A/N: I'll take you down the only road I've ever been on.
xThis Is Drive Shaftx
(STILL in Ohio! I mean, I know Cleveland rocks and all that, but I'm just glad this is the last day)
Murdoc and Dean are in Dean's car. Dean looks thoroughly pissed, and Murdoc is avoiding his glares by wearing large Gotham-like black sunglasses. She might also be wearing these to not be recognized as they stop on a concrete bridge by a wooded area. Murdoc looks to make sure they're not being watched as she helps Dean take a heavily wrapped large object out of the trunk. They awkwardly carry it to the side of the bridge and chuck it over. A splash is heard as the object hits the water below.
"Do you think-?" Murdoc begins, but stops when she hears police sirens in the distance. Dean grabs her hand and they get in the car quickly and drive off. The camera pans around the bridge.
"Hey…" the sound guy says, "we don't have a ride, do we?"
(Back where bus is…)
Murdoc is skipping and guiding a blindfolded Meat Loaf through the parking lot towards the bus.
"Why are we doing this?" Meat Loaf asks.
"Well, I just wanted you to be surprised when you see the bus," Murdoc answers sweetly.
"I was worried about something like this," Meat Loaf said.
"No, the bus is fine!" Murdoc says, a little too enthusiastically. "It's just, we fixed it up a bit and we wanted to surprise you."
"Oh my God, you repainted it," Meat Loaf said, stopping in his tracks.
"We didn't repaint it!" Murdoc says in exasperation. "It's just-"
She stops when she sees the bus. Sinjin, Patrick, and Dean are currently removing the totaled windshield. Liam is sitting in a chair and rubbing his temples. Jeremy is sitting next to him, clutching his chap stick and talking animatedly. Charlie is doing absolutely nothing, but is watching the removal of the windshield and keeps saying things that might make one think he is helping.
"You know what?" Murdoc says, turning Meat Loaf around. "There's just one little thing I think I forgot to do. But you know what? Jeremy-" she motioned to Jeremy, who ran up immediately "-has got something he wanted to tell you, a really, uh, great story, so I'll just leave you here with him and he'll tell you all about it…"
She ran over to the bus.
"What are-" She paused, making sure Jeremy had guided Meat Loaf well out of ear shot. Lowering her voice, she said "What are you doing?"
"Sorry, Murdoc, it's just that it took a little longer than we expected to get the new windshield…" Dean began.
"What d'you mean? I told you to take it to the shop!" Murdoc whispered loudly.
"And get asked a bunch of question about how that happened? I don't think so!" Dean whispered back.
"Do you even know how to do this yourself?"
"Of course, Sinjin used to work in a auto shop-" As he said this, Sinjin pushed what was left of the windshield off the bus. "And I got the windshield from Rusty. Remember Rusty? He-"
"Well, when is this going to be done? Marvin's here now!" Murdoc snapped.
"Just keep him distracted," Sinjin says, "for about another… two hours."
"I'll help!" Charlie says. Murdoc gives him a critical stare.
"I'm not so sure…" Murdoc says, watching Liam from mouth "take him" from behind Charlie. "But, alright, I suppose."
As they walk over to the park across the street where Jeremy has led Meat Loaf, Charlie says, "Hey, don't you think it's weird that even though we did crash into a building, the only thing on the bus that was damaged was the windshield?"
Murdoc ignores him.
(Later)
"Okay, you can open your eyes now," Murdoc tells a blindfolded Meat Loaf.
"Thank God," he replies. "If I had to listen to Jeremy tell me that stupid Chap Stick story again I think I would've had a brain aneurism."
"Well, aren't you positive?" Murdoc said, walking up the steps inside the bus. "Ta da."
A new, tinted windshield has replaced the old one, complete with a Drive Shaft sticker in the corner. A new curtain of shiny beads has replaced the old one, and the seat has even been covered with a fuzzy cheetah print.
"Aw, thank you, guys," Meat Loaf says. "And that Bill guy is gone for good now, right?"
Everyone exchanges glances.
"Yeah," Dean answers coldly. "Gone for good."
(Driving to North Carolina)
"It's so great to be back on the road," Liam says. Apparently, the crash had cured him for the better. "I love being on the road. It's so random."
"I think we've had enough excitement for now," Dean sighs. Everyone laughs.
"Hey…" Jeremy says, "Didn't we have a second camera crew?"
(Somewhere in Ohio)
The sound guy is walking down the side of a road and holding a sign that says: "BEEN PUNK'D".
(Next Day, on bus, pit stop in Kentucky)
The band is all sitting in the bus, and Murdoc has a big box in front of her.
"Hope that doesn't have a bomb in it," Sinjin says wearily.
"Oh no," Murdoc laughs. "No, these are cameras, you know, video cameras. Thanks to some recent contributions, we've been able to afford them. Each of you get your own camera, and you can do whatever you want with it. And, if it's good enough, I might put it in the film."
Dean gives a camera to Liam, Patrick, Sinjin, and Charlie. They all play around with them.
"But, what are we supposed to do with them?" Charlie asks.
"Anything. A video diary. A little project of yours or something… anything."
The band is still playing with their cameras when Ted and a teenage boy board the bus.
"Alright, gentlemen!" he says. "As you know, I can't be with you at all times, and on tour time my presence is very important, and since I won't be able to be here, my nephew here will watch over you for me."
No one is paying attention.
"Boys? Boys! Hey! Over here!" Ted says, waving his arms. He sighs and says, "I'll give a Kit Kat to anyone that'll watch over Donald here."
Everyone jumps up, and Charlie is the closest but is pulled back by Sinjin. Patrick runs into both of them, knocking them all to the ground. Liam steps over them and grins at Ted.
"Well, I guess it's me then," he says, filming Ted with the camera. Ted doesn't look too happy. But really, look at his options.
"Fine," he says hastily, shoving a Kit Kat into Liam's hand. "This is Donald. He wanted to know what life's like on the road, and he wanted to see what his cool uncle does for a living."
Donald sighs and rolls his eyes.
"Well, I've got to go, so I thought I could leave him here till you get to theCarolinas. And… Well, Adam, I can trust you to look after him too, right?" Sinjin gets up.
"Sure, but what's in it for me?" he asks.
"Oh, I'll give you a-" he pauses, and goes through his pockets. Liam has a Kit Kat sticking out of his mouth. Ted snatches it and gives it to Sinjin. "There you go," he says, wiping his hand on Donald's jacket. Don scowls. "So what do you say?"
"Deal," Sinjin says, taking a bite out of the Kit Kat.
(Some Diner In Boone, North Carolina)
A close-up of Jeremy's face as he tells his Chap Stick story.
"And so," he says, holding the chap stick in front of his face, "this chap stick saved my life."
"Uh huh."
The camera pans to Charlie and Murdoc, who are sitting across from Jeremy at the table.
"Y'all want any more coffee?" the waitress asks. They all nod and say their pleases and thank yous and as she leans over Jeremy, Charlie asks, "Excuse me, miss, but you wouldn't happen to have the time?"
"Well, sure, it's 11:23," she says. Her watch was on the wrist she was pouring with, but she was too concerned with answering Charlie's question to realize she was pouring scalding hot coffee right into Jeremy's lap. But timid, modest Jeremy doesn't say anything until she's well out of earshot. He starts to sob and runs to the bathroom.
"Well, I guess his chap stick wasn't there to save him this time, eh?" Murdoc says, leaning over the table and snatching Jer's Chap Stick.
(On bus)
"Well, Douglas, your dear old uncle Ted left you in our hands," Liam says, pacing all authoritative like in front of the couch the teen is sitting on.
"It's Donald," he mutters.
"What's that?"
Donald sighs. "Nothing."
"Okay, Dominic, your first job as assistant manager for Drive Shaft is… Um… I want to see how many push ups you can do."
"What?"
"You heard me," Liam says. "Well? Get to it, boy."
Don sighs again and gets on the floor. Sinjin, who has been fiddling around with the TV, beckons Liam to the little diner-like booth the TV is placed in.
"Listen, Liam," he whispers when Liam approaches him. "We need to take care of that kid."
"Hey, I can take care of David just fine, alright?"
"Yeah, but we REALLY need to take care of him."
"I took care of Charlie, right? He's still alive, right?"
"That's just it," Sinjin says, grabbing Liam's shoulders. "We need to make sure Derek doesn't die."
"Can I stop now?" Donald whined.
(Driving to Myrtle Beach, SC)
Jeremy is looking around the couch in the bus.
"Hey, Jay, what're you looking for?" Charlie smirks.
"My chap stick, I can't find it," he says, pulling off the cushions.
"Well, where did you see it last?" Charlie asks.
"When I was showing you at the… Oh no!" he sighed in exasperation. "I must've forgotten it at the diner!"
"Well it is understandable," Charlie says, leaning against the bar. "I mean, you were a little preoccupied. How is… that going, by the way."
"It… still kinda stings."
"You know, I feel sorry that you lost your chap thing, I really am," Charlie says, picking up his video camera that is on the bar. "Tell you what? You can have my camera."
Jeremy walks over and takes the camera Charlie is offering. He examines it. "It's not really the same…"
"I know, but maybe you can… I don't know, make something about your little adventure. Yeah, go ahead, use my camera. I don't need it."
"You sure?"
"Yeah."
"The battery's running low…"
"Oh, yeah, I think I left the charger in the cargo. I guess you're going to have to wait till we stop."
"That's alright. Hey, Charlie?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks."
(Myrtle Beach)
"We've got a show in three hours, c'mon guys!" Liam says as he leans against the side of the bus. He's drinking from a water bottle and is ordering a few roadies around. "Be careful with that- Be careful!" CLANG!
Jeremy is looking around with his camera. He spots two girls sitting nearby pointing and talking animatedly. Murdoc is nearby with Donald.
"Hey, Darrell, have you seen Patrick nearby?" Donald gives her a cold stare. "You know, tall, red hair… a dumb look on his face?"
"I know who he is, I just haven't seen him," Donald says.
Jeremy walks over to the girls.
"Hi," he says.
The girls look at him distastefully. We're already familiar with them as the two fan girls that bugged Charlie and Liam, known as Braceface and WhatsHerName.
"Do you… Do you guys like Drive Shaft?" he asks.
"Yeah, Liam is so hot," WhatsHerName says. Braceface hits her arm and gives her a look.
"Well, I happen to know Liam," Jeremy says.
"Really?" Braceface says.
"Oh, yeah. We go way back. In fact, I'm filming a documentary about him now," Jeremy says in what is obviously a bragging tone. He turns around to see if Murdoc has overheard.
"Really? A movie about Liam? Wow!" WHN says. "I mean, that's cool."
"Yeah."
"Hey, mister, if you know Liam so much…" Braceface says, "is there any chance we could get a little tour of the tour bus with him?"
"Well, they're leaving to do a show soon... But I could show you the bus if you like."
The girls think about this.
"Can we take souvenirs?" WHN asks.
"Um, yeah, I guess. As long as it isn't something, you know, important."
"Cool!"
(An Hour Later- shot from Jeremy's camera)
"I can't believe we're going on Drive Shaft's tour bus!" WHN says.
"Yeah," Jeremy says, looking at the locked door of the bus. "Hey, you want to go through Liam's stuff?"
"Okay!" WHN says. Jeremy walks over to the cargo door. "Hey, can you hold this?" he asks, handing the camera to WHN. He attempts to open the door.
"Aren't you supposed to unlock that with something?" Braceface asks after Jeremy has been tugging at the door for a few minutes.
"This? This thing doesn't lock, you're just supposed to-" He grunts. "-RIP it open!" The door makes a weird noise and it opens. "Hmm… I guess they moved all the clothes and stuff to the back," he says, looking at the bags that have been pushed considerably toward the back of the cargo hold. "Well, ladies first."
The girls go in and he follows them.
"Yeah, Liam's bag is one of the black ones… Yeah, they're all black… Um, try that one-" There's another weird noise and the cargo door shuts.
"What just happened?" WHN says in a panicked tone.
"The door just shut," Braceface says. "You're going to open it, right?"
"Open it? Yeah… Hold on…" Jeremy moves over to the door and stares at the broken handle in dismay.
"Well?"
"Um… I think… I don't think… Well…"
"Are you saying we're locked in here?" WHN screams.
"Not for long! I'm sure someone's going to show up soon!"
"This is just great. I told you we shouldn't have listened to this guy, Sam," Braceface growls. "But you- Sam, would you let go of my arm?"
"I'm not touching you…" WHN says. Braceface looks at Jeremy, who is far enough to not being able to touch her and is fiddling with the light on his camera. Braceface looks at her arm and sees a hand holding on to it.
"AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
A/N: Wow, it certainly took me long enough. Uh… Next chappie, the hilarity will ensue.