Title: We've Got Tonight
Author: Steph
Rating: PG
Pairing: Robin/Patrick
Category: Romance/Drama
Disclaimer: I do this out of a love for this couple. No infringement is intended.
Spoilers: 6/21 episode
Summary: After their talk on the terrace, Robin wants to know what Patrick really thinks about when he's lying in bed looking at her.
Note:This just popped into my head after watching those scenes on the terrace. I needed to see more, so I just had to write it. I needed to delve a little deeper and find out what he was really going to say! So, hope you enjoy it and please let me know what you thought! -Steph
--- We've Got Tonight: Part 1/1 ---
Robin lay her head on Patrick's shoulder, as her fingertips trailed across the bare skin of his chest. Their kiss on the terrace had quickly grown heated and it didn't take long for them to find their way to Patrick's room.
She tilted her head and looked up at him, realizing that his eyes had been focused on her. Her cheeks grew red, as she thought back to his comment on the terrace about how he looks at her when they're lying in bed.
Robin had never actually considered that he would watch her after they had sex. It seemed too intimate, too personal.
She would know. Watching Patrick Drake as he slept was her newest hobby.
She wondered about his comment though. He had paused, as if he were going to say one thing and had changed his mind, deciding to lighten the moment and say something decidedly Patrick-like instead.
She realized that her gaze was still focused on his face, as she was lost in thought.
"What?" he asked softly, his hand stroking her soft hair.
"Nothing," she replied, as she lowered her head.
He brought his hand up to her chin and tilted her head up so she would once again look at him. "Walls, remember?"
She swallowed hard, but managed a weak smile. "Fine, you asked for it."
She saw his eyes cloud over and he nervously licked at his lips, but didn't say anything.
Robin took a deep breath and forced herself to stay focused on his eyes. "On the terrace before, when you said you would look at me as we're lying in bed and think about how you like having sex with me...Well, that's not what you were going to say at first. You paused and I could see in your eyes that you were holding something back, I could hear it in your voice. What were you really going to say?"
Patrick lifted his eyes to the ceiling and rubbed at his mouth.
"Robin," he said quietly.
"You wanted to know, Patrick."
"I didn't think you'd bring this up," he replied flatly.
She touched his cheek so that he would look at her. "This walls thing goes both ways. You put your own walls up, but there are moments when we're lying here and they come down. Can't now be one of those moments? Can't you just put your walls down and let me in?"
"I think I've done that enough for one day," he whispered, feeling as if he had already revealed too much to her by saying how much he liked her and by merely telling her he looks at her while she's lying next to him in bed.
"What were you going to say?" she asked again.
"It doesn't matter," he replied, his voice tinged with annoyance and trying desperately to hide his fears.
"It matters to me," she said softly.
Patrick sighed and ran a hand down his face, as he moved his eyes back to the ceiling. He took a deep breath and then let it out slowly.
How could he tell her this? Was he even ready to admit this much? There's no way they could go back to the way things were after this. He would reveal too much. He would reveal that there's much more between them than casual sex and enjoying each other's company.
"Patrick," she whispered.
He blew out another breath and then swallowed hard, eyes still focused on the ceiling. He licked at his dry lips before speaking, his voice emerging softly. "When we're lying in bed, and you let down your walls, I look at you and think...I must have done something right in my life because you're here with me."
Patrick slowly, reluctantly, moved his gaze down to Robin's. Her mouth was agape, surprised that he would dare to admit so much.
He breathed in deeply and went on, "You act like you don't deserve to be with me, Robin, when the truth is, I'm the one who doesn't deserve to be with you...on any level."
Her brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"
He closed his eyes, as he ran a hand through his hair. "You have expectations and standards that I know I could never live up to. That's why we can never be more than this."
Robin lifted herself up on her elbow, cradling her head in her palm and looking down at him. "Is that what you were really talking about tonight? You think you can't live up to my standards? That you'd disappoint me if we tried to take this further? That's what you believe?"
"Isn't it what you believe?" he asked softly, his eyes searching her face.
She shook her head. "No, it's not. What gave you that idea?"
"Well, you have a habit of pointing out that you are constantly searching for more beneath my shallow surface."
"So?"
"So every time I give you a glimpse of more, I do something to ruin it and you say that there was never really anything to find."
She lowered her eyes guiltily, the hurt in his voice making her stomach turn to knots.
"I'm usually angry when I say those things. I don't mean them."
He nodded slowly, "Yes, you do. I disappoint you all the time, Robin. I fail to meet your expectations and standards on a pretty consistent basis."
"So this is why you want to keep it no strings between us? You're afraid of disappointing me?"
Patrick brought his hand to her cheek and caressed it gently, his eyes meeting hers. "I'm afraid of losing you."
Her forehead wrinkled. "I don't understand. You're not making any sense, Patrick. You don't want to really be with me because you don't want to lose me?"
His tongue darted out and moistened his lips. "I think I made it pretty clear to you tonight how much I like you...how much I care about you. The truth is, you've become a pretty big part of my life, Robin, and I'm not just speaking professionally or physically. I think about you when I wouldn't expect to. I consider what you would think or say about something. I enjoy spending time with you, no matter what we're doing. I like hearing your opinions on things that matter to me, even if I don't agree with them." He sighed. "I'm not sure when it happened, but at some point I realized I can't imagine you not being a part of my life. But if we try to take this further and it doesn't work out, then I will lose you. I'm not sure I could stand that."
Robin's eyes swept across his face. She was still shocked by his openness and honesty. She brought her thumb up and ran it across his dimple.
She then met his eyes, her voice soft, "Have you ever stopped to consider that it could work out?"
"It wouldn't."
"What makes you so sure?"
"I just told you. I never fail to disappoint you, Robin." He added under his breath, "And you're always one step away from giving up on me entirely."
She shook her head, her voice constricting with emotion. "Those are your words, not mine. The truth is, not a day goes by that I'm not pleasantly surprised by something you say or do. I've scratched beneath the surface, I've seen glimpses of the man you truly are, and I'm not disappointed. Far from it. I'm sorry if by looking for that man I made you feel inadequate. That wasn't my intention." She took a deep breath before going on. "When we're lying in bed, and you let down your walls, I look at you and think...some of the best things in life are the ones we never saw coming. You're that for me."
Patrick smiled and put his arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer to him. He brought his lips to her forehead and kissed it gently. He allowed his lips to linger there, enjoying her warmth.
Robin's fingertips danced across his chest.
"So what does this mean for us?" she whispered.
He moved his lips from her forehead and replied quietly, "Let's have tonight, Robin. Just let me hold you." He paused before adding, "Maybe we can answer that question tomorrow."
She nodded her head and pressed her body closer to his side, draping her arm across his chest. "Okay."
His hand stroked her hair, before snaking around her waist. "Okay."
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Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed it and please let me know what you thought. -Steph