Notes: IT'S EXACTLY 11:59 PM ON AUGUST 16 AS I FINISH THIS CHAPTER, IT'S STILL KUZURYU'S BIRTHDAY AND IT WILL STILL BE HIS BIRTHDAY IN SOME TIMEZONES BY THE TIME IT'S UPLOADED SO THAT COUNTS AS BEING ON TIME RIGHT? RIGHT?

not betaed and barely even proofread because I procrastinate too much

(EDIT 8/18/18: I went back to proofread and made some major changes to parts that were just utter garbage. If you already read this chapter when it first went up, I highly recommend at least jumping to the second half to see what's been changed!)

Waiting for Rainbows
Chapter 17: Killed by none other than myself

Being in a committed relationship with Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu afforded Hinata several privileges.

Very early on in their relationship, Kuzuryu had offered him the names of businesses in Hachioji where Hinata could mention him to get "special discounts." Hinata had balked at the idea, and Kuzuryu had cracked up in laughter over his expression. (That would have led Hinata to believe that it was just a joke, if not for the fact that the yakuza heir then rattled off the list of businesses anyway. Hinata made no effort to commit them to memory.)

Kuzuryu had also floated the idea of assigning Hinata a bodyguard. Hinata wasn't too keen on that idea either, insisting that he could defend himself if it really came down to it, and Kuzuryu hadn't argued.

The one privilege that Hinata did take advantage of was being allowed to know the location of the Kuzuryu family home: it was in Ome, tucked into the mountains just southwest of the city proper.

Kuzuryu was right when he said that Hinata would be arriving too late; traveling there from Kibougaoka involved taking an eastbound train for thirty minutes, then switching lines at Shinjuku and heading west again for another hour. Then, after arriving at Ome station, a taxi or car was needed to make the last leg of the trip into the mountains to reach the Kuzuryu house.

So far, Hinata had only made the trip the Friday prior, so that they could spend his Saturday off together. He couldn't see it being very feasible on any other day of the week, even if he rented a car to drive a more direct route, but, well... this was a special case, and he was determined to make it work somehow.

A few stops before arriving, Hinata received another text from Kuzuryu.

-Don't call a cab, I'll meet you at the station.

Hinata expected a car to be waiting for him, but he was surprised to walk through the turnstile and see Kuzuryu himself standing just inside the open doorway, a small duffel bag slung over his shoulder.

"What are you doing out here?!" he exclaimed, his hands reflexively flying to Kuzuryu's chilled cheeks to warm them up. "You should have just waited in the car for me."

"There is no car," Kuzuryu muttered, pulling Hinata's hands away as his cheeks grew even redder. "I had them drop me off here."

Hinata blinked down at him. "Then how are we getting to the house?"

"We're not," Kuzuryu said simply, turning on his heel, but keeping hold of Hinata's left wrist. "I booked a hotel. This way."

...Oh. Hinata followed dutifully as he tried to process the new information. The Hakone trip aside, they had never gone to a hotel together before—Hinata was simply too well-known to the general public, and the implications of him being seen entering a hotel with another man were too great to risk it. But Ome was far enough removed from the metropolitan center that the chances of him being recognized were slim.

Still, from what he had gathered the weekend before, Kuzuryu wasn't too terribly shy about the two of them being together at the house.

"The only ones here who'd have a problem with it are the ones who have to suck it up and come to terms with the fact that I'm their future boss," he had muttered, a defiant gleam in his eyes.

There was a bit of a different vibe between them when at the house, somehow—Hinata still hadn't quite put his finger on it—but at the very least, Kuzuryu had let him stay in his bedroom, and while nothing happened, a few kisses had been exchanged behind closed doors.

If Kuzuryu had booked a hotel room, he likely wanted a level of privacy he couldn't get while in his own home.

It felt like Hinata's heart was constricting in his chest. He wanted to so badly to wrap his arms around Kuzuryu right then, but it probably wouldn't go over very well, out in the open as they were. Instead, he settled for twisting his wrist out of Kuzuryu's grip to clasp their hands together, palm to palm, fingers intertwined. Hinata gave an experimental squeeze and, with an embarrassed scowl, Kuzuryu squeezed back.

A small smile tugged at Hinata's lips. "So how are you doing?" he asked, trying to find something to fill the silence between them.

"I'm fine, Hinata."

Pushback. Okay, he'd have to try something different. "Pekoyama didn't leave you at the station like that, did she?"

Kuzuryu gave a one-shouldered shrug. "I'm sure she was watching from somewhere, but I told her to at least go do her own thing once you showed up."

Right—that was the norm. Hinata hesitated before continuing. "Did you talk to her about what happened?"

"No need."

Hinata winced a bit at the brusqueness of the reply, and Kuzuryu must have noticed, as he glanced up at him apologetically.

"Look, just... let's just get to the hotel, okay?" He turned forward again and nodded towards a building they were approaching. "It's just on this corner here, come on..."

Kuzuryu's fingers slipped from his grasp as they entered the hotel, and Hinata hung back, silently watching the other man check them in at the reception desk. He wasn't sure what to make of Kuzuryu's behavior; he didn't seem to be as "fine" as he had claimed, but despite cutting off most attempts at conversation, he was still displaying enough muted affection that Hinata didn't feel unwanted. Even so... he hadn't stepped out of line, had he? Was making the trip to Ome that night the right decision?

"Hey." Kuzuryu returned, jangling a pair of room keys. "We're on the fourth floor. Let's go."

Their trip upstairs was a silent one, punctuated only by the creaking of the rickety elevator and Kuzuryu's soft curses as he fought with the aging lock on their door. Once they finally got in the room and the door had shut behind them, however, Kuzuryu dropped his duffel bag, turned on his heel, and wrapped his arms around Hinata's torso, burying his face against his chest.

Hinata took a moment to steady his balance, but soon hugged Kuzuryu in return, tucking his boyfriend's head beneath his chin. He smiled lightly when he felt Kuzuryu sigh against him, the yakuza's body relaxing almost imperceptibly. Yeah, he'd been right to come to Ome.

"Okay, that's enough," Kuzuryu announced far too soon, pushing Hinata away and turning back around, almost before Hinata could see the pinkness of his cheeks. "Hmm. Not a bad room, considering this place is old as fuck."

"Uh, yeah," Hinata agreed, though he really didn't care about the room at all. As long as it had a bed, four walls, a ceiling, and Kuzuryu, that was good enough. "So, um, about what happened today—"

"You smell like shit though." Kuzuryu swiftly picked up a towel from the foot of the bed and shoved it into Hinata's arms. "Go take a shower, you're all sweaty from walking around all afternoon."

That was obviously a lie, not least of all because Hinata hadn't been on patrol, but he didn't argue; he couldn't deny that Kuzuryu's blatant avoidance of the issue was becoming frustrating, but it wouldn't do any good to force the matter. His boyfriend was clearly asking for some time to himself—which he probably wouldn't have gotten at home—and, well, a shower probably was in order anyway. "Okay," Hinata said slowly. "Uh, but Kuzuryu—"

"Go in by yourself, I already showered at home."

"That's not what I—!" Hinata's voice caught in his throat as his face grew warm, then he sighed. "I mean, we are going to talk, right? Once I get out of the shower?"

There was a pause. "Yeah... yeah, we'll talk." Without meeting Hinata's gaze, Kuzuryu settled himself on the bed and turned on the TV, absently flipping channels. "Just... feel free to take your time in there, I guess."

Deciding that was the best he was going to get for the moment, Hinata shed his coat and hung it up before dutifully closing himself into the tiny bathroom. It was small enough that he had to half-step into the shower stall just to have enough room to undress—it definitely wouldn't have been feasible for Kuzuryu to join him in there, even if they had wanted to share a shower. Hinata sighed as he removed his trousers, taking his phone out of his pocket and turning it off to preserve its battery overnight before placing it on a medicine cabinet shelf—and he paused. He glanced around the room and felt his heart leap into his throat.

He didn't have a change of clothes.

He stared down at his towel as if the terrycloth contained all the answers in the world. That had been the only thing that Kuzuryu had given him before all but chasing him into the bathroom. What... exactly, did that mean to for the rest of the night?

Hesitantly, Hinata hung up the towel and backed into the shower. At the very least, dumbly standing around naked wasn't going to accomplish anything. He closed the frosted door and turned the water on full blast without bothering to adjust the temperature, letting ice-cold water pellet him like hailstones as his mind whirled.

It wasn't that Hinata particularly had a problem with his boyfriend seeing him in nothing but a towel—Kuzuryu had already seen him clad in less. It wasn't even the idea that they might have sex, in itself, that bothered him. He had known that was a possibility from the start, and he was of course open to it if time allowed.

It was the concept of it happening before clearing the air that had him on edge. Kuzuryu hadn't been terribly committal about talking, after all.

For the first time—possibly far too belatedly—he wondered if Kuzuryu was just looking for sex to forget everything else. That... didn't feel like it would be right to Hinata, but at that point what was he supposed to do? Wouldn't it make things so much worse to refuse Kuzuryu? He didn't want to make his boyfriend even more upset, but he didn't like the idea of being used as a mere distraction either...

There was a sharp knock at the door; Hinata started, yelping in pain as his knee banged loudly against the shower door. "Yes?!"

There was a brief pause. "The hell is wrong with you?" came Kuzuryu's voice.

"Uh, nothing," Hinata said as he rubbed his knee—and, shit, suddenly he realized that the water had turned scalding at some point. He adjusted it to a more comfortable temperature. "Nothing's wrong. What's up?"

"I've got a change of clothes for you," Kuzuryu said slowly. "I'm gonna open the door real quick to put them—holy fuck, it's like a sauna in here!" Judging by the vague shapes of color Hinata saw through the frosted door, Kuzuryu had poked his head into the bathroom. "Just how hot did you have the water running?!"

"Sorry, I, um... I just turned it down," Hinata said sheepishly. "Uh... thanks for the clothes. I'll be right out."

The bathroom door closed again, and Hinata leaned his forehead against the tiled wall, relief flooding his body. So that was one less thing to worry about. There was still the issue of Kuzuryu's emotional state, of course, but at least it didn't seem like he'd try to jump Hinata immediately out of the shower.

He hurriedly finished washing up, toweling himself off as quickly as possible before changing into the T-shirt and sweatpants Kuzuryu had left for him. Feeling warm and a whole lot more relaxed, he headed out into the bedroom where Kuzuryu was waiting on the bed, changed into his own sleepwear.

The yakuza tsked when he saw Hinata. "Did you dry your hair at all?"

"Oh..." Hinata ran his fingers along his bangs, feeling water dripping down his forehead and nose. "Um, kind of?"

"You'll catch a cold if you leave it like that," Kuzuryu chided. He reached up to grab the ends of the towel hanging around Hinata's neck, then gently tugged. "Come on, sit down here. I'll dry you off."

Obediently, Hinata sat down on the bed, his back turned to Kuzuryu. He felt the mattress shift as Kuzuryu rose onto his knees to rub the towel over Hinata's hair, fingers gently massaging his scalp as he worked. It felt nice.

Hinata let his eyes droop closed, allowing at least a few minutes to focus on the sensations before addressing the true matter at hand.

"So," he said finally, "can we talk now?"

Kuzuryu's hands paused for the briefest of moments before continuing. "Yeah, sure," he mumbled. "It's just... kind of weird to actually say this stuff. No one's ever really cared about my feelings and shit besides Peko, and she gets me without me needing to put it into words."

Hinata felt the tiniest pang of jealousy. "Ah... I see."

Kuzuryu paused again. "That's... just because we grew up together, you know."

"Yeah, I know."

They fell into silence for a few more minutes as the yakuza dried off Hinata's hair. Finally, his hands slowed to a stop, and he pulled the towel off to toss it aside. As if pleased with his work, Kuzuryu began running his fingers through the slightly damp hair. Hinata turned to face him.

"So... who was that?" he asked, leaning into Kuzuryu's caress. "I mean, how do you and Koizumi know each other?"

Kuzuryu scooted closer to him so that their thighs touched. "I'm pretty sure she went to high school with my sister," he said, his fingers tracing a path around the shell of Hinata's ear. "They were in photography club together. I remember seeing her at the funeral, but we'd never really talked."

"Okay," Hinata said slowly, experimentally reaching an arm across Kuzuryu's shoulders. He felt his heart shudder joyously when Kuzuryu leaned into his touch, shifting half onto Hinata's lap to rest his head in the crook of his neck. "But she thinks you killed your sister?"

"Of course a fuckin' rumor like that went around." Kuzuryu pretended to be not much of a cuddler, but when he let his guard down he would gladly curl into Hinata's body heat, seeking any contact possible, just as he did right then. Hinata placed a kiss on the top of his head. "Natsumi was such a charmer, I'm sure she had her schoolmates convinced that she was the angel and her brother was a total scumbag. Who would blame them for thinking I had a hand in her death?"

"Right," Hinata said uneasily. "But you didn't."

"Why are you stating the obvious?"

Hinata's arms tightened around the smaller man's body. "Just... it must bother you that there are people who think that."

"Not really." Kuzuryu kept his gaze downcast and began to idly run his fingertips along Hinata's thigh, the fabric of the sweatpants tickling Hinata under his touch. "I've heard it all before, and I'll hear it again. It's not a big deal."

"You say that, but it obviously upset you..."

"...So I'm human. Got a problem with that?" He shifted, turning around to straddle Hinata's lap and letting their gazes finally meet. Kuzuryu's eyes were sharp but warm. "But in the end, as long as the people that matter believe me, that's enough."

Unsure of how to best respond to that, Hinata settled for raising a hand to cup Kuzuryu's cheek and bringing him close for a soft, brief kiss.

When they separated, Kuzuryu looked to the side, his cheeks and nose dusted a light pink. "So... why do you believe me, anyway?"

Hinata blinked. "What do you mean?"

"I mean... you're only known me for a few months." Kuzuryu's fingers whispered lightly up and down Hinata's forearm; was he nervous? "And considering how I'm yakuza and shit, you seem to believe my side of the story way too easily."

Hinata caught Kuzuryu's hand in his, lacing their fingers together. "Well, I like to think that I'm a pretty good judge of character," he said, then brought their hands up to leave feather-light kisses along Kuzuryu's knuckles. "And it's hard to think that you'd be able to kill your own family when you're so gentle when you touch me."

Kuzuryu reddened significantly. "Wha— you—" He pulled his hand away with an indignant scowl to roughly grab the front of Hinata's shirt. "I'm gentle, you say?"

Hinata knew full well that he was treading into dangerous territory, but his boyfriend's reactions were so cute that he couldn't help himself. "Yeah," he said. "You're sweet and gentle."

"Sweet and gentle, huh?" Kuzuryu repeated, his voice trembling with what he tried to present as rage but was probably mostly embarrassment. "Sweet and gentle. How about we see if you're still saying I'm fucking sweet and gentle after tonight, huh?"

He pushed Hinata backwards onto the mattress, and Hinata barely had a moment to wonder if he'd be able to patrol the next day if Kuzuryu topped before their lips crashed together, Kuzuryu biting and sucking fiercely. Hinata tried not to laugh at his boyfriend's way of proving a point and focused instead on answering in kind. After a few minutes Kuzuryu pulled back, breathing heavily against Hinata's swollen lips before ducking down to nibble at his neck.

"Ah, wait," Hinata whispered, ignoring the way Kuzuryu glowered as he gently pushed him away. It took everything in Hinata's power not to let him go back to it, because it had definitely felt good, but he had work the next day. "I don't want a mark there," he explained.

Kuzuryu huffed. "Dumbass."

Hinata laughed lightly and brought Kuzuryu down for another kiss, guiding him into a softer, easier rhythm. They kissed lazily for a long while, relishing in the sensations as they let their hands wander, dipping underneath clothing just enough to tease at fevered skin.

Finally, Kuzuryu pulled back and Hinata watched with half-lidded eyes, expecting him to go fish out whatever supplies he had brought in the duffle bag. Instead, Kuzuryu settled himself onto Hinata's chest, looking a bit embarrassed, not quite meeting Hinata's eyes.

"I just remembered," he said, his voice low and husky, "about this other time I was accused of killing her."

Hinata stared at him blankly, struggling to reconnect with what they had been discussing before. "Yeah?" he breathed.

"I actually lost a deal because of it, once," Kuzuryu continued. His voice was surprisingly gentle for the subject matter. "The first time Dad sent me to negotiate something on my own, and the dickhead I met with said he didn't want protection from a clan that's so intimidated by a little girl that I'd have her killed."

"Oh..."

"Honestly, I think the guy was just trying to provoke me. And my dumb ass fell for it." Kuzuryu grinned—grinned?—at Hinata, his golden eyes dancing in the dim hotel light. "I was so pissed at myself for being an idiot after the fact, I went to some hole-in-the-wall place to get hammered and forget all about it. Ended up meeting some dumbass cop who just threw my life into even more of a mess. Made me fall in love with him and all that shit."

Hinata chuckled, reaching up to run his fingers through Kuzuryu's short hair. "Sounds like that cop was a real idiot."

"Tell me about it."

The distance closed between them again, a brief meeting of the lips before Hinata pulled back enough to chuckle wryly. "Probably the biggest idiot ever."

Hinata went in for another kiss, but Kuzuryu sat up, staring down at him accusatorily. "What did you do."

"I never said I did anything," Hinata countered, averting his gaze.

"Bullshit you didn't do anything. What did you do?"

Sighing, Hinata sat up against the headboard. "I kind of... got in a huge argument with Kirigiri-sempai today. Made her angrier than I've ever seen her before."

Kuzuryu stared at him in disbelief. "Holy shit, what? Really? What happened?"

Hinata grimaced. "I wanted to go after you when all that stuff went down today, and she wouldn't let me. I got so frustrated that I ended up saying the most hurtful thing I could to her."

There was a long pause as Kuzuryu processed that information. "What the hell, Hinata," he said finally. "Are you a dumbass?"

"I thought we had already established that."

"No, but are you a dumbass?"

Hinata frowned. "I was worried about you," he said lamely.

"I was fine."

"No you weren't."

"Okay, so maybe I wasn't," Kuzuryu conceded, "but holy fuck, you have to do your job!"

"I know, I know, I really messed up." Hinata sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "It's kinda weird to hear you say that when you want me to quit being a cop anyway, though."

"I want you," Kuzuryu punctuated the word by poking Hinata in the chest, "to do a fucking good job at whatever it is you do. Ideally, yeah, it would be something you want to be. But I don't care if you're a cop or a lawyer or you work for me. Whatever it is, don't half-ass it."

Hinata took a deep breath. "Okay, fine. I'm going to apologize to her first thing in the morning."

"Good." Kuzuryu leaned up to place a kiss at the corner of Hinata's mouth, then frowned. "Damn, that really pulled me out of the mood."

Hinata laughed. "Sorry. I should be getting right to sleep, anyway. We can cuddle, though?"

"I don't cuddle."

Hinata looked at him, eyebrow raised, and simply held his arms open.

After a moment, Kuzuryu obliged.

Notes: This chapter is shorter than usual (okay, not as short after the edits) and the next two chapters will also be a bit short... Originally I planned them to be two chapters of approximately 4.5k words instead of three 3k chapters, but I like the chapter breaks better this way~

The next chapter will be posted on September 17, aka KUZUHINA DAY! (Please someone celebrate Kuzuhina Day with me I don't want to be all alone again...)