A/N: This is the band parody to end all band parodies.
xThis Is Drive Shaftx
A tall skinny man wearing large sunglasses snaps his gum in an empty parking lot somewhere in Europe. We know this is Liam, and we know he's somewhere in Europe because there's a giant map on a billboard that has a red dot on it which says: YOU ARE SOMEWHERE IN EUROPE.
"It's going to be here soon, isn't it?" Murdoc asks as she and her camera crew comes out of a van.
"Any minute…" Liam says, looking down the road. "He probably just got off his lunch break. Yep. There he is."
Liam points at a large bus coming down the road with a giant British flag on the sides.
"Wait…" Murdoc says, squinting at the gigantic bus. "I've seen that bus."
"Yep, ever heard of the Spice Girls?" Liam grins, snapping his gum loudly.
The camera crew shuffles around nervously. These are the same guys that wore Members Only jackets in the eighties.
"Why don't you give us a tour?" Murdoc asks.
"Why don't I?" Liam smiles, rolls his eyes, and knocks on the door. The door opens and Meat Loaf is sitting in the driver's seat, and he happens to be wearing a Members Only jacket.
"MEAT LOAF!" Murdoc screeches, running up to the driver's seat with her arms open wide. Meat Loaf stares open mouthed in horror as Murdoc clings to him, making an "eeee" Mini Me noise.
"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee."
Liam scratches his head and stares at Murdoc, who is still clinging, and Meatloaf, who is patting the shoulder of Murdoc and trying to pick her off.
"Yes, we're men," Murdoc says. "Men is what we are."
"Get off."
Liam takes Murdoc's shoulders and leads her away from M.L.
"Your bus driver is Meat Loaf," she says dreamily.
"Yeah, he came with the bus."
( Ten Minutes Later )
"So, this is our tour bus," Liam looks around uncertainly.
The bus is a double decker, which has a staircase leading up and a pole going down in the middle of the large room.
"Gee, I didn't think it would be this big from outside," Murdoc says, looking around.
"Almost unreal, right?"
There's an awkward pause.
"It's so… colorful."
"Yeah, we're going to paint it gray, I don't think I could be in here with so many neon colors, I'll go blind.
"Totally."
Liam goes up the stairs and indicates the camera crew to wait.
"There's only one room up here," his voice carries. "But it's locked, we can't go in there. And this was here when we got the bus."
He brings down a box and puts it on the table next to the fuzzy pink couch.
"Lookee, lookee," he pulls out a boot with two foot long heels. "And that's not all."
He pulls out more outrageous shoes. The two crew members grab shoes and start playing catch. Soon, Meat Loaf joins in and the five of them play catch, until it abruptly ends when a boot hits the sound guy's nose.
"My nose!" he squeals in pain.
"Oh, come on, Alden," Murdoc snaps. "Be a man."
"Do you guys hear something?" Liam asks.
They all pause, and sure enough, there's a strange ticking noise.
"Where's it coming from?"
Meat Loaf indicates them all to be quiet and walks around the room. He stops at the shoe box.
"In here," he mouths the words and points to the box.
"Well, see what it is," Liam says earnestly.
Meat Loaf opens the box cautiously. He slowly takes out the rest of the shoes, and his eyes widen as he looks at the mysterious item.
"It's a bomb!" he whispers loudly.
"Why are we whispering?" Murdoc asks.
They all exchange glances and scream all at once. The scream doesn't really have any emotion in it, and it drags on for two minutes.
"What are we going to do?" Liam yells.
"I know!" Murdoc says. "We can't drive any slower than 60 miles per hour or else-"
"That was Speed, you idiot."
"Well, what do YOU suggest, movie man!"
They all hear the creak of a door opening. They look up, and a very beaten up Edward Norton is looking down at them from the top of the stairs.
Murdoc gasps.
"I love you, too!"
Meatloaf grabs Murdoc's jacket before she can run up the stairs.
"Can you help us, Mr. Norton?" Liam says, grimacing at how completely stupid and childlike that sounded.
"Maybe," Edward says, and walks past them toward the box. He leans down and fiddles with the wires.
"You don't know which wire to pull," he says.
"I know everything you do, so if you know I know," he answers back.
The others look at each other, confused. Liam starts walking backward toward the exit.
"Or maybe, since I knew you'd know, I spent all day thinking about the wrong wires."
Edward paused. The camera crew started to quietly pick up their equipment and followed Liam.
Edward grimaced as he pulled out a green wire. Nothing happened.
"Damn it," Edward said. He looked up, only to see the bus empty. "Damn it!"
Edward casually opens the door and flings himself out of it.
A/N: Yes, that was probably very stupid and pointless. I don't own Spice Girls, their bus, Meat Loaf, or Edward Norton. Although I do own one of those shoes. It's in a glass case in my basement lined with poison.