10. Truths.
T: No comment on this chapter apart from a reassurance that all warnings remain as they were and nothing bar the plot and dear Orito is mine.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
He had, eventually, convinced Subaru to get a little more rest and, once he had been assured that the other was asleep, he'd decided to check upon his son.
Hokuto had, at some point between cleaning the mess they'd made in the kitchen and retiring to bed for a 'power nap', dusted off an old mattress from her store cupboard and set up a make shift bed for Orito in the gaudy surroundings of her studio.
The mattress was small enough that, even curled in on himself as he was, Orito did not fit it completely.
It is an odd reminder that his son is no longer a child and it puts him in the oddest of moods.
: Is it not usual to feel saddened to know that your child is growing beyond the need of you::
"For others, perhaps, and yet for myself…"
: You are not your mother, Seishiro-sama and your son had grown up well in your influence. :
"He has grown well in your influence, Tree-san…all I have ever done is run from him and press him into a life that should not be his."
: You have not been running away, Seishiro-sama, this we both know well and as to the other…
: Overt the many millennia that I have existed my guardians have found a thousand different ways to validate and to perform their task.
: For example, your mother turned her heart into ice and you have always made it as a part of the elaborate illusion that surrounds you.
: Thus though it is true that Orito can not be to me as you are, it is not true that he is ill matched for this fate…:
"Whether by my means or by his own it is still murder, Tree-san."
: I could tell you that it is more a dealing of justice and yet I am assured that you would accuse me of 'sugar coating' the matter.
: Thus I will say only that he loves you Seishiro-sama and that he wishes you to be always in his life, no matter what such a want might mean for his destiny. :
"You grow sentimental in your old age, Tree-san."
: And you grow insecure. :
His maudlin mood thus all but dispelled he settles down onto his knees and, placing his hands to his son's forehead, he mumbles the incantation that shall pre-emptively lease Orito from the sleeping spell.
His son wakes with a start and looks so disillusioned that he feels compelled to say,
"It's all right son, you're safe."
The child's eyes search out his and, after a moment of silence, he enquires,
"Father?"
"I fear so, child. What has gotten you into such a state?"
"I had a dream that was not quite my own and then I saw Kamui-kun…there was so much blood about him, father and the place they were keeping him was so dark…"
He knows that, at some point, he shall have to decipherer precisely how his child had managed to hijack Subaru's spell and yet, for the moment, there are more important matters to focus upon.
"Take a breath, Orito, and tell me as such as you can about the room that Kamui-kun was in, the kidnappers and the child's state of health."
"Should we not wake Kazuki-san?"
"And raise her hopes unnecessarily? No, it's best to let her get her sleep and wake her when we have something concrete to tell her."
"The room in which they were holding him was very damp and the quality of the light was of the sort you would see in a cellar…there was the smell of stale alcohol in the air, not the strong stench of bear but rather the more subtle aroma of fermenting wine…A train passed by somewhere near, the unique rhythm of its passing making me sure that it was destined for the subway…there was also music playing somewhere above us.
"I saw only one man, but I think that we can assume that there are, at least, two others involved...they have magic enough that he was confident about sensing any magic aid we might send to Kamui and to set up a magical trap to hurt Kamui once that aid reached him."
"Do you know this because he saw your presence within Kamui?"
"Thankfully he is not that gifted, it is rather that I know these things because I overheard him passing a message to Kamui that was intended for Sumeragi-san."
"What else did he say in this message?"
"That he would be in contact and that, until that time, we were to do noting."
"He is overly confident in his mastery of the situation and I believe we might be able to find a way to turn that fact to our advantage."
This statement is enough to push away a little of his son's worry and to coax a smile onto his lips. It is a contentment that does not last long for, after a moment of silence, the child inquires,
"Why did you not tell me that Kamui was of the Sumeragi bloodline?"
"Of what use would such a truth have been to you, Orito?"
"If I had heard it from you rather than Kamui I would have had chance to come to terms with it…would have had chance to accept it before I saw him again…as it was…" His eyes slide closed and, a frown creasing his forehead, he remarks, "As it was I was taken by surprise and I reacted in a very immature manner…scared him enough that he left the safety of the campus to look for me and thus made himself vulnerable to this attack."
"I had hoped that you might remain ignorant of the truth…had hoped that you, at least, might retain the innocence of your friendship with Kizuki-kun."
"Kamui-kun told me that his uncle had been betrayed by one he had cared very much for…someone who had been 'someone other than he claimed'…might that be you?"
"Two days before the conclusion of the Bet that I had made with Subaru-kun I came between him and a woman whom had intended to kill him…lost the use of my right eye for his sake…in that instant I knew that I had lost.
"Such a realisation unnerved me, because by caring so intensely about one being I was making myself vulnerable and because I feared what that care would mean for Subaru-kun's future.
"Thus I made a very selfish decision and forcefully pushed Subaru-kun from my side…lied to him about the strength of my attachment, betrayed the faith he had placed in me and tore away his heart…
"It should have been an end to it and yet I had over looked Hokuto-chan's attachment to her brother…had not thought through how such a choice would affect her…
"She came to me beneath the sakura…offered me her life to pay for Subaru's and, trapped by my own lie, I could do nothing but accept that trade…"
"Yet Kizuki-san lives still."
"That is because I hesitated once again…because my 'weak' heart would not allow me to pull the killing blow against one whom I thought of still as a friend.
"It was a hesitation that, for three years, I berated myself upon…that I wished so desperately to undo…then Tree-san told me the truth about the lies mother had told me and suddenly I was glad that I had done as I had…
"For, you see, if I had actually killed her then Subaru-kun would never have forgiven me…would have twisted his heart against me."
"Then the hurt you felt for Tree-san's revelation was for Sumeragi-san's sake?"
"It was also, partially, due to the dissolution that I felt upon discovering that the very foundations of my life had been illusionary.
"I wish to apologise for how I reacted to that hurt and I must apologise also for wondering so far from your side with such regularity…it is just…
"When I learned the truth I felt waited again by the lives I had stolen away…felt suddenly so very inadequate…and again I chose to take the selfish path…chose to look for a way in which I could rid myself of that weight and become again confident in my self worth."
"Then that is why you have been travelling?"
"Yes."
"Have you found what you were searching for?"
He smiles at that and, pulling his son into his arms, he enquires,
"How could I when what I was looking for was not 'out there; but rather 'right here'?"
Orito submits, willingly, to the hug and, a childish smile on his lips, he remarks,
"You're becoming sentimental in your old age."
"Something that you are not the first to comment upon today."
"Tree-san?"
"Tree-san."
His son begins to laugh, the sound a free thing of a sort that he has not heard in months and that is infectious enough that soon he too is laughing.
It is a joy that lasts until the telephone begins to ring, at which point both the laughter and the levity it had brought, are snuffed out.
"I'll answer it."
"And I'll go and wake Kizuki-san and Sumeragi-san."
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
T: Next chapter Sunday at the latest until then R+R