"It's the start of the eighteenth hole, and Lori Loud stands at five under par. If she can sink this shot, she'll literally win the Masters."

Heh, old habits die hard, I guess. Here I am at Fairway University, a promising up-and-coming professional golfer, and I'm still fantasizing about my future and pretending to be the commentary. I dunno, it's just how I always get myself in the zone when I practice. Speaking of which, this next shot's gonna be tricky. If I hit it just right, the ball should skip across the water hazard and land me a hole in one. I know it's possible; I've seen it done. I just gotta figure out how to do it.

Okay, let's see. Wind's good, got my 3-Wood out, and I think I'm at the right angle. Knees bent, arms straight, head down, and…

"Hey, Lori!"

Gah~! What the hell?! Sheesh, I thought being away from my crazy siblings meant I didn't have to deal with this kinda thing anymore! I quickly spun around to see my roommate Marisa wincing.

"Oof. Sorry. Didn't know you were in the middle of a shot," she said sheepishly. "But hey, that's not a bad drive."

I turned back to see that my ball was still sailing through the air. However, the trajectory was all off. It ended up landing a few yards to the left of my intended target. I sighed.

"I was actually trying to do the Skipping Stone technique we learned about in Clubhouse Calculus, but it's fine," I said. "What's up, Marisa?"

Marisa's face lit right up. It honestly reminded me of the look Leni would give me whenever she had some juicy gossip to share.

"Okay, so, nothing's official yet, but I've been hearing rumors about something special being planned for this weekend," she said. "Supposedly, Raj has been negotiating with Coach Niblick for the better part of the month, and if my sources are anything to go by, we should get final confirmation by the end of the day."

I had to raise an eyebrow. "Where exactly did you hear this from?"

"I overheard some of the upper classmates talking about it during lunch," said Marisa. "Apparently, Raj is graduating this year, and to celebrate, he wanted to organize something special. Something that'll really cement his legacy at Fairway, y'know?"

I shrugged as I made my way over to my ball. "Well, good for Raj, I guess. I don't know why you're so excited about it."

Marisa let out a small scoff as she followed me. "Okay, I know this is just your first year with us, but trust me on this, Lori. When a soon-to-be graduate wants to leave their mark on Fairway University, it's a big deal for the whole school."

"And how exactly would you know that? This is your first year here, too."

"As Coach Niblick always says: 'When you first step onto the course, it's best to study the terrain.'"

OMG, is she still trying to get her money's worth on that stupid Quote-a-Day calendar? I swear, for a student at a golfing college, she can go a little too overboard with the golf. I know that's kind of the point of this school, but even I think about stuff other than golf once in a while.

"In English, please," I growled as I lined up my shot.

"Ah, right. Sorry," Marisa said, clearing her throat. "Point is I know to keep my ear to the ground and stay informed."

"So, a lot of graduating golfers make a big deal over leaving their mark on the school, then?" I said absently.

"Well, of course. I mean, look at Shanks Bogey."

I deadpanned. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think Shanks exactly went out of his way to become a Fairway legend. He was just a regular caddy who was really good at what he did."

"What he does, you mean," Marisa corrected.

I sighed. "Right, what he does. Sorry, I'm still getting used to the whole ghost thing. The point is just because he became famous doesn't exactly mean Raj is trying to do the same. In fact, Raj doesn't really strike me as the type to make a big deal over this, either."

I concluded my thought with a swing of my 7-Iron. Hmm, looks like that'll clear the trees, but it's not gonna get me on the green. Dang it.

"Hmm, I guess," Marisa mused. "Still, from all of the upper classmates I've talked to, Raj has been known as the best school ambassador Fairway's had in a while."

"Well, that I can believe," I said with a smirk. "Raj does have a knack for making us newbies feel welcome. He even helps out with Fairway's official blog. Seriously, if it wasn't for him, that stuff would literally put me to sleep."

"No kidding," said Marisa. "As Coach Niblick would say: 'To convince a miniature golfer to go pro, you have to talk in their language.'"

Heh, it's kinda rare that one of those quotes can be applied to something other than golf. Y'know, without forcing it like Marisa always does. I shudder to think what'll happen when she has to get a new calendar.

"Well, that's interesting and all, Marisa, but I'm not gonna waste my time gushing over whatever Raj is up to," I said, lining up my next shot. "I've got my own stuff to think about, and I really doubt this is gonna be the school-wide thing you think it…"

My train of thought was interrupted by my phone vibrating in my pocket. Huh, that's odd. It's a bit too early for my chat session with Bobby. Oh God, is it another emergency from one of my siblings? It better not be. Last time, I had to go all the way to Royal Woods Middle School just to apologize to the cafeteria chef for something that wasn't even my fault. Yes, really. Ugh, let's just get this over with.

Wait, hang on. This isn't from my siblings. This is a news update to the Fairway blog. And it's from Raj. Was Marisa actually onto something this whole time? I quickly clicked on the link.

"'To everyone at Fairway University: I am pleased to announce that Coach Niblick has granted me permission to host the first ever student-led… Golfluencer Tournament?'" I looked up at Marisa, who was checking her own phone. "What the heck is a Golfluencer Tournament?"

"Hell if I know," said Marisa, equally bewildered. "But it looks like this is not gonna be limited to Fairway U. Look, he even posted this on his social media!"

"I see you girls just got the news."

We looked up to see Ewan striding up to us, a warm grin on his face. I could see Marisa's eyes turn into hearts as he approached. Ugh, literally, girl? I get that he's the star player at Fairway that everyone loves, but you know he has a fiancé, right? Sheesh, and I thought Clyde simping over me was pathetic (no offense, Clyde).

"Yeah, apparently," I said, looking over my phone. "Is this what Raj has been working on with Niblick over the past month?"

"Pretty much," said Ewan. "It took a bit of convincing, but he managed to wear him down. He's trying to make golf a bit more accessible; something that's not just for snobby elites."

"Okay, but how does this tournament accomplish that?" I asked.

Ewan smirked. "He's reaching out to social media influencers to be the caddies."

…

Oh, wow. That is wild. Looks like Marisa really was onto something with those rumors.

"Are you serious?! That's so exciting!" Marisa chirped. "But, can Fairway actually afford something like that? I don't think these influencers are gonna do this for free."

"Yeah, that's kinda why Raj had to wear Niblick down before getting approval," said Ewan. "But thanks to the prize money from our more recent victories, there should be enough in our budget to get whoever wants in." He then turned to me. "Actually, I got a message for you from the man himself, Lori."

"From Raj? What is it?" I asked.

Ewan's smile grew wider. "You're gonna love this. Raj wants you to represent Fairway in the tourney."

…

"HONK~!"

Ugh, that's embarrassing. Again, old habits die hard. Still, wow. Th-that's literally such an honor!

"A-are you sure about this, Ewan?" I asked. "Wh-why not you? You're literally the best golfer here."

Ewan chuckled. "You are far too modest for your own good, Lori. Besides, I promised my fiancé I'd be visiting her and her folks this weekend."

"Ah. Yeah, that makes sense," I said. I then nodded and smiled. "Alright, I'm in."

"Wait a minute, Lori," said Marisa. "You don't know any social media influencers, do you? Who's gonna be your caddy?"

Oh, jeez, that's right. "Ewan, how's this gonna work? Do I have to get my own caddy, or…?"

"Well, Raj's intention is for golfers and influencers to work together and form their own teams," said Ewan. "I'm sure a lot of these influencers know at least someone who plays golf, but if you happen to know someone with at least ten thousand followers on social media, there's nothing in the rules saying that you can't reach out. If anything, Raj encourages it."

Ten thousand followers? That's, uh… that's a lot. Hmm, who do I know that has ten thousand followers on social media? Luna? Nah, I'm pretty sure she's got a date with Sam this weekend. Lola? Eh, I don't think she'd be willing to caddy. Not really part of her brand. Luan? Oh, God no. Not unless I want to annoy everyone to death with golf puns. Maybe I should try outside my family? But who do I know outside my family that's a social media…

Oh, hang on. I'm getting another text. It's from Bobby.

"Hey, babe. I might be a little late for our chat session today. Carlota's doing a tutorial on guy liner, and I'm the unfortunate sap who has to be the model. I still think Carl cheated when we drew straws."

I just had to chuckle at that. Oh, Boo-Boo Bear. Always getting into wacky hijinks with your family. Heh, welcome to my world.

…

Wait a second. I think I literally just found my caddy. Let me just check her blog… OMG, ten thousand followers! How'd she even get that many?! Whatever, doesn't matter! This could work!

"As a matter of fact, I think I have someone in mind," I said.

"Awesome," Ewan said with a wink. "Well, I'm gonna help prepare the celebration party for Raj back at the dorm. I'll let him know you're interested, Lori. I know you're gonna do Fairway proud. Seeya on the green."

"Yeah, seeya," I said, furiously texting on my phone.

"Uh, Lori? Do you… actually know a big social media influencer?" asked Marisa.

"We're acquainted," I said. "She's actually my boyfriend's cousin."

Marisa's eyes went wide. "For real? Whoa, small world. And you're sure she'll agree to caddy for you?"

I smirked as I sent Bobby my text. "Let's just say I have a pretty good feeling about this."

"Hmm. Not gonna lie, Bobby: I kinda have mixed feelings about this."

Bobby's elated smile turned into a concerned frown once I made my opinion known. Part of me still wonders if he dropped this on my just to get out of the guy liner tutorial, but I'd like to give Bobby a bit more credit than that. It's not like him to weasel out of a commitment.

"What do you mean mixed feelings?" he asked. "I thought you'd be all over this. This could be big for your influencer brand."

I sighed. "I mean, you're not wrong. A fun golf tournament with influencers as caddies? Normally, I'd be there in a heartbeat. There are a couple of snags, though."

"Which are?"

"Well, first of all, I don't know anything about golf. I don't even know where left field is."

Bobby gave me a look. "I don't think there's a left field in golf, Carlota."

"Exactly my point! I don't wanna botch this for your GF! That wouldn't be a good look for either of us!"

Bobby's lips curled into a small smirk. "Carlota, it's not a big deal. You're just gonna be carrying Lori's clubs around. No one's gonna expect you to play."

"Yeah, but that leads into my second problem," I said. "I'm a fashion vlogger. How'm I gonna carry a heavy bag of clubs and my wardrobe for Lori? That'd break my back!"

Bobby blinked. "Wait, why would you bring your wardrobe?"

I just had to facepalm right then and there. "Do I need to spell this out for you? If this tournament calls for influencers to be the caddies, obviously those caddies are going to be working in their individual brands. My brand is fashion, so I need to make sure I have enough fashion choices to make Lori Loud the hottest thing on that course."

Bobby scratched his head. "So, your plan here is to have Lori change outfits every hole or something?"

"I don't know; you just dropped this on me five minutes ago!" I snapped. I then let out another sigh. "Look, I'm not saying no here. Personally, I would love to get in on this hot new trend. I just gotta figure out the logistics, y'know?"

"Hmm. Okay, I think I see what you're getting at," Bobby mused, stroking his goatee in thought. His expression then brightened. "Ooh, I know! You're great with makeup, so why not focus on that? You can doll Lori up while I drive the two of you around in the golf cart."

I did a double take. "Whoa whoa whoa. Who said you were going?"

"Hey, I'm just spitballing here," Bobby said defensively. "You're the one who wanted to figure out the logistics or whatever."

The weird thing is I don't know if Bobby's genuinely trying to help, or if he just wants an excuse to see Lori. It could be both, for all I know. Ah well, it's not exactly a bad idea.

"I guess that could work. I mean, if Lori's cool with it," I said. "Still, caddies are expected to know some golf, aren't they?"

"I guess." Bobby checked his phone. "But it doesn't say anything about golfing knowledge being a requirement for the influencers. Maybe Lori can teach you. She's pretty much a golfing pro."

"All the more reason why I don't want to embarrass her by looking like I have no idea what I'm doing," I said with a sigh. "I'm pretty sure they're expecting influencers to be streaming this thing. All of my followers are gonna be watching me make a fool of myself."

"There's no need to be so pessimistic about it," said Bobby. "Look, would it make you feel better if I was there, too?"

He said that in the same tone he would use to talk to Carl or CJ. Sheesh, Bobby. I get the sentiment, but I'm only a year younger than you. S-stop making me feel like a little kid.

"Would that even be allowed?" I asked. "I mean, it says right in the rules that an influencer has to have ten thousand followers or more in order to qualify for this thing."

"Yeah, that would make it pretty difficult for me," Bobby mused. "Heck, I don't think I even know ten thousand people."

Ay chihuahua. What, does he honestly think I personally know every single person that follows me on social media? Actually, I don't think I want to know the answer to that. Bobby's mind just goes to random places sometimes, I swear.

"More to the point, even if you did have ten thousand followers, I don't think they're gonna let Lori have two caddies," I said.

Bobby checked his phone again, narrowing his eyes as he scrolled through the post. "Hmm. Well, there's nothing saying that golf cart chauffeurs aren't allowed. That's not the same thing as a caddy, I don't think. Maybe I'll double-check with Lori; see what she says."

"That's assuming I'm even gonna go to this thing," I said. "Again, not saying no, but I really need to figure some stuff out. We've got until the weekend, yeah?"

"It says here that sign ups close on Friday," said Bobby.

"Well, it's Monday now, so we've got time," I said with a shrug. "Let me sleep on it a bit. I promise, I'll give you an answer by…"

Just then, I got a notification on my phone. When I checked it, I could feel my blood start to boil. It was none other than my greatest influencer rival, Cindy Tran. If she's posting about this Golfluencer thing, I am gonna be so pissed. Well, only one way to find out. I tapped the notification.

"Hey, Trantaklers~! It's your girl Cindy with some exciting news!"

Ugh~. God, she's the worst. Just her smug tone alone makes me wanna clock her in the face.

"It turns out Fairway University is hosting a specialized student-run tournament specifically for influencers~!" Cindy trilled. "You all know your girl is gonna be there, streaming every moment for all my fans!"

How did I know this was gonna happen? Well, I feel sorry for the poor schmuck she's gonna be caddying for. I mean, there's no way she's gonna snag someone as talented as Lori.

"But of course, I'm not gonna be winning this alone!" Cindy continued. "I was going to save this for my next big stream, but what the heck? Trantaklers, I want you all to meet my new boyfriend~!"

Boyfriend? Seriously? Who would want to go out with you? Heh, now I really feel sorry for whoever decided to hook up with someone like…

Wait a minute. Those brown dreads; the goofy grin; that gaudy white suit. Is that…? No, it can't be. There's no way he's that desperate for my attention.

"How's it going, Trantaklers? The name's Diego, and I'm gonna be teaming up with my girl Cindy here to crush this Golfuencer Tournament!"

…

Oh, you have got to be kidding me. My freaking ex-boyfriend Diego is hooking up with Cindy Tran of all people? Yeah, I'm not buying it. He's just doing this to make me jealous. There's no other reason he'd go with a total skank like Cindy.

"That's right, TDH~!" Cindy chirped. She then turned to the camera. "That stands for Tall Dark and Handsome."

Yeah, I figured. You don't have to treat your followers like children, Cindy.

"Anyway, we're going to be the belles of this ball! Golf ball, that is!"

Diego chuckled. "You are so funny, Cindy."

Nngh~. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. I-I can't watch any more of this tripe.

"Why are you still subscribed to her?" Bobby asked. "Do you like making yourself miserable or something?"

I sighed. "Bobby, Cindy Tran is the biggest clout chaser in Great Lakes City. If I don't keep tabs on her, she's gonna swipe all of the coolest trends from right under my nose."

Bobby let out a sigh of his own and rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say, Carlota. Still, nice to see your ex moving on."

"Oh, he's not moving on," I snarled. "This is a ploy to get me to crawl back to him; I know it. My only question is why the hell is Cindy playing along? What does she have to gain?"

"My question is why do you care?" said Bobby dryly. "I thought you were over Diego. Heck, you were the one who broke up with him."

"Yeah, which is why he's being so pathetic right now," I said. "And by the way, this doesn't change anything. I'm not going to this thing just because Diego is."

"And Cindy?"

"Whatever game that puta is playing, I don't want any part of it," I said firmly. "If I go to this thing, it's not going to be because of them."

As soon as I said that, I got another notification. Ugh, it'd better not be Cindy again. Hey, wait. It's not Cindy. It's actually…

…

Oh my gosh. I-is this for real? I'd better check it out.

"¡Hola, muchachos~! Alisa Barela here with some big news! I just got word about a fun event at Fairway University for social media influencers, and I am so there! I've never played golf before, but now that I have more control over my schedule, I'm free to experiment and try new things! I look forward to seeing you all there~!"

…

Okay, this is just not fair. Not only are my ex-boyfriend and influencer rival going to this thing, but also my celebrity BFF Alisa? It's like the universe is desperate to make me enter this Golfluencer Tournament. And the crazy thing is it didn't have to twist my arm that much!

"Oh, hey! Alisa's entering the tournament? That's neat," said Bobby.

Oh. Right. What do I say to Bobby? I mean, now I have to go, don't I? I can't just let Cindy Tran show me up, and Alisa's gonna be there, too. Yeah, I don't know much about golf, but Alisa doesn't either, and she's still going.

…

Alright. I'm doing this.

"Bobby, I've made up my mind," I said. "Text Lori back and tell her I'd be happy to be her influencer caddy."

Bobby's face immediately lit up as he threw his arms around me. "That's great, Carlota! I'm sure you two will be wonderful!"

"Th-thanks, Bobby," I said, squirming out of his grip. "But listen, I still need to figure out my angle here. I like the makeup idea, but that's gonna require you driving us around. Are they gonna be okay with that?"

Bobby shrugged. "I don't see why not. I'll double-check with Lori right away. Oh man, this is gonna be so exciting~!"

Just then, a thought struck me. "Wait, hold on! We still need to…"

And, he's gone. Chihuahua. Maybe he was trying to weasel his way out of being my guy liner model, after all. Eh, nah. He's just excited about Lori. I don't blame him; those two really make a cute couple. And I'm not gonna let 'em down.

…

Y'know, I say that, but I'm still kinda nervous. It's gonna be hard to focus on helping Lori when I also have to deal with my ex, my rival, and my celebrity BFF. And that's just the people entering this thing. Who knows what's gonna happen once we actually get there…