Hey peeps! Well, I finally updated. You have no idea how hard it was to do this chapter. But I need to thank Can't Stand The Heat for this idea. Honey, you're idea will come in the next chapter I swear! Thanks for all your wonderful reviews. I'll try to update Flashback as fast as I can. On with the story...

Disclaimer: Really, if I owned Instant Star Jommy would've happened a LONG time ago!

Chapter 5: A Miracle

I wrote more songs and I went and slept in alley ways. I couldn't believe I let it go this far. Ian was right. I should've just gone home when I had the chance. I thought it was too late and I was feeling weaker by the minute. I didn't have the strength. I didn't even know if I was in Toronto anymore, let alone Carson Hill. I knew I was being stupid; running away never did any good. I missed my family. I missed Tommy. How could he do that? He said that he loved me and he goes with that girl again. That little slut! Then I started to think more. I never returned that love. I told him that I loved him but only as a friend. Maybe Tommy wasn't hurting me, maybe I was hurting myself. I was so afraid to tell him what I felt that he couldn't wait for me. I finally understood. Now I just wished I could go home, but I didn't know where it was.

The next morning I decided to figure out where I was. I was hungry and feeling weak. My head started to spin. I leaned on a brick wall next to me and held my head in my hands. I waited until my vision got clearer. Once the dizziness stopped I saw something familiar, extremely familiar. 'Yes!' I thought to myself when I saw my rehearsal space. I ran to it but suddenly stopped. I felt sick, like I was about to throw up. I saw someone coming out of my rehearsal space. Then they came running to me. I saw that it was Tommy. He ran over to me and picked me up and I returned his embrace. Tears were falling down both of our faces. He put me down but still didn't let go. I had to hold him, I felt safe with him.

Tommy: Jude, don't you ever do that to me again. Do you hear me? Never again!

Jude: Oh, Tommy, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I've missed you so much.

We were crying together and it felt good. But just like I said, when things start getting better, there's another trap waiting for us. I suddenly couldn't breathe. I lungs were compressed. I let go of Tommy.

Tommy: Jude?

Jude: Tommy, Tommy, I can't breathe. Tom, what's happening?

Tommy: Jude!

My life was in danger. I knew it, once I hit that wet, cold, cement. I woke up in the hospital and there again, Tommy was by my side holding my hand. Except this time he was awake.

Tommy: Hi.

Jude: Hi there.

Tommy: How are you feeling?

Jude: As good as can be expected. What happened?

Tommy: You collapsed. It was caused by your Leukemia.

I looked away from him.

Tommy: Jude, why didn't you tell me?

I looked at him and I tried to open my mouth to speak but no words came out.

Tommy: Jude? We're best friends. You didn't even tell Sadie who is worried sick about you right now.

Jude: I…I didn't mean to scare anyone. I just…didn't want anyone to worry about me.

Tommy: Why not?

Jude: I thought I could handle it on my own.

Tommy: We talked to the doctor Jude. He said that he offered Chemo Therapy and you never showed up. There's more to this. You can trust me.

Jude: Can I really Tommy?

Tommy: Jude, don't do this to me please. Just tell me. Why were you risking you're life?

Jude: Because I didn't want to have a life!

I didn't notice how load I said that until I saw nurses outside the door looking at me. I then looked over at Tommy who had his head down.

Tommy: This is my fault. If I hadn't caused you so much pain, none of this would've happened.

Jude: Tom, hey, look at me.

I lifted Tommy's head up to reveal tears that were falling down his cheek.

Jude: You didn't cause this illness. It would've happened no matter what. You weren't causing me pain. I was causing myself pain. I hid my feelings and my life from everyone. No one knew what was going on. Don't you ever blame yourself. If anything you helped me get pass most of this, and I want to thank you.

Tommy: You're…

I didn't give him time to finish. I kissed him on the lips. Not hard, but soft. Still full of emotion and passion. We finally pulled apart.

Tommy: Welcome.

I laughed. He just had to finish his sentence. He smiled and kissed me again, then embraced me.

Jude: I love you Tom Quincy.

Tommy: I love you Jude Harrison.

That was April 13. The day I finally admitted my feelings to Tom Quincy.

I had to stay at the hospital and they were going to run the Chemo on me. Apparently I turned 21, but I didn't really know most of the dates. That's when I lost track of time and dates. Sadie and I were talking and we heard a knock on the door. Stuart was standing in the doorway.

Sadie: Dad?

Stuart: Hey girls. I want to talk to you.

He took a seat and I saw Sadie roll her eyes and looked at me. I gave her the yea-I-know look. He took one of the chairs and took a seat next to Sadie.

Stuart: Hey, honey, how are you feeling?

Jude: I'm better, Stuart, thanks for asking.

Stuart: Girls, I know that your mom and I should've told you, but we didn't see how it was necessary. We loved you as if you were our own. You are my daughters.

Sadie: That's not the point dad. We deserved to know.

Stuart: I'm sorry.

Jude: We know. Now, I'd like to be alone with Sadie. You may leave now.

Stuart: Right, I'll go now. Bye, I hope you get better.

Jude: Bye.

Sadie: Bye, Stuart.

I stayed in the hospital for…um…dammit! I can't remember, but I know it was a long time. Since they caught the cancer early it was a good chance that I was going to live. Tommy came and visited me everyday. He even sang a song to me that he wrote. It was so sweet.

Staring out at the rain with a heavy heart

It's the end of the world in my mind

Then your voice pulls me back like a wake-up call

I've been looking for the answer

Somewhere

I couldn't see that it was right there

But now I know what I didn't know

Because you live and breathe

Because you make me believe in myself

When nobody else could help

Because you live girl, my world

Has twice as many stars in the sky

It's alright I survived I'm alive again

'Cause of you made it through every storm

What is life, what's the use if you're killing time?

I'm so glad I found and angel

Someone

Who was there when all my hopes fell

I wanna fly looking in your eyes

Because you live and breathe

Because you make me believe in myself

When nobody else could help

Because you live girl, my world

Has twice as many stars in the sky

Jude: Because you live there's a reason why

I carry on when I lose the fight

I want to give what you given me

Always

Both: Because you live and breathe

Because you live and breathe

Because you make me believe in myself

When nobody else could help

Because you live girl, my world

Has everything I need to survive

I don't know what it was but that song meant everything to me. We were singing it to each other. I fell asleep so I don't know exactly what happened. But people told me that I was in the hospital and Tommy was there waiting for me to wake up. But something went wrong. The machines I was hooked on went crazy and Tommy was yelling for help. When the doctors came in they sent Tommy out but he was still at the door waiting to see what happened. They didn't know what was wrong with me but then my heart stopped. They announced, "Jude Elizabeth Harrison. Dead at 3:05pm."

Now, I should be 6ft underground right now. But this is what I heard happened. Have you ever heard about those little miracles that happened? You know like on T.V. and everything? How people die for like 10 hours and come back to life? Well, that's what happened to me. I was dead for 15 hours. Don't ask me how it happened. I don't know what happened and why I wasn't in a body bag already. But I did have a sheet over me. I woke up and all I saw was white. I screamed because I had no idea where I was. I kicked the sheet off of me and sat up. I was in a big room with bodies all around me. I screamed again. Then that's when doctors came in and saw me.

Doctor 1: She's alive? She's alive!

I had no idea what they were talking about?

Doctor 2: I can't believe it. How did this happen?

Doctor 1: It's a miracle.

Jude: Okay, where am I? What happened?

After they filled me in on everything the press had a field day. The headlines read "Jude Harrison: A Miracle", "Jude Harrison: Back from the Dead." It was crazy. Everyone was there, including my mom who was living in Europe for the past 4 years. I even forgave my dad. Yes, my dad. I was so glad everyone was there to greet me, but there was one person missing.

Jude: Sadie, where's Tommy?

Sadie looked like she didn't want to tell me. I could tell something was wrong.

Sadie: Um, I don't think he's coming.

Jude: Oh, well, is he going to meet me when I come home tomorrow.

Sadie: Jude, he was there, when you "died".

She put her two fingers up to make the quote things.

Sadie: He came running into me and Kwest's apartment crying and screaming "She's dead, she's gone." He broke down and we tried to comfort each other. He stayed at our apartment that night and we didn't see him in the morning. We have no idea where he is. We haven't heard from him since.

Jude: Did you check his apartment?

Sadie: No. Everyone's been too busy with you. I'm sure his ok. He just hasn't read any of the tabloids or newspapers.

Jude: Tomorrow, we'll go and visit him. Maybe I should call him.

Sadie: We tried but he's not answering. But we'll go tomorrow to his apartment.

The next day I was so excited to finally come home. I went to my apartment and looked at the x-rays again and again. No more cancer. It was gone. After I put my stuff away and cleaned for a bit I went across the hall to Tommy's. I knocked on the door but no one answered. I tried again and then called out his name. I jiggled the doorknob and found it was unlocked. Once I entered there was a strong stench of whiskey. I cringed at the smell. I looked around and called out his name again. I saw the bottles on the tables and broken ones on the floor.

I kept looking around wondering what had happened. I went into the rec room he had in the back. That's when I saw him.

Jude: No.

Soooooo...how was it? Totally awful? Tell me in a review please! MWAHS! You guys keep me going!