshit." Kuzuryu shoved Hinata roughly, then took a step back. "You haven't told me anything about yourself from before I met you!"

Regaining his balance, Hinata glared at Kuzuryu, clearly sharing the anger between them. "Well then how about you?! You haven't told me, anything, either! I have no idea what happened in your past!"

Kuzuryu was taken aback momentarily, but his expression hardened into stone as he registered Hinata's words. "You're talking about Natsumi, aren't you."

"I don't know!" Hinata yelled. "Is that your sister's name? Natsumi? Because you've never even told me that!"

Honestly, Kuzuryu couldn't really remember if he had ever mentioned his sister's name, so maybe Hinata was right about that... but he wasn't going to back down when he was trying to prove a point. "You have no idea what you're treading on, Hinata."

"No shit I don't! Because you won't tell me!"

There was desperation in Hinata's voice, and it tore at Kuzuryu's heart, but he couldn't give in. Even if he wanted to tell Hinata everything, it wasn't the time nor the place. Not out in the open, in broad daylight.

They stood in silence for a moment, the cold air piercing their lungs as they breathed heavily, until finally Hinata sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "Look, I... You're right, I really should have told you, but it's... difficult to talk about," he said. His hair stuck up awkwardly, but Kuzuryu made no move to smooth it back into place this time. "But just... it's not right for you to be angry about that when there are things you don't want to talk about either, you know?"

Kuzuryu stared up at him, resolutely keeping his expression steady. "Who knows?" he asked finally.

"What?"

"Who knows about it? Who have you told? Nanami obviously knows about whatever you're not telling me."

"Well, yeah..." Hinata looked to the side, staring at some point on the ground next to his shoes. "I mean, she's been there for me for years. Of course she knows."

Kuzuryu frowned. "And Kirigiri?"

Hinata's brows screwed up in thought, but he answered after another moment. "I haven't told her the details, but she probably figured most of it out for herself, in all honesty."

That made enough sense, but... Kuzuryu balled his hands into fists at his side, feeling a sudden rush of ugly, dark miasma curling in his stomach as a name rose to his lips. "And Hanamura?"

Hinata looked genuinely surprised to hear the question. "What?"

"You heard me," Kuzuryu breathed. "Hanamura. Does he know?"

Kuzuryu watched Hinata's expression carefully, his fingernails gouging angry crescent-shaped marks into his palm when he saw Hinata's face drain of color.

"So he does know."

"No, wait—" Hinata gaped at him, mouth flapping uselessly for a moment as he tried to speak. "Kuzuryu, are you jealous of Hanamura?"

"I'm not jealous," he spat, even as he knew that it was a lie. "But you did tell him."

"I— yeah." Hinata looked completely helpless as he admitted it.

"How much of it?"

Hinata made a pained expression, and took a deep breath before he answered. "I told him everything."

"Everything."

"He knows just about as much as Nanami does," Hinata admitted with a long-suffering sigh. "But Kuzuryu, it's not—"

"What the fuck, Hinata?!" Kuzuryu cut him off before he could try to explain. He wasn't in the fucking mood for hearing excuses. "It's one thing for Nanami to know, but you'll tell Hanamura when you won't even tell me?!"

"Kuzuryu, calm down." Hinata grabbed his wrist, gazing into Kuzuryu's eyes with a serious expression. "Look, I can't tell you precisely why that is, but it's not—"

"The fuck you can't!" Kuzuryu shook off his hand, taking a step back. "What am I to you then, huh? Because apparently you trust Teruteru fucking Hanamura more than you trust me!"

Hinata's expression hardened. "So you have no intention of hearing what I have to say."

"Not when all you have are shitty excuses!"

Hinata sighed, then looked to the side. "Fine. Then just... go home, Kuzuryu." He shoved his hands in his pockets and took a few steps back toward the koban. "I think we both need to take some time to cool down. So, just... I'll see you later. Bye."

Kuzuryu watched, fuming, as Hinata retreated into the station. Upon hearing the click of the door being shut, Kuzuryu turned and kicked the bicycle rack with an irritated growl. It made a satisfying clanging sound as it was jostled, but beyond that all it really got him was a pounding soreness in his foot.

As he skulked away, he glanced around, hoping that Peko hadn't been witness to all that went down.

He didn't feel ready to admit that she was right.

-If you want to cancel the trip I completely understand, but I want you to know that that's not what I'm hoping for. I'd still like to spend the weekend with you if you're okay with that.

That was the text Hinata had sent a few hours after their argument, but aside from that Kuzuryu didn't hear from him at all that day, going into the next. Not that Kuzuryu made much of an effort to reach out to him, either. If anything, Hinata's text had made him even less inclined to talk to the cop; its tone was too passive, too cowardly, yet carefully dancing around the concept of offering an apology.

He had sent back a curt message stating that he hadn't canceled the reservations yet, then shoved the matter to the back of his mind and busied himself with running errands in Hachioji for his dad. He was still in a horrible mood, of course, but at least it gave him something else to think about.

Dropping into his favorite cafe for some hot chocolate, he had thought, would be an opportunity for him to wind down and relax.

He did not expect the voice that called out to him as he walked away from the register with his drink.

"Oh, there you are. Kuzuryu-kun!"

Kuzuryu stopped in his tracks and turned in the direction of the voice, and was none too happy to see Nanami in the corner of the cafe, waving him down. He had half a mind to keep moving and make his retreat as she packed her laptop into her backpack, but for some reason he stayed rooted to his spot. He made sure to glower as darkly as he could as she approached, though.

"I was hoping I'd run into you here," she said when she caught up to him, apparently completely unaffected by his glare.

"Uh-huh." He took a sip of his cocoa, eyeing her carefully. "And how did you know where to find me?"

"Hinata-kun said that you liked this coffee shop." She tipped her head to the side, offering a cautious smile. "It really is a nice place! I was able to get a lot of work done on this project while I waited."

Kuzuryu huffed, moving to leave the cafe. He really should have gone somewhere else.

Nanami didn't take the hint, or chose not to take the hint, because she followed after him into the cold air outside. "So, I wanted to talk to you..."

"Too bad, because the feeling isn't mutual."

"Please, could you at least hear me out?" She fell into step beside him. "I'm sorry for throwing a wrench into your relationship with him, that's certainly not what I meant to do. Hinata-kun is really torn up about this and I hate to see him this way."

"Well maybe he should have thought about that before keeping shit from me," Kuzuryu spat back.

"Please try not to be too angry at Hinata-kun about this," Nanami said as she continued to follow after him. "It's not something that's easy for him to talk about in general, and on top of that, well..." She trailed off in thought, and Kuzuryu watched her warily from the corner of his eye. She was silent for long enough that he was beginning to think she wouldn't continue at all, but finally she looked back at him and spoke again. "Hinata-kun is still grappling with the idea of having someone so close to him, someone he cares about so much that he knows that he has to tell them everything. That's what I think, at least."

Kuzuryu scoffed and looked away, knowing that his cheeks were turning a bit pink despite his best efforts. "That's pretty fuckin' rich coming from his ex-girlfriend."

"Hold on, Kuzuryu-kun." Nanami stepped in front of him and held up a hand, effectively stopping Kuzuryu in his tracks. He glowered at her, but she seemed unaffected. "I think you're misunderstanding something."

"And what is there to misunderstand here?" He gripped his cup of cocoa tightly and had to suppress the urge to throw it at something. Maybe Nanami. But no, that wouldn't help matters, and besides, if he were to rank the people he was currently angry at, she only came in at third place. "Don't you try telling me that you and Hinata never went out, because he told me you did."

Nanami tilted her head to the side, her hair bobbing against her cheek with the motion. "No, it's true that I was Hinata-kun's first relationship. But Kuzuryu-kun..." She met his gaze directly, eyes serious. "You're his first love. I think."

"His firs—" The weight of the words hit Kuzuryu before he could finish repeating them, and all at once his face felt as if it had burst into flames, all the way up to the tips of his ears. "Wh— but that's—" He shook his head furiously, both in disbelief and in a vain attempt to will the blush away. "What the hell does that say about you, then?!"

Nanami blinked. "Me? Well..." She tilted her head in thought again. "...it was high school infatuation, maybe? It was that age when kids start to think it's weird to be just friends with the opposite sex, so they convince themselves it's supposed to be something more. But it wasn't. Not for us." Nanami studied Kuzuryu's expression carefully. "So, no. Hinata-kun's first love wasn't me. It's you."

Kuzuryu's grip tightened further around the cocoa, and he fumbled briefly when the lid popped off the cup. Was that actually true? The whole misguided teenager thing... made sense, really. Kuzuryu, at that age, had thought he'd end up marrying Peko, though he hadn't done anything to act on it. So Hinata's current relationship with him...

A hand rested upon his arm. "Kuzuryu-kun..."

"Don't touch me!" he snapped, jerking his arm away. His emotions were a confused, frantic blur, every nerve ending on fire, and it seemed as if everything inside him would come spilling out for the world to see if Nanami so much as touched him, even through the thick winter coat.

Nanami seemed unperturbed by his outburst and calmly took a step back. After a moment of contemplation, she spoke again. "Kuzuryu-kun, why is Hinata-kun spending his birthday with you?"

Kuzuryu furrowed his brows. "Why the hell shouldn't he?" he spat. "Are you trying to fucking challenge me?!"

"No. But it's an important point for you to consider." Nanami held up two fingers. "There are two answers to the question. Both are significant, and both are something you want to hear. From Hinata-kun, not from me," she quickly amended, shutting Kuzuryu up before he could demand it of her. "Can you figure out either of them?"

No, he couldn't. Between his bewilderment over everything Nanami had said and his general frustration over his fight with Hinata, he couldn't even begin to piece together the puzzle. "Do you make a habit of talking in riddles like this?" he said instead.

"Hmm..." Nanami made a show of giving the question serious thought. "I don't know. I suppose I do. Do you think it's a riddle that's beyond your capabilities to figure out, though?"

Kuzuryu ground his teeth in irritation. "If that's all you have to say, then I'm leaving." He started walking away, but raised a casual hand in a wave. "Don't follow me, either, if you know what's good for you. Hinata would tell you the same if you asked him."

She didn't immediately respond, so Kuzuryu assumed that that was the end of it, but then she called out to him one last time. "Oh, wait a moment!"

He didn't want to wait, but he found himself stopping and turning back towards her anyway. "What is it now?"

She trotted up to him and stopped at his side, offering a genuine smile. "Before you go, I just have one more thing to ask of you..."

Notes: Before anyone asks, no, Nanami's dad in this AU is not Chihiro. He's just a random nameless OC haha.