Notes: So, uh... *sweats* It's been a while, huh...! I won't bore you with the details of why my productivity dropped to zero during the first half of this year—there are so many factors, some of which I still haven't entirely identified, that it would end up being longer than this chapter itself—but, um... I'm back, and I think I'm ready to go back to monthly updates! Hopefully...

At the very least, I was DETERMINED to update this story for Kuzuhina Week 2018! And, uh... well, this may be the last day of the week, but I also wrote kuzuhina in a Hogwarts AU earlier this week if you're interested in that eheheHEHEH...

Also feel free to follow my twitter WFRainbows where I post updates to assure everyone I'm not dead and also sometimes maybe share little doodles?

With that said, here's the first chapter of a new little storyarc! I had actually scrapped this arc at first because I thought it was kind of weak, but when I was struggling with the one after it, I revisited it and I think it actually helps improve the story as a whole!

My beta is on her way to Japan right now so any errors in this chapter are my own. I hope you enjoy anyway!

Waiting for Rainbows
Chapter 16: It gently caressed my long-dead heart

It went without saying that Hinata loved spending time with Kuzuryu. Whether it was spending the day idly chatting at the koban, sharing drinks over dinner, or the rare occasion they would find enough privacy to be more affectionate, Hinata cherished every moment with him.

But something didn't feel quite right. The sheer frequency of their time together was nice, but Hinata had started to wonder about what was being sacrificed to make it happen. They weren't teenagers with ample free time, after all.

He pondered the issue as he stared down at the book in his hands without really registering the words written within. He and Kuzuryu had decided to take a stroll through a nearby shopping arcade after Hinata's shift, but being a Sunday evening, most of the smaller shops were closed already. One of the only places still open was the chain bookstore they had stepped into to momentarily escape the cold.

Hinata tapped the edge of the book thoughtfully, fighting off the prickles of recognition in response to the lines of legal terminology. His feet had sought out the criminal justice section as if on autopilot, but he wasn't looking to voraciously consume knowledge like in his early college days. He had only wanted something to occupy his tactile senses while he focused on his internal struggles.

He could suggest point-blank that they shouldn't spend as much time together... but that was unlikely to go over well. It had only been two weeks since they had resolved their first major argument, and Hinata wasn't very keen on sparking another. An explanation to establish context would need to preface the suggestion, but that would require the right opportunity...

"Hey, you ready to go?"

Jostled from his thoughts, Hinata blinked and looked towards Kuzuryu leaning against the end of the bookshelf. "Oh, yeah." He placed the book back on the shelf and turned to his boyfriend. "Let's get going, then."

They walked to the exit together, and upon stepping outside, Kuzuryu shivered and pulled his coat snugly around him. "Damn," he hissed, shifting the brown paper package in his arms. "It's feels even worse after being in the warmth for a while.

Hinata had been about to offer Kuzuryu something warm to drink, but he was distracted by what the yakuza was carrying. He hadn't noticed him holding it before, and judging by the logo on the paper and the fact that it was vaguely book-shaped, it was logical to assume that Kuzuryu had just bought it. Hinata must have been really deep in thought; he hadn't even noticed Kuzuryu wandering off to another section, much less heading to the register.

"What's that you have there?" he asked nonchalantly.

Kuzuryu glanced down at the package as if he had forgotten it was there. "Oh, yeah. Some of the guys wanted, you know... some special magazines."

Hinata frowned. He wasn't sure what he had expected to hear, but that certainly wasn't what he had wanted to hear. Sighing, he stopped at a vending machine on the street corner and surveyed the hot drink options. "Don't you have subordinates you can send out on those errands instead?" he asked as he inserted a few coins.

Grinning, Kuzuryu hoisted the package in his grasp, nudging Hinata's arm with the movement. "What, you jealous?"

"No." Hinata jabbed the button for hot cocoa a bit more forcefully than necessary. Okay, maybe a little jealous. "But I'd think you have more important things to do for your family than running petty errands, you know?"

It occurred to Hinata, halfway through uttering the sentence, that he had created the opportunity he had hoped for without even realizing it.

Kuzuryu barked a short laugh in response. "Pretty rich to hear a cop encouraging me to do that stuff!"

"I'm not saying this as a cop." Having retrieved two cans of hot chocolate from the machine, Hinata turned to hand one to the other man. "I'm saying this as your boyfriend."

Kuzuryu looked up at Hinata, one eyebrow cocked. "...Oh. You're serious." He sighed and tucked the package under one arm to take his cocoa in both hands. "How would you know what I do or don't do when you're not with me, though? I could be making amazing progress with the clan for all you know."

"With what time?" Hinata shook his head. "Kuzuryu, we were together all day yesterday and today... hell, we haven't been apart for more than an hour at a time since you arrived at the koban on Friday. I don't want to be eating up all your time."

Kuzuryu stared at him critically, golden eyes peering into Hinata's own. "But you're not saying you don't like being together," he said, more of a statement than a question.

"Of course not." Hinata smiled softly. "I love spending time with you, but you want to take over, uh... your dad's business someday, right? If it's something you really want, then I want you to succeed." He stepped closer and brushed his warmed fingertips against Kuzuryu's knuckles. "I don't want to be the reason keeping you from that."

Kuzuryu was silent for a moment, studying Hinata's expression carefully. He fiddled with the pull-tab on his drink and shifted the package under his arm again before muttering, "And what about what you want?"

"Huh?" Hinata was a bit taken aback by the question; hadn't he made that clear enough? "Like I said, of course I'd want you around, but it's more important that you're happy with what you have in the long run, so..."

The blond gave a heavy sigh and opened his cocoa, taking a long sip before answering. "Fine, I get it. I'll talk to my dad about giving me more responsibilities. That good enough for you?"

"Uh, yeah." Hinata tightened his grip on his own can of cocoa. "Yeah, that sounds good."

"Now finish your drink while we're still near a recycling bin."

Flustered, Hinata popped open his cocoa; he hadn't even started on it yet!

"Hey." Kuzuryu leaned against the building facade adjacent the vending machine and gestured to his side. "We have time, dumbass."

Taking Kuzuryu's invitation, Hinata walked over to stand next to him, relaxing against the wall. They stood together in comfortable silence and leisurely sipped at their drinks. "So," Kuzuryu said at length. "Was that all that was bothering you?"

"Hm?" Hinata blinked down at him blankly before catching on to his train of thought. "Oh, in the store? Yeah, that was all."

Kuzuryu frowned up at him for a moment before shrugging and setting the package down on the ground. "All right then."

Hinata stared at the package curiously. It was rather thick; how many magazines had Kuzuryu bought?

Catching his gaze, Kuzuryu grinned. "Relax. I'm not gonna be looking at that stuff."

"I wasn't—!" Hinata shook his head, face warming. "That wasn't what I..."

"Besides, even if we won't be together as much anymore," Kuzuryu said, pausing to take a sip of his cocoa, "why would I need that? I've still got you."

Hinata spluttered into his cocoa.

The next day, Kuzuryu didn't show up at the koban at all.

Which was perfectly fine, of course. Hinata had been quite clear; he wanted Kuzuryu to be doing the things he needed to succeed, even if it meant he wasn't around as often.

But goddamn, Hinata had forgotten how boring Kibougaoka was without Kuzuryu there.

The time seemed to stretch on forever, and Hinata was hard-pressed to find something to keep himself occupied. He spent Kirigiri's patrol and lunch break organizing the paper case files they had stored, expecting to feel some sort of accomplishment once he was done. Instead, as he looked at the fully reorganized filing cabinets that evening, he just felt like he had wasted way too much time and energy on decade-old paperwork that probably hadn't even been touched since the building was renovated.

More than once he considered texting Kuzuryu to ask what he was up to, but that seemed like a ridiculous idea to entertain after all his talk about only wanting what Kuzuryu wanted.

He wasn't clingy. He couldn't be clingy. He was just bored from a lack of stimuli, and he needed to resolve that on his own.

By midday Tuesday, Hinata had resorted to continually pulling open random filing cabinets, hoping to find something he had missed the day before, any sort of busywork to occupy his time, even just slightly crooked papers to be straightened out in their folders.

"Hinata-kun," Kirigiri spoke up, raising her voice over the rolling of yet another cabinet drawer, "while I appreciate your newfound meticulousness, you may want to give it a bit of a rest."

"Right. Sorry." Hinata shoved his hands in his pockets to keep himself from messing with the cabinets.

Kirigiri gave him a weary look. "This isn't the first time Kuzuryu-kun hasn't shown up for a few days," she pointed out.

"I know," Hinata insisted. That only made him feel more ridiculous, to be honest.

"And if he'd gotten into trouble, I'm sure Pekoyama-san would have let you know."

"Trouble?" Hinata started at her, realization dawning upon him. "What... do you think he got hurt or something?"

"No, I just said—"

Unable to stay still, Hinata strode across the room and exited the koban for a breath of fresh air. He sighed deeply once he was outside, the chilled air stinging his lungs. Kirigiri was right, Pekoyama would have let him know if something had happened, but the blatant reminder of how dangerous Kuzuryu's world was was just so jarring.

Hinata took another deep breath to steel his nerves, then looked across the traffic circle to see a person standing there.

The first thing he noticed was that it was not Kuzuryu.

Hinata wanted to bash his head against the wall, ashamed of his over-attachment. Of course it wasn't Kuzuryu; the figure across the street was distinctly feminine, though the woman's face was currently obscured by a DSLR camera. His best guess, judging by her angle, was that she was taking pictures of the koban building—which, of course, meant that she probably wasn't from the area.

Sensing a potential distraction from the humdrum of the day, he debated going over to speak with her. The last time he had greeted a stranger gawking at the building, he had ultimately ended up with a boyfriend... which he of course did not intend to be the case this time, but the memory helped ease his mind, prompting a smile to tug at his lips. Without a second thought, he crossed the street and approached the woman.

"Hey!" he called out amicably. Startled, the woman lowered her camera and turned to look at him, her red shoulder-length hair swaying with the motion. "Are you new around here?"

The woman looked flustered for only the briefest of moments before her lips pursed, expression hardening into a stubborn frown. "If it's about the camera, I'm not violating anyone's right to privacy here," she said defiantly. "And if you dare try invoking the Anti-Nuisance Ordinance to apprehend me for harmless street photography, you should know that you'll only be viewed by the public as a pathetic man uselessly flaunting his authority."

"Uh..." Hinata blinked rapidly, taken aback by the verbal barrage. "No, I... I just wanted to say hi. You're not doing anything wrong, so far as I can see..."

The woman kept her defensive stance, but she carefully packed the camera into her shoulder bag. "Well, I think I'm done taking photos of the building, anyway. That's not part of my assignment, I just thought it was interesting..."

"So you're in Kibougaoka for work?"

The woman sighed and tucked her hair behind an ear before answering. "Yes, I'm a magazine photographer. We have a Valentine's issue coming up and I'm working on a piece highlighting lesser-known candy shops." She pulled a business card from her bag and handed it to Hinata. "I'm Mahiru Koizumi."

"So you're here for Andoh's place," Hinata commented, accepting the card. He vaguely recognized the name of the magazine she worked for—a women's weekly magazine that he occasionally spotted in convenience stores. "I'm Hajime Hinata, by the way. I'm stationed at the koban you were just taking pictures of."

"That koban... it's a bit of a strange design, don't you think?" Koizumi put her hands on her hips and peered across at the building. "I noticed it on my way back to the train station and couldn't help stopping to stare, you know?"

Hinata laughed. "Yeah, that's pretty common the first time someone sees it." Noticing Koizumi's red knuckles and her slight shiver, he gestured towards the koban. "Would you like to come in and warm up a bit before getting back on the train? We have have a hot water kettle if you want some tea."

Koizumi narrowed her gray-green eyes at him warily. "Uh-huh. And you're a real cop, not a sicko trying to prey on some helpless little woman, right?"

Hinata sighed and pulled out his badge, flipping open the bi-fold to show her his ID. "Yes, I'm really a police officer. That's a real koban, there's nothing shady going on here. And if you're really that suspicious of me, my female senpai is there as well."

Koizumi inspected the ID card for a moment before nodding her assent. "Okay, fine. I accept your invitation, Hinata."

That's a bit of a rude way to refer to a police officer you just met, Hinata thought, but he said nothing as he ushered her inside.

Her initial apprehension towards Hinata aside, Koizumi was friendly enough—though she remained decidedly more friendly towards Kirigiri, showing the senior officer an assortment of pictures on stored her camera as she sipped her tea.

When Hinata asked to take a look at some of the pictures as well, Koizumi complied, but didn't bother to hide her suspicious look. "Don't you have anything more productive you could be doing with your time?"

"I wish. Believe or or not, I already reorganized this whole office yesterday."

Koizumi gave a noncommittal hum, sounding thoroughly unconvinced. Deciding to drop the argument, Hinata focused on the images on the camera's display.

Hinata didn't know much about photography—or anything about it, really—but he could tell that Koizumi was definitely talented. She clearly had a sense for lighting and angle; even the deceptively simple photos of pastries looked more enticing than the pictures Andoh posted to her social media, despite depicting the exact same subject matter.

There were all manner of photographs on the camera—buildings, people, landscapes—and Hinata was scrolling through a collection of gorgeous snowscapes when the door to the koban opened and he glanced up to address whoever it was.

"Hey," Kuzuryu said casually, unraveling his scarf to remove it. "Sorry I haven't been by."

Hinata wanted nothing more than to jump up and envelop the smaller man in a hug, but he restrained himself and managed to calmly return Koizumi's camera before standing up. "It's fine!" he said reassuringly. "You've been busy. So what's up?"

"Yeah..." The yakuza spared the briefest of glances towards Koizumi—who narrowed her eyes in response—before focusing back on his boyfriend. "I have some time tonight so I was thinking we could have dinner together if you want."

"Yes!" Hinata answered quickly, then immediately felt self-conscious of the two women in the room watching them. "I mean, sure. I'm getting off work at the same time as usual tonight. So, Kuzuryu, do you—"

The sharp screech of a chair against the floor interrupted his train of thought, and Hinata spun around to see that Koizumi had jumped to her feet, face pale. "Did you just say 'Kuzuryu'?! I knew it, I knew he looked familiar—"

"Shit," Kuzuryu muttered under his breath, drawing back towards the koban door. "Hinata, I'm out of here, I'll see you—"

"Don't you dare run from me, Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu!" Koizumi cried out, leaping forward and grabbing his wrist to keep him from leaving. "I can't believe you'd have the nerve to show up before the police in the first place, when you're the scumbag who killed Natsumi-chan!"

It felt like the temperature of the room dropped about ten degrees in that instant, and the look on Kuzuryu's face nearly made Hinata's heart break. Seeing his boyfriend look so crushed, so broken after just a few words, all Hinata wanted to do was hold him in his arms and try to make it better... but it was far from the time or the place for that. Not when they were at his work, closely watched by his superior and a stranger who had just very loudly accused his boyfriend of murder.

After what seemed like an eternity, Kuzuryu opened his mouth to speak. "You have no idea what you're talking about," he said quietly, jerking her hand from his sleeve in one sharp motion.

"I know that a hit was ordered on her, and now she's dead! And you haven't even so much as apologized for it!"

"Wait, calm down," Hinata said, stepping between them. "Koizumi, please stop. That isn't—"

"And why should I?!" Koizumi yelled, turning her attention to Hinata. "I can't imagine you'd be speaking like that, officer, if you knew that this guy is with the yakuza!"

"I..." Hinata faltered, his mind a whirl as he grappled with his professional commitment to keeping the peace and his personal loyalty towards Kuzuryu. "I... that's..."

"We're aware," Kirigiri spoke up, her tone calm on the surface as she stepped in to mediate, though Hinata knew her well enough to also sense a tinge of aggravation. "But Koizumi-san, I'm going to have to ask you to stop yelling about it."

The photographer stared at her, dumbfounded. "You can't be letting it slide?"

"We're monitoring the situation," Kirigiri clarified, glancing towards Hinata almost imperceptibly. "In the meantime, the residents in this area aren't yet aware of the fledgling yakuza presence. We'd like to avoid a panic, and since this building isn't sound-proof..."

Though it looked like nothing could pain her more, Koizumi relaxed her stance and sighed. "Fine, I'll quiet down, but I'm still not happy about it. I mean, if I didn't know any better, I'd think that this guy," she pointed towards Hinata, "was trying to defend this monster who killed his own sister!"

Hinata clenched his fits. "Look, he didn't—"

"Quit it, Hinata," Kuzuryu breathed, punctuated by a sharp tug at the edge of Hinata's sleeve. "It's fine. I'm just going to leave. We can do dinner some other time."

Kuzuryu's expression hadn't eased a bit, looking ever more devastated, and Hinata could feel his heart aching. "I... well, I mean, if you're sure..."

Kuzuryu gave a short nod and turned to leave, then paused with his hand on the doorknob. "Koizumi," he said, commanding the redhead's attention. "I'm not going to do anything to you. I won't be telling the clan to do anything to you, either, so much as is within my power. But..." He tightened his grip on the doorknob, his knuckles turning white. "Don't go around talking about that sort of thing. Don't reveal that you have that kind of knowledge. Not everyone in my world is as forgiving."

Having said his piece, Kuzuryu yanked the door open and disappeared into the January chill. Half a minute later, when no one had broken the uneasy silence settling in the koban, Koizumi quietly excused herself as well.

Hinata shifted on his feet awkwardly, unable to calm down with the sight of Kuzuryu's distressed expression burned into his retinas. Hesitantly, he gestured towards the door. "Um, Sempai, I'm going to go try to find Kuzuryu, I'll be right back..."

Kirigiri regarded him for a moment, her gaze thoughtful. "No."

"N-no?" Hinata blinked at her. "I'll be right back, I just—"

"I said no, Hinata-kun." Kirigiri purposefully walked around him and stood in front of the door with her arms crossed, blocking his path. "Do not for go after Kuzuryu-kun."

"I can't just leave him!" Hinata argued, bewildered by her refusal. "Did you see him?!"

"You are at work." She narrowed her eyes at him. "Start acting like it."

Hinata was flabbergasted, and fumbled for words for a moment. "Sempai, he's hurting! I can't just let him go like that!"

"Hinata-kun, what did you promise me when you became involved with him?"

He pulled his mouth into a thin line, trying not to explode at his superior officer. "Sempai, that's not—"

"As long as you wear that uniform, and hold that badge, you are an officer of the law and you are to act like one." Kirigiri's tone didn't change drastically, but the pressure kept building within the office. "That needs to remain your priority, and I need to draw the line somewhere. So I'm drawing it here. Text him if you must, but do not leave this office looking for him. Any self-respecting yakuza can handle being accused of a crime. Kuzuryu-kun will be fine without you."

Hinata was fuming. He knew that what Kirigiri was saying wasn't wrong, but in light of what had just happened, it just felt so insensitive, so cruel. Why couldn't she see that? Why did she insist on being so unreasonable?

"Let me guess," Hinata said snidely, before he could even process what he was doing. "The candidates for this year's detective exam were announced the other day, weren't they? I bet you were passed over for promotion, again, and now you're just taking it out on me by asserting your seniority."

Hinata knew that what he was saying was entirely unfair, but his anger and frustration overrode what would otherwise be common sense. And he could tell immediately that he had made an enormous mistake; he had actually managed to crack Kirigiri's impassive facade, the corners of her lips turning downward in a frown and fire burning in her eyes.

"Officer Hajime Hinata," she said lowly, embers smoldering in her tone. "I will take over your afternoon patrol today. You are to remain stationed here."

Hinata ground his teeth together, biting back a retort. He had messed up, and he had to accept the repercussions. "Yes ma'am."

"If I find that you have stepped foot outside this koban for any reason unrelated to your job, I will rethink my stance of silence on your relationship with Kuzuryu-kun."

Hinata took a deep breath before answering again, "Yes, ma'am."

Kirigiri gave a short, stiff nod, before turning on her heel and leaving the building, letting the door shut silently on her way out.

And perhaps the way that Kirigiri didn't even allow the slam of a door to rattle Hinata's strained emotions was the most maddening thing of all.

-Hey, are you okay? Where are you? Do you want me to come by tonight?

-I'm at home. I'm fine. Don't bother coming over, it's too far. You have work in the morning.

-All right. I'll get on the first train after work, then.

-...okay.