Two weeks later….
Olivia was sound asleep when she heard her door open and heard that creek that made her skin crawl. She opened one eye slightly and looked at her clock and noticed that it was three in the morning. She closed her eye again.
She gripped her gun under Mark's pillow and just held it. She opened her eyes again and saw a tall shape in her doorway. She quickly knew that James was not that tall and it couldn't have been him.
The shape approached closer and in a split second Olivia was aiming her gun at the tall form.
"Oh Christ! Liv it's me" She quickly heard Mark's in almost in a panicky voice.
Olivia quickly put her gun down "Mark?" She asked turning her light on her nightstand.
"Olivia?" Mark mocked smiling as he sat down by her on the edge of the bed. Olivia smiled and let go of the gun and hugged him so hard it almost knocked him down. He wrapped his arms around her and held her.
"What are you doing here? I thought you got out tomorrow," Olivia asked smiling resting her head on his shoulder feeling safe again.
"I was supposed to but Logan got me out early" Mark answered kissing her cheek. The touch of her skin came like medicine, something he needed and wanted for so long.
"You look so different" She said grinning. He had more muscle and had a goatee.
"Bad different?"
"Very sexy different" Olivia said smiling as she touched his goatee which she loved but she hardly ever saw him in unless he was working for a couple of days and couldn't come home "Oh my god I'm so happy your home" She whispered as she hugged him again.
"Me too" Mark whispered holding her.
"Why do smell like cigarettes?" Olivia asked with a disgusted face.
"I started smoking but I'll quit I promise" Mark answered as he gave her another kiss on the cheek "I'm going to go take a shower"
"Ok, don't be long cause I missed you a lot" Olivia said smiling as she let go of him. He just nodded with a small smile and went to the bathroom.
Olivia took the gun and put it in the drawer where both of them kept their guns and put the lock on it since she didn't need it anymore since Mark was home.
She heard the shower and smiled. She opened the door slowly to surprise him. She smiled and saw that he was rinsing his hair. She opened the doors to the shower quietly and playfully touched his ass like she always did when she sneaked up on him in the shower.
Mark freaked out and grabbed her neck feeling her squeeze his ass.
Olivia looked into his eyes and saw only gray. She knew his eyes got gray when he became scared. "Baby its me" she choked out still with his hand over her neck.
Mark quickly released seeing that it was his wife "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" He quickly blurted out and moved away and hit the wall with his back.
Olivia looked at him and saw that the hand he put to her neck was shaking involuntarily.
"Baby what's wrong?" Olivia asked concerned as she turned off the water.
"Nothing" Mark answered as he quickly grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist so she wouldn't see the scars.
"Honey…"
"I'm fine, I'm fine," Mark mumbled in a low voice as he walked out of the bathroom. Talking more to him self then her.
Olivia just stood there totally confused to what just happened. Was he scared of her? Did she do something wrong? She was totally out of it noticing that this wasn't her Mark. It wasn't the Mark that made jokes and in his cute way asked for sex. It wasn't him.
She slowly came out of the bathroom and saw him pulling on his jeans over his boxers.
"Where are you going?" She asked looking at him as he pulled on a hoodie.
"I have to go take care of something." Mark answered as he pulled on some shoes.
"You just got home and its 3 in the morning" Olivia said as she lay down in bed.
Mark sat by her on the edge of the bed "I know but I'll be back before you wake up for work I promise" he said with a small smile as he lightly took her chin in his hand and gave her a small kiss.
Olivia grabbed him by his hoodie and pulled him closer and started kissing him. She pulled him more and more until he was on top of her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him harder.
"I have to go" Mark whispered breaking the kiss.
Olivia lightly kissed his lips "Stay and I'll give you a treat" she whispered smiling flirtatiously. She moved her hand down to his belt and slowly started running her hand down his boxers.
Mark quickly removed her hand before she touched him all the way. "I should get going I need to finish something," Mark said quickly pulling himself up from her and got off the bed.
"Mark no" Olivia whined playfully extending her hand to him.
"Sleep and when you wake up I'll be making your breakfast" Mark said smiling as he kissed her hand "I love you"
"I love you too but I hate you right now since I've been waiting two months for sex" Olivia said smiling. Mark gave her a kiss and went out the door.
He walked to his car and pulled out his cell and dialed a number. "I need the number for the anonymous STD testing clinic…ok thanks" He called the clinic and went straight to it even if it was 3 in the morning.
He sat in an office with his sleeve rolled up. He hated needles but at this moment he hated himself for letting what happened to him happen in the first place.
"Ok Mr. Anderson, lets do it," The doctor said pulling out the needle. Mark missed Olivia's small giggle whenever someone called him that. He missed her hand to hold when a needle was by him. He missed her. But he couldn't bring himself to tell her what happened because he couldn't let her think that her own husband was a rape victim. He just couldn't.
The doctor put the needle in and Mark just went numb since he was freaked out by needles. Seconds later he pulled the needle out filled with Mark's blood.
"How long do I have to wait for the results?" Mark asked as the doctor put a cotton swab on his arm.
"About a week"
"That long?" Mark asked raising an eyebrow.
"Yes, we will call you when we find the results" The doctor answered as he put the tube of blood in a bag "I'll give you some pills to drink just to be on the safe side" The doctor said as he handed him a small bottle of pills.
Mark took them and just looked at them "Ok thanks"
"Any questions?"
"Not for now, thanks" Mark answered as he got off the table. The doctor just nodded and left the room. Mark pulled on his hoodie and put the bottle inside the pocket.
He got home around 5 in the morning after visiting his own office to pick up a file. Everyone was still sleeping. He drank the pills and then hid the bottle.
As he promised he started making breakfast.
Olivia's alarm went off at six. She woke up and thought she dreamt Mark coming home. She smiled when she heard clutter in the kitchen since she knew he was clumsy especially for a federal agent.
She got out of bed and saw him making pancakes. She went behind him and touched his arm.
Mark winced a little feeling the touch.
"It's me," Olivia said when she noticed he flinched.
"Sorry you just scared me" Mark said with a small smile.
"I scare you?" Olivia teased smiling as she wrapped her arms around his stomach.
"No I just got startled," Mark answered as he flipped the pancakes.
"Are you ok?"
"I'm fine"
"Are you sure?" Olivia asked raising an eyebrow looking up at him.
"Just need to get used to being home, no big deal," Mark answered smiling as he gave her a kiss. Olivia just nodded.
"Do I smell Pancak…daddy!" Mike yelled out smiling when he saw Mark.
"Mikey!" Mark yelled out smiling as he kneeled down. Mike ran to him and jumped into his arms. Olivia just smiled and took over the breakfast.
"I missed you" Mike said smiling as he gave him a kiss on the cheek.
"I missed you too buddy" Mark said smiling as he gave him a kiss on the head and picked him up.
"Lets go play basketball" Mike said excitingly as he wrapped his small arms around Mark's neck.
"It's too early but we'll go I promise"
"But you promised you would play basketball on our birthdays and you weren't there" Mike said looking at him. Mark's smile just faded since he felt guilty enough.
Olivia heard what he said and knew Mark was feeling bad about it before he even left. "Michael honey why don't you go and wake up your brother and sister" Olivia said as she took Mike and put him on the ground.
"Ok mommy" Mike said and ran out of the kitchen.
"Well I guess they pretty much consider you a better parent," Mark said quietly as he turned to look at the pancakes.
"That's not true, c'mon don't think like that" Olivia said in a low voice wrapping her arm around his waist.
"Yes it is"
"No its not, they love you no matter what sweetie, you know that" Olivia whispered looking up at him. Mark said nothing and kept his head down looking at the breakfast. Olivia just stroked his hair and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
"Daddy?" Matt asked coming into the kitchen rubbing his eyes sleepily.
"The one and only" Mark answered smirking and turned around. Matt smiled and ran to him and jumped into his arms. Mark lifted him up in the air as Matt started giggling. Mark smiled and hugged him.
"I missed you" Matt said grinning as he gave him a kiss on the cheek.
"Same here" Mark said as he returned the kiss and held him in his arms.
James and Jenny came into the kitchen with Mike holding their hands and pulling them in, both of them looking sleepy.
"C'mon you two daddy is back," Mike groaned as pulled the two 16 year olds in.
"Mike dude we'll see him later, jeez he'll look the same after we get enough hours of sleep" James groaned rubbing his eyes.
"Give me a hug and then go back to bed you lazy teenager" Mark teased smiling as he hugged James.
"Nice goatee by the way" James said smiling as he hugged him
"Thanks"
"Are those pancakes?" James asked smiling.
"Yes"
"Then I'll stay" James said smiling as he let go and went over to the stove. Mark rolled his eyes and hugged Jenny.
"I'll stay for you and the pancakes," Jenny answered smiling as she hugged him.
"Well that's better, thanks baby" Mark said as he gave her a kiss on the head. Jenny smiled and went to the stove.
"Daddy lets go play basketball," Matt said as he tugged on Mark's jeans and looked up at him.
"You guys can go later, we need to eat breakfast first" Olivia spoke up since she didn't want Mark to feel bad again. The twins shrugged and sat at the table. Mark looked over at Olivia and nodded gratefully. Olivia just smiled at her husband.
All of them ate breakfast as a family. James went to skateboard at a park with friends. Jenny went shopping at a mall with her friends. The twins were playing video games in the living room. Olivia was getting ready for work as Mark just laid in bed and watched her.
"Where did you go this morning?" Olivia asked as she pulled out her holster from the drawer and put it on and then locked the drawer again.
"Just to work for a file," Mark answered.
"What file since you're not on any case now and other agents are taking care of the case you did the undercover work for?"
"Oh…um…my…my dad's" Mark answered quietly. Olivia quickly looked over at him.
"Your father's file?" Olivia asked shocked since she knew Mark broke down when he talked about his father.
"Yea"
"Why?" Olivia asked quietly sitting down next to him.
"I want to know why he did it"
"They were never able to find a reason, baby it was a long time ago you wont find anything"
"I need to know" Mark answered quietly as his eyes got watery.
"Why?" Olivia asked as she took him in a hug.
"I just need to, I went on long enough not knowing why he killed my mother and then killed himself in front of me"
"Baby don't do this, it will only hurt you since I know its hard for you talk about it let alone look at pictures and read about details" Olivia whispered kissing him on the head.
"Olivia I didn't stop you when you wanted to investigate your mothers rape so don't stop me from doing this"
Olivia just nodded and kissed him on the cheek "If you need anything call me ok?"
"I will" Mark whispered back as he gave her a kiss on the cheek "You should get going before you're late for work"
"I'm already late" Olivia said smiling as she let go of him. "What are you doing today?"
"I have to do a session with Huang since its required and then I'm going to hang out with the boys"
"Ok, call me if you need anything ok?" Olivia asked as she put on her badge.
"I will, be careful, I love you"
"I love you too," She said as she gave him a kiss. Mark returned the kiss. Olivia smiled and left the room.
Mark took his father's file and took a deep breath and let it out before opening the file. He looked at the pictures of his mother on the ground with a bullet in her head. Pictures of his father on the ground dead with the gun still in his hands.
His eyes got watery looking at it and a having a complete flashback witnessing everything.
"Daddy?" Mike's voice rang through the room. Mark quickly closed the file not wanting his son to see the pictures.
"Yea buddy?" Mark asked looking up.
"You want to go play basketball now?"
"Yea, lets go" Mark said smiling as he got off the bed and put the file in the drawer with his gun and locked it again.
Olivia came to work around 8.
"Your late" Elliot said smirking as he twirled a pen with his fingers.
"Sorry, Mark came home last night so everyone had breakfast together" Olivia said smiling as she took off her jacket and sat at her desk.
"He did? I thought he was supposed to come out this afternoon"
"He was but I think Logan got him out early"
"That's great, you feeling better now?"
"Yea" Olivia answered grinning as she opened a file. John and Aaron walked through the doors.
"Hello Olivia" Aaron said smiling. Olivia said nothing and waved silently as she kept her eyes on her file. "When is your husband coming home?"
"He came back already," Olivia answered not wanting to look at him.
"So now he lies when he gets home, isn't your husband a player," Aaron said smiling as he sat down on her desk and looked at her.
"Go get a girlfriend Sandberg" Olivia replied as she took another file and opened it. John and Elliot just exchanged looks.
"What's your problem?" Aaron asked raising an eyebrow at her. Olivia looked up at him and was about to say something when Elliot cut her off her.
"Hey Aaron why don't me and you go see Warner" Elliot interrupted knowing Olivia hated Aaron's guts even though he didn't know why and Olivia refused to tell him. Aaron said nothing and followed Elliot out of the precinct.
It was around 2 in the afternoon and all the detectives were sitting around talking about their latest case. Huang came through the doors.
"Hey doc, what are you doing here?" Elliot asked knowing that no one called him for the case yet.
"Olivia can I talk to you for a second?" George asked looking at her.
Olivia got off of her chair "Sure" she said nodding as they started walking down the hall in the precinct.
"I have to do a session with Mark because it's required after going undercover for something like prison"
"Ok" Olivia said totally confused what she had to do with it.
"I had a session with him this morning and you know how he uses his sense of humor to change the subject?
"Yea"
"He wouldn't talk about what happened when he was in Sing Sing all i got this morning was his sarcasm" George said as he sat down by a window.
Olivia sat down by him "What do you want from me?"
"Has he acted weird since he came home?"
"Yea, extremely" Olivia answered and then leaned in closer and then in a low voice "He flinches when I touch him…we didn't even have sex yet, I started kissing him and he became all weird and just said he had to go and he left"
"How does he interact with the kids?"
"Fine but he feels extremely guilty for not being there for the twins birthday," Olivia answered quietly.
"Olivia we have something" Elliot's voice rang down the hall.
Olivia stood up "We'll talk later ok?" she said looking at George. He just nodded. Olivia went down the hall back to the squad room.
Olivia got home at 9. She went to their room and Mark was already sleeping since he didn't sleep at all the other night. She took off her badge and holster and put them in the drawer. She lightly touched Mark's shoulder to wake him up since he fell asleep in his jeans.
Mark quickly woke up getting startled and grabbed her wrist and twisted it.
"Baby its me, its Olivia," She groaned. Mark quickly let go.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I'm so sorry," Mark quickly blurted out as he moved away from her.
"It's ok. Baby tell me what is wrong" Olivia said gently as she sat by him when she saw that his hand was shaking again.
"No, I'm fine," Mark answered as he kept moving away from her.
"Mark sweetheart, please tell me"
"Not again, it can't happen again, never again" Mark said staring at the ground as he got off the bed and moved back from her.
"What? What are you talking about? What cant happen again?" Olivia asked totally confused.
"I'm not him, I'm not, I can't be," He repeated as he walked back and hit the wall with his back.
Olivia quickly realized he was talking about his father. She got up and walked over to him.
"Olivia I don't want to hurt you, please don't" Mark said as he moved back more and more even though he had nowhere to go.
"Your not your father, you wont hurt me," Olivia whispered as she hugged him "Your not him"
"What if I am?"
"Your not, trust me I know"
"I don't want to hurt you" Mark whispered as he gently hugged her.
"You wont. I know you and you are not your father you understand me?" Olivia whispered as she hugged him tighter. She had a complete déjà vu only the other way around. Mark was telling her that she wasn't her mother or her father and now she was telling him the same thing. He comforted her when she was worried about the same thing and now it was her turn to comfort him.
"I don't want to hurt you in any way" Mark whispered.
"C'mon lets go to bed," Olivia whispered taking his hand and leading him to bed. She lay down and hugged him. He hugged her and held her.
Both of them fell asleep in each other's arms still in their jeans and dress shirts.
It was around 11 o'clock the next day and Mark was lying on the couch in George's office for another session that was required.
"Your such a loser you can actually listen to people's problems all day" Mark teased looking up at the ceiling.
George rolled his eyes hoping he wouldn't make jokes through the whole thing like yesterday "Then tell me what your problem is"
"Listening to you"
George just smirked "You going to make jokes again?"
"Yes"
"You need to talk about this"
"There's nothing to say"
"I think there is"
"Then you tell me what to say doc cause I'm coming up blank" Mark replied still starring at the ceiling with his hands folded on his stomach.
"What happened in that prison?"
"I did my job, that's it"
"How are you getting used to being back?"
"I'm just peachy"
George just smirked and knew he couldn't let it go "Mark how are you getting used to being back?"
"I was undercover, I wasn't really in prison"
"But you were in a real prison with real convicts"
"So? You have a point or you just giving me the facts?"
"It must have changed you"
"Nope. I'm the same old Mark"
"Olivia told me you flinch when she touches you. Why is that?"
"None of your business"
"I'm your shrink, it is my business" George said smiling.
Mark said nothing for a couple of seconds "That prison…that god damn prison"
George just looked at him glad that he was starting to open up "What about it?"
"I saw things I never wanted to see" Mark answered as he made his hands into a fist.
"Like what?"
"Fights, rapes, gang rapes. Things that no one innocent should have in their head"
"Did it happen to you?" George asked as he saw that Mark was getting mad.
Mark quickly answered "No"
"Then why do you flinch and get startled every time your wife touches you?"
Mark was silent for a couple of minutes and just starred at the ceiling and played with his goatee "Two weeks ago"
"What happened two weeks ago?"
"It was late at night. I don't even know what time it was but it was quiet so I think it was like 3 or 4 in the morning. I couldn't sleep. All I wanted was to hold my wife. I heard the cell door open…and…three guys come in. Next thing I know…one of them is holding my arms and handcuffing them…the other is tying up my legs…the third guy…. the third is pulling down my pants…and then his own" Mark answered quietly as his eyes became watery.
"He raped you?" George asked surprised since he knew Mark longer then Olivia and Mark was one of his strongest friends.
Mark just wiped his eyes "All I could think was 'It's going to end, it's done' all I wanted was my wife in my arms. I couldn't fight back…both of my hands were tied up and my legs…they put a gag over my mouth that was covered in urine…I gagged every time I tried to scream…I tried to fight back I really did…they kept a knife to my throat"
"What happened when he was done?"
"He switched with one of the guys"
"The second raped you?"
Mark just nodded "After the second one…the third took his turn"
"Where was your cellmate during this?"
"They dragged him out and put them in another cell while they...you know" Mark answered wiping his eyes.
"What did they do with the knife?"
"After all three were done…they took the knife…and…they cut three lines on…on my penis"
"Like a tally?"
"Yea, how sick is that. I mean how can I even look at my wife now"
"Did they do it again?"
"No, I got put on suicide watch after"
George quickly looked up "How come?"
"I grabbed an officer's gun and put it to my head"
"You wanted to kill yourself?"
"No I just do it for fun sometimes" Mark answered rolling his eyes.
George just smiled "Why didn't you?"
"Olivia"
"She kept you from doing it?"
"Yea…if I did do it…it would crush her, I couldn't let her hurt…I didn't want to be my father"
"What was your father like?"
"He killed my mother and then killed himself"
"Where were you when it happened?"
"Two feet away…witnessing the whole thing"
"What was going through your mind while you held that gun?"
Mark put two fingers to his temple like he was holding a gun "If only I could pull it…just one pull and it would be over…just finish what they started" He put his hand down and folded it on his stomach.
"But you didn't"
"My whole life flashed before my eyes…meeting Olivia...getting married, James's birth…the twins…All I could think of was the twins birth…I missed their birthday…they were celebrating their birthday while I was getting raped…what kind of man am I"
"What happened isn't your fault"
"You try getting raped by three guys and then having to go home and face your wife and kids, I bet you a hundred bucks you wont even get an erection.
George just chuckled "Your doing the sense of humor thing again"
"So with all the crap that goes on in the world why shouldn't I?"
"Did you talk to Olivia about what happened?"
"No, I have scars...scars from that knife…I can't face her without being ashamed of what happened to me"
"You should tell her"
"You tell her cause I cant do it again"
"She's your wife" George said smiling.
"You're my shrink" Mark said smirking a little bit as he played with his goatee. George just chuckled.
It was around 3 in the afternoon and Olivia and Elliot were having lunch at a diner.
"Hey doc" Elliot said when he saw George walk toward them. Olivia put her sandwich down and turned around to look at him knowing he had a session with Mark this morning.
"Hi, I need to talk to Olivia" George said as he sat down across her.
"I need to go see Warner anyway," Elliot said as he got off his chair and left.
"How did the session go?" Olivia asked looking at the doctor across from her.
"Better then yesterday, he finally opened up about what happened"
"What happened?"
"Um…he wanted me to tell you cause he said he couldn't talk about it again"
"What happened?" Olivia asked quickly in concern. She knew that Mark and her could talk about anything no matter what but if he couldn't tell her is must have been something very bad.
"Two weeks ago…he…um…he got gang raped"
Olivia just stared at him not wanting to believe it. Her eyes got watery and she felt completely numb. The man she always found so strong just went through the worst thing there is.
"What? Are you sure?" Olivia asked as she wiped her eyes before the tear ran down her cheek.
George just nodded "Three men"
"Oh my god" Olivia whispered as she covered her mouth.
"There's more" George added. Olivia looked up at him "He wanted to kill himself after it, he grabbed an officers gun and put it to his head…he got put on suicide watch the last two weeks"
Olivia just looked at him. Now it all made sense to her. Mark digging up his father's file. Worrying if he was his father. Getting startled every time she touched him. How could she not see the signs? His worst fear of being his father came to life when he put that gun to his head.
"Olivia the men that raped him cut three lines on his penis" George said in a low voice "That's why he was so distant from you…he doesn't consider himself a man after letting it happen…he is completely ashamed of it and what you will think of him"
"How could he even think about that?" Olivia put her hand on her forehead "What do I do?"
"He says the only reason he didn't pull the trigger was because of you…Olivia he needs you more now then ever in his life…if you can convince him that it doesn't matter and that you don't care what happened he will get over this way quicker. The only thing he cares about right now is what you think"
Olivia just nodded "Ok, thanks George. I have to go" She said putting some money on the table and grabbing her jacket and rushed out of the diner.
She came into the squad room and went straight to Cragen's office.
"Hey captain can I talk to you for a second?" She asked as she closed the door behind her.
"Of course" Cragen answered putting a paper that he was looking at on his table.
Olivia sat across him "I told you that Mark is back right?" Cragen just nodded "He's going through a lot right now and I really need to be there for him so I was wondering I if I can I have some time off?"
"Is he ok?" Cragen asked concerned.
"Just some stuff after being undercover"
"How much time you need?"
"A week?"
"Ok, no problem" Cragen said nodding "Your vacation starts in two minutes" He said smiling as he wrote things down on piece of paper.
"It's ok, I mean after today is fine I don't want to put you in a rough situation"
"It's fine Olivia, go home and take care of your family, I have plenty of people. Sandberg will be Elliot's partner for a week"
"Are you sure?" Olivia asked as she got up.
"Positive, go. I hope Mark feels better" Cragen said smirking with a small nod since Mark was like his own son.
"Ok, thanks captain" Olivia said with a grateful smile.
"No problem, call Elliot and Aaron in here for me"
Olivia nodded and left the office. "Elliot and Sandberg captain wants you in his office"
Elliot and Aaron both looked up. Olivia grabbed some stuff from her table
Elliot got off his chair and saw that she was getting ready to go home "What's going on?"
"I'm taking some time off, Sandberg will be your partner" Olivia answered as she went to her locker. Elliot went over to her.
"You ok?" Elliot asked in a low voice.
"Yea, I just need to be with Mark right now" Olivia answered in a low voice as she closed her locker. Elliot nodded and went to Cragen's office. Olivia left the squad room and quickly went home to be with her husband.
She got home and could hear Mark throwing up in the bathroom. She quickly opened the door. He was by the toilet throwing up.
"Baby?" Olivia whispered putting her hand on his back. "Are you ok?" she asked as she turned on the water for him.
Mark said nothing and put his face under the water and kept it there. Olivia just stroked his hair and handed him a towel. He took it and wiped his face. He started wobbling around and almost fell down.
Olivia quickly grabbed him "I got you, its ok" she whispered wrapping her arm around his waist and leading him to the bedroom. "Come on, lye down" she whispered slowly letting him sit on the bed.
Mark rubbed his face and lay down in bed hating the way the pills were making him feel. "What are you doing home?"
"I took a week off," Olivia answered as she laid down next him and held him in her arms.
"Why? Are you ok?" Mark asked turning around to look at her.
Olivia just smiled thinking how he could think of her after what he had been through "I'm fine baby"
"Oh, then why did you take time off?"
"Because of you" She whispered stroking his hair.
Mark just looked at her for a while "Huang told you?"
"Yea" Olivia whispered as her eyes got watery. Mark said nothing and just turned to the other side and stared at the wall. Olivia wrapped her arms around him and rested her chin on his shoulder. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I couldn't tell you to your face, it would have been too hard" Mark whispered as his eyes got watery.
"Baby you can tell me anything" Olivia whispered kissing his cheek.
"I just couldn't, I mean what would you think of me"
"Nothing different. You are still the man I fell in love with."
"I got raped Olivia, its not the same as it was"
"You are still the same man that I fell in love with the moment I met. You should have talked to me about this"
"And tell you what? Hi baby I got gang raped by three men, I have scars where they cut me. How was your day? C'mon I just couldn't do it"
"I understand sweetheart but I want us to be able to talk" Olivia said as she stroked his hair.
"I know" Mark said nodding still staring at the wall.
"Why did you put a gun to your head?" Olivia asked as a tear rolled down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away.
"I couldn't handle it, I was scared of what you would think of me. You deal with victims everyday and I couldn't let you deal with your husband as a victim," Mark answered quietly as a tear rolled down his cheek.
Olivia turned him around and hugged him "You are my husband. Why would you even think I would think of you differently? I love you no matter what"
"I just couldn't do it, I needed you but I couldn't get to you. I tried to fight I really did" Mark whispered as he started crying and wrapped his arms around her.
"Ssshh its ok, I'm here now," Olivia whispered as tears rolled down her face and she held him as he sobbed.
"I want you to know that I tried to get free, I really did Olivia"
"There isn't a doubt in my mind that you didn't. I know you did baby"
"I can't lose you" Mark choked out as he cried into her chest.
"You wont lose me. Why would you think you would lose me?" Olivia asked confused as she stroked his hair.
"Because I'm my father…first I want to kill myself and then yesterday I hurt you"
"You didn't want to hurt me, I scared you and you got startled, it wasn't your fault" Olivia said kissing his head. "None of it is your fault"
They heard a knock on the door.
"Just a minute" Olivia called out.
"It's Casey I just came by to see Mark" They heard Casey's voice on the other side of the door.
"We'll be right out Case" Olivia called out.
"Jeez you have a guest do your thing later tonight" Casey called back.
Mark just chuckled. Olivia smiled hearing his laugh. She wiped his tears away. "You going to be ok for tonight?"
"Yea, I'm going to go get cleaned up, I'll be back" Mark said as he gave her a kiss and got up and went to the bathroom in their room.
Olivia wiped her eyes and let out a deep breath. Mark came out of the bathroom a couple of minutes later.
"Do I look ok?" He asked pointing to his ready eyes.
"Very ok," Olivia answered putting her hands on his waist and gave him a kiss "By the way I really love that goatee, makes you look extremely sexy"
"Thanks" Mark answered smirking a little. Olivia smiled and gave him a kiss and took his hand and led him to the door. Mark pulled her back.
"I love you" He whispered looking at her.
Olivia wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled "I love you too"
"Lets go before Casey has a heart attack" Mark said smirking as he wrapped his arm around her waist and led her to the door.
They went out of the room and Casey was sitting with the twins in the kitchen.
"Found new friends?" Mark teased looking at Casey.
Casey looked up and smiled "You have a goatee how cute" She teased as she got off the chair and on purpose touched it. Mark just jerked his head away. Casey grinned and gave him a hug.
"You miss me?" Mark asked smiling.
"No, not really" Casey teased smirking.
"Then let me breath" Mark teased. Casey laughed and let go of him.
"Why are your eyes all red?" Casey asked looking at him.
"I was sleeping." Mark answered. Casey looked at him and then Olivia and just nodded smirking. "I was" Mark defended.
"Sure you were, two months away and you sleep, whatever buddy" Casey teased as she sat down next to the twins. Olivia and Mark just rolled their eyes at their friend.
Mark sat down and tickled Mike. Both of the twins jumped on him playfully. Olivia just smiled watching them. He would be all right. He was home. Everyone would be all right now.