A/N: The REAL accounts. Of a FAKE band.

xThis Is Drive Shaftx

(Columbus, Ohio)

"Well, we don't have any shows today, so you can relax and all that," Ted says. He looks around. The bus is empty.

"We can?" Charlie says.

Ted looks down. Everyone is on the ground playing Twister. They all fall down.

"Are you going to play Twister all day?" Ted asks.

"Well, we've already finished Stratego, Clue, and Guess Who," Jeremy says.

"Of course, we can't play Battleship anymore…" Charlie says, looking at Patrick.

"Well, why don't you go out and do something?"

"Do what?"

(At Airport)

"Are you going to tell us what the bank was about NOW?" Kenny asks as the camera crew and Dean wait to get their bags checked.

"Fine," Dean sighs. "Oen left me some money in his will."

"He did?" Cozy asks. "He didn't know you that long, did he?"

"Yeah, well… Oen liked going over his will ever couple of weeks."

"Very optimistic man, I bet," Cozy says. "Well, how much did he leave you?"

Dean looks out the window.

"Uh...Hundredortehnmindollars," Dean mutters.

"What?"

"Hundred fourteen million dollars."

"What!"

"I said, 114 mill-"

"I heard you, I heard you! That was just me expressing surprise."

"Oh."

"He gave you 114 million? Geez, he must've been loaded," Kenny says.

"It was everything he had."

"Whoa."

"I'm going to give some of it to Murdoc. You know, to help with the movie."

"You are?"

"Yeah. She only wants six hundred, she's really cheap."

"We know."

(Flight From Vermont to Ohio)

A toy plane in front of a blue wall is held up by a string. A kitten swipes at the plane.

(Columbus, Ohio)

Everyone is just sitting in the bus, standing around and doing random things in awkward silence. Charlie is making coffee. The rest of the band is sitting on the couch reading magazines. Sinjin is lazily flipping through his. Patrick is holding his magazine upside down. Liam keeps holding his magazine really close to his face, then holding it a good two feet from his face, with the same confused look on his face every time.

"That's it, Liam. I'm taking you to get your eyes checked," Murdoc says.

Liam lets out a yelp and drops his magazine. Sinjin looks up and tosses his on the table. Patrick hurls it behind him and it hits Charlie, who spills coffee all over himself.

"I don't need to get my eyes checked, I can see fine," Liam says over Charlie screams.

"Oh, don't be ridiculous. You're practically blind," Murdoc snaps.

"For your information, I can see as good as I need to."

"That doesn't even make sense! Wait… Are you afraid?"

"Of course not," Liam says in a nervous tone. "Why would I be afraid?"

"I don't know, but only an absolute moron would be afraid to go to an optometrist."

"I just don't want to get glasses!"

"And why not?"

"Because I just don't wear glasses!" Liam yells. "I'm a rock god! Rock gods don't wear glasses! Do you see how many black shirts I own? People like me don't wear glasses."

Liam and Murdoc glare at each other.

"And Charlie's okay, too," Charlie says.

(A Few Hours Later)

Murdoc, Liam, and Charlie are sitting in the waiting room of an optometrist's office. Liam is sitting in a chair, drumming his fingers on the arms of his chair. Charlie is sitting in the chair across from him, doing the same. Murdoc's eye is twitching, and she keeps looking from Liam's fingers to Charlie's fingers. A phone rings. Murdoc jumps. The woman behind the desk is talking on the phone.

"Um, is there a… Murdoc in here?" the woman asks.

Murdoc looks around the empty waiting room.

"Uh, that'd be me," she says.

The woman holds out the phone. Murdoc takes it.

"Hello?"

"Murdoc, you've got to get a cell phone or something."

"Dean? Honestly, how do you keep finding me?"

"Never mind, Murdoc. I've got that thing I was telling you about," Dean says.

"What thing? The check from the bank?"

"Yeah, I- Hey, I didn't tell you that!"

"What, you expect the camera guys to keep a secret? But, seriously, I really appreciate it, Dean."

"Well, there is one thing…"

"What?"

"Well, Oen's parents aren't really keen on the idea of me taking all his money…"

"Well, you can't blame them, Dean."

"That's just it. They hired some guy to find some background info on me, and…he did."

"He found out more bad stuff about you then what I already know?"

"Yeah, I guess he did. They're sending some guy from the bank to follow me around for a few weeks."

Murdoc stares at the wall for a few seconds.

"Then stay out of trouble, then. I guess, stay away from us."

"That's the other thing…"

"What other thing? You said there was only one thing!"

"Well, it leads into another thing. It's all one thing, but it's quite a long thing."

"What? That's defying the laws of things!"

"Will you let me tell you what it is?"

"Fine."

"They found out I'm going to invest in your movie, so that guy from the bank is going to follow us around."

"What? Why?"

"They want to make sure I'm not spending the money on something illegal."

"Well, you're not."

"Or spending the money on a documentary where illegal things are happening."

"Damn. Got me there."

"Yeah, well, I'm picking you up. You have to sign some contract or something."

"I hate you."

"I know," Dean sighs.

(An Hour Later)

Charlie is sitting alone in the waiting room.

"You know, Liam's always had a problem seeing. Always. He wore glasses as a little kid, but he got teased a lot. Yeah… One day, he just took them off, never put them back on."

"Liam used to wear glasses?" Kenny asks.

"Oh, sure," Charlie says. "The minute he had trouble reading signs and such, Mum got him glasses."

He sighed loudly.

"Liam always got everything. Everything I owned used to belong to Liam. He was Mum's favorite."

"I'm sure that's not true," Kenny says.

"No, it is," Charlie says. "You know, they only had me because Liam needed that kidney. It's what Mum used to write in my birthday card every year."

A door opens and Charlie stands up. Liam is being led out by a doctor.

"Well?" Charlie asks.

"Oh, he's going to need glasses, alright. His vision has gotten gradually worse over the years," the doctor says. He glances at Liam, who is leaning against the wall and staring at his shoes in disappointment. "We would give him contacts, since he seems to dislike glasses so much, but contacts are so difficult for first time users. We really recommend glasses for right now."

Liam scoffs and walks out.

"AHHHHHHHH!" he screams.

"Oh, I almost forgot," the doctor says. "His eyes are dilated, so they're sensitive to light."

He pulls a glasses case out of his pocket.

"We just happened to have a pair of glasses with a prescription close to his in the office. Have him wear it, so he can get the feel of them. And they're tinted, so encourage the fact that they're actually sunglasses that make him see well."

Charlie nods, and walks out with a large grin on his face.

(A/N: ...I haven't updated in a while. Haven't got the time. Whenever the next chapter of Drive Shaft comes out, it will have Charlie and Liam walking back to the bus. Oh, I'm sure the suspense is killing you.)