Hey everyone! I'm very sorry that I haven't updated sooner, it was very bad of me. But I'm in the first few weeks of sixth form and it's very very hectic. But I'm going to try one chapter per week until i finish it. We'll see, hope you enjoy this one.

Chapter Five – Reflections

The rest of the week had gone much to Harry's dismay and annoyance not to any sort of plan. The majority of his newest wounds had managed to open themselves due to the continuous movement he was enduring and the stress and strain of work, the weight of his schoolbag and of course Ron and Hermione.

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'Tomorrow's Sunday. Do you realise that I'll see Remus tomorrow?' Harry asked Ron.

Ron looked up at him, 'What? Oh yeah, you will, can I come along I want to know if he's heard anything, like anything to do with...' Ron looked around him, 'you know, with well you know.'

Harry nodded and chuckled, Ron always had to go around things the long way but he replied 'yeah I know what you mean.'

'Would you guys please just shut up, some of us are trying to sleep here and I'm sure I speak for the rest of us,' muttered a very sleepy Seamus.

'Well said Seamus,' said Dean and they only got snores from Neville. 'That says it all I think, now go to sleep,' Dean continued after Neville's snores had subsided a little.

Harry glanced at Ron through the gap in his curtains, 'We'll talk tomorrow.'

'Ok, night Harry.'

'Night.'

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It was breakfast the next day that Harry received the first sign of the beginning of his new life at Hogwarts.

A letter, which read:

Dear Harry,

How are you? I would like you to know that today will be your first training session and today we'll be concentrating on some general fitness, nothing too specific or strenuous! I'd like you to come to The Room of Requirement at 2.15pm. Can't wait to see you. Thank you.

See you soon,

Kind regards

Remus

Harry showed his letter to Ron and Hermione and they both muttered approvals, as in Ron's case it was all he could do as he was busy stuffing his face and Hermione was busy reading a book about the conjunction of the physical properties of certain herbal potions. These muttered approvals came through mouthfuls of the both of them, which Harry could hardly bare to look at, let alone even consider eating food himself. He had tried to eat but he just couldn't, it didn't feel right anymore. Ron and Hermione had already given up on Harry when it came to food; they weren't getting through to Harry and in Harry's opinion and this were perfectly fine by him.

'It's all so false. They've given up on pestering me about food already and it's only Sunday, that's 4 days, 4 bloody days. 12 bloody meals, is that all I can expect from them, yes it is nice to have them off my back I suppose. And why cant they see what's happening right in front of them? Also am I being too harsh, I suppose I don't really talk to them much anymore......' Harry wondered to himself.

'Harry mate?' Ron disturbed his thoughts.

'Yeah Ron?'

'Um......Hermione and I are going to the library, she's gonna help me with my Divination essay, we'll see you soon. Unless of course you want to come too?' Ron asked.

Harry looked at them both, shook his head and whispered 'No.' So Harry got up and left the Great Hall, alone.

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The corridor was dark as sat opposite to the entrance of where The Room of Requirement would be, he took a quick glance at the tapestry above him, when he heard a voice.

'Harry?'

Harry leaped up and threw himself at Lupin, while shouting 'Remus!'

'Whoa, it's good to see you too Harry,' Remus looked behind him before pulling Harry into a tight hug. 'Come on lets go inside.'

Harry followed Remus into the room and saw cushions piled upon cushions, then there were shelves full of books all about the different types of fighting and also there were loads of aids to help Harry to learn the different types of fighting. For example, mats, punch bags, boards, swords, karate sticks and clothes.

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By 5.30pm Harry had really been put through his paces, listening to Remus' instructions and following them as close to perfect as he could get them, as to not let Remus down, at their first session especially. The wounds on his back were open and all Harry could do was ignore the pain that was searing through his back, he had to do this, for Remus, for Dumbledore, for the entire wizarding world and mostly for himself.

'Punch, punch, arm in, wrist strong, elbow and hand in a straight line,' Harry thought. He didn't hear anything else, he had almost become deaf due to his concentration, he didn't hear the words of encouragement from Lupin, he didn't feel anything else, not the excruciating pain he was in, from the work he had given but also of course from the cuts and wounds. Harry wouldn't have stopped if Lupin hadn't grabbed hold of his wrists and prevented him from doing anymore damage to the punch bag or more importantly himself.

'Well I think we can safely say you've perfected the art of punching.' Remus joked but as he saw the stony expression on Harry's face, he continued in a more serious tone. 'It was a good start Harry, I'm impressed. Now I want you to follow the fitness program I've set you, please do it once a day. Well that's it, we'll finish early today, ok?' Harry didn't say anything, his thoughts were very concentrated. 'Well...um...see you tomorrow and Harry......it's good to see you again.'

Harry turned to Lupin, smiled and then walked from the room calling back, 'It's great to see too!'

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The problem was that Lupin didn't know what was going on in Harry's head. How he had thought of the punch bag as his Uncle Vernon and how he was going to be able to get his own back.

'It's funny to think how not just the words punch, punch, arm in, wrist strong, elbow and hand in a straight line weren't the only ones in my head. I think it was more like 'kill him, punch, punch, arm in, blow is then stronger, wrist strong then there's more chance of breaking his nose or doing worse damage, elbow and arm in straight line so more power, so more chance of knocking him out', it's funny......' Harry thought bitterly.

'What's funny?' A voice asked from behind Harry. Harry turned with a fake smile plastered across his face. 'Did I say that out loud?' He thought while saying, 'Hey Ron, what you doing here?'

'Mione gave me a break. So I thought I'd come and see you train but Lupin said you'd gone as you had both finished early.' Ron paused and took a cautious glance at Harry. 'He also said you seemed upset at the end...' Ron stopped abruptly.

'I'm fine.' Harry said shortly. 'This is so not what I need.'

'Ok, no need to be so blunt. I'll see you later then.' Ron turned and started to walk back in the direction of the library.

'Ron! I'm sorry!' Harry shouted.

'See you later!' He replied as if nothing had happened.

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The date is Friday 10th September, the time is about 11.30 at night and the place is Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Gryffindor Tower, Gryffindor Common Room, a chair 2 feet from the fireplace, this is where Harry Potter sat, reflecting about the past week.

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The magic side to Defence Against The Dark Arts had been a disaster, what with Harry not being able to focus on the task in hand because of the fact that when he was near Remus, Harry was distinctly reminder of Sirius. The thoughts in his head didn't allow Harry to perform the simplest spells that he had been able to do when against wizards like Voldemort, Lucius Malfoy and other deatheaters.

He had then been fighting for his life, now he was only fighting to gain control of the situation but he knew that, that wasn't just what he had to get control of. There was also his feelings, his life and mainly himself in general and so with this all going through his head all of Monday's work had been pointless. Remus had been very patient with him the whole time, going over and recapping on the simplest of duelling spells, helpful spells, healing spells and of course his patronus. However, Remus being Remus couldn't let the obvious problems Harry was having slide and so had checked with him every 8 minutes whether he was tired or ill or generally down. Then Harry being Harry had replied that no he wasn't tired, ill or generally down to which Remus had given him a sceptical look but had left it until 8 minutes later.

Remus finally said goodnight at 10pm but not without one more word to Harry, which was:

'Harry, don't ever forget I'm here to talk to. I'm not very good with the whole parenting thing but I want to try my best for you, for Sirius, for James and for Lily.'

That amounted to 2 sentences (34 words) but to Harry that didn't matter, what mattered was that Remus was there for him even though he was being an ungrateful teenager. After Remus had finished his 34 words, Harry was speechless with gratitude and so overjoyed that he hugged Remus within an inch of his life.

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Potions. Potions, very, very laughable in Harry's opinion. Potions itself was relatively difficult but with Snape, that just made it impossible. Snape, the infamous Potions Master and hater of students unless of course they belonged in the supposedly 'all mighty and wonderful' Slytherin.

Snape managed to make this first extra lesson a nightmare beyond all nightmares.

'He definitely hides the fact that he absolutely hates me,' Harry rolled his eyes at the irony and chuckled.

He walked into the dungeons to find Snape waiting for him behind his desk.

'Right Potter, here's a list of potions we will be making up, none of them made at Hogwarts in classes. Along with making the potions you shall write an account of the properties of the potion, what stages it goes through in the making process and what each ingredient does to the potion at the stage where it's added. I don't expect any slacking, you understand me Potter? These are highly dangerous potions and if they go wrong, goodness knows what could bloody happen. And I expect each account in by the time the potion is finished correctly and bottled. Is that clear Potter?' Snape took a menacing step towards Harry. Harry nodded mutely, while thinking, 'crystal.'

'Very well, now you can start to work on the first potion on the list, it's nothing too difficult, I think that even you Potter will manage to brew this one. Ingredients in the cupboard, here's a key, you tell no one, you bloody well better hear me Potter, tell no one. Also here's a letter for you to give Madame Pince because you will need to retrieve books from the restricted section.'

Snape walked away and Harry watched him go but before he opened the door, he paused and spitefully said, 'Don't let me down Potter,' and with that he left.

That's when Harry's nightmare became reality, he was being ignored. Left. Deserted. Even if it was by Snape, it was still his worst fear, but he turned to the parchment to distract himself and looked at the first potion on the list – Reparium – a potion to heal cuts and minor wounds.

'Oh the irony of it!' Harry thought indignantly.

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Everything over the past week was, in Harry's opinion justifiably a joke. His whole week and at the moment his life was getting near to that too. Just before he reached Dumbledore's office for Occlumency lessons he was having thoughts about how Ron's hair caught the sun when they were in the Charms room this morning, he was watching how it glistened that he didn't realise that Professor Flitwick was standing right next to him shouting in his ear to tell him to please stop charming Neville's toad to tap dance. Harry had turned the colour of Ron's hair and had earned himself smirks from the Slytherins.

These really weren't the kind of thoughts he needed going round his head when he was about to face Albus Dumbledore. His mind was supposed to be clear.

'Yeah right!' Harry muttered to himself as he walked into Dumbledore's office.

'Good evening Harry.'

'Professor Dumbledore,' Harry replied curtly.

'Well lets start, I think that would be best. Yes, best not to think about these things, eh Harry?' Dumbledore laughed at his small attempt of a joke. Harry smiled back weakly, in fact you couldn't really call it a smile, it was more of a twitch.

'Ready, three, two, one – legilimens!'

'Protego!' He performed the same trick on Dumbledore that he had on Snape a year ago. This was because it was at this moment he realised he couldn't let Dumbledore into his mind, he wasn't ready for Dumbledore to know what had happened to him over the summer, or even today.

Dumbledore stumbled backwards a little and eyed Harry through his half-moon spectacles with deep suspicion. Harry felt those eyes looking into his soul searching for an answer to an unspoken question. Dumbledore then broke the silence, 'Well that certainly was a surprise Harry, it was quite impressive but I have to say that I wouldn't always rely on that method of defence.'

Harry looked to the floor and then brought his head up to meet Dumbledore's eyes. 'Yes Professor,' he muttered.

'Now I would like you to research other methods of defence for when someone could penetrate your mind, a list will do and we'll see if we can tackle some of them next week. That'll be all Harry, you're obviously tired, now head off to bed.'

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That had been the start of it all and there was so much more to happen in the distant and near future, Harry knew that and this is how it would continue. Harry stood up only to feel dizzy and fall back into the chair. His head was pounding, his back was aching terribly and all the wounds were screaming a silent plea to him to sit. Harry ignored all of this and pulled himself from the chair, when the portrait opened and in walked a bright eyed, bushy haired Hermione, followed by a gormless and tired looking Ron.

'Harry! You're up!' Hermione exclaimed in surprise, while Ron walked on past them, heading to the boys dormitories, without any recognition that he'd seen Harry.

Harry didn't say anything about this but sneaked a glance at Hermione, who was half scowling at him. Then he replied, 'Yeah, just heading to bed, library?' He smiled.

Hermione didn't reply, she just nodded and made her way to the girl's stairs to go to bed.

'Hermione!' She turned around and Harry held her shoulders, to make her face him looking into her chocolate coloured eyes, he gave her a kiss on the forehead and whispered, 'Night.' Harry then made for his bed, to try for a restless sleep.

Well, that's the next installment. I don't think that chapter's particularly good, can I please have your views on it, so r/r please please please, you know that you want to..... It's good to review, honest! Thanks, Lelimo.