A/N:
Hello my dear readers, I hope you are all well and safe. I have read all of your panicked messages and therefore I bring you an early update to soothe your troubles a bit.
I will start by saying; fear not, you are in good hands ^_^ this story's entire outline had already been carefully planned, and it will continue on its devised route regardless of the unwarranted sequel and its contents. Since I've heard Rumiko Takahashi had no further involvement with it other than providing the designs for the characters - I shall treat it just like another one of the non-canon movies.
With that said, please enjoy!
Chapter Thirty-Nine
"Nostalgic, is it not?" Kikyo's calm voice cut into the tense air, "Both of us sitting down to talk like this."
Staring at the woman beside him, Inuyasha exhaled deeply.
"Yeah..." He agreed, turning his gaze back to the vast sky.
Silent, they welcomed in the tranquillity of the scene before them, the warm wind against their faces and in their long hair, the softness of the grassy hill under the weight of their forms and the horizon painted with the late afternoon orangey tint of the sun passing its halfway point, all of it managing to reel their memories back into a distant time, one that they had spent together in a village just like the one they were currently in, on a hill veiled with grass just as the one they were presently occupying;
A recollection that they both shared, almost fifty-one years ago, in a past that seemed nothing short of centuries ago to them, now.
And as if accessing to her only by the mirror of the experience repeating before her very eyes... at that moment, Kikyo filled with the understanding that there was truly no right words to use, no polished way to discuss this troublesome subject with her old lover, no other timing more fitting for their talk than this very moment.
With that, the priestess breathed the freshness in the air, letting it fill her false lungs.
"Inuyasha." Kikyo eventually began, closing her eyes, "I have done some thinking during this time apart... attempting to piece together answers to new questions that rose in me every day."
Turning to look at her, Inuyasha only listened.
"And in my iron-clad, set beliefs, I initially refused to accept those answers that I eventually found... as well as the meaning they would carry should I truly welcome them, about myself, about you, about what I had known to be real my entire life prior to that terrible day in which we were so violently torn apart from each other..."
"And now...?" He asked, prompting the woman to open her eyes once more.
Then, Kikyo met his earnest gaze.
"Now, I cannot bring myself to deny them and the full extent of their meaning any longer." She said, smiling sadly.
Staring at her in silence, Inuyasha only released a deep breath.
"Keh." He spat, throwing his gaze forward, "I don't need ya to tell me you truly love that asshole. It's written all over your face for so long already, even Kagome noticed it."
Hearing that, Kikyo slightly tilted her head to the side.
'That time, huh.' She guessed, recalling the particular night in which the young priestess had requested her company, how the girl seemed to realize something along the very end of their private conversation, yet did not care to share it.
And she eased her shoulders with quiet understanding.
"That girl, Kagome..." Kikyo said, her eyes still set on his profile, "You love her deeply, do you not?"
Inuyasha stiffened to the bold inquiry, blinking as the blush climbed through his face below the white patches sticking to his skin, and he could only raise a balled hand to fiercely clear his throat into.
"...I guess." He reluctantly answered, unable to meet her keen eyes.
But as the silence grew heavy between them, his startled features shortly softened, and the half-demon lifted a sole clawed hand to scratch his silvery head.
"Kagome... understands me." He said, golden orbs set aside still, "She knows me, for my bad parts and good parts, and she accepts 'em all... she's always there for me no matter what, and she wants me to be happy as I am." With that, he chuckled bitterly, "I thought she was fuckin' full of it at first, I thought that no damn way someone so different like her wouldn't run away once she witnessed my worst... but I was proven wrong... and before I even noticed I was suddenly surrounded by people, by real friends."
Hearing his honest words, Kikyo smiled with ease.
"I am happy for you, Inuyasha." She admitted. Words that she never thought would leave her lips in the context of the relationship between him and that girl, now managed to depart from her with no effort at all, with not even a single trace of bitterness whatsoever, "You have found yourself someone who you can fully trust, now."
But his dark eyebrows quickly lowered into a confused frown in response to her words.
"I... trusted you too, Kikyo… I –"
"It is rather clear now, is it not?" She steadily cut into his words with a measured tone, breaking from his gaze to set it upwards to the endless, orange sky, "What weight trust really carries... what it truly means."
Staring at her through a stern expression, Inuyasha's jaw clenched.
"What... are ya sayin', Kikyo?" He asked.
And she kept her silence for a moment longer, listening to the breeze as it rattled through the tops of the trees above their heads.
There, as if camouflaged beyond those green layers of leaves, were a string of words that the priestess kept hidden, buried well into the very back of her mind and memory; a certain question that she previously couldn't bring herself to even touch upon... until now.
"Have you ever thought about that incident, Inuyasha?" Kikyo eventually tested, "That day in which Naraku took your form before me while doing the same before you, tricking us both into thinking we have betrayed one another?"
Swallowing the lump in his throat, Inuyasha tore from her, gold lowering to the grassy earth before his bare feet as he allowed the priestess to further voice out what he could not.
"Confused and blinded by the circumstances, we have doubted each other until the end, until the very last second." She said, exhaling deeply to the harsh memory, "Tell me, at that time when Kagome was possessed by the powers of the dark miko, Tsubaki... did you find yourself doubting her for even a single moment?"
The half-demon processed her question for a long while, eventually raising his head and meeting her gaze once more.
And the look reflected in his clear gold was enough to compensate for his lengthy silence before her.
Letting out an amused breath to his honest and expected reaction, Kikyo kept her smile.
"We both fell into the same trap way before that of Naraku, I'm afraid." She explained, watching him.
"...Whadd'ya mean?" Inuyasha asked.
Kikyo allowed herself a moment to study his features before she answered him, letting her eyes rest upon the familiar face which she knew all those years ago, the once alienating and wild presence that he carried, now seeming so impossibly different before her, so honest and accessible, instead.
The pristine marble floor clicked under their heels as Sesshomaru, Kohaku, Rin, Jaken and A-Un climbed up the pale, vast staircase, soldiers of the estate positioned to their right and left, stilled to perfection in their heavy armors and weapons drawn, held idly at their sides. Curious, Rin observed the men to see if perhaps one would catch her interested gaze, yet they did not stir, not even to brush a hair away or scratch an itch, remaining frozen like stone in their place, dutifully watching the endless, cloudy horizon for any upcoming movement that could potentially threaten the peace of their guarded palace.
Once they reached the very top of the structure, the group came into a graduate stop as the wide grounds of royal court spread before their eyes, the inner parts of the seemingly deserted estate obscured by the residue of clouds drifting over the pale floor, the sound of water spilling from a distant, unseen pond echoing through the cold, mystifying air.
Yet, despite the immaculate, fine beauty of the area, there was also somewhat of a deafening emptiness to it... a certain, haunting lack that could not be explained, causing a chill to shoot up the imp-demon's spine.
'This is where Sesshomaru-sama had spent his youthful years at?' He couldn't help but wonder to himself, swallowing harshly.
However, before he could even take in the full vastness of the place, the thick clouds soon glided away from them, revealing none other than his master's mother, sitting regally atop of a round, beautifully-carved throne made of ivory and plated with gold, embedded with expensive fabrics of red and purple.
"Well." Inukimi breathed, her voice cutting through the chilled silence, "One look at you is enough to tell how in love you are, my son."
Kohaku, Rin and Jaken all stared wide eyed at the demoness and her brazen words.
Sesshomaru, however, only cleared his throat as his jaw set with irritation.
"I did not come here for your dull teasing." He immediately notified, gold narrowing at his sitting mother, "Tenseiga's method of opening the Meidou... surely, you have heard about it from father."
Hearing that, the noblewoman released a mocking breath.
"Perhaps..." Inukimi replied through a bored tone, "However, if you wish to receive that information, is it not only fair of you to entertain your mother's questions as well, Sesshomaru?"
Exhaling deeply, he raised his chin before her.
"What do you want to know." Sesshomaru reluctantly obliged.
And purple-colored lips curled up into a satisfied smile.
"About this mysterious woman of yours, of course." She said, watching him closely, "I have heard so much from scarce gossip carried in the air, now that you are before me, I can finally confirm it... tell me, is it true that she is no other than the old lover of Inuyasha; your half-brother whom you despise so much? Are you truly fine with a heart that was already given to someone like him, once before?"
Jaken winced where he stood as if every syllable was the edge of a sword stabbing into his limbs, his small shoulders tensing high with rising fear.
He did not dare to look up at his master's angered expression, for he could already feel his youki spiking with deadly intent, reaching to hover all around them as it fiercely dominated the crisp air.
Yet and against any prediction he carried, Sesshomaru's following words struck all listeners with surprise;
A secret and private conclusion that the daiyoukai had reached long ago, already.
"That woman had indeed known Inuyasha in the past, however, make no mistake..." Sesshomaru cautioned, his anger gradually subsiding along with the rest of his definite answer, "She gave her heart to no one."
"T-That's not true, Kikyo...!" Inuyasha frowned, hurt clear on his face, "Are ya really gonna sit there and tell me we both lied to each other about what we felt?!"
Kikyo shook her head to his outburst, remaining calm before him.
"Saying we lied to each other would not do the explanation justice, Inuyasha." She said, voice steady, "Being denied of love will make you build a need for that first sign of affection you receive, making you think that love is real, when in reality, it might not be."
"I can't accept that..." He tore from her almost immediately, clawed fingers balling into a tight fist, his vision passionately aimed at the distance before him, "Maybe you can, but I know what I felt for you... what I still feel."
"Inuyasha..." Kikyo pleaded through a soft voice, more to bring him back than anything else.
And he soon breathed to calm himself down, eventually regaining his composure before her.
"Ya really believe that?" Inuyasha muttered, reluctantly allowing the possibility into his mind.
Pleased with his patience and will to comprehend her point of view, Kikyo's lips curved into a reassuring smile.
"You and Kagome are similar." She observed, "That is why I believe you could trust her so easily. You were most likely able to trust her from the very first day you had met her, even when you could not realize it just yet, yourself."
Hearing that, he brought his gaze up to lock with hers, yet again.
And Kikyo could tell her words struck a certain thread of truth deep within him.
"There are certain parts in Kagome that offer you an opportunity to enter, explore, and fulfil ideas of who you are and who you can be, Inuyasha." The priestess explained, watching him, "That is what makes your bond so strong."
The wind blew through their open area, caressing their features as it rustled through the grassy earth surrounding their spot with a soft, low and steady whisper, as if adding further weight to the veracity in her words.
One that the half-demon could not deny.
"So, what the hell does all of this mean, huh...?" Inuyasha sighed, defeated, "That we were both idiots, you and I?"
Kikyo chuckled lightly in response.
"No, we were not idiots." She decided, turning to the now reddened clouds, watching as the light from the setting sun casted upon their grand and soft dimensions, "Just inexperienced... we fancied what we believed was good for us, without knowing who we were nor what we truly wanted."
"And someone like Sesshomaru is what's good for ya, now?" He scoffed, tone skeptic.
But Kikyo only lowered her head to his sharp contempt, calm mahogany eyes settling on the way the grass swayed according to the breeze's wishes before her.
"I was never a mere human."
Her own words whispered in her ear, yet again. An assertion she voiced simply to make a point in an old argument with a certain inu-daiyoukai, now never failed to haunt her subconscious and further nurture a single, very concrete conclusion in her mind.
Like that, Kikyo maintained her charged gaze downwards on the harmony of nature before her.
"All of my life raised as a holy miko, I had grown to believe that all youkai were violent, instinct-driven animals equipped with nothing but the will to get stronger, no matter what that goal may cost them." She eventually began, shoulders easing further, "For them, I thought that there was no need for either empathy or pity when hunting their prey, that they were certainly unable to show any regard for human life... and supported by that assumption, I had led myself to believe that I was far above them."
Sitting idly by her side, Inuyasha listened to her words carefully.
"Then, when you and I met, I related to your struggle to belong." She admitted, breathing the now chilled air, "And since you were a half-youkai, I excused my feelings for you as a result of your human side shining brighter than your youkai one... but I was entirely blind." Biting her lower lip, she paused before the next words departed from her mouth, "Back then, my prejudice pushed me into nearly not seeing your side at all, turning you into a concept in my mind... a beautiful one, though."
Inuyasha chuckled bitterly.
"I really did wanna be with you back then, Kikyo."
Hearing that, the priestess nodded.
"As did I," She promised, still not facing him, "However, the me who you remember from back then... is also nothing but a concept, now." The more she spoke, the more Inuyasha's eyebrows lowered into a troubled frown, "I never properly told you of the things I've done since the day of my resurrection, have I?"
Blinking with sudden unease, he only shook his head.
"I'm afraid that I am hardly as pure and saintly as you once knew me to be." Kikyo closed her eyes, "I have lied and deceived, fed on dead souls in order to survive, and I have even killed a human priest who attempted to save my soul, unintentionally subjecting a child to that horrible sight, as well. So far from where I once started, I thought that I was entirely alone and unable to relate to anyone in my cursed condition..."
"Kikyo..." Inuyasha could only utter her name, shock veiling his expression.
And hearing the confirmed disbelief in his voice, the priestess only released an amused breath.
"Then, I met Sesshomaru." Kikyo continued, inhaling deeply, "And contrary to what I had believed was even possible, I managed to trust, relate and find my better self in him, a full-fledged youkai, more than I did with any human before in my entire life, forcing me to question everything I grew to know, everything that I am." Exhaling along with every word, she found his gaze once more, "Ultimately, it made me realize that I do not regret the choices I've made... and that they were all necessary in order for me to reach where I am, now."
Silent, the half-demon observed her beautiful features washed by the setting sun, applying everything she said onto her contrasting being.
Then, Inuyasha finally detached from her presence, setting his gaze into an unfocused, far spot.
"You seem certain of that, Sesshomaru." The noblewoman determined, her eyes burning into him, "Has the woman given you enough evidence to support that claim?"
Gaze turning sharp, Sesshomaru only kept her fierce eye-contact.
"That is for me to know." He answered, tone even.
Chuckling to his defiance, Inukimi raised her chin before him, her expression still a mix of unreadable amusement.
"Well, knowing you, my boy, I trust you carry a reason to even consider this bond in the first place." She said, watching him closely, "In that regard, you are very much like your father."
However, despite the sudden compliment, Sesshomaru soon frowned with confusion to her odd choice of words.
And he quietly lowered his head, watching his mother closely.
"Explain." He demanded.
And as if pleased by him stepping into precisely where she wanted him, the female daiyoukai's smirk only grew.
"Your father did not pick that human, Izayoi, for no reason, Sesshomaru."
Sesshomaru's eyes narrowed to the information, and he only kept his silence.
"It was because Izayoi was a dignified, human princess with powerful influence on her kind. He wished to ultimately bridge human and youkai in somewhat of a harmonized cooperation, something that they both hoped to inspire each in their respective species." She further explained, proceeding to shortly release a mocking breath of dark cynicism, "A noble cause, really. However, look at where he is now because of it."
Processing the sudden, unforeseen knowledge, Sesshomaru swallowed harshly.
"I have never heard of this." He quickly retorted, ridding his expression from the mild shock.
Inukimi snorted with amusement.
"You never asked." She easily countered, calm as windless waters, "In fact, anything related to the topic of his little romance with that human princess of his was something you avoided like the plague, my dear son."
The ruler observed him for the longest time as the daiyoukai held his vague quiet, stilled to cold perfection before her.
However, his trained disposition was hardly enough to prevent her from voicing her following thoughts;
"Why would he waste his time on a vision of that nature, is what you are wondering?" She guessed, gaze sharp as a knife.
Hearing her accurate assumption, Sesshomaru maintained his silence, but the look in his eyes was more than telling enough for his wise mother to read him with little to no effort at all.
"Live for as long as your father did, and you will understand." She simply replied.
With that addition thrown into the cold air, neither spoke another word for a stretched moment, allowing all of the new information to settle into the space and the minds of every individual present.
And once she deemed it enough, the female daiyoukai's expression flashed with intent as her colored lips once again curled up into a sly smile.
"Enough chatter, now." She declared, "You came here to inquire on how to further unlock the fighting Tenseiga's abilities, have you not?"
Collecting himself into focus before her, Sesshomaru straightened in his spot.
Then, Inukimi's golden vision narrowed with interest.
"Let us get started, then." She said.
Lifting her fair hands to the large, pearly necklace hanging on her neck, Inukimi cradled the dark-colored stone in her palms, the jewel suddenly flashing with a blinding light that caused Rin, Kohaku and Jaken to shield their eyes from the sight and exclaim with surprise. And just like that, a colossal being took the form of a vicious hound and materialized before them, prompting both of the children to quickly step back in fear, away from the occurrence.
Sesshomaru's jaw clenched as he grounded himself, immediately drawing out his Tenseiga and sending his newest attack at his enemy.
However, the Meidou Zangetsuha's quarter moon proved completely ineffective against it, making his golden eyes widen.
"So this is the current size of your Meidou, huh..." Inukimi observed, placing her chin on the back of her palm, "Well, I suppose it is fitting in relation to recent events."
"Wha?!" Jaken soon called with shock, "Sesshomaru-sama's sword did not cut it...?!"
Presenting them both with a bored expression, the female daiyoukai only sighed.
"That is a hell-hound." She explained dryly, "Sesshomaru, no matter what you do, your sword will not injure nor heal it."
And before he could even dwell on the thought, the dark being charged forward once more...
Only to swerve around Sesshomaru's position and reach behind where he stood, opening its sharp mouth to swallow both Kohaku and Rin in an instant as it proceeded to fly into the gash conveniently formed for him by no other than his opponent, right into the world of the dead.
With no time to waste, Sesshomaru clicked his tongue and gave chase, darting right after the cursed being holding onto his two human companions.
Then, the portal closed shut behind him, vanishing as if it were never there in the first place.
Yellow eyes bulged out of his green skull once Jaken wrapped his mind around the fact that he was now left completely alone, his mouth gaping open with utmost fear while his limbs began to violently shake as a result of the dreadful understanding.
"S-Sesshomaru-sama…!" He croaked with pure panic, cowering into himself.
Then, his expression crossed with pure frustration as small tears shortly formed in the corners of his round orbs.
"Ohhhh! just where is that human miko at a crucial time such as this?!" He shrieked with distress.
The female daiyoukai watched with indifference as the small imp hurriedly turned to A-Un waiting patiently on the edge of the terrace to frantically pull on its dark straps in order to force him back to his scaled feet.
"O-Off you go!" Jaken stammered with urgency, using his wooden staff to point into the far distance of the land, "Find that woman and bring her over here, right now!"
"So that's how it really is, huh..." Inuyasha sighed.
For a long while like that, the half-demon and the priestess let the far noises of the nearby village to settle through their shared space, compensating for their lengthy quiet.
Meekness, was not something she had ever known her old lover to possess, and still, at that moment, Kikyo found his being from the corner of her eye, observing his quiet profile for the longest time as she allowed her mind to run and fill with countless contemplations about him.
Was it disappointment, that now plagued him after being exposed to the true colors of her heart?
Perhaps sadness, that the priestess he thought he knew so well proved to be so different than the fair concept he allowed himself to cling to for all this time?
And despite her morbid curiosity, Kikyo kept her prolong silence, resolving not to ask him about it, feeling as if certain knowledge was better left unknown; cast off to the lands of infinite possibilities and away from the chained limits of factuality, in order to allow her the option of holding onto their old shared memories and the innocent times they spent together without the new sentiments that could now possibly taint them... selfish as it may be.
There was, however, something else the priestess knew that still required addressing.
"There is... one thing that I would like to apologize to you for, Inuyasha." Kikyo ultimately said, her attention returning to the dusk as it began ebbing its way into the sky above them.
"What is it?" Inuyasha answered, turning to her.
Breathing out the heaviness from within her, Kikyo slowly lowered her head, straight-cut bangs casting a shadow over her eyes.
"Right after my resurrection... I had told you something quite awful." She continued through a steady voice, "Something that I'm sure you were unable to forget."
There was no need for her to find his gaze, as the way in which Inuyasha stilled beside her was more than enough for her to know that the sentence was now ringing in his ears once more, called forth to torment him for the very last time.
"As long as you live, Inuyasha, I cannot rest!"
And he swallowed harshly to the sights, the sounds and the scents that all accompanied the recollection from that very day in which his old lover was resurrected before him, pain and hurt and grief all ripping through her expression and blood spilling from her wounds, staining her fair and delicate hands.
"Those harsh and unfair words spoken in the height of my despair, managed to easily bind your heart and mind to me for all eternity... beads of subjugation of my own, you might say." She explained.
Then, Kikyo finally turned to face him, empathy clear in the deepest shade of her brown.
"I now wish to take those back, and release you from that heavy burden, from that commitment." Kikyo concluded, allowing herself to smile with honesty, "I want you to allow yourself to love Kagome with all of your heart, Inuyasha, and without any feelings of guilt nor regret."
Wordlessly observing her, Inuyasha withheld from answering.
"Ya really see me as so simple, huh? That I'd be able to just let go of ya so easily like that?" He eventually asked, narrowing his golden eyes with displeasure.
But the priestess only shook her head before him.
"No, your unwavering loyalty is your greatest virtue, Inuyasha." She answered, "That is why... I am now the one asking you to let me go." With that, Kikyo reached out a single, fair hand and placed it gently on his arm, "In order for you to live as freely as you deserve, to find your own freedom as I did... I am now releasing you from those shackles of duty."
Unable to say anything more to that, Inuyasha only stared at her.
But a sudden sharp and unmistakable reading soon tore into their calm exchange, causing both the half-demon and the priestess to part from each other and quickly rise to their feet, their gazes darting to the sight of A-Un hurriedly landing before them on the top of the grassy hill.
Kikyo's eyebrows lowered into a troubled frown as she stepped towards the two-headed dragon, a heavy, foreboding feeling easily spreading in the pit of her stomach to how utterly stressed the scaled beast was behaving.
'Sesshomaru...' He immediately rose in her thoughts.
Something was unquestionably wrong, and there was no time to waste.
Clenching her fists, Kikyo quickly picked up her discarded bow from the grass, turning to the confused Inuyasha standing behind her for the last time.
"I must leave, Inuyasha." She notified him.
The half-demon watched her as she climbed onto the dark-colored saddle of the youkai, seizing its leather reins, her expression stern.
Eventually, he only drew in a deep breath.
"Kikyo... make sure that I'll at least see ya again."
And once his words reached her, the priestess' set features softened as she only nodded, presenting him with another one of her genuine smiles.
"We still have an old enemy to destroy." She steadily promised.
Then, Kikyo lightly pulled on A-Un's reigns, signalling her companion to finally depart and ascend with a smooth motion into the early evening sky, taking her away to the new destination.
A/N:
The InuKik relationship with its beautiful complexity, is something that I wished to explore for the longest time; to test it, write it out and draw my own conclusions from it. Since before I had even started this story, I believed that they both deserved to sit and have a proper talk between them, to tie in the loose ends and come to certain realizations regarding their past, for better or for worse.
However, I also knew that in order for this talk to be truly fruitful, Kikyo would need someone to expose her errors to her, to allow her a chance to examine her previous actions from another perspective so she could truly acknowledge them... and that keen perspective, in my opinion, could have been granted to our lovely and yet proud priestess by none other than Sesshomaru; a man who she truly values as her equal.