AN: I know… I'm working on a lot of things at once… I have a half-baked excuse, though! For Animals, I'm working on a nice chapter for BJ. The only problem is that I'm having trouble with the timeline of it… It's supposed to span over a year, and I'm having serious issues with keeping enough information to make it detailed and killing enough to make it less than a full length novel! Seriously, the story in its entirety is ridiculously long. For 101, SERIOUS writer's block! And it stinks 'cause I have a ton of ideas for it! Anyways, this story is one where some random general (let's say Clayton) decides that the 4077 needs therapy. Erm... Let's just say that Sidney isn't in Korea, yet, because I'm gonna use my aunt as the shrink! I've only seen these under other fandoms, but if you've written a MASH therapy story, I'm really sorry if you think I stole your idea! I actually stole it from Kingdom Hearts!

> > >

Dr. Amy Schneider was a phsychiatrist. A BAD phsychiatrist. Unfortunately, she didn't have Radar's radar, which might have told her to tell General Clayton she was sick, allowing her to miss some session with a MASH unit. She checked her file… 4077… Though, even if she had the radar, it was unlikely that she would ever believe the havoc that would come from this session. The moment she saw the eight people, she knew that this would be a tough case.

"Colonel Blake, I presume?" She asked.

"Yes. This is my second in command, Major Burns." The ferret-ish man saluted. "My head nurse, Major Houlihan." Another salute. "Our camp priest, Father Mulcahy." Salute. "My company clerk, Corporal O'Reilly." Salute. "One of our corpsmen, Corporal Klinger." Curtsy. Wait… Curtsy? Amy blinked twice; there was no mistaking it… A corporal had just CURTSIED her. "My chief surgeon-"

"The wonderful wizard of Oz," Finished one of the only two remaining. "This here's Glinda the Good." He added motioning to his companion. At this, the companion (who had a hair style that resembled a poodle) demanded to know why, out of all of the characters of "The Wizard of Oz", he was Glinda the Good.

"-Captain Pierce. Another surgeon, Captain McIntyre." No salutes (or curtsies) for the duo, who at the moment were trying to find comparisons between the other and Glinda the Good.

"Well, hellooooo." Amy said in a sing-song-ish voice. "I just want all of you to know that I do hope that we all will become great friends after this… You already seem like really great people!" Smile. Smile. "I just want you to know that you'll have to trust me in order for us to help one another." Twinkle. Twinkle. "And also… No yelling. I'm hungover. If you yell, you will die." Smile. Twinkle.

Captain McIntyre, who had been paying more attention to her rack than her actual words, clapped. Everyone else, who had been listening, was silent.

"This," Amy motioned to eight chairs, which were set up in a circle. "Is the circle of trust. You must trust each other to join into it! If you don't, you'll go to the fiery pits of hell." She motioned to one chair, which was in the center of the circle. "Everyone, pick a seat!" The member's of the 4077 did so, all terrified of the psychiatrist, except for Trapper, who was (still) fixated on her chest. "Now, We'll start with Colonel Blake and go clockwise around the circle." Henry winced. "He'll state his name, rank, hometown and age!" Smile. Twinkle. "Then, he'll say why he's unhappy with someone." She sat down at her desk. "Not interrupting, or it's off to hell for you! You may begin when you're ready."

"Erm… Hi, folks! I'm you lovable Colonel Henry Blake. I'm from-"

"You're rank, Henry?" Amy asked innocently.

"I just said it."

"Please repeat it."

"Um… Colonel. I'm from Bloomington, Illinois. I'm forty-five."

Dr. Schneider smiled encouragingly.

"Well, folks, my problem is you're always getting me into trouble. I mean… Frank, do you have to file so many reports to and from from the general and getting me into dutch?"

"I'm only doing my duty." The ferret protested.

"NO INTERRUPTING!" Amy leapt to her feet and snarled. "OFF TO HELL WITH YEE!"

Frank sniffled as he took a seat in the center of the circle.

"Frank's gone to hell! Frank's gone to hell!" Hawkeye chanted gleefully.

"YOU! I THOUGHT I SAID NO INTERRUPTING! GO TO HELL!"

Frank stood and was about to reclaim his seat.

"I NEVER SAID YOU WERE FREE!"

> > >

Trapper took his eyes off Amy's breast just long enough to snigger at Hawkeye, who was now seated on Frank's lap.

"If this ever leaves this room, I will kill you all." Hawkeye snarled. Dr. Schneider leapt out of her seat and into the circle in order to backhand Hawkeye.

"NO NEGATIVE THOUGHTS!"

The surgeon turned to Trapper and mouthed, "Crazy bitch, ain't she?"

Poodle-head grinned. "She's hot. Who cares?" He then busied himself with attempting to see up the crazy bitch's skirt.

"Continue, Henry." Amy, who had returned to her seat, was now completely happy and smiley again. Twinkle.

"Erm… Anyways, the same can go for you, Margaret? It's not fair! The general's like you more because you're having sex with them!"

"THAT'S A LIE!" Margaret sprung to her feet.

"I SAID NO YELLING!" Amy roared in anger. "SIT ON HIS LAP!" She screeched, pointing at Hawkeye. He looked as happy as a kid at Christmas.

> > >

"Continue, Henry." Hell now was three people and a chair high. Frank's legs were hurting from holding two people's weight, Hawkeye was grinning and thoroughly enjoying having Hot Lips Houlihan on his lap and Margaret looked rather nervous at being so high up.

"Well, Hawkeye and Trapper: Do you guys HAVE to run through Tokyo naked everytime you have R and R? Do you have to tap dance in the middle of medical lectures?"

"You may answer the question, now." Smile. Twinkle.

"Of course!" Hawkeye answered earnestly. Trapper was still attempting to see up Amy's skirt, so he didn't answer.

"Captain McIntyre? Captain McIntyre? CAPTAIN MCINTYRE!" Trapper bolted up in his seat at her screech. "GO TO HELL!"

"Um… Excuse me, ma'am, but there's gonna be too many people…"

"YOU GO TO HELL, TOO, CORPORAL O'REILLY!"

Frank whimpered as two… Er… One and a half more people were added onto his legs. Luckily for him, Radar's radar was right, so he didn't have to hold them much longer.

CRASH!