Notes: *chucks copy of V3 across the room* BREAK MY HEART WHY DON'T YOU

I'll cheer myself up by finally writing more kuzuhina.

(Please no V3 spoilers in the reviews/comments, I'm still only partway through the game.)

Also, this may or may not be relevant to anything, but "hinata" essentially means "sunshine."

Waiting for Rainbows
Chapter 15: I began to breathe, together with you

"Are you sure you're okay to go for a walk?"

Kuzuryu tried not to huff in exasperation as he buttoned up his shirt. It had been just mildly irritating, earlier in the morning, how blissfully unaware Hinata had been of the ache in his joints, but after finally figuring it out he started fretting endlessly. It was getting annoying, and above all, Kuzuryu didn't need to be coddled; the slight discomfort in his hips was far from the worst pain he had ever experienced.

Also, it was maybe just a little embarrassing that Hinata kept drawing attention to it. Just a bit.

"I'm fine," he grumbled, straightening his collar before shrugging into his vest. "You said you wanted to go to the shrine, right? So let's go."

Hinata wasn't convinced. "We still have another day here, though. We could go tomorrow instead, and spend today resting..."

"We're not wasting your birthday in this fucking room, Hinata." Kuzuryu padded across the floor in search of his scarf, having tossed it somewhere in a blind rage the day before. "I'm fine. It's really not that big of a deal. If it worries you that much, I'll top next time so you can see for yourself."

"Okay. I'm sorry."

Kuzuryu spun around towards Hinata—who was too busy worrying about stupid stuff that he was still only halfway through buttoning his shirt, the dumbass—and quickly strode back over to him. He frowned up at Hinata, then raised a hand and poked a finger squarely in the center of his forehead. The cop blinked owlishly in surprise. "I'm not looking for an apology, you idiot," Kuzuryu said softly. "I'm pretty sure you did nothing wrong."

Hinata stared down at Kuzuryu for a moment longer, then reached out to pull him into a hug. "Just tell me if you're in pain, all right?"

The phrasing told Kuzuryu that Hinata wasn't just referring to the current situation; he was calling back to their discussion the night before. "Same to you," he countered, lightly punching Hinata in the shoulder before relaxing into the embrace. "This isn't pain, though. Just... weirdness."

"Weirdness," Hinata repeated, a breathy chuckle tickling at Kuzuryu's ear. "All right, then."

They stood silently for a few moments, comfortable in each other's arms, and Kuzuryu found himself thinking that maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to take Hinata's offer to just stay there for the rest of the day, out of sight from all the rest of the world. Opportunities to be alone with each other would be few and far between once they returned home, after all. Speaking of which... Kuzuryu peered up at Hinata, grinning slyly. "You know, just now, you didn't object to me topping."

"Uh..." Hinata averted his gaze, rubbing the back of his neck bashfully. "I mean, it doesn't really matter to me, I guess? As long as I'm with you."

Kuzuryu frowned and pushed the cop away. "Okay, you can apologize for that," he said, even as he felt his cheeks heating up. "Being all mushy like that... you're gonna make me sick, fuck."

Hinata laughed, then bent forward and placed a kiss on top of Kuzuryu's head. "I'm sorry, then. Should we get going?"

"Says the guy who still hasn't finished buttoning his shirt. Hurry up or I'm leaving without you." Having located his scarf, Kuzuryu put it on, if only to help obscure his reddening face. It was... annoying how affectionate Hinata could get.

Right. Annoying.

But maybe he didn't mind that much.

Hakone Shrine was crowded, but that was only to be expected on New Year's Day. It was a one hour wait to get to the main temple, the queue of visitors spilling into the tree-lined path to the shrine, but the time passed quickly enough as Kuzuryu and Hinata engaged in light, inconsequential conversation, sharing body heat through their joined hands.

And for the first time in days, Kuzuryu found himself with enough peace of mind to really consider the question that he had been putting off.

"Why is Hinata-kun spending his birthday with you?"

When Nanami had asked it, her voice had been devoid of inflection, giving Kuzuryu no clues as to which part of the question he should focus on. It was part of the reason he had made close to no headway on figuring out the riddle, and he was pretty damn sure Nanami had made it that way on purpose.

But as he and Hinata walked side-by-side towards the shrine, surrounded on all sides by countless other New Year visitors, he realized that he was finally arriving at an answer—not all at once in a flash of inspiration, but gradually, as if it were becoming clearer with each leisurely step.

They crossed the red torii gates into the main temple plaza, and everywhere he looked, there were groups of friends, other couples—and families. Parents holding hands with their children so they wouldn't get lost in the crowd, siblings comparing and arguing over New Year fortunes, mothers helping their young children sip cups of hot amazake... It shouldn't be surprising, of course; New Year was an important holiday, and it only made sense to spend it with family.

So it seemed painfully obvious, as they stepped away from the altar after paying their respects, when Kuzuryu realized that the question hadn't been, "why is Hinata spending his birthday with you?"

It was, "why is he not spending the New Year with his family?"

The answer was that Hinata didn't have a family to spend it with.

Kuzuryu squeezed Hinata's hand in his own when he made the connection, mirroring the constricting feeling in his chest. Hinata didn't have a family? Was that really true? No, he had to have extended family somewhere...

...Except that Hinata had said that he was all his mom had had. So didn't that make the reverse true as well?

Kuzuryu felt his hand being squeezed in return, and when he looked up, Hinata was smiling softly down at him. "Hey, are you all right?"

Kuzuryu opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it, unsure of what he even wanted to say. What was he supposed to say in the face of such knowledge? "Next year," he started, haltingly, "you can come spend New Year at my place. With my family."

Hinata chuckled and looked forward again as they made their way down the temple stairs, towards the lake. "I'm not sure if I should take that as a threat or not."

"Of course you shouldn't, dumbass!" Kuzuryu shoved his shoulder against Hinata's in retaliation. "The fuck are you trying to imply, huh?"

"Sorry, sorry!" Hinata laughed, using his free hand to rub at where the yakuza had bumped him. "I'm kidding. I'm, well..." Hinata's mirth mellowed into a softer smile. "I appreciate it. Thanks, Kuzuryu."

Kuzuryu gazed up at Hinata's expression, and he found himself wishing he could do more, wishing he could offer more. "Hell, you could even come to my place once we get back," he added. "There are still a few more days before the holidays end, so..."

"Thanks," Hinata cut in, "but I have to go back to work on the third. Then in the evening I promised Nanami I'd go over for cake and video games before she has to leave again." Kuzuryu tried not to let his dissatisfaction show at the mention of the girl's name, but he knew he must have failed when Hinata chuckled lightly. "Don't make that face," he said. "She's my best friend, you know that."

Kuzuryu huffed, his breath coming out as white mist. "Whatever," he said. "I don't really care. At least it's not Hanamura; that guy really pisses me off. Was even saying shit to me to suggest that he knew about your sexual appetite."

Hinata's footfalls slowed, prompting Kuzuryu to adjust his pace accordingly before their fingers could slip apart. "He said that to you?" he asked, voice strained.

"Yeah." Kuzuryu scoffed. "Obviously just trying to rile me up with his bullshit. I don't get why you even hang around him."

Hinata didn't immediately respond, but stopped in his tracks and removed his hand from Kuzuryu's. Just as Kuzuryu turned to protest the loss of contact, the cop clapped his hands together in front of himself, bowing his head as if begging for forgiveness. "Okay, in the interest of full disclosure, I have to tell you something," Hinata said. Allowing for only the briefest pause, he quickly continued in a single breath, "There was one time when I accidentally almost slept with Hanamura."

Kuzuryu blinked at him dumbly, not fully processing what he had said; that was a combination of words that should have never been collected into a single sentence, and Kuzuryu was having trouble piecing them back together in his mind, like beads that had fallen off of a string. "What."

"It was about two years ago," Hinata offered as explanation. "I'm sorry. I was really upset, and really drunk, and really desperate for affection."

Kuzuryu fought to form words through the bewilderment and irrational jealousy he felt. "You— what? With him?!" He blinked up at Hinata incredulously, who still hadn't raised his head. Taking a deep breath, he tried to choose his words carefully, knowing that if he let his emotions take charge he risked rekindling the fight that they had only just resolved. "So you were in a bad place and needed someone, I get that, but of all people you went to fucking Hanamura?!"

"That's about the reaction I expected," Hinata sighed, lowering his hands and raising his gaze again, a pained expression on his face. "What exactly do you want me to say? There's not much I can do about it now."

"An explanation for your horrible taste would be great!"

"That's not nice. And I said I was drunk."

"So what's that bullshit you told me about Hanamura never laying a hand on a customer?!"

"That's..." Hinata rubbed his neck uncomfortably, averting his gaze. "Look, we both made mistakes that night, but it was mostly me. We didn't get any further than we did because Hanamura stuck to his principles... eventually."

Kuzuryu glared up at Hinata before turning and continuing towards the lake. "What's with you and Hanamura to begin with, anyway? You said he knew basically everything about your past, but why him? Exactly what is he to you?"

"He's..." Hinata paused. "That's difficult to answer, but in a lot of ways, I guess he's the person who understands me best."

Kuzuryu balled his hands into fists as rage began to boil in the pit of his stomach. "So do you even have any intention to let me take that title from him?!" He spun on his heel and glared up at the cop. "Because with vague-as-fuck answers like that you're still keeping shit from me! You made me promise to tell you when I'm in pain, but how can I offer you the same when you won't let me understand?!"

Hinata frowned, then took a step forward and placed his hands on the blond's shoulders. Kuzuryu had half a mind to shake him off, but in his heart he knew he didn't want to make things worse again, so he settled for seething silently as Hinata gazed down at him, his expression unreadable.

"Kuzuryu," Hinata started. "You're right that I'm guilty of keeping things from you. We both are." He offered a small smile. "I'm really happy that you want to be the person who understands me best. I want that too. I want you to know everything about me, and I want to know everything about you."

Kuzuryu grit his teeth in frustration. "Then why won't you—"

"Because I can't." Hinata squeezed Kuzuryu's shoulders just a bit tighter, his gaze hardening. "I'll tell you anything about me, but what you're asking right now is Hanamura's story to tell. Not mine."

Kuzuryu stared at Hinata silently for a few moments, silently willing his anger away; Hinata was clearly keeping the secret out of honor, and that was to be respected. "So you're telling me to willingly talk to that asshole again."

Hinata chuckled, letting his hands trace down Kuzuryu's sleeves to lace their fingers together again. "Yeah. Sorry about that, but in order to know why he and I are so close, you need to hear it from him."

"Well that's just great." Kuzuryu turned and began making his way down the staircase again, Hinata falling into step behind him. "So, any other secret affairs I should know about? Naegi, maybe?"

Hinata laughed. "No."

"Kirigiri?"

"No way."

"If I ever hear you've laid a hand on Peko I'll have to castrate you with her sword."

"That would definitely be a problem." Hinata chuckled lightly. "But really, Kuzuryu, you're the only one that I've ever..."

They slowed to a stop on one of the landings, close enough to the bottom that they could just barely hear the trickling water from the lake through the silence that fell between them. A few seconds passed, and when it seemed that Hinata wasn't going to be continuing his statement, Kuzuryu looked up at him curiously.

Hinata seemed contemplative, his gaze trained upwards at the canopy of cedar branches, frozen droplets clinging to the leaves glittering like diamonds in the sunlight. Patiently, Kuzuryu watched and waited for his boyfriend to speak.

"Kuzuryu," he finally said at length, and he turned to meet his gaze, smiling softly. "I love you."

And all of a sudden, Kuzuryu forgot how to breathe.

The sentiment itself wasn't a surprise; Hinata had clearly let him know over the past two months, in every glance, every touch, every comfortable moment shared between them. Hinata had been spelling out his feelings slowly, bit by bit, but before long it had been clear as day. And Kuzuryu... well, if those feelings hadn't been reciprocated, he would have pushed Hinata away long ago.

But actually hearing those emotions put into words...

Oh, wow. Wow.

Kuzuryu's heart felt as if it were about to burst, and he knew that his face was heating up spectacularly. He gripped Hinata's hand in a desperate bid to anchor himself through the roiling emotions, and this time, the second answer to Nanami's riddle hit him all at once.

In lieu of a family, why was Kuzuryu the one Hinata was spending his New Year with?

Because Kuzuryu was the closest thing Hinata had to a family. Because Kuzuryu was the most important person in Hinata's life.

Because Hinata loved Kuzuryu.

"O-of course you do," Kuzuryu muttered, immediately regretting that he wasn't giving a more sincere response, but he barely trusted himself to be able to speak if he tried exposing such raw, intimate emotions. "I mean, you better, dammit."

"Yeah." Hinata gave Kuzuryu's hand an affectionate squeeze. "Well, let's keep going, then."

"...Right." Kuzuryu complied, walking at Hinata's side, his entire body feeling dizzily warm—Hinata loved him. Hinata loved him.—but at the same time grappling with the sour guilt building at the back of his throat.

He hadn't been able to say it back.

Kuzuryu glanced up at Hinata, seeing his face in profile, and the cop was smiling contentedly. He didn't seem to be upset or disappointed that Kuzuryu hadn't answered his confession in kind, but still... Still...

It wasn't fair, was it?

Kuzuryu had shied away from letting himself feel so exposed and vulnerable, but he wasn't the only one who would feel that way. Hinata must have felt that same uncertainty, that same fear. And he had said it anyway.

That wasn't fair.

They reached the short stone path at the bottom of the staircase leading to the Heiwa-no-Torii on the lakeside—the Torii of Peace. As they approached, Kuzuryu took a deep breath, let himself be calmed by the sound of the water, and sighed.

"Dumbass," he muttered, staring at a puddle between the rocks at his feet. "I love you, too."

He wasn't entirely sure if he had said it loud enough for Hinata to hear over the sound of the water licking the rocky shore, but after a few seconds he managed to look back up, letting their gazes meet.

And in that moment, Hinata's smile was bright enough to put his name to shame.

-Next time you ask me a question, maybe you should actually fucking say what you mean.

-Oh, did you figure out both answers? If you did, you'll know that you wouldn't have been satisfied hearing them from me.

-Whatever. Still pisses me off. But now I'm the one asking you the questions, got it?

-Hmm, okay.

-Why did you insist on trading contact information? I'm not buying that you only wanted to know when I figured out your riddle.

-Is that so hard to believe? This marks an important turning point in Hinata-kun's personal healing, and I want to know that he's being treated right. Never underestimate how important it is that he's opened himself up to you.
But you're right, that wasn't the only reason. It's maybe a bit of selfishness on my part, but it could be helpful to you too, I think.

-Explain.

-Well, assuming we're on the same page, you now fully understand that you're the most important person in Hinata-kun's life. Before you came along... it was probably me, though not exactly in the same way. Maybe also that Hanamura-kun guy.

-Any idea what the deal is with him, by the way?

-No, I only met him once. I think I can guess, but if I'm right then it's something Hanamura-kun should tell you himself. I'm guessing Hinata-kun told you the same?

-Shut up. Keep talking.

-? Which one do you want?

-Just tell me what it is you're after!

-OK. Well, going forward, I don't think Hinata-kun will be relying on me so much anymore. At least, he shouldn't. If it's something he can go to you for, then it's not my place. But I've still known him longer than you have.

-Are you trying to piss me off?

-It's not conceit, just simple facts. Actually, there's no one in Kibougaoka who's known Hinata-kun as long as I have. So you might sometimes find yourself in a position where you're not sure how best to deal with him or your relationship, and you might want to consult... a Hinata-kun expert? That's what I am... I think. So if you ever need some advice with him, and it's something you don't mind talking to me about, you already know how to reach me.

-...You sure you're not just being too clingy with your best friend?

-I did say I was being a little selfish.

-The honesty is appreciated.

-Thanks, I think. But ultimately, it's up to you whether or not to let me in, Kuzuryu-kun.

-...You know, you may want to work on your negotiation methods. I mean you're offering, what, advice? Shit, that's not gonna get you anywhere with anyone. You've gotta give up something more concrete than that, you know?

-Hmm... I'll see what I can do, then!

-Wait what

Nanami didn't text again until later in the day, after Kuzuryu and Hinata returned to the inn and had a relaxing soak in the hot springs (much more satisfying than the bath the night before). If his phone had been too far out of arm's reach he wouldn't have even bothered to check it, comfortable as he was while he and Hinata lounged around watching New Year specials on TV, but he just barely managed to grab it from the table without needing to move too far from his spot. Which was good, because he was laying in Hinata's lap as the brunet absently stroked his hair and it felt nice.

When he opened the text message and saw the image attachment, he couldn't help but smirk. So that's what she has planned, he thought.

A second image followed soon after, and Kuzuryu chuckled fondly as he scrolled between the two photos. If that was Nanami's idea of a bargaining chip... well, it wasn't a bad trade-off, honestly. He had been intending to agree to her suggestion regardless, but he sure wasn't going to complain about the extra perks.

"What are you laughing at?" Hinata glanced away from the TV screen long enough to shoot Kuzuryu an amused grin.

Kuzuryu hummed noncommittally before deciding there was nothing wrong with an honest answer. "Nanami's sending me your baby pictures."

"Wait— what? She's what?!"

"Don't touch my phone!" Kuzuryu said warningly, halting Hinata mid-grab. He looked up to watch a mix of emotions cross the cop's face, finally settling on a helpless expression as his fingers flexed anxiously.

Hinata sighed and let his hands drop. "Seriously, though? I didn't know she even had baby pictures of me... You sure it's me?"

"Hmm..." A third photo arrived, and Kuzuryu took a moment to study it thoughtfully—it depicted a five-year-old boy with brown hair, dressed in hakama for Shichi-Go-San. Set into a face chubby with baby fat were clear, olive green eyes—eyes that Kuzuryu recognized, even without the pale stress lines. "Yeah, it's you. Cute kid, by the way."

A light blush colored Hinata's cheeks before he returned to running his fingers through Kuzuryu's hair. "Could you show me what she's sending you?"

"Nah. These are my prize."

Hinata chuckled. "A prize for what? I don't mind she's sending them to you, but what are you two up to? Why does she even have your contact information?"

"That's not important." Kuzuryu began lazily composing a message to respond with when a fourth picture appeared, and his thumbs froze above the screen. He stared at the photograph, unsure of how exactly he should be feeling about it. He didn't even know if he should say anything to Hinata about it, but after a moment's contemplation, he decided it was best not to keep quiet. "Your mom looked a lot like you."

Hinata's hand stilled. Kuzuryu looked up at him, apprehensive, but Hinata's initial stony expression quickly melted into a small smile. "It's probably more accurate to say I'm the one who looks like her," he said.

"Yeah..." Kuzuryu studied the picture, wanting to commit the details to memory. A young mother and her son, probably around eight years old, posing together at a summer festival, food stalls lining the street. The woman's chestnut-colored hair was styled into a shoulder-length bob, but it didn't seem to quite want to lay in place, with strands sticking out haphazardly. Her olive eyes, and even the shape of her smile, were an exact mirror image of her son's.

This was the woman who raised the man Kuzuryu loved.

"Wish I could have met her," Kuzuryu said softly. "I can see where you got your good looks."

Hinata chuckled. "I'm not the only one to take after their mom, Fuyuhiko-chan."

"I can't decide which part of that statement pisses me off more."

Hinata laughed openly then, prompting Kuzuryu to sit up and place his phone to the side.

Leveling Hinata with a half-hearted glare, he said, "Call me that again and you're dead. I only let Mom call me that because she's scary as shit."

"All right, I won't." Hinata raised both hands in surrender. "But only if you'll show me your baby pictures next time."

"Only if you don't say anything about me being cute as a baby."

"But you're cute even no—"

Kuzuryu grabbed Hinata by the lapels of his yukata, cutting him off. "You're walking on thin ice right now," he warned.

Hinata very wisely chose to say nothing more, and simply enveloped Kuzuryu in a warm hug.

"Cooking and lovemaking are in many ways very similar." Hanamura said the words with practiced ease as he began to clean up for the night, days later. "The passion, the love, the delicate touch... For example—"

"I don't need your fucking examples," Kuzuryu quickly cut in, starting to regret even asking the question. His eyes darted about the pub nervously, even though he knew all the other patrons had left for the night. Even Hinata had left two hours earlier to catch the last train, having stayed until the very last possible moment. He had squeezed Kuzuryu's hand tightly under the counter, slowly and reluctantly letting their fingers untwine as he left.

Kuzuryu's hand still felt cold and empty.

"Just get to the point and answer the damn question," he huffed.

Hanamura made a noise of disapproval at having been rebuffed, but he obliged, continuing his explanation while putting away glassware. "Anyway, it's a little different when you're cooking for monetary compensation. Every dish I create has to be treated with the same care, the same level of respect. To do otherwise would be unfair to the paying customer, and unfair to the ingredients." He finished stashing away the glasses and turned to face Kuzuryu directly, eyes serious. "Entering into a relationship with a customer introduces an emotional bias that threatens to throw the entire thing out of balance. So, no. I will never sleep with a customer."

Kuzuryu glowered darkly as he considered Hanamura's words. "But you almost fucked Hinata once," he said accusingly.

"I— I wouldn't say it like, well—" The stout cook took a step back, nervously wringing his hands together. His eyes glanced from side to side before meeting Kuzuryu's glare again. "Kuzuryu, he's all yours. He's been yours. There's nothing to worry about."

"I don't need you to tell me that, bastard." He crossed his arms and leaned back haughtily, though he could feel his cheeks warming slightly. "But you two are awfully fucking close and I wanna know why. Hinata said it wasn't his business to say."

"Yes, that sounds like Hinata-kun." Hanamura chuckled and leaned against the counter. "I take it he told you about his mother?"

Kuzuryu paused, then nodded.

"And I take it your mother is still around, Kuzuryu-kun?"

The yakuza frowned. "Yeah, but what about it?"

"You gotta try to understand, then, that it's hard to lose yer mother. 'Specially if she's the only parent you ever got," Hanamura said, slipping into a dialect that Kuzuryu had never heard from the cook before. "A mother's the first person ya ever know, the first human to ever show you love. Losing that is devastatin'. It ain't a pain that heals easy, and sometimes you just gotta rely on someone who's been through the same."

Kuzuryu considered what he was saying. "Wait, so what you're telling me..."

Hanamura grinned, though his eyes shone sadly. "My mama always was frail, and she worked herself too hard in providin' for us. Eventually her body just couldn' take it no more. Sound familiar?"

Kuzuryu stared at his hands, balled into fists on the countertop. "So that's what Hinata meant when he said you understand him best."

"He said that? I'm flattered." He peered at Kuzuryu curiously. "Did hearin' that make ya jealous?"

Kuzuryu flushed. "So what if it—"

"'Cause it shouldn't." Hanamura turned around and picked up a rag to wipe down the bar. "My bond with Hinata-kun ain't one to be envied, Kuzuryu-kun."

Silence fell in the pub, Kuzuryu mulling over what he had learned as he watched Hanamura clean up. That kind of common ground... definitely wasn't to be envied, that was true. He knew what it was like to lose a sister, and losing a mother had to be similar... but different. Kuzuryu didn't know that difference. Logically speaking, he should be glad that he didn't.

But there was still a part of him that still hated that Hanamura could connect with Hinata on a level that he couldn't.

He watched Hanamura work, grinding his teeth in irritation. "Don't you think it's a waste?" he finally spat out.

Hanamura paused, dropping the rag as he turned to look at Kuzuryu. "What is?"

"You, being here in this dead-end town, running some trashy pub." Kuzuryu gestured vaguely at the dining room behind him. "Don't you think your mom would have wanted better for you?"

"Ahh." Hanamura folded his arms, giving an understanding grin. "Yer right, in a way. I actually studied French cuisine in school, 'n always did want a place that was a bit fancier than this. Don't go thinkin' I'll forgive ya calling my restaurant trashy, though."

Kuzuryu scoffed. "Whatever. So what the hell are you doing? Did you just give up?"

"Hmm..." Hanamura returned to cleaning. "I didn't give up, 'zactly, just kinda put it on hold fer a bit. Wanted a good job once I got done wit' school so I could give Mama a better life, but I just couldn' find anything I was happy wit', and then her health failed."

"So you stopped trying?"

Hanamura tapped a finger against the counter thoughtfully. "Well... It's like this. At the funeral, I reconnected wit' a cousin I hadn't seen in ages. Turns out he knew a guy who knew a guy who was tryin' ta sell this property in some sleepy place called Kibougaoka. Not in the city proper, but close." He grinned. "Trouble is the clientele ain't really lookin' for a fine dining experience here. Gotta cater to demand."

Kuzuryu frowned. "So you're settling for less because it's easier."

"Now that's just makin' it sound bad. The way I see it..." Hanamura paused, then laid a hand on the countertop, looking down at the granite wistfully. "This place? In a roundabout kinda way... it's sorta like the last gift Mama gave to me." He looked back at Kuzuryu, a small smile in place. "It's not where I wanna be forever, but for now... I just kinda wanna hold on to this gift."

Kuzuryu stared at him for a moment before turning away with a huff, letting Hanamura return to his cleaning. That kind of thinking... Kuzuryu really didn't like it. It just screamed of being half-assed in life, and he couldn't stand seeing people letting themselves waste away like that.

When he heard rationalizations like that, though... he was starting to think that maybe, sometimes, it wasn't always so bad.

"You know, there's one thing you still haven't told me," Kuzuryu had said their last night in Hakone, curled up beside Hinata in post-coital warmth.

Hinata gave a wry chuckle and turned to face him, propping himself up on an elbow. "I'm sure there's more than just one. But what do you want to know?"

Kuzuryu paused to think back, hoping he could remember enough so that he wouldn't sound stupid. "Nanami asked you something the other day, in the koban... fuck, I can't really remember... Something about comparative or something?" So much for not sounding like an idiot.

"Oh, that." Hinata averted his eyes awkwardly, and Kuzuryu noted with interest how red his boyfriend's cheeks were turning. "That's, well..."

"Yeah?"

Hinata huffed out a sigh, still not quite meeting Kuzuryu's gaze. "She was asking if I'm 'happier' or 'happiest'... being with you. Comparative or superlative form."

"Oh." Kuzuryu felt his own cheeks growing warm as he fully absorbed the meaning of the words. "What the fuck? Shit, that's so embarr..." He trailed off, then suddenly shot up onto his elbows, pinning Hinata with a glare. "Wait a fucking second, you said it wasn't superlative!"

Hinata ran a hand down his face, eyebrows knitting together. "Kuzuryu—"

"What, so I'm not good enough for superlative?!"

"I said comparatively superlative."

"And that still makes no fucking sense!"

"Kuzuryu, would you just listen to me?"

If he were to be truthful, Kuzuryu was kicking up a fuss mostly just to be contrary, so he shut up with a huff and let himself flop back down onto the futon. "Fine. Explain yourself, then."

Hinata bit his bottom lip, apparently taking a moment to gather his thoughts before starting to speak. "Well, it's like... I mean, I'm definitely happier being with you than with anyone else. That's what I mean by comparatively superlative."

Kuzuryu knew his cheeks must be turning an impressive shade of red, but he resolutely kept a frown in place. "You just don't have the backbone to commit to using straight-up superlative, then?"

"That's not..." Hinata paused and made a sort of grasping motion in the air with his hands, as if he were trying to physically grab on to the point he was trying to make. "It's just that superlative is so... superlative. It's an extreme, and there's nothing beyond it. In other words, reaching superlative means you've reached the end." He averted his gaze, color flooding his cheeks, and rubbed at his neck in a show of awkwardness. "So... I don't want to reach superlative with you. Ever."

For a long moment, Kuzuryu just stared at Hinata. He stared, turning his words over in his mind, fully processing them...

...and then covered his face, rolled onto his other side, and let out a loud groan.

"Kuzuryu?!" he heard Hinata from behind him. "Are you all right? Are you hurt somewhere?"

"Yeah, my entire being is in pain from how embarrassing you are!" Kuzuryu exclaimed, rolling back towards Hinata but keeping his burning face hidden. "Shit, I bet even my ancestors can feel the secondhand embarrassment right now! How can you even say stuff like that without wanting to die on the inside?!"

"You're the one who made me say it!"

"I didn't know you'd take the opportunity to be such a fucking sap!"

Hinata made a flustered sort of huffing sound before responding, "I was just telling the truth, though."

Letting out a sigh, Kuzuryu peeked through his fingers up at his boyfriend, then in a single motion shot out a hand and placed it at the nape of Hinata's neck, pulling him close. "Look," he muttered, hoping he came across as at least a little menacing even as the tips of their noses ghosted against each other. "Half-assed shit like that? I hate it. You've gotta either go big or go home."

"I know."

"If you spend your life shying away from extremes, you're nothing but a fucking coward."

"Right."

Kuzuryu took a deep breath, trying to calm the raw emotions bubbling up in his chest. "But on this point, at least," he said, "I guess I can settle for just comparatively superlative."

Hinata laughed softly, his breath a gentle caress against Kuzuryu's lips, before the distance was closed between them.

Notes: And there we have it! I've finally finished up this holiday mini-arc... and it's late March whAT HAPPENED (didn't this happen last year too?)

The next chapter or two will be a collection of side stories, in order to give myself some time to do research for the next storyarc! Hopefully I can get back to my once-a-month posting schedule that way...